The patience you exercise when your Blackberry hangs or when it loads after you switch it on, please apply it in your relationships. It helps!

*The Toilet, best place to eat stolen meat.

*They say, "Time heals everything". I'm not sure the white folks ever remembered Yoruba tribal marks when composing that saying.

*Some people can be funny, Why count your money in front of the ATM? Will you return it, if it's incomplete or is there a button that says "incomplete''?

*The greatest feeling I've ever had was watching my jollof rice and dodo heating up in the microwave.

*It amazes me that some people are still afraid to talk in the exam hall when the question clearly states "Discuss''

*I'm in Lagos, where internet masts and wireless hot-spots are everywhere, yet my internet connection still dey creep walk but Shekau is somewhere around Sambissa forest with trees everywhere, yet he has enough bandwidth to upload 59mins YouTube video. Only GOD knows what internet server he's using and how much that niqqa pays for his subscription.

*Confusion is when you go to steal meat from the pot and you forget whether the spoon was inside or on top of the pot.

*The rate at which the Super Eagles play draw matches makes me wonder if Okro is one of our Mineral resources.

*Most girls are looking for tall guys with pink lips and six packs like C. Ronaldo when their father is short, pot bellied with kponmo lips like Idi Amin.

*Somewhere in Onitsha, an Ibo man is struggling with the ushers on how to retrieve the N200 he mistakenly dropped instead of N20 offering.

*It is only in Nigeria that a Policeman will stop you, harrass you, shine torch light on your face during the day, search you, takes your phone and goes through your video gallery to watch mojo (blue film)

*No one cleans a room better than a guy expecting a Hot babe.

*If a woman leaves a man with vision for a man with television, soon she'll watch the man with vision on her husband's television.

*We are in the 21st century where People Use "LOL" Without Even Laughing, those same people would Use "I Love You" Without Even Loving You. Guide your heart!

*Naija babes profile on social media
Instagram - Locked.
Facebook - Locked.
Twitter - Locked
When in real life.
Between their legs - Unlocked.

*If you haven't tasted Sallah meat by now, you've to enroll for Anger Management and Character Development class, iwa e o da ladugbo.

*Have you ever beaten someone so bad on Fifa 15, they got up and said personal shit like, "at least I don't have 3 carry-overs this semester"

*Somewhere in Naija, during a Nollywood movie shoot, a Ghost got involved in an accident when he forgot to look his left and right before crossing. He thought he was still a ghost.

*She removed her jeans threw it to me & said "make me feel like a woman. I removed my trouser threw it 2 her & said, “wash them both"

*Welcome to Nigeria where Jesus sends you a Whatsapp message and threatens to kill you and your mother if you don't forward it to 10 people


Source: #copied

d lst wan na true