Stats: 3,186,783 members, 7,930,671 topics. Date: Sunday, 25 August 2024 at 03:20 AM |
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / 10 Good Reasons Marrying Young Is Good For You And The Society (779 Views)
10 Good Reasons You Should Not Date A Married Man. / 10 Good Reasons You Are Not Married / How Young Is Too Young To Date? (2) (3) (4)
10 Good Reasons Marrying Young Is Good For You And The Society by crowniran(m): 11:04pm On Oct 13, 2014 |
Why Marrying Young is Good for Society 1. Drifting Through One’s Twenties Can Waste a Key Decade When people expect that they’ll marry at thirty (the average age for first marriages is now at around 27 for women), then they tend to see their twenties as their time to explore, not their time to settle down. Everything gets delayed. You can spend a few years experimenting with different careers (or lack thereof), or traveling with no purpose, or hopping from relationship to relationship. As I talked about last week, though, your twenties are an important decade financially. If you can start saving then, you really set yourself up well for life. And the earlier people start saving and maturing, the better off and more productive society is. 2. Having Babies Younger is Better for Society Physically, the best years to have babies is in your early twenties. Yet few people are married or ready today at that point, largely because we have extended adolescence so far. While most people had babies young fifty years ago, today having one’s first baby after age 30 is the norm in many circles. Yet while socially we’ve changed, physically we haven’t. And as fertility rates drop, perhaps it would be better for society to prioritize maturing younger rather than prolonging the years when you “find yourself”, especially since those years really are so valuable. Why Marrying Young Can Be Good For You 3. You “Grow Up” Together When you marry at 20 or 21, you haven’t always figured out what you want in a house, or how you want to organize a kitchen, or how you want to pay your bills. You don’t know what you want in a church or where you want to live. But you can grow up and make those decisions together, and it’s kinda fun! When Keith and I married at 21 we had no idea about how we wanted to spend vacations or what kind of house we wanted, let alone how we wanted to do housework. We just figured it out ourselves. And because we hadn’t had our own routines for so many of these things, it wasn’t hard to merge. 4. It’s Easier to Merge Two Homes when There’s Not Much To Them Imagine you’ve been doing your finances on Quicken on the computer for ten years, and then you marry someone who keeps all receipts in shoe boxes. That’s tough to find a new way of doing it, when you’re both so set in your ways. Imagine you’ve had ten years since you moved out of your parents place to set your own traditions for Christmas and Thanksgiving. Now you have to do it all over again, when you’re emotionally wedded to the things you’ve already done. It’s just tricky to merge two households. It’s easier to start off together. 5. You Can Be a Younger Parent I remember being 27 years old and having one toddler on my back and one baby on my front and getting on the Toronto subway for 45 minutes, with 2 transfers, to get to the zoo, where I spent 6 hours with the kids, only to reverse the whole process. There is no way I would have had the same energy to do that if I were 37 instead. And here’s the thing: so many people say, “I want to travel before I settle down! I want to see the world!” But my youngest will be leaving home next year when I’m just 45. (I’m still tearing up at that a little, by the way). Keith and I are going to do some major traveling! We’re going to buy an RV and start seeing the world, little bits at a time. We’re heading to Australia for a conference. It’ll be wonderful (and hopefully take my mind off of my kids being gone). We’re still young, we’re still energetic, but best of all, we have some money now. We didn’t have any in our twenties. We can travel way more now than we could have then. 6. You Can Be a Younger Grandparent I think a lot of people forget this one: my mom became a grandma at 51. She was so energetic with my girls. She’s 71 now, and she’s still active, but the girls have such strong memories of her being much younger. They remember when she was still a career woman. They remember her doing really fun trips with them. They will always have very clear memories of her. On the other hand, my grandparents were 62 when I was born. While I have great memories of one of my grandparents, my maternal grandfather had a massive stroke at 64. He was a really strong, active man, yet I only remember him in a wheelchair with impaired judgment. My maternal grandmother, apparently, was just like me. She was opinionated, extroverted, and great at public speaking. Yet most of my memories of her are post-dementia. My mom has many friends her age who are just becoming grandparents now. I actually hope my girls have kids young, because I’m looking forward to piling grandchildren in our RV and taking them around North America. 7. You Resist Temptation If you’re with a guy you totally love when you’re 21, and your parents say, “you have to wait until you’re 25 and that graduate degree is finished before you marry”, how in the world are you supposed to resist the temptation to have sex? Sure it’s possible, but it’s awfully hard. When you love someone and feel close, you’re going to want to make love . It’s natural. Physiologically for men especially, the sex drive is highest from 18-25. It’s really, really hard to wait, and when I hear Christian parents saying, “I hope my son doesn’t marry until he’s done med school and residency when he’s 27″, I wonder what they’re thinking, frankly. Walking down the aisle to meet the only one you will ever make love to is such a beautiful thing and a gift. But if we start telling hormonally charged teens that they have to wait 15 years post-puberty to get married–fewer will wait for marriage for sex. 8. You Avoid a Lot of Heartache If people married young, perhaps we’d have fewer “exes” and fewer regrets. So much of the problem in marriages is caused by past baggage. If we put the expectation on kids that “it’s fine to get married at 21″ rather than “you had better not get married until you finish your degree and you have a good job”, then people would treat relationships at 20 more seriously. They wouldn’t think, “this can’t go anywhere, so let’s just have fun!” Often that “fun” ends up causing a lot of tears. 9. You Can Focus Your Goals Earlier Once you’re married, you can start making real plans. Where do we want to be in 5 years? In 10 years? When do we want to buy a house? What education do we need? Where do we want to live? Certainly you can do those things when you’re single, but it’s often tricky since you don’t know where life is going to take you. Once you’re married, you can nail these things down. And if you do marry at 22, then you will start thinking about buying a house. If you don’t marry until 28, you’re often not worried about buying a home at all, and so you rent for years. Researchers have found that marriage boosts one’s income and one’s net worth, all on its own, even controlling for class, race, and education. Being married makes people hunker down and treat life more seriously. And that’s good, because it means that ultimately you’ll be financially better off. 10. You Have Decades and Decades Together I am so looking forward to growing old with my husband, but I am also looking forward to years and years of having fun together before we do get old. He is my best friend. He is my lover. He is my favourite person in the world. I am so blessed to be able to be with him, and I am so blessed that we do have all these years together. Why would you not want as many years as you could with the man that you choose? Again, I know that not everyone will meet their marriage partner young, and that’s okay. There’s nothing inherently wrong with marrying later. My problem is that we’ve started to see marrying young as inherently wrong, and I think young marriage actually has a lot of benefits–probably even more than later marriages. My dream would be a society that focused on helping teens mature faster so that they would be ready to marry younger again. I personally think that would be a healthier society overall. So I’d encourage all of us who are parents to stop hoping our children marry later, and start preparing them to launch into life younger. It’s okay to marry in college. It’s okay to marry in your early twenties–as long as you’re sure of your faith, you’re sure of yourself, and you’re sure of your relationship. What do you think? I’d love to hear! |
Re: 10 Good Reasons Marrying Young Is Good For You And The Society by naturally: 11:05pm On Oct 13, 2014 |
Ok |
Re: 10 Good Reasons Marrying Young Is Good For You And The Society by adepiero: 11:18pm On Oct 13, 2014 |
poor editing. stop copying Yankee life style for 9ja ppl. our ways are different. |
Re: 10 Good Reasons Marrying Young Is Good For You And The Society by Nobody: 11:22pm On Oct 13, 2014 |
So mtcheeeew u tried sha |
Re: 10 Good Reasons Marrying Young Is Good For You And The Society by Segse(m): 11:52pm On Oct 13, 2014 |
Rubbish!!!!! Works of copy and plaster..... |
Re: 10 Good Reasons Marrying Young Is Good For You And The Society by Nobody: 11:58pm On Oct 13, 2014 |
Bring the Holy Cane! ![]() |
Re: 10 Good Reasons Marrying Young Is Good For You And The Society by Nobody: 5:47am On Oct 14, 2014 |
This is very educating. I will marry next year. Thanks. |
Re: 10 Good Reasons Marrying Young Is Good For You And The Society by Nobody: 6:51am On Oct 14, 2014 |
Great Article : a dude should marry @ 25 while lady @ 22 !! With Nigerian Factor .. Average dude is 30+ while lady is 27+ ! |
(1) (Reply)
I Need Love / Your Opinion Is Urgently Needed To Save Him / Please Help......what Should I Do?
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 33 |