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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / 5 Reasons Relationships End Faster Than Expected (1468 Views)
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5 Reasons Relationships End Faster Than Expected by NaijaKnight(m): 9:19pm On Oct 31, 2014 |
These days, it’s pretty much commonplace to hear that Akin and Anu have started dating, you get all excited because finally Akin has dropped the “forever alone” toga to be with a reasonable woman. A couple of football matches and Friday nights later, you turn up at your fave lounge with your boys only to hear the latest that Akin has yet again returned to claim his shirt at “singlesville” It’s alarming the lifespan of relationships these days. Relationships be like episodes of Jerry Springer; they start off calm with a sweet prelude then explode into a scene straight out of WWE. So like, I’m just here to educate y’all on what exactly makes relationships end faster than Ned Starks role in Game of Thrones. You better listen. I shall say this only once. Una no just fit Do I honestly look like I care that she liked all your IG pictures in one fell swoop? So what she looks like steamy hot macaroni with a swoosh of gravy sauce and chunks of meat, you should not ignore that part of your brain that tells you, it’s not going to work. Word is some couples won’t ever be compatible. It’s like eba and indomie sauce fam, it don’t just work. Be there telling me ‘opposites attract’ why you no just marry broom? Cheating This one is clearer than the outfit Rihanna wore to those awards. You have a history of jumping into the sack with every Rasheedat, Chekube and Laide and yet you get into a relationship expecting some form of fidelity #NoBank. It’s like they’ve plastered your eye with blindness fa. Look, it’s either you drop that unfaithful cloak when you get in a relationship. I don’t think it’s really that hard to keep your schlong short, ladies closing your legs (if that’s your desired style) is also not so tough. Making a commitment to someone means “I shall be faithful” and if that’s missing, tell me in less than 100 words how trust can exist? Romance stops Some of you behave like cars, once you get to your destination, you turn off your engine and just park. Nah fam, relationships ain’t that way. You gotta keep the flame burning. Those things you did while you were chasing her, you actually multiply. Don’t say “oh, she’s mine now, can’t be taking her to coldstone on weekends” You forget that part of the reasons she said yes was cos’a your attitude to her. You change that and she starts missing it. She starts missing the dating scene where she was the cynosure of all eyes. What was originally fiery becomes a candle in the wind. If you don’t keep shit fresher than Banky W’s beard trims, you’ll hit a snag sooner than later. Wack Sex Remember how in your single days you bragged about being able to go hours without tiring? But now here you are, in a relationship but you cum faster than a debit alert notification. I’m not saying you must be on that porn level, I mean (an aside: they pause that shit for the actors to regenerate), but keep the bed space interesting. Better stop believing twitter and facebook, sex isn’t always steamy, in fact it’s disgusting sometimes. However, if you’re not giving her good, you better talk about it before she talks to someone else…who gives her a listening ear, shoulder to cry on and a penis to sit on. Irreconcilable differences Honestly, I don’t know what this one means. I think this is the reason you give when you really don’t have a reason to give. Maybe like you caught your boyfriend kissing your remote control passionately one hot afternoon, you know how you can’t tell people that kinda story so it automatically becomes “irreconcilable” Let’s just say that when an issue becomes too somehow to share and leades to a break up, its ok to categorize it under the above. See what I did there? “Under the above” There are lots of other reasons why relationships end. From the downright ridiculous like “he peed standing up, her friend was wayyyy cuter” to the what the Bleep “I discovered I prefer slim to fat women” Others include: He wasn’t ambitious; he didn’t look like he had potential. Of course because you were blind when you entered ba? My family didn’t like him, the dog barked every time he visited.Yessir you’re a winzard Let’s not forget the one very common but hardly spoken “he was wasting time and didn’t propose” So that’s it guys, don’t be shy here, let’s share. What were the reasons for your break-ups? culled from TNC.com |
Re: 5 Reasons Relationships End Faster Than Expected by Nobody: 9:22pm On Oct 31, 2014 |
Lol mine is wen she is boring, too demanding.... I end it sharply |
Re: 5 Reasons Relationships End Faster Than Expected by Infomizer(m): 10:34pm On Oct 31, 2014 |
The flame fizzles out for one/both of us...mostly! Distance... Prophecy (definitely not from my end!) Ex calling back...(she said they had been through a lot together and I was the angel she didn't know). |
Re: 5 Reasons Relationships End Faster Than Expected by Agybabe(f): 10:41pm On Oct 31, 2014 |
What is this one even saying? |
Re: 5 Reasons Relationships End Faster Than Expected by NaijaKnight(m): 10:44pm On Oct 31, 2014 |
Agybabe:which one? my cannan city sista, it's one thing to read and it's another to comprehend. |
Re: 5 Reasons Relationships End Faster Than Expected by Agybabe(f): 10:47pm On Oct 31, 2014 |
NaijaKnight:na essay? Blunders and too long an epistle. Hehehe...just kidding |
Re: 5 Reasons Relationships End Faster Than Expected by NaijaKnight(m): 10:56pm On Oct 31, 2014 |
Agybabe:if I didn't know better I'd say you saw blunders but then again, If you ain't used to reading don't 'kid'. |
Re: 5 Reasons Relationships End Faster Than Expected by nairalife2013(m): 2:31am On Nov 01, 2014 |
Infomizer:I hav always thot myself a wizard in reading and comprehension but, to be honest, after doing this one d hundredth time, infomizer dear i must tell u, I end up even more confused. I hardly can tel weda itz a poem or a prose or both nor know d meaning of d phrases as should be d case. |
Re: 5 Reasons Relationships End Faster Than Expected by Infomizer(m): 2:47am On Nov 01, 2014 |
nairalife2013: Lol The op asked us to share the various reasons we've had to experience break ups...That was what necessitated my yarns...There are four reasons in all...geddit now? |
Re: 5 Reasons Relationships End Faster Than Expected by nairalife2013(m): 2:50am On Nov 01, 2014 |
Infomizer:k. Got it. Thx |
Re: 5 Reasons Relationships End Faster Than Expected by OgbeniVan: 12:23pm On Nov 01, 2014 |
This one too was copied from thenakedconvos.com. This is somebody's intellectual property that you have claimed as yours . If you don't write the source of the article, it's plagiarism. |
Re: 5 Reasons Relationships End Faster Than Expected by NaijaKnight(m): 5:02pm On Nov 01, 2014 |
OgbeniVan: take a chill pill pal. noted! + it's not that serious ![]() |
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