jiggalo:
google Incubus and Succubus. You will find the answer . self-service is bad.

Self service is real!

Incubus and succubus are inventions to explain a very natural release of semen to those primitive morons who did not realise it is natural. Incubbus/Succubus, come on, it is 2015!

Misogynist2014:
So dumb....

The truth is bitter...

Look at what your god did to Mary.. Why she was asleep he released his holiness inside her virgin vi jay jay.

Now he does not want awon boys to release tension, so he can come and suvk our kini at night and give us wet dreams..

Your god too like toto and prick business.. Haba..!!!!

Techniques

Masturbation involves touching, pressing, rubbing or massaging a person's genital area, either with the fingers or against an object such as a pillow; inserting fingers or an object into the vagina or anus (see anal masturbation); and stimulating the penis or vulva with an electric vibrator, which may also be inserted into the vagina or anus. It may also involve touching, rubbing, or pinching the nipples or other erogenous zones while masturbating. Both sexes sometimes apply lubricating substances to intensify sensation.

Reading or viewing pornography, sexual fantasy, or other erotic stimuli may lead to a desire for sexual release such as by masturbation.

Some people get sexual pleasure by inserting objects, such as urethral sounds, into the urethra (the tube through which urine and, in men, semen, flows),[12] a practice known as urethral play or "sounding".[13] Other objects such as ball point pens and thermometers are sometimes used, although this practice can lead to injury and/or infection.[14] Some people masturbate by using machines that simulate intercourse.

Men and women may masturbate until they are close to orgasm, stop for a while to reduce excitement, and then resume masturbating. They may repeat this cycle multiple times. This "stop and go" build-up, known as "edging," can achieve even stronger orgasms.[15] Rarely, people quit stimulation just before orgasm to retain the heightened energy that normally comes down after orgasm.[16]

All religions have their spiritual side.

Unfortunately they ALL have the NON spiritual but cultural influences that give them their stupid taboos.

Self service is normal and natural. If not VERY excessive does no harm whatsoever.

They old joke says (with a strong element of truth) that 98% of men admit they do it! The other 2% are liars!

GooseBaba:


The truth is bitter...

Look at what your god did to Mary.. Why she was asleep he released his holiness inside her virgin vi jay jay.

No he does not want awon boys to release tension, so he can come and suvk our kini at night and give us wet dreams..

Your god too like toto and prick business.. Haba..!!!!

*faint*

Na small boy dey write this thing ?

GooseBaba:


The truth is bitter...

Look at what your god did to Mary.. Why she was asleep he released his holiness inside her virgin vi jay jay.

Now he does not want awon boys to release tension, so he can come and suvk our kini at night and give us wet dreams..

Your god too like toto and prick business.. Haba..!!!!

Really Really Awful... How can one have sexual encounter with a woman that's asleep?

He'll be jailed on charges of rape and child abandonment if the ICJ existed then.

But seriously o, the bible said God made Adam from the dust, why did he not dash Mary a magical pregnancy? He had to fvck his way into her veejay while she was asleep, and called it immaculate conception.

Okay...

Konteenew!!!

i salute ur courage bro! Anoda issue is pornography...these two tinz goes 2geda n i can testify by xperience that theses "acts" can lead to inexplicable setbacks in Life n Destiny...God bless u,...leave the Doubters!

plaetton:

And all this vast real estate was created for the exclusive pleasure of sheep herders and selfservicers like you to enjoy your microsecond life?
What a waste.

Rather, it suddenly popped out of nothingness and emptiness for selfservicers like you to freely enjoy your thing while you live then die to go into non existence.

Tragic.

Realjude:
Does it mean that masturbation is still a sin when u don't have contact with any opposite sex, how?

Let's assume u had no nude pix nor imaginery picture in mind, will u still do it if God opens ur eyes to see that Jesus is standing b4 you, will u still go ahead and do it.

All forms of uncleanliness, inordinate affection,
self gratification and defilement is unholy. And I tell you, if u still have a sensitive conscience u will fill less joyful in presence of God after indulging.


But God is there to help us all from any form of satanic stronghold. Once u diligently seek him

edited

Systeme101:
i salute ur courage bro! Anoda issue is pornography...these two tinz goes 2geda n i can testify by xperience that theses "acts" can lead to inexplicable setbacks in Life n Destiny...God bless u,...leave the Doubters!

Dude, create your own thread let's banter away.

If Nigerians masturbated more, maybe they wouldn't always be raping children.

MissMeiya:
If Nigerians masturbated more, maybe they wouldn't always be raping children.

Good point

Judas2013:

Techniques

Masturbation involves touching, pressing, rubbing or massaging a person's genital area, either with the fingers or against an object such as a pillow; inserting fingers or an object into the vagina or anus (see anal masturbation); and stimulating the penis or vulva with an electric vibrator, which may also be inserted into the vagina or anus. It may also involve touching, rubbing, or pinching the nipples or other erogenous zones while masturbating. Both sexes sometimes apply lubricating substances to intensify sensation.

Reading or viewing pornography, sexual fantasy, or other erotic stimuli may lead to a desire for sexual release such as by masturbation.

Some people get sexual pleasure by inserting objects, such as urethral sounds, into the urethra (the tube through which urine and, in men, semen, flows),[12] a practice known as urethral play or "sounding".[13] Other objects such as ball point pens and thermometers are sometimes used, although this practice can lead to injury and/or infection.[14] Some people masturbate by using machines that simulate intercourse.

Men and women may masturbate until they are close to orgasm, stop for a while to reduce excitement, and then resume masturbating. They may repeat this cycle multiple times. This "stop and go" build-up, known as "edging," can achieve even stronger orgasms.[15] Rarely, people quit stimulation just before orgasm to retain the heightened energy that normally comes down after orgasm.[16]

Or they COULD simply jerk off!

SWG1:


Let's assume u had no nude pix nor no imaginery picture in ur mind. will u still do it if God opens ur eyes to see that Jesus is standing b4 you and the holyspirit in you (temple of lord) is aggrieved telling you keep away from every form of uncleanliness and inordinate affection. will u still go ahead?

self gratification and defilement is unholy. And I tell you, if u still have a sensitive conscience u will fill less joyful in presence of God after indulging.


But God is there to help us all from any form of satanic stronghold. Once u diligently seek him

They Lord created us as we are including the sexual side to us. All this CULTURAL anti self stimulation is IRRELEVANT to God and Man.

Let us read our Holy Books looking for the Divine message contained within and NOT looking for NORMAL HUMAN THINGS to condemn so that those hypocrites can try to feel 'Holier than thou'!

VivaLaFrans:
I'd start with my story.

In 2004, (13 yrs old) I had a dream, I saw two paths and heard a voice saying to me, ''Follow the one on the right'', I woke up. The next night, I dreamt again and saw myself urinating pure blood. In those years I used to hear the voice of the Lord in my dreams. I was filled with the holy spirit and full of life and unending joy. I used to be very bright in school and lovable, with favour from everywhere. I always came up with a first position in class. After the second dream, I told my mum and she said I should pray. I never understood the meaning of those dreams, neither did she.

The following week, on that fateful day when I was taking my bath, I was washing my genital with my soft sponge when I experience the first orgasm of my life. There was an expulsion of semen and I enjoyed the feeling. From that day until earlier this year, I wasted my life.

I masturbated on daily basis. I started isolating myself from people and began to keep my secrets to myself. I wasn't getting close to my mom like I used to do. I began to have disturbing dreams like being chased by a cattle herd, being chased and caught by a dog, being mutilated with a sword, finding my self in a toilet doing nothing or in a pit struggling to come out, I experienced Murauding spirit, being pressed and disturbed in my sleep. Sometimes I would hear footsteps and sudden shouts of people running past our premises when Iam asleep, and lots more that I cant mention cuz of time and space.

During this period, I was still hearing the voice of the Lord in dreams telling me to rise up now and pray for mercy. One day, at about 12:30 am, I dreamt and saw myself in a white garment stained with black gutter water and stinking, and I was standing near a toilet and weeping for help. Suddenly I saw three people in pure white garments, came with a basin of water. Two started washing me while one stood and watched. On the process, the water got stained by the black colored gutter on my garment, the people pursed and the water became pure again, then they resumed. After this dream, I knew I was restored, but I failed to pray for the spirit of Holiness to posses me, and I went back to masturbation again. My spirit gradually accepted it over the years and couldn't fight against it anymore.

In 2006, my those dreams became to manifest. I dreamt that my garment was stollen by someone, and physically I lost my joy in the presence of God. I dreamt that I and my classmates were climbing a hill and I was slipping down while they were near to the top of the hill. This happened when I started gaining 6th, 7th position in class. I began to loose friends and started hating everyone. I found it difficult to smile ands this caused wrinkles on my forehead. I began to loose divine favour and wasn't lovable anymore. I can't narrate everything here cuz my story is too long.

In conclusion, most of my mates are in the Universities or graduates, but I thank God for my present academic qualification and the Pastor He had used to restore me back into life. I am happy with my life now and would never go back to iniquity anymore, in Jesus' name, Amen.

Please if you are a parent reading this, alsways get closer to your children to know what they are going through especially during puberty. Ask them questions and educate them about the destruction caused by premarital sex and masturbation. They are innocent children. Do not allow your little cute baby to loose his life because you are too busy to teach them the bible and educate them about misfortunes caused by premarital sex.
When I say life, i dont mean their breath, I mean their ability and youthful integrity to do exploits in their youthful age. Do not joke with the spiritual life of your children especially at puberty, please.
Iniquity can make someone to go extra miles he is not supposed to go before fulfilling destiny. The girl or boy you are having sex with might have contacted millions of negative spirits from others and transfer it to you via premarital sex. Sex is a bond. Masturbation is a token to program your future negatively, but there is nothing impossible for God to do.

If you are like me, then remember that God is the creator of everything. He can make you as pure as an Infant again if only you will accept Jesus into your life. Confess your sins and ask the holyspirit to come back to you again. Find a true church and get baptized, study your bible, and you will fulfill your God-given destiny. Do not be discouraged. There is still time. Always pray for God's favor to follw you wherever you go. God bless you.

self servicing is my greatest problem nw

gymnasium:



self servicing is my greatest problem nw

Its not a problem. Relax and enjoy and when you get a decent gf she will take care of these urges for you.

Bridgetown:


Your write up is touching but it seemed your little addiction of self service also help you to overcome some many things in life that you didn't take notice of.
From the way you were dreaming at your early age even before the self service episode people like you can easily grown up to become a serial killer or a soporific rappist. From my analogy and deduction self service actually distracted you from becoming a monster.

This is soooooooooooo unfair yet flipping funny.

The most hilarious part of this story had to be "[/b] WHILE WASHING MY GENITALS INHAD MY FIRST ORGASM[b] what kind of silly lie is that...just from washing your deek you bust a nut..without any thoughts or mental task...nonsense talk here

Trust me, even the child molesters masturbate more than the average teenage boy...they are just sick

MissMeiya:
If Nigerians masturbated more, maybe they wouldn't always be raping children.

GooseBaba:


The truth is bitter...

Look at what your god did to Mary.. Why she was asleep he released his holiness inside her virgin vi jay jay.

Now he does not want awon boys to release tension, so he can come and suvk our kini at night and give us wet dreams..

Your god too like toto and prick business.. Haba..!!!!

If ud said this 500years ago, the pope would have personally supervised ur roasting at the stake. This is beyond blasphemous!

duni04:

If ud said this 500years ago, the pope would have personally supervised ur roasting at the stake. This is beyond blasphemous!

Fuvk the pope.....

What about his god..? Can't he speak for himself.. Or he can only raise hell in the pages of a book..

Again... Fuvk thy pope...!!! For i speakett..

KoloOyinbo:
All religions have their spiritual side.

Unfortunately they ALL have the NON spiritual but cultural influences that give them their stupid taboos.

Self service is normal and natural. If not VERY excessive does no harm whatsoever.

They old joke says (with a strong element of truth) that 98% of men admit they do it! The other 2% are liars!

Koloyinbo is that you...!? long time..

You make correct sense with this your post. I liked it.

But you're still a racist Irish man in my book..

tonte:
The most hilarious part of this story had to be "[/b] WHILE WASHING MY GENITALS INHAD MY FIRST ORGASM[b] what kind of silly lie is that...just from washing your deek you bust a nut..without any thoughts or mental task...nonsense talk here

GooseBaba:



....

It interesting to know that the vivalafrans is trying to help humanity through their sexual organs...

Through sex we know one can catch some very serious STD.....

But the Op wants us to believe that through choking the chicken, making the one eyed snake vomit will alter ones destiny... wonderfulumenti.....

Been laughing my ass off with your psychedelic use of words. choking the chicken, making the one eyed snake vomit
Classic! Never heard dat ever.

GooseBaba:


Koloyinbo is that you...!? long time..

You make correct sense with this your post. I liked it.

But you're still a racist Irish man in my book..

Yes a long time indeed. But I have been back in Naija for about two weeks every month for the last three months or so and have been quite busy. Only just relaxing over Xmas.

Have been working with four of your major banks and making arrangements with my Edo fiancée!

As for the racist stuff ... well, you are entitled to your misconceptions!

MissMeiya:


My guy, chop knuckle. If Nigerians exerted the same level of concentration and fanaticism towards science and education that they do over what they think God wants them to do with their pricks, Nigeria would be a superpower.

babe i no get ur point o.

GooseBaba:


The truth is bitter...

Look at what your god did to Mary.. Why she was asleep he released his holiness inside her virgin vi jay jay.

Now he does not want awon boys to release tension, so he can come and suvk our kini at night and give us wet dreams..

Your god too like toto and prick business.. Haba..!!!!

GOOD LAWD!!!!!!!

SWG1:


Let's assume u had no nude pix nor no imaginery picture in ur mind. will u still do it if God opens ur eyes to see that Jesus is standing b4 you and the holyspirit in you (temple of lord) is aggrieved telling you keep away from every form of uncleanliness and inordinate affection. will u still go ahead?

self gratification and defilement is unholy. And I tell you, if u still have a sensitive conscience u will fill less joyful in presence of God after indulging.


But God is there to help us all from any form of satanic stronghold. Once u diligently seek him

Guy kindly reread the bolded.... Your assumptions are not in line with our collective realities..

When you wake up in the morning with correct erection. Do you look around for jesus or do you rebuke satan for setting you up with an erection..

What is unclean to have a lovely erection and busting thy NUTTS....!!!! Some borri shout hallelujah..!!

[color=#990000][/color]

GooseBaba:


The truth is bitter...

Look at what your god did to Mary.. Why she was asleep he released his holiness inside her virgin vi jay jay.

Now he does not want awon boys to release tension, so he can come and suvk our kini at night and give us wet dreams..
May the Lord God forgive u for u know not what ure sayin
Your god too like toto and prick business.. Haba..!!!!

plaetton:

If you have an idea of how neural cells aggregate and interact to carry information, aggregate and organize it to produce sensations, consciousness, awareness and intelligence, do you not think that the aggregated clusters of planets, stars, galaxies, nebulas, etc in universe could have equally evolved same intelligence independently over 18 billion years via the exchange of electrical signals in the plasma stream?

Isn't it possible, in fact, more probable that the evolution of life and intelligence on earth is just a mimicry of the grander evolution of the universe?

"As it is above, so it is below".

Hello brother. Compliments of the season.

No, consciousness/awareness is not a product of the brain.

Reality - physical and non-physical - strongly, strongly, strongly appears to be a product of consciousness itself.

Yes, this consciousness, must have undergone some kind of evolution/progressive refinement...until it became badass!

Right now, in my not-knowing-muchness, I think its just experiencing/dreaming and flamboyantly showing off...to itself.

BuddhaPalm:


Oh Shhiiit!!

I had a faint idea of how massive this was, never knew it was this ginormous. Thanks for the scale bro.

@ The last pic,

Of course, the Intelligence responsible for even a billionth of this awesome manifestation cannot possibly be petty.

just look at that.. Who says we are alone. And there are no other life forms??