The Nilotic Lovers (The story of an untold silence)... - Literature - Nairaland
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The Last Wolf Series : The Forgotten Mate (December 2015 Story of the Month) / Lamba Lambo: An Untold Story Of Love And Hatred / Love Story Of A Unilag Babe And Bus Conductor (2) (3) (4)
| The Nilotic Lovers (The story of an untold silence)... by PicanRoxy7: 12:52am On Oct 26, 2014 |
This is a work of fiction, names, characters, places, incidents, either are the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is coincidental. Dedication: Dedicated to all the meek and patient people of life, to you all this little work is offered in humble dedication. Acknowledgment: I thank everyone who has contributed greatly to my life, also to the entire race of mankind thank you all. I also thank and acknowledge my fellow introverts out there all over the world and around the globe, the members of the innie community and the creative type class those who defined the inside, thank you all, we live where you live… My profound gratitude to the Faculty of Art in the University of Life… About the Author: Pican Roxy, an introvert and an applied writer who has found the whole life in silence and solitude, he enjoys solitude in the rain forest zone of Asia Minor… He discovered a little late that he is an in-born writer, and suddenly found himself in the Faculty of Art, he believes that he is the Last Born of the Faculty of Art, desiring to become a top writer one day sometimes… He strongly believes that there are still many uncollected works of modern life and of the modern day. He loves the quote: “Alone and I, we live together”… For a free PDF copy of this story send request to pican.roxy@gmail.com... |
| Re: The Nilotic Lovers (The story of an untold silence)... by PicanRoxy7: 12:57am On Oct 26, 2014 |
[size=14pt] The Nilotic Lovers… [/size] When Life unveils you: The Chase… There is only one life, best enjoyed in love... |
| Re: The Nilotic Lovers (The story of an untold silence)... by PicanRoxy7: 1:04am On Oct 26, 2014 |
Prologue of Life: As you browse through life, learn to live on the consistent side of circumstances and never be tossed into eruption of guilt. - Pican Roxy – Of the guarded lone… The whole life is accompanied by much grieve and pain which will unveil you on the long run, opening you to the sweet and bright side of life, everyone must pass through this, it is a dark night before a bright sunny day, many things will happen in those hours of darkness and this is what life entails… That there is an hour of darkness characterized by the hours of silence… - Pican Roxy – Seasons of the midnight… Love cannot endure indifference it needs to be wanted, it like a lamp, it needs to burn on the oil of another’s heart or it flames burns out and this is my story… Towards a way of Life: The Nilotic lover the story of an untold silence, a deep and time unveiling life mystery of a young man who found his life-long love and desire somewhere in the middle of the River Nile… Honor the ocean of love… Read it your way: Early that morning, mom woke me, since my alarm clock failed to wake me, it got out of charge I suppose, mom blew my name like a whistle, not waiting for a second hearing I flew out of bed off to the washroom, washed myself, the smell of the Irish spring soap which I used that morning was mind soothing and skin cooling, after washing, I dragged myself to my room, I dressed and put everything in place making me ready for the day. The community bus SAE14H will be around by 7:15am which of course will wait for no one, I quickly flipped through my timetable and selected the needed books from the pile of notes littering my reading table in order not to miss the bus… Love is all about living one’s life… The right side of Life: I hail from the Carnot Lavender district of Bangui of the Central Africa Republic, but I was born in the sub-urban of the Western Sahara in Dakar the capital city of Senegal, I attended the Elementary low and middle school of our local district and later attended Central high College in the cadastral zone of Bangui, I write to narrate my true life story back then in Central high college where I had my SAT and 1st degree, the scenery of my life, the full story of how I fell in love with a girl (Wendolene) who in-turn shared nothing of what my feelings were and much later of how another (Meganne) fell deeper in love with me and loved everything about me, who readily gave everything and anything just for me to make her a part of my congenial world… At inception, the matter looked simple but much later I found out that, it was far from simple but highly complicated, I tried to let go of the whole thing but could not because the mindset is not easy to erase or to change you know, many things must happen before that may be achieved, I suffered much emotional distresses things went ill with me as my heart went to a place where I could not bring it back, I wish I could spread my wings and fly away into the atmosphere of unstained silence… Love is to love someone for who they are, who they were and who they will be… Trouble in Plate River: I had narrowly escaped death about two months earlier, over a crucial matter that happened in our neighborhood, when one gang star fired a Walther PPK 9mm auto revolver, at someone in my opposite direction when I was walking back home from the library, which caused a great arsenic uproar in the neighborhood that day, the day was characterized by much chaotic distress, it was chance and fate that landed me safely at home and it took like 4 days before my heartbeat could return to normal, thinking what would have happened if I was the one who was shot dead at that point, it could have been anyone or if a stray bullet had hit me. Although I was not in any way involved, but such thing will bring about more watchfulness and carefulness, ever since I meddled in no one’s affairs I kept my head low and was stealth in my way, I began the life of private reserve and migrated to the careful side of life… I decided to see no one and wanted no one to see me and this was how I kept on with life. Before going too far, Pican Roxy is my name and I live here in Plate River the down town of Arizona of the CAR republic, Central Africa… Love is a hard work and hard work sometimes hurt… Light of things: I shrugged off from the house straight to the waiting bus by the side of the subway, this was my second month in Central high college, as I entered into the bus, looking ahead of me on the 4th row by the left, I saw something, a non-artificial material, a fairy made from the raw material called beauty that gem was all over it, she appealed to my spirit, my heart accepted her, everything about her pleased my inner being, I almost stood still before grabbing a sit on the bus, I sat on 5th row which was directly behind her, instantly the engine in my heart began to work, what happened to me, something sparked in me from that very moment that I saw her… The engine of the new 4.5 twin cam of the Nissan Urvan 40 passengers bus swung into action, the bus which was given by the county’s deputy Marshall not long before then, the driver was an old fella with a violet panama cap on his oval shape head, he drove the bus like chairman of slow poison group, those who never drive fast, we could say or do nothing, all that was important was for me was getting safely to school. Back to the ocean of beauty sitting in front of me, it was like something was just created in me, I saw myself in her, I heard there is no such thing as love at first sight, then I told myself that the saying was as correct as pure error mixed with coarse lies, instantly I began to understand the language of love and I was looking at love in the front of me, I hardly feel impulse of emotions but for her I did, momentum of impulse, the innocent lady sat in front of me, unaware of the what was going on in my heart or anyone else, why would she care about that, as long as it wasn’t her classroom or lecture hall, she has nothing to lose. Love at first sight is said to be the only truth. Choosing the careful side from the past: I instantly remembered my promise of keeping my head low and to meddle with no one, and to see no one and for no one to see me either, I tried to forget her and at that instance, I took her thought away from my mind and that was the end of the matter at that time… In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities… What the day said: When we arrived at the college I got off the bus quickly, heading straight for my new classroom, (because I switched department earlier), I intentionally did this in order not to know which direction the lady hunting my emotion will go, and this made me steps ahead, at least for that day I saved myself from having a worrisome day, so I thought, I got to the class exchanged pleasantries with those already there and we all settled down. That morning I noticed that everyone was serious trying to do the assignment to be submitted the same morning before the lecturer comes in, this same assignment has been given more than a week earlier, I decided to take no cognizance of them, I said to myself, unserious students which is what they were, this is not the first or second time, they were fond of doing that, I have noticed this in them, within the short moment of my arrival in that department, while they were doing that, I opened my bag and brought out the note for the first lecture, which was PHY 177 Strength of material… 20 minutes later, Prof. (Mrs) Lucan walked in, a topaz colored woman, so very brilliant she is, in the field of physics and she is well known all over the college as the physicist of distinction, she is known best for her profound analysis in Mechanics, Heat and Atomic physics, though she taught the other aspects too, but she earns the cap of respect when it comes to those fields, very polite in nature, looking at her face you may easily guess that she will be in her early 50’s so I think and the class began for that day… You simply love because you cannot help it… It should have ended that day: Our lecture room has two entrance, one in the front and the other at the back like most lecture room, usually I love sitting somewhere a little further than the middle of the class, after the first 3-4 rows. After the Physics lecture, 2 other lecturers came and we rested for some little while, unknown to me that since morning when I entered into the class, that I have not turned my eyes backward to see what may be going on with the people behind me, then someone from behind called my name Pican, looking back to see who it was, again I saw her at the back of the class, the same lady, there she was, I instantly forgot who called me, I could not help but to keep on staring at her, it was actually Olsen that called me who was just 2 rows away on my immediate right. After a brief while I responded to Olsen he actually wanted me to give him the formula to calculate the pivotal strength of Fir wood, which I quickly wrote for him. I sat back as at other times, thinking about her, what may happen next I seems not to know and I left it there still that time. We don’t believe in love true love until the first attack… The Breeze from Lorraine: On one bright sunny day during recess, she was sitting by herself so I walked up to her, and for the first time we spoke, the interaction went well, perhaps it was too smooth being the first time ever. She has a soft slim pink lips and a lemon color Tyndall voice which you had love to hear, the consonant harmonic tone of the voice sent me into feelings of some delight. [Exchanging pleasantries]… Pican: Hi, Pican here, precisely Pican Roxy, do feel free to call me Pican and she is? Wendolene: Wendolene Welch Wellington. Pican: Wow! That sounds more of Irish or Polish, are you from the Oceania? Wendolene: [Teasing me] Smart you, you got it, it actually an Irish name which was originally originated from Lorraine… Pican: So where are you from? Wendolene: The Slopes of Calcutta. Pican: You don’t mean that, you look more like the people of the Upper Volta basin Wendolene: Yeah, that is what most people say, but I am actually from the slopes of Calcutta. Pican: The slopes of Calcutta indeed, anyway it’s nice meeting you Wendolene: Same here, the pleasure is all mine [I smiled to that and some smooth feelings tossed calmly within me]… Pican: How long have you been staying in Plate River? Wendolene: In the space of 2 months now, Pican: 2 what, How is that? Wendolene: Actually I am a transferee student and am here to complete my SAT and 1st degree and that is why my face may not be too familiar. Pican: I thought as much, so how come you picked a career in a field highly dominated with calculation. Wendolene: Don’t be surprised about that, because life itself is filled with how come, to answer you, the main reason why I choose this field is because that it is what I have always wanted, I love mental challenges so much, something that will put my brain into activity and reactivity series and sequence… Pican: You are kind of impressing, I am short of word. Wendolene: Well you don’t need to be, that is just me. Pican: Yeah I do agree with you, and that is actually true. Wendolene: How about you, how long have you been here? Pican: As long as it is may be said, I actually grew up here, my middle and high school were here, though I was born in Dakar Western Sahara, but I have had all my life here. Wendolene: That sounds beautiful, meaning that you have 2 citizenship? Pican: Yes something almost like that. Wendolene: Wow that is an ample opportunity Pican: If you say so Wendolene: But that is what it is Pican: Anyway thank you, so where in Plate River is your house? Wendolene: 15 nautical meters northward the building of the Institute of loss adjusters. Pican: That means you stay on Colipan road? Wendolene: Exactly, block PN2D Pican: Alright Wendolene: What about you? Pican: Plot 125 Olympus lane. Wendolene: It seems like I have never heard that before, the only one Olympus I know is the mountain peak in northeast Greece I never supposed there could be another place named Olympus. Pican: Yes, you said it well, actually Olympus is a quiet corner which many people don’t know, unlike Colipan road which is a popular Jingle in Plate River, funny enough it is not too far from Colipan but many people don’t know it, so I am not surprised you do not know it either Wendolene: Thanks that saved me. Pican: Most people who have been in Plate River for long does not seems to be aware of it as well. Wendolene: One of these days, during my leisure time, I could take a stroll down to know the place Pican: Where in Plate River do you like the most? Wendolene: The Da-Rosella’s place on Television road. Pican: As if I knew you were going to say that. Wendolene: Yes because that is about the most accepted place in town. Pican: Yes that it correct. Wendolene: I like your liquid flow accent. Pican: You leave me with no word, anyway thank you. Wendolene: Maybe you don’t need to thank me. Pican: You speak well too, in a smooth flow. Wendolene: [Smiling in silence]… Pican: By reason of moving forward, where would you like to practice your real life application? Wendolene: The all that I desire is to dissipate what I know to others, I have strong affinity for lecturing Pican: So may I call you Prof Mrs.? Wendolene: Funny you, maybe or maybe not, time will tell… The discussion went a little further beyond that, that afternoon, after which we returned to the class. I think I like her so much, very much, the hair do on her that day was appealing and she was equally welcoming. Love is like a war, easy to start, hard to end, impossible to forget… |
| Re: The Nilotic Lovers (The story of an untold silence)... by PicanRoxy7: 11:38pm On Oct 26, 2014 |
Becoming Ying & Yang: Over time we gradually swam into a bigger river of friendship, we began knowing more of each other, many things to highlight in her and also in me, we went well and there was never a scratch in us, we came to school together most times and we returned together, we spend good time together and we were soon known to be fond of each other, though many people supposed that we were going out, but in our mind, we both know we were not, and there was no attraction in us to each other except for me, that I have been arrested and locked in the solitude of her love which I kept there unexpressed because there was no way to express it. To describe Wendolene a bit, she has a red jacinth complexion, Caucasoid nose, long fluffy silky hair, she has deep blue eyes, an inviting pink lips, a smooth paved locked teeth, which I have not seen in full magnification, an average height 5feet 5 inches, nature perfected it’s work in her and everything was present where they should be, leaving none out. All that you are, justifies my love… Sleep fighter: Like the regular saying whatever and however you feel for someone, you need to express yourself to the concerned person, cease to worry whether you will be accepted or not, better still expect to be rejected so that you will not be too disappointed if you are turned down at least you would have let go of the inner burden, but if it turns out to be a yes from the person, a green light, then you are in, you will love and cherish every moment of it more than money, the time for me to do this will soon arrive when I must clear all these syndromes of the unusual. Looking deep into Wendolene, I could read and sense no particles of affection for me in her, she only liked me as a friend and I saw nothing beyond this, however it was not the same with me, the story was quite different on the opposite end I must say. The more we met, the more she felt more comfortable with me and relished every bit of my being around, the same with me too except for my feelings. We always believe that our first love is our last and our last love our first… Let nature be your teacher: If nature intended us to talk more than listen, she would have given us two mouths and one ear. I stayed calm for considerable large amount of time, to listen to voice of nature before laying the lines into the sea… If I must do so or tell her anything, I need to use some cut clear non-conventional method, getting out of the ordinary, swinging out of the usual, by applying some synergic techniques. In order not to subverted in actions, I decided to follow the nature of things, time also has a big role to play, I waited pretty long before I could figure what next would be best. I decided to keep quiet a little more, to see what may likely happen. After a pretty long time when, there seems to be no interest in Wendolene not even a little, she only likes my person and that was all the full stop to it. At the realization of this fact, I turned away my feelings and decided to see her the way she saw me. This went on, I thought of nothing about her anymore, I remained who I have been and the love was not felt in me anymore, and we continued well with each other… This was how I turned away all that I truly felt for her and said or did nothing, I forced myself into believing that I don’t love her again, maybe I still did, I am not too sure, but this was what I told myself… Trip over love you get up. Fall in love and you fall forever… Academic times: The days strayed into months and in the space of 9 months thereabout we continued like this, we saw each other almost on daily basis, we had many things in common, by now she was a familiar sight on Olympus lane, and I also patronized Colipan road very well at least for her sake, if for none other. We were doing well in school and we carried on with life, there were many times we did assignments together, classwork, practicals and jumbo session either together or in group, I could remember on a particular occasion when I was taken out of the group and placed in another group, she complained all through while the group work lasted, I don’t know why she was very fond of me and wanting my presence as if I am the very oxygen she needed to take in, still I did not allow that to bother me. In this pattern our early academic days continued and we soon got promoted to the next level the 2nd level ICND 2 of our SAT. By now, I knew almost everything about her almost as myself, in those times, I got to know that she was born in April, and she is 10 months younger than myself, her 2 best colors are arylide almond color and wisteria wine, her best fruit is the Pale boysenberry, and her best film ever like she will say is titled “The Berretta”, also what she likes best about herself is her strong attitude to work, which I also attest to, she has a strong attitude to work, very focused and determined, all these and some others that I cannot remember. Shortly after that time, we went on holiday, so we did not see each other again for a long time, so this assisted me in forgetting almost everything about her, even her, I did forgot… Love is the great amulet that makes this world a garden… Bicycle has no reverse: Plate River is a rain prone region, known for its’ severe hurricane, at one point in history, a tornado was recorded, not claiming lives or property though, but it came in severely whirling hurricane. After one of those regular hurricane on one evening during the holiday, I went to the Da-Rosella’s place on Television road, to grab a cup or two of mocha over the drizzling weather, there I sat in a lone paired table, I also bought one arm burger to balance the drink. Still seated there, I glanced at the LED screen which was showing some ads of soaps from far-east which did not catch my fancy I took my glance from that direction and was brooding over other things, nothing precisely, just browsing through the glossary of my life within me… Suddenly, I heard my name, Pican, a familiar feminine voice of someone I know quite well, but did not expect to find there at that time, no one but Wendolene has that voice, turning around to see who it was, as I turned around what my eyes saw, left my mouth opened… The Wendolene in front of me that day was made of another material. I thought I have ostracized her from my heart, only then did I know that I was joking and what I intended to do is as easy as impossible. I find it hard to forget her because she was half human, half amazing, it took me some couple of seconds to close my mouth, it was Wendolene no doubt, but it was a newer version of Wendolene she looked radiant like emerald that afternoon, her silky hair was flowing and floating all over her shoulder, she wore an A shaped gown, and what I saw, to tell you, forget it, my mouth cannot do the narration, she wore an espadrille to complement it, she looked natural and was glowing in what is called beauty. She looked ten times beautiful more than anything. [Not too long we exchanged pleasantries]. Pican: Hi, good to have you here, how are you? Wendolene: Am great and it nice to see you Pican: Same here nice seeing you too Wendolene: You never supposed that you should ask after me right? Pican: Oh, am sorry it is not like that, honestly I am sorry, just that I did not want to poke on you for no reason that why, sorry about that. Wendolene: That alright, there is no problem Pican: You look good. Wendolene: Thank you so much. Pican: But you did not ask after me either. Wendolene: Touché, I am sorry too, I got held down in many things. Pican: That ok, and I believe they are things good for you. Wendolene: So I hope as well. Pican: So how have you been cruising through this holiday what have you been doing? Wendolene: Nothing much only for the absence of the academic works, and a little more time to nap. Pican: I see. Wendolene: What about you? Pican: Just been around trying to learn one or two tips ahead of next session and then relax as well. Wendolene: Happy you. Pican: Same to you. Wendolene: Thank you. I ordered a cup of Mocha for her and a spring bite chips and we continued the discussion. The irony of the matter is, I still love her, maybe I never stopped loving her, she brightened something in me that afternoon and this time I am sure I cannot forget her the 2nd time and I must do something about the matter or the matter will do something about me... Love is the difficult realization that something other than oneself is real. Schema (Plan B++): Tucked away in my quiet corner for some times, cooking what will be the best method in my head, before arriving at a very simple but neat formula. The best approach to use is the schema platonic platform (SPP) or the plutonic consistent method (PCM)… The course of true love never did run smooth… Deep calling unto deep: After a pretty long time, from all indication I needed to make a move, I needed to do something, or something else might happen, my heart began to trouble my mouth, you cannot keep quiet, you have to do something about this matter, I cannot bear this anymore, tell her your mind and clear all these things… The more I decided to keep quiet the more my heart quarreled with me and the more I kept on thinking about this lady, who walked her way into my heart in some unknown way and will not leave. After a while, I decided and made up my mind that I was going to tell her everything inside me and let whatever will happen, happen, I need to save myself of these painful feelings, which was making me lose a large portion of myself. One afternoon still during the holiday, we met and sat at the park opposite fillet cantina having our regular discussion just to while away time, mostly on our friendship, school, hobbies and other things like that, she came with 2 canned drinks from her house so we sipped that over the breezy conversation. A little later when we were out of words and ideas then we both kept quiet, then something told me today is the day, you need to do something today and now is time… I broke the silence quietly, Wendolene I said, she looked at me firmly to know why I called her name, she said yes, then I continued; there is something that I will like to make known to you, I would have told you before now, but it has to do with time and chance, but I think today will be just fine for it. Pican come on feel free say whatever it is, are we strangers to each other, tell me whatever it is and feel free, you know me better than that, tell me what is bothering you, I am all attentive to you… When she said this, then I unveiled my mind. It was not my ear you whispered, but into my heart… |
| Re: The Nilotic Lovers (The story of an untold silence)... by PicanRoxy7: 11:03am On Oct 28, 2014 |
The postscript & Young Modulus: Today seeing you, I was indeed happy, but my heart was not, I asked my heart, what may be wrong, he told me, it was you, I asked him, how can it be you, he told me he wanted to start living with you, I asked him why he would want to start living with you, he told me he belonged to you, I asked him how can he belong to you, he told me that you are the original owner, I asked him how can these things be, he then said, he is in love with you… [When I said this my head almost flew away but I held it]… Wendolene I know that this may be alarming and shocking to hear but I cannot hold it anymore, I love you, I just cannot stop to love you, I tried to, but it won’t go and that is why I have kept quiet more than these 10 months, you have become a Liver fluke in the lining of my system that cannot be gotten rid of, if I had my way I will never do this, or say this, I know it may hurt you and disappoint you, but I will be better for it, I cannot keep estranging my affection of unexpressed feelings, if I don’t, it will be a crime against my heart, how else may I even say it other than this easier and uncomplicated method. I have known you now not a little while, and I really love you, I started loving upon the first time I set my eyes on you on that bus, on our way to school, and ever since I have constrained myself, it should have ended that day, but I found you in my department, and I believe there could be more to us, maybe we are meant for each other having come this far totally frictionless and without any struggle, well I cannot help but to admit I have fell in love with you, Oh! Dearest Wendolene It was not my ear you whispered, but into my heart, it was not my lips that you kissed but my soul, if you were not an angel I would have gotten an angel to be watching over you, but angels don’t watch angel. I have never told you this before that you are half human half amazing, I cannot withstand the thought of losing you to nothing, please I ask, I will want you to be in possession of my heart, to keep and to have it, please allow me into the royal chamber of your heart, let me dwell there, and never leave. Wendolene the only one thing I ask, please accept my love and love me in return… When I finished speaking she looked at me with a kind of broken mirror look, she seems not only disappointed but highly offended, instantly she packed her things and walked out on me without a word. Although after saying this I felt very light, but her reaction made me felt even heavier, I was forced to think as if I cheated her or robbed her of some vital privileges, the way she walked away that afternoon was as if she has a cousin who was in coma who needed her attention, she went into thin air, leaving me with no word. It was not my lips you kissed but my soul… Pepper and the wound: I tried all that I could to do reach her but I could not, so the last visible option was to go to her house, so 3 days later I went to check her and ask after her, at least to speak with her. When I got there, I waited for 10 minutes which seemed to me like 10 months before she came out to attend to me, which has never happened in time past. I will not be wrong to say that something is wrestling much within her, and I know that I should be the main course of her reaction, in the manner which she did. When she finally arrived we sat as at other times, but she will not look at me, I became an object that could not be beheld by her, I wonder what I could do, then I told her that I am sorry to have offended her, that I never intended to do hurt her, but she seems not to want to hear me, all I could read on her face is, when are through, make use of the door… She acted really indifferent and out of usual, I thought of how I could make her calm down, but then I realized that her head is still hot and it cannot be cooled at that time, so not too long after, I took my leave, neither did she see me off or tell me good bye. I have fallen in love many times…Always with you… The Dark saying: 5 days after, I presume that she must have felt better by now, I sent a text to her and told her that I would like to see her at the library garden, which most people use for recess after long hours of reading, so she came. When she came and we exchanged pleasantries, as at other times, then I told her that I am sorry and truly sorry I really was, she said its ok but that was not all. Pican she called my name, I am very disappointed in you, you mean that you have been having such thing in mind all these while… [When she this I looked at myself to see what was wrong about loving her, and to ask myself if it was a crime to fall in love with someone and admit then it, then she continued]… So that is why you have been good and nice to me all the while, I thought that you were caring and honest, I never knew that you have an hidden agenda, I never thought of it not once, I so much trusted you and revealed myself to you, but now, you felt you could use that as an advantage because you think you know virtually everything about me, look at me, read my lips and read it well, I don’t love you full stop, it is not possible, you cannot have me, not in your dream, not in reality, well you are not even to be blamed I am at fault, to have even granted you access into my life in the first place, if not I wouldn’t be here discussing all these modesty of yours. After she finished saying this, she excused herself and left… It’s easy to fall in love. The hard part is finding someone to catch you… When gloom married gloom: All my life, I have never been this capsulated by anyone let to mention a lady. If it were me, the simple response I will give is this, thanks but I don’t seems to feel the same way you feel, this is about the best possible answer, I see no reason why should say all these things that could give someone syndrome of unconsciousness, Wendolene at this time was rigid for no cause. She left me shattered and scattered, I was torn apart into several parts, how can I start gathering the remains of myself, life at that time seems unfair to me, it left me to be a loner and a solitudinarian. For several days I was very moody because I was not only hurt, but also wounded… As a result of what she did, I told myself that I will continue indefinitely and will not relate with anyone… Love without reason last the longest… The concerned person at the door: Pican you have to continue with life, you cannot continue to be torn apart into two, you will need yourself for many more years to come, don’t worry it is one of those things ok, time will heal you, you will soon forget all these things as if they never happened. Replying my friend, I said, thank you so much I appreciate you, only that you need to know that it hurt too deep and not easy to let go of such an amount of pain at once. I would that I may become amnesiac and these things will be remembered never again. [My friend grinned face at me and raised his initially low tuned voice, almost yelling]… What has come over you! Why would you wish yourself to be amnesic just because of what is happening in just an half season of life, tell me, have you lost your life, no or what have you lost that is more important than your life. I only wish that I take alcohol I would have wiped myself off tonight with vodka, but alcohol is not the answer at this time he said, yes I know that it is not the answer, but it is going to make me forget the question. Pican I know you feel bad and it is too easy, I feel how you feel, don’t worry you will pass through all these things in no time, trust me. Thank you so much I owe you one. Not to worry he said, what are friends for I will always be there for you. My friend left some moments later and I started making for home, on my way home I stopped by the Plate River stream and I whiled away sometimes there… The heart has reasons that reasons cannot understand… Because of because: The sublimation of my desire and how I felt while seated alone across the Plate River stream, thinking of Wendolene, as my bleeding heart was in much distress and my eyes were filled with longing of her. My mind was seeing Wendolene and I playing in the garden of Love, but so sad it was, they were but mere imagination in my head and Wendolene was nowhere in furlong of hectares away… Because of because many things I seem not to understand. Because of because the whole life seems quiet. Because of because I have fell in Love with Wendolene. Because of because Wendolene does not share in my feelings. Because of because deep is calling unto deep. Because of because life seems to be hurtful. Because of because I can fall in love with no one else. Because of because times are complicated. Because of because moving on with life is difficult. Because of because I have lost myself. Because of because I cannot relate well anymore. Because of because I can only live in seclusion and the society of myself. Because of because I am Alone. Because of because when will Wendolene accept me. Because of because I need Wendolene. Because of because let Wendolene give me a glass of the water of love. Because of because only then I will be alright. Because of because Wendolene may never be mine. Because of because I cannot continue to be torn apart. Because of because I need to move on with life. Because of because I let go. Because of because Wendolene told me that she does not love me. Because of because Wendolene said it is not possible. Because of because she said you cannot have me. Because of because I wept in my heart. Because of because desires have failed. Because of because I quit on Wendolene. I did not just quit, but I have had enough, I have given my all to her, giving her what I never had, all that there is to me, I showed her unstrained affection and gave her unceasing attention, but she would not see it, all my actions meant nothing to her, they were all next to nothing, even myself, I am next to nothing, for all she cares, I am just there. I really gave everything to make this girl to be called mine, but she never saw them, she cared not, I could get lost for all she cares, who am I, or what do I take myself to be, let me get lost, this was all what her actions meant… Even if she doesn’t love me in return, I believe that one day sometimes, I will have the capacity to love the whole world… He who you love dearly will make you cry… The deep calm quiet river: How do you pick up the threads of an old life, how do you go on, when in your heart you begin to understand there is no going back, there are some things that time cannot mend, some hurt that go too deep, that have taken hold. I will really need time to heal up and healing is like forgiveness it is a gradual procedure, give yourself all the time that you need in the world and that is what my case needed, the wound of an unpronounced effect upon me, healing could be faster in some cases when you play some emotional music. I got to understand that the world is full of suffering and it is also full of overcoming it, like I said that healing is a matter of time, at the same time it is a matter of opportunity, because of the wide trail of the ashes of pain. Now all I see is scar, but I know that the hurt is over, the wound is closed… To love and be loved is the greatest happiness of existence… 1 Like |
| Re: The Nilotic Lovers (The story of an untold silence)... by PicanRoxy7: 12:06pm On Oct 29, 2014 |
Life greatest serenity: Over the years my mind went more-quiet and more reserved and a better version of me was evolved, in those years I thrived through life in silence and things went well in all perspectives, I was doing well in my academic life and in my inter-personal relationship with people, few people though, but those years were not without strain and stress of drops of depression about Wendolene whether she will come back or not, later I took it off my mind and then I continued with life, in those years I came across my best friend who taught me many things about life, my best friend by name, solitude and his twin brother silence, they live in a part of the town called Arena le’capri seclucio, meaning Secluded Life Arena, and the name inscribed of their Cottage is Seclusion and the Secluded person, they offered me a cheerful accommodation off payment in their house and I was given a luxurious apartment because the house was very big and it could contain many people, without hesitation I moved in with them and I also began to live in the secluded life, and there Silence and solitude both taught me many things about myself, they made me aware of the potentials, virtues and strength that can be draw from Silence and solitude in the secluded life, they showed me everything about them, so honest were they that they hid nothing from me, and with this the College life continued, I kept on seeing Wendolene on regular basis, we exchanged greetings and by now I was much more fine and far better than I used to be, still thinking if she might come for me one day sometimes, then later the thought of her went totally and left my mind and I lived on as though I never felt anything for her in the first place. The art of love is largely the art of persistence… The person from New Orleans: On one rainy day, it was a very torrential rainfall that day in upper Arizona, not only did it rain cat and dog, it also rained oceans and rivers and many student were delayed from going home, and the subway was filled with plenty passengers, I decided to seek an alternative path, walking across the parking lot, a sedan Pontiac car, parked by my side, I drifted aside to leave the way if the driver wanted to park, then a claxon came from the car, I then knew the person meant to speak with me, bending my head forward, a male gender was behind the wheel. Opening my lips I said, hello sir, how are you and a bold voice answered am fine you? I replied I am fine too. Asking why he beeped me, how may I be of help to you sir, he then said, I know that the rain is holding you here, I came to pick my daughter, and I am going down town and if we happen to be going the same way, I wouldn’t mind to drop you and any other students we meet along the way, when I heard that, I felt a lot relieved, he snapped at a button which released the lock of the door and I stretched my hand to open the car which was a chromium tinted color and a duralumin alloyed rim, getting in quickly I sat on the rear leather sofa, and all I could say was thank you, I am much honored and grateful, it’s a pleasure he replied, that is Plate River for you, rain and water he added. He drove past the subway and then picked two other students who were heading down town Plate River, the windows were winded up and the AC was on at a mid-temperature, as he drove along he played a soft customs music and the whole car was in stillness… Some couple of minutes later, I alighted at Television road and made for my way home, appreciating the man for his kind gesture. Love cures people – both the one gives it and the ones who receives it… Wire club: One evening, as I was coming back from the Library, usually I go home via Television road, but on this particular day, I decided to follow another way which is slightly synclinal in topography, close to the groove of the on-shore of the Wire club, my folder on my right hand, as I walked down, then a lady walked to meet up with me, who seems to have been coming from behind me, hi she said politely, I replied hello, and from there the conversation initiated itself, I was actually surprised that a lady could walk up to me and initiate a conversation, skimming quickly over her, she was a pretty looking damsel with a complete center of gravity… Meganne: How do you do? Pican: I am fine you? Meganne: Same here Pican: [Going a step ahead of me]. Meganne: Do you remember my face Pican: No, I can’t place the face, would you be kind enough to remind me? Meganne: I know you did not see my face the other day, when my dad came to pick me in school when it was raining and there was influx and congestion everywhere, so we picked you and some other guys too on our way back home, I was sitting right beside him do you remember now? Pican: Oh! I am so sorry, I didn’t know it was you, actually like you rightly said, I did not see your face and cannot really place the face anywhere, I really can say that this is about my first time of seeing you or perhaps someone with this kind of your look, anywhere it nice to meet you. Meganne: Yeah its nice meeting you too. Pican: Pican is my name, Pican Roxy, feel free to call me Pican and what yours? Meganne: I am Meganne Swiss Pican: I love that name Meganne Swiss, you actually have a beautiful name just like you. Meganne: Don’t be unserious, stop flattering me. Pican: But I am not flattering you, the whole universe confirms it that you are beautiful, and the handwriting is all over you. Meganne: Anyway thank you. Pican: My pleasure, you can say that again. Meganne: I think I like your person. Pican: My person! [Looking sharply at her as if she said just proposed to me]. Meganne: Yeah I do, I like it for reasons that I cannot convince myself about. Pican: Come on, stop making me feel important. Meganne: And who says you are not? Pican: I don’t need to be told, I know that I am not Meganne: Well, this is what I feel and this is the opinion that I hold and I want to believe that I have the right to have my opinion unrestrained Pican: Yes you do. Meganne: Good Pican: [A bit to divert the discussion] so what are you study in the college. Meganne: Radiology. Pican: Ray what!!! Interesting Meganne: What makes its interesting? Pican: That is because there are few people who wants to study radiology and now I am seeing a female radiologist before me, kind of rare you know. Meganne: Actually you are very correct, it is not populated at all and where we have a higher capacity of people, it is more of men and not too much of women. Pican: You got it that is what I am saying, that means you will have a lot of vocabs suspended in your head, you brain will be encyclopedic and magnetic. Meganne: Yes, it was a bit tough and complex at inception, but over time, I scaled through and got used to it, at least it’s my second nature now. Pican: So you want to be an expert in what, CT scan, MRI, X-ray or ECG… Meganne: Wow! You are mentioning them with ease, is your mom or dad a radiologist. Pican: No actually I read about it, I was also opportuned to visit a radiology department and I asked series of questions and the attendant on duty that day was kind enough to take me through some practical sessions, I remember vividly that I got jammed in the MRI that day and the stretcher refused to come out on time immediately, so I laid there until it was restore to factory setting and it began to function normal and then it drove me out, but it was indeed a very lovely experience, so that was how I got to know much about it, then later I read more about it and consulted more versatile search engines, which expanded my knowledge of it and I was better enlightened about it. Meganne: Infact it is like I am almost in a practical class, because I don’t think I know more than all these that you have said. Pican: You are not serious, how can you compare a one cup of knowledge to your ocean of experience I will not take that, not even as a compliment, so which of them do you want to be expert in. Meganne: For now due to need and demand, I am thinking whether the X-ray or MRI, though MRI is far more complicated and complex. Pican: That means you will have to be an expert on CT scan before you can advance to MRI, because I was told that before you can ever be allowed to operate the MRI, you must have had a vast and robust knowledge of the CT scanner. Meganne: Exactly, the person must have taken his time to explain much to you, if you know these much… [We continued the discussion until almost late evening, I really learnt much from her that day and we called it a day]… What the world really need is more love… Irrigation of the tender: Meganne came into play when life stood still, when it will neither toss here nor there, when the whole life was filled with gloom, when destitute loneliness resided with me, then the scenario of Meganne came into act. With her care quick nature, I instantly liked her and I felt like I began to heal up faster of the pains of the past, I love her, this was glaring, but I was not in love, no I was not. Again, I began seeing life, I began to live, I came again into reality of myself from after my prolonged depression, life gradually began to look rosy to me… Carefully, I started coming out of my shell, and was able to express my mind, and also for the fact that someone was readily there for me and never tired of me, I began to like myself the more and got a better glimpse of myself and this way things kept moving on. Love is just a feeling of togetherness and openness in your heart… Refreshing ocean feelings: The arrival of joy in life, is attached with somebody that you can call a friend, a true friend at that, the soothing feelings of the oceans crest and tide is what good friends makes you to see and you are better for many things most especially for yourself. When Meganne arrived into my life, she showed me all of those things which I never felt I was missing, she defined friendship and commitment by her attitude and did many things that I cannot remember completely one after the other, to say it well and right, she was good, indeed she was good, viz a viz anything, she was truly good and caring… I became changed and happy. It was like change paid my life a visit and innovation started to live with me, I began to feel sweetness in life again, for a very long time, I found someone who had some good quality of life and character that gelled me, even at home and almost everywhere that I am known there is always this expression and aura of joy which accompanied me anywhere and everywhere that I went, people who knew me in times past have had to come to ask me or to tell me that I have changed, even at home my parent and everyone around kept telling me this and always making me remember that truly something different has happened in my life… A heart that loves is always young… Journals of personality: I really accept to the fact that truly I have changed, people change in life for two major reasons when they get someone of like mind to express their mind and the person sees things from their point of view and they are both carried along with each other in a perfect mutual understanding, which will bring about positive change in them and greater harmony with everyone around. Conversely when the mind is equally expressed, but the opinion and desires are rejected and neglected, this will bring about a negative change resulting in withdrawal, more reserved personality, over seeking solitude and a deep life of seclusion, as it was my case with Wendolene. I forgot to say this, sometimes later, after when I told Wendolene that I was in love with her, which was during the holiday that she turned me down, so when we resumed for ICND 2, we had a particular course which was a 4 unit course, it was concentrated with pure calculation of advanced Fourier and McLaurin series of not less than degree 5, we all sweated it out, of which during the holiday, I have digested much of the content and I was very vast in it, I did not find it difficult as others did, because of the series of work which I have done earlier, so for this I seems to be few miles ahead and because it was a 4 unit course, it was a do or done affairs you just have to pass it in your own best interest. Then one day, the bell of our my house rang, I was in the reading room, so I did not bother to know who it was, then my brother came to me, and told me Wendolene was asking of me, I looked at him as if to say he was sleeping, Wendolene of all person, asking of me, then I told him to allow her into the reading room, then she came in, I was so surprised to see her, I welcomed her and kept quiet waiting for her to state her intention of coming, she then said that she needed my help with the 4 unit courses, I did not hesitate, I took her through the steps one after the other, making her to know the steps and technical procedure, I furtherly went into explaining the application of Fourier series to her and I did this with no offense in my mind, it was a Saturday and she came around 10am, it took almost the whole day, by 5pm we were still on it, giving her series of examples and citations to use and to make her know the different kinds of approach to it, at around 2pm I brought lunch for us and we had lunch, I did not really look at her face or pay attention to her, I don’t suppose she will look at me or pay attention to me either, so after 10 hours in my place we called it a day, that was about the last time that we spent pretty long hours with each other, I know she will never forget that day because I made her much and highly comfortable despite the things that happened in the past, I did not put this in mind, infact I have totally forgotten that, at least I have someone who has now replaced her, though not a relationship but I got a company and I was better than ever… With the day by day activities, I met with Meganne when the need arose, she was just a good friend to me nothing more than this at least from my end… Love is letting go of fear… |
| Re: The Nilotic Lovers (The story of an untold silence)... by Writeditor: 12:41pm On Oct 29, 2014 |
You seem a committed writer - which should see you far. However, one of the first things one notices about your writing is your run-on sentences. You need to work on that consciously since writing good and clear sentences is basic for a writer. |
| Re: The Nilotic Lovers (The story of an untold silence)... by PicanRoxy7: 1:32pm On Nov 01, 2014 |
She had to tell someone: Later I became a bit dis-comfortable with over regularization of Meganne, frequenting me in almost everything, much calls, excess text, only her all over me here and there, I liked her no doubt, but I was not comfortable anymore with her excesses which she seems not to be able to control, she was obviously in love with me, there is no other word for it, she was in love… Sometimes later, I took my time to ask her, don’t you think that you are in love with me, and I gave her reasons for what I said… Since she had to tell someone, she told me, yes I am in love with you, not just today, but since a very long time ago… I felt odd within me, I was not excited at what I just heard neither did I feel special for that, though she did herself a lifetime favor and dropping a burden that could kill faster than anything, even though I did not like what I heard, but at least she has done herself a favor and she had to tell someone, and not just anyone, but the concerned person, me… I appreciated her loving me, at the same time, I made it clear to her that I only loved her as a friend not relationship or any other, infact I said it straight and plain, without using brush to paint the answer that I was not in love with her… How she felt I did not bother to look at her, just to save myself as she saved herself by expressing her mind, I also did the same thing by expressing my mind. I wonder why I am not in love with her, despite the fact that I was so much fond of her and I could tell her many things which I cannot easily share with others, in one effortless act I can make them known to her but still I am not in love with her, I really don’t know what my heart wanted or what my heart found wrong in Meganne, maybe my heart is somewhere where else which I don’t seems to be aware of, but I didn’t seems to worry about that and I also left it there at that time… It is not only necessary to love; it is necessary to say it… Queen or Quine: Sometimes later, Wendolene got to know about Meganne, though this gave me no worry and I never lost sleep over that and I don’t expect her to lose sleep either, even if she does that is nothing for me to meditate upon. She meant much to me back then not anymore, maybe I still love her, I don’t know but as well as it may be said I have escaped her deep thought, although Meganne was in love with me from all indication but I wasn’t in love with her, only that I responded quietly to her and gave her attention, it is only a foolish person that will not respond to love and to that effect I attended to her well and made her to accept herself plus she is aware that I am not in love with her, maybe deep within her, she may be thinking that possibly one day I might eventually fall in love with her, so she continued calmly and of course I don’t expect her to persuade me, however, she gave her all to secure a place in my heart, on the long run, she was able to secure a little space in my heart, the space of friendship, she could not secure the whole heart itself, reason being that that she was the one in love with me and not the other way round, similar to my case that I was the one in love with Wendolene and not Wendolene in love with me. Love is a conflict between reflexes and reflections… Tailored Lies: There were about three things Meganne seems not to know about me consistency, magnetic brains to word and high call back of images and details, these are the things that comprises my psychological make-up, it is of much harm to be discrepant in nature and in discussion not to me, but to such person, if there is anything I hated much it is telling lies, it gives me much feelings of intense dislike, this happens most especially after much warning which was obviously neglected by such person, this was the point where Meganne began to be inconsistency and discrepant in our day to day interaction, to say it plainly, she told too much lies, lying was breathing to her, she found it effortlessly easy to do without any difficulty, forgetting that what goes around will undauntedly come around… What she actually did was this, all the impression about herself that she gave me and some other things which she told me, were all doctored impression and sprinkled with some colorless lies, so anyone she told will not know, because it was colorless, nonetheless I later got to know that they were all lies, yet she keeps acting like she was in all sincerity and I said nothing, though I did not suppose many of those things were lies not until a later time… Love is the only gold… Moon of Iniquity: How hard life could be, how pierced you feel in the heart, when those that you seek comfort from are nothing but dirty hidden fact, I accepted her into my life in an attempt to get over Wendolene but she is ten times an error to use as an attempt to get over emotional distress, she simply was a thorn in the skin. At this point I began to appreciate the kindness and sincerity of Wendolene who told me the real truth that she does not love me and she stood by her words, she did not try to impress me in deceit, she hurt me but it was with the truth, which I now appreciate far better than Meganne. There was a particular joint around wire club that Meganne loves to go to socialize, and I have told her several times to stop going there, that such place is indecent and amoral, infact I told her that if she will not stop going there that she should forgo me as a friend or whatever I meant to her and she promised never to be seen in the place again, for crying out loud, we have the Da Rosella’s place where she could go to while away time, we have some other decent places and good parks in the neighborhood and some lovely eatery where one could go to ease tension, I don’t know the kind of interest she has about this place that could be fully reckoned with. She promised never to go there again from that day onward, and I accepted her word for word, not having any cause to doubt or disbelieve her. The first sigh of love is the last of wisdom… How the balloon of trust busted: One evening as I was walking down home, I went up-town to get some hydraulic oil for the experiment I was doing, and walking past, the open terrace of the wire club, looking a little ahead of me, then I saw Meganne sitting with some set of people chatting with a bottle of cider in hand, in the same place she vouched never to be seen again, I was so shocked and upset that I did not know what best to do, I relaxed, then I hid myself neatly in a place that she could not see me, but I could see her, I then picked my phone dialed her number… [Ringing…] Pican: Hello how are you today? Meganne: I am fine, very much fine what about you? Pican: Yeah I am fine too Meganne: Good to hear Pican: How was your day and how did it go. Meganne: It was a bit hectic but interesting Pican: That is good to hear Meganne: Yeah sure it does Pican: Where are you? [Meanwhile I was seeing her some 50 meters away from where I hid]. Meganne: [Trying to be reluctant in giving me a response]. What did you say? Pican: I know you heard me clearly, you only want to me repeat myself, where are you? [While I was still looking at her, she quickly looked around the whole place to see if I was anywhere within sight, but since I was the only one that could see her from where I stood, so she did not see me, so after that she said] Meganne: I am at home Pican: What? Meganne: Yes I am at home Pican: Are you sure? Meganne: Don’t you trust me. Pican: I did not say I don’t trust you, I only said that are you sure? Meganne: Yes I am sure, infact I am more than 100% sure Pican: Ok. Meganne: What about you Pican: On my way home, returning from up town. Meganne: You must be tired by now? Pican: Not really I still have some energy in my reserve. Meganne: That great. Pican: [Still looking at her] How come I am hearing background noise and sounds of music. Meganne: The guest that came to visit my mummy are discussing with her and the television is on at the same time. Pican: [Aaaaahhhhhh!!!!] Meganne: What is that? Pican: Sorry I exclaimed, what I was holding wanted to slip out of my hand so I had to quickly catch it. [Of which it was the red handed lie that made me exclaimed that much, although something also wanted to fall off from my hand at the same time]… Meganne: Alright Pican: So who is at home with you? Meganne: Infact we are having a full house, aside from the guests that came to visit my mom. Pican: Alright no problem take care of yourself enjoy your evening. Meganne: Thanks you too, or do you feel that I am not at home. Pican: I know you don’t tell lies am I wrong. Meganne: Sure I am telling the truth, I have never told you a lie before in my life… Pican: Alright take care of yourself. Meganne: You too… [I dropped the call]… I cannot imagine what just happened before my very eyes. I came out of where I was and walked up straight to her, when she saw me, it was like ground should open and swallow her, she was ashamed of herself. Nemesis has caught up with you today, look at you, a pro expert liar, she could not look me in the eyes, nor say a word, she was deaf in silence… It is over between you and I, I told her. Quietly I left the place and went home. Love is friendship set on fire… The true cause of crying: Meganne was about the greatest disappoint in my life, and she left me with a sharper pain than Wendolene not because I was in love with her, but because I trusted her too much, I nearly fell in love with her, thankfully I did not, I am happy that I did not, it would have left me in a worse state than this if eventually I was in love with her… I thought I have seen an angel that was welcoming me to a sanctuary, how perfectly wrong I was, sorry was the answer as the story was not a nice one. Meganne fell off, she swindled herself off from the aisle of things and she was lost in the baggage of the past. That was the end of Meganne and her scene faded from that day onward, she was vastly different, but different for the worse. It became clear to me that Meganne went to a public school of liars and she was among their prefect. After this incident my life of seclusion, kicked off again and nothing was going to persuade again me to come out of my shell… We cannot love anybody with whom we never laugh… Fragrance or Freshness: About fragrance and freshness, I had one, but I needed the other, fragrance covers stench and degradation, but freshness is the liquefaction of pure life, it covers nothing, but freshness in itself is pure, real and true. The fragrance I never wanted was Meganne, but the freshness I needed was Wendolene, two opposite things, at opposite ends… To love is natural. To understand the variation of love is wisdom... Lens of Balance: By the reaction of Wendolene I was hurt and emotionally injured no doubt, but much later I realized that she did me a favor by telling me the crystal clear truth, at the earliest possible time and eventually I got healed, truth heals faster than lies… I felt like was there was more to her, some good will was present in her, which my wrong notion of her will not make me see, but even at that, I did not think of anything between us again, to me Wendolene was the last possible option… Over a long period of time, I still kept much to myself and hardly interacted, I came to school alone, went back alone, unlike before that it would be myself and the company of other people, but now I read alone and literally did everything alone, my house was not an exception, I was found to stay longer in the reading room or my room, having little or no interaction. Those who knew me well, must have discovered that there has been a disconnection between Meganne and I, it was so glaring. Gradually I began to heal up again, and I start getting used to few people, it was more of the people at home and few others in practical class… The trend continued slowly in that way, thinking of neither Meganne nor Wendolene and I was alright all by myself, I enjoyed the company of myself so much… I concluded within me that Wendolene was gone and gone for good so her thoughts hardly came into my mind and when it comes, I did not entertain it, and I moved on with life in the playground of solitude and serenity and was perfectly ok with myself, needing no one… What is life without the radiance of Love… |
| Re: The Nilotic Lovers (The story of an untold silence)... by PicanRoxy7: 1:35pm On Nov 01, 2014 |
When pineapple met sweet melon: Almost 3 months later, during break one afternoon I sat on a cement slab by the walkway, I was reading an American Journal of Philosophy, then I heard Pican pronounced with a soft quiet voice, looking back, it was Wendolene smiling at me with in bright waiting sight. Hello how are you doing? She said, I could not answer for a long time, I began to wonder what was wrong with me or what was wrong with her, I know something was wrong with either of us, which I assume to be myself, yeah am doing great what about you, I am fine too she said. I saw you sitting all by yourself and since we are on break, I thought to join you. Of which that was not the first time that she or anyone must have noticed me to sit alone, well, what her wildest reasons were only she knows. Yeah thank you, you are welcome, thank you too she said, I kept quiet because I couldn’t figure out what to say or to produce a topic to serve as discussion, so I kept quiet and she did the same. Still reading through the journal in my hands, I did not feel as if someone was beside me, and I kept on reading. A little later she called my name, I lowered my hands to bring down the book and looked at her to hear her, yes I replied, I want to use this moment to apologize to you, I am very sorry for all that I did to you in the past, I know that I over reacted and I know that I must have hurt you deeply, by my sidelined thinking, it later occurred to me that I should not have treated you that way at all, you don’t deserve to be treated like that, you only said that you were in love me and you meant no harm, I should not have gone to that extent in reacting and the things that I said, please find a place in your heart to forgive me, I am really sorry… When she finished speaking, I said, Wendolene, there is no need for forgiveness because you did not wrong me, there is no offense in expressing your mind, you did it sincerely and that is about the best thing anyone is expected to do. For me, there is no hard feeling, and it’s nothing personal, it is just one of those things, it could have been anyone, so please don’t take it personal there is nothing to it, and I am not offended… Alright thank you she said, then I smiled and said yeah its’ one of those things. We remained a little longer in silence, later I told her I wanted to start going to the class, so I left her sitting there, and went to the class, even though the break was not over, I just felt like leaving for reasons that I don’t know, I just felt like leaving and I left. Real love stories never have ending… Intricate Network: After the incidence of that day, when Wendolene apologized to me, I thought of what must have made her to come an do such, I mean I see no reason why should come to apologize. It was so obvious to everyone that Meganne and I are no longer in touch and I presume Wendolene saw and knew it too, but I don’t suppose that would be a reason why she came to me to apologize. About a week later, I was at home then my phone rang, it was Wendolene calling me, I got confused and didn’t know whether or not if I should pick it, I left the phone to ring and ring until it stopped ringing I did not pick it, it rang again, still thinking whether I should pick it or not, then I did, hello how are you I said, I am fine what about you, sure am ok too, alright, I just wanted to say hi and to wish you a lovely weekend she said, thank you so much I appreciate I said, then I dropped the call. To tell the truth I got a little dis-comfortable with her sudden change, it was too fast and too glaring. Later while I was reflecting on what she said, “I just wanted to say hi and to wish you a lovely weekend”, who told her that I was not going to have a lovely weekend, or what was my lovely weekend going to do for her, as if my having a lovely weekend will buy her a new dress, I did not even worry myself about her, deep within me I don’t want her to call me or to cross my path, because I don’t want anyone to emotionally hurt me again, no, not this time… Even with all that I said, it did not end there, she brought herself closer and she tried her best to reunite our broken friendship, even though she did not say it, actions we know speaks louder than words and I also gave her a little challenge before responding to her, realistically speaking I didn’t want her friendship, let her just be and let me be too, I have had enough from her and the ones that I have had will do, and a little more will not be needed… Notwithstanding, over time we became closer, and we seems to be able to start our old friendship, starting again with her was really hard on me, but this time around she has changed infact far better from what I knew her to be, and I decided to relate freely with her… Women are like shadows you follow them they run away, but when you turn back they follow you… Bright green light: From all indications Wendolene was up to something our frequent eye contact and her friendlier attitude meant something which would be worth exploring and knowing. Before this time, I have been emotionally balanced and could relate with her as friend without having any sore feelings from the past, she was as good as a male friend and I thought nothing to her in terms of love or relationship. But you know what  It did not end there, it was the first step in the journey of a thousand miles, at some point later, her tenderness and concern began to drop some reflective thoughts in me, what was she up to, why is she more nice, why is she wanting my attention, I began to get some feelings of attaching importance to me from her which I never got before not even by mistake, back then her eyes were dry of care and love, but now her heart poured out affection and lasting concern. For a long period of time, I did not understand what her overtures meant and for the second time in life, I began to feel something for her, after when all my desires at first have taken sleeping pills and promised never to wake up and some of them have travelled miles away and promised never to return, they began to wake and arrived back and I began to see Wendolene again as the beauty call I met 3 years ago on the bus by the subway, she was now longing to be a deeper friend, sharing her mind with me, and telling me all the things in her mind freely and unrestrained. I toggled my subconscious so much and I worried much, why on earth should someone be like Wendolene, she was the one who killed me, and now she is trying to wake me, what does she have in mind, why can’t she live me in my unfamiliar corner of life, it gave me conflicting emotional message, I wanted to get lost into thin air, but my feelings drew me back, my love for her calmed me down, my need of her comforted me, my thought of her brought sunshine into my heart and I began to love her again… If only I had my way, I would have shown her some pepper of love, but I could not because some of the pepper of love has already fell into my own eyes… At the pale end, it was so glaring that Wendolene was in love, not only in love but deeply in love, as if that was not enough she was also lost in love, with somebody called Pican, how she fell in love, I do not know. The human heart, at whatever age, opens to the heart that opens in return… We only live twice: By now graduation was approaching, the end of things will fully arrive. There is only one life, but we live twice in it, the former is when you are not in love and the latter when in love, It was high time for me to start living on the other side of the life, but deep within me I dreaded telling Wendolene what I felt again because she has found solace in me and I feared shattering her emotion again and that may likely leave me in a neuronal disorder if she gets disappointed in me again, so for this reason I kept quiet, for several weeks I was silent and denied myself of the true inward affection which I have towards someone who has been long waiting for me to approach her, from what I could read in her eyes and feelings, she is waiting to tell me an infilling Yes, the untold Yes of yesteryear, the Yes of a lifetime, only that she wanted me to ask, she is really pouring out herself into me, she has been blown away by the gale of my love… My heart is given to you, give me your heart too, then we lock them up together and throw away the key… Ruin, road to transformation: On a certain day, we decided to meet at the shelters close to the Plate River stream to complete the editing of our project, we soon arrived and we began with the editing of the chapter 3 of her project, we both had a copy in our hands, and we were reading it aloud together and dotting and noting every errors, we sat facing each other with a table in between us where we kept our bags on either side, so we read along and read on. Some moments later I didn’t hear her voice only mine, but I did not look up, I felt she missed out the lines and I read on believing that she will catch up with the line, for a little more while she did not, then I paused and raised up my head to look at her, behold, she has been staring at me since, our eyes met sharply and I took down my eyes, we both did not say anything, I looked at her the second time, her eyes were still fastened at me and she will not take it off, this second time I did not take off my eyes, I looked on and she also did, for like 10 seconds I could not withstand it, so I still took off my eyes, from what I read from her eyes, she was in some kind of chronic trauma, I did not dare to ask what was wrong because I knew that I was the one, the day was now fully come, my heart began to beat fast like a thief who is on a robbery mission and similar to the time upon which I first set my eyes on her, I know something has to happen, and it must be today, either I live now to die later or I die now to live later, the choice was mine, then I decided to die now and live later, of a truth I was scared and I couldn’t imagine making her unhappy, I even felt I should ask her what was wrong, but something told me to shut up and unveil my mind. We sat in silence through the next 18 minutes with no one breaking the silence, to my greatest amazement she was still staring at me. By then I became highly uncomfortable. Then I took the fearful courage, let the worst happen and I will live thereafter… Where love reign impossibilities may be attained… |
| Re: The Nilotic Lovers (The story of an untold silence)... by PicanRoxy7: 1:46pm On Nov 01, 2014 |
The waiting Rose pink: Clearing out my throat, I did not practice anything in my head, I just gave those words as they were printed in my heart: Wendolene, I don’t intend to hurt you again by saying this, but love unexpressed is a crime against the heart. When I first met you, I fell in love with you, which I made known to you back then, Day by day, you were the syrup which I needed, I needed you more than any known thing, I wanted you close, I needed you to start living on the inside of me, many times passed, much moments rolled away but all were to naught, and later my desire failed. It was a hard time, starting life all over from track zero, building myself afresh and training my mind all over, it was no easy task, I started life in its neutral center without you, and over long chains of untwisted time I was able to gather myself from those seasons of brokenness, and the life started again without you and without your thought, I began to live, and believed you were lost and gone forever to be off my imagination, but today here you are in the front of me, looking depressed, depleted and despaired, what may I do to make you happy, the only one person I love… I never thought this day may come, but as fate would have it, it has come, upon the first time that I sighted your unfamiliar person back then on that bus, something opened in me, which could not be closed, all the transmitters within me accepted you, and ever since you became a member of my life. I have concealed this for the past 3 years and carried on with life, I thought what I felt was gone, but I was wrong, it was actually growing stronger underneath and now it has surfaced, it is hard to tell your mind to stop loving someone when your heart still does… [At this point I closed my eyes and said the next lines of words]… I would that you know this day…. That I still love you, and to make you aware that I don’t find it easy to stop loving you, I might not be able to say all these things again to you, even as I am saying this, I am not accepting myself, but then, I must follow my heart, I cannot deceive myself, you are the only thing I need, yes you, nobody else, only you… Wendolene just love me and the world is mine… Other men said that they have seen angel, but I have seen thee and thou art enough, true love cannot be found where it does not truly exist, nor can it be hidden where it truly does, you fill my heart with love, and my entire world with happiness. You completely blew my mind and I fell in love with you, but you walked away, how I felt was like a precious wound, a heart break that you cannot let go because it hurts too good… By now I opened my eyes to look at her, her head was down sank into her palms and her eyes were also closed, now that my eyes were open I did not close it again and I said the last thing I has in mind: I want you to love me according to the bounties of the presiding love in your heart, I would that we will be for each other, with nothing in-between us and to love each other until the end of post certainty… We were world apart but now we are together, it unbelievable but it was meant to be, when and where and how it’s all destiny, and since this is destined to happen, why don’t we create our own world, our little home, just you and I, no one else, when you walk into my arms cradled by the moonlight, the whole universe will rejoice. Put your hands into mine, let them be mine, my heart is gone because of you and all of these feels so new, our eyes are lost in each other, our path are bound together… Love me for a reason, let the reason be love… Having your love is like finding one answer to all of my prayers… When I finished saying this, I felt ataraxic and placid, I did not think of what may happen next, maybe I wasn’t expecting anything, but some moments later a reply safely arrived. To be able to say how much you love is to love but little… The un-narrated truth: [Her head still down and she would not look up she said]. I fear that I may ever say this to anyone but I must tell you, you see the last person that I loved hurt me to my soul, we were together for long and from nowhere he told me it was over with no reason attached to it, I trusted him with everything and loved him so much, I have never felt so low and stupid and humiliated in my life. And for you, I told myself not to think about you, but I couldn’t because I do all the time, I have been running from something that has already happened to me and I am saying that I have fell in love with you Pican Roxy and I am saying that I hope that I am not in this alone. No you are not, you are not in it alone I said… Love is one thing you cannot keep to yourself… Tune of the Lily: She raised her head and looked at me with a dull glittering smile, I saw the full set of her smooth paved teeth for the first time ever, she gave me a toast of peck on my soft dimpled cheek and with that it became it, the desire of the years was fully come. She slowly added, Pican I love you, and you mean so much to me, I have no option than to accept you, I am very in love with you, I can’t hold it any more, it has been bubbling inside of me hurting and killing me, I have never wanted to tell you but today I have, you are a kind person, about the sweetest person that I have ever known, how glad and happy I am to be in your caring arms, I could doze off in your broad arms knowing that I am tucked into safety, When I am with you, the only place I want to be is closer… Today I accept the saying that “Love was not put there to stay, love is not love until you give it away” and today Pican Roxy, you have me, and you have all of my love… Loving you makes me feel like nothing can go wrong, you are all to the moment for me… Love is life, and if you miss love, you miss life… Emotional Intimacy: I began loving you, since that day when you helped me with my CRP 278 assignment, the 4 unit course remember?, and ever since, I have fell in love with you, but I did not know it was love, you contaminated my whole nature and everything in me, and I could not help but to think about you, the thought of you never left me, I tried to take it off but I could not, it was beyond me, I thought I was feeling this way was because we met more frequent, but later I got to know that it was not the reason, but subconsciously I was in love, the full taste of my best food were found in you, you are the appetite I use when eating, without your thought, I could really not eat well… I know it may seem strange and shocking for you to hear me say this, but “If I could give you one thing in life, I would give you the ability to see through my eyes, only then you will realize how special you are to me” A hundred hearts will be too few to carry all my love for you. My long hidden feelings has now grown into a fully matured tree of the desire of you and a great love for you, and now my affection for you that flew away has flew back to you Pican… Tears began to drop from her eyes like rain, she was crying like anything, she has concealed her emotion for too long, she was in the severe pain of an untold love. As she said all these a marine golden smile fell out of my mouth, and I smiled in English, I was in a new world, some breeze of fulfilment calmed my nerve, I was overwhelmed and over happy, at long last invisibility became visible, my all long desire in the palm of my hand. She continued, I don’t know why it took me long to accept you, I don’t know why I did this to myself and also to you, I am sorry to have strained your pure and undiluted affection, just that I also needed to be sure that your feelings were true and not that you were desperate to have me or your over heated desire, please accept my warm apology, I give to you the gift of my affection, I love you I always will… Love is shown in your deed not in your words. Beyond the surface: I would that I may come up awake but it wasn’t anything dream, it was Wendolene right in front of me still by the Plate River shelter, when I came to my full self, recovering from the awe, an inner peace came upon me accompanied by loving calmness and so it became it, it was Wendolene who now is mine…  As the orange sun smiled at us that afternoon, and we cooled off into the evening with a frost chilled bottles of Tonic Soda, and for the first time ever we sat by the Stream of Plate River and watched the sunset together… Everything is clearer when you are in love… Wings of Decisions: Over seasons and times we were always together, and now on the ecstasies of satisfaction. Later I went on a duty call over Orange 10 base camp after we acquired our SAT and 1st degree. Afterward all grandaunts in my set were given a free tour cruise adventure ticket, over the river Nile, which included us. On the cruise tour, we sat by each other, Wendolene was curled in my arms and she was always felt within me. Then I took that lifetime decision of what I wanted… I knelt in the cruise in the middle of the river Nile, looked straight into her, eyes and said: Wendolene, will you marry me, will you be my shelter, will you be my wife, will you be the mother of my unborn children, will you be my beauty, will you spend the rest of your life with me, will you be my Beloved Queen…. Before I could think of what next to say, she lifted me and drew me closer with tears of joy littering her eyes, and she said, yes I will marry you, I love you so much more than I ever thought it would be possible.…There is nothing more that I desire than to be called by your Tyndale name and I had love to answer it for the rest of my life, maybe I cannot wait to be called Wendolene Pican Roxy… Love is not what the mind thinks, but what the heart feels… The Tooting Clarinet: The dialogue formed a little scene and pulled minimal spectators, everyone jingled claps for us and they all shouted. Hurray! Hurray!! Hurray!!! To the Nilotic Lovers, another man said, in love over the River Nile… May you enjoy life to its peak, and may your Nilotic love last unto the end of time… Wendolene said to me, may I ask you a question, and I replied please do, she looked straight into my eyes, and looking back into her eyes, I saw purity, then she asked me; “What kind of wedding do you want”, still looking into her cold blue eyes then I said “The type that will make you my wife…” Love does not die, it is a living thing. Dancing into wedlock: 13 months afterwards we were joined together in wedlock and we were tagged the Nilotic Lovers… The wedding went solemn, you know what, it was a cruise trip wedding over the same River Nile in an Ocean Liner called Ling Po… Joy filled the whole life on the day Wendolene Welch Wellington lawfully became the beta half of Pican Roxy when they took both took the lifetime journey of commitment to one another, the wedding was glamorous and scintillating, you had love to see it, where were you…This was how Wendolene finally wedded Pican… and they became one, on the day they both danced into wedlock, and to the end of time so they told each other… To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others… The Style to fly: Wendolene is the reason for everything in me without which I may not be this happy, love cannot describe it, passion cannot stand next to it, ecstasies may not suit it, beauty may not magnify it, fun cannot tell it all, desire cannot help in explaining it all, it is called A Lifetime feeling of Bliss, the lifetime feelings of Love and laughter and this is our Style to fly… Some love lasts a lifetime, true love lasts forever. Adding fun to life: You may not know what it feels, how it feels, where it feels and when it feels, when there is a single key that can open all the doors into your life, the lifetime key of love, which in turn gives you refreshing ocean feelings and then you will better for it, you will be better for you, you will be better for the person with whom you are in love, you will be better for the those within and without, and you will be better for the whole life, at times like that, you feel some cooling fresh sensation which nothing else but love can yield, just then you began to live… and you are adding fun to life and life is adding fun to you… Oh! Wendolene Oh! Pican Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eyes… The Nilotic Life: You know that feelings when everything seems right that you don’t have to worry about tomorrow or yesterday, but you feel safe and you know you are doing the best you can, there is a word for that feelings it is called Love… You know that feelings when everything is going on well around you, when you feel as if you just began to live just few moments ago, when it seems as if you are in love with everyone, it is called Harmony… And it is for everyone in my neighborhood where I come from, the people of Plate River… Love for Wendolene and I, seems to be different from other people, for us, it was all consuming, it was all breathe to life… If smiles were dollars I tell you, Wendolene and I would have had millions, we love each other so much and we smile very much with each other, she is my twin flame, a person of my substance and her eyes of purity watching over me… At last we were together and the life began… we found this cute little place, we didn’t have the whole world but we had each other, we are more in love than ever… Love makes you free from all the weight and pain of life… THE END 1 Like |
| Re: The Nilotic Lovers (The story of an untold silence)... by PicanRoxy7: 1:53pm On Nov 01, 2014 |
Thank you for reading, looking forward to getting feedback from you... Attached at the foot of this post is a simple feedback form kindly download, fill and send to pican.roxy@gmail.com, and you will get another free stories of Pican Roxy sent to your mail... Other titles of Pican Roxy: The Wedding Cantata: The standalone story of a colorful celebration of love, you had love to read… A sequel to the Nilotic Lovers, the unabridged wedding ceremony and honeymoon cantata of Bro. Paul & Sis. Olive which took place somewhere on the inside of Yola, sometimes in July 2010. The Nilotic Lovers (The Chase): The full and intriguing story of how I met Beloved Queen back then in Plate River, and how it came into reality, a story that its print cannot be easily erased on the sand of the heart… Aromatic dews of the Spring: Sequel to the Nilotic Lovers, the breathe taking story of the five years of Engagement of the Nilotic Lovers in the inter-land hills of transparency Sweden when they finally found solace in each other, how the heat and furnace of circumstances brought the best out of them like raw purified gold, how they circumvented dispute and carried on with life. Touché… Transformed Gold: A short abstract story of a beautiful base metal who resides in the industrial city of life how she met with Change the alchemist in the Laboratory of procedures who change her world for the best… Dedicated to all chemist and all chemistry students… The Guarded Lone: The Introspective life story of a friend (Aaronhall Smith) who found himself different in a world strongly dominated by people of salient nature, of how he strived through the rancor of life, how he thrived by silence and solitude and how he finally rose into the limelight of quest and then to the Hall of fame, on his presided side of life, on the long run, how he won the Ivan name contest the first and the best of its kind, a deep touching must read… The season of the midnight: A portion of the true life story of Boscopan Nessi of Taiwan. When desire failed him in life, when nothing but time could heal him, how he almost sank into a lifetime of deep prolonged depression & seclusion. How he finally picked life afresh from it very center and redefined himself from the inside and the amazing things that happened thereafter in Wentworth Coast of Taipei… Africana: You need to travel, to see places, to see people, to know places, to know people, to see nature, to hear nature, to see the pangs of people, to see the naked life. Come along with me as I take you through the suffocating story of Africana, the story of my town, in the Mid-west Orange of the Southern Pacific bay of the city of Leone. Life in Africana was wild, I lived on independence layout, Africana was a Centre of high crime and high level security robbery…
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| Re: The Nilotic Lovers (The story of an untold silence)... by Nobody: 3:45pm On Nov 01, 2014 |
Startd readn 2hrz ago...so far so gud,I ve neva read anytn so captivating nd fascinating lyk diz...Thumbs up man nd I luv d fact dt u r nt afta comments b4 updating.God bless you for sharing diz piece. |
| Re: The Nilotic Lovers (The story of an untold silence)... by MissTutu(f): 8:01pm On Nov 01, 2014 |
Ahhhh!this is simply ah-mazing. |
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