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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / Call Me A Bastard If U No Laugh Series (1303 Views)
If U No Laugh Make Thunder Fire My Grand Mama (best Joke Ever) / If U No Laf...call Me Olodo / IF U NO LAUGH,NO CALL ME T.ANONYMOUS (2) (3) (4)
Call Me A Bastard If U No Laugh Series by jahanara: 3:33pm On Nov 09, 2014 |
call me a bastard if u no laugh part 4: HAPPY BIRTHDAY Once upon a time there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for baked beans. She loved them but unfortunately they had always had a very embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her. Then one day she met a guy and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry she thought to herself, ” He is such a sweet and gentleman , he would never go for this carrying on.” So she made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. Some months later her car broke down on the way home from work. Since she lived in the country she called her husband and told him that she would be late because she had to walk home. On her way she passed a small diner and the odor of the baked beans was more than she could stand.Since she still had miles to walk, she figured that she would walk off any ill effects by the time she reached home. So, she stopped at the diner and before she knew it, she had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home she putt-putted. And upon arriving home she felt reasonably sure she could control it. Her husband seemed excited to see her and exclaimed delightedly, “Darling, I have a surprise for dinner tonight.” He then blindfolded her and led her to her chair at the table. She seated herself and just as he was about to remove the blindfold from his wife,the telephone rang. He made her promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned. He then went to answer the phone. The baked beans she had consumed were still affecting her and the pressure was becoming almost unbearable, so while her husband was out of the room she seized the opportunity, shifted her weight to one leg and let it go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of pulpwood mill. She took her napkin and fanned the air around her vigorously. Then, she shifted to the other cheek and ripped three more, which reminded her of cooked cabbage. Keeping herears tuned to the conversation in the other room, she went on like this for another ten minutes. When the phone farewells signaled the end of her freedom, she fanned the air a few more times with her napkin, placed it on her lap and folded her hands upon it, smiling contentedly to herself. She was the picture of innocence when her husband returned, apologizing for taking so long, he asked her if she peeked, and she assured him that she had not. At this point, he removed the blindfold, and she was surprised!! There were twelve dinner guests seated around the table to wish her a “Happy Birthday”!!! DO NOT HIT ME LIKE THAT A guy enters a bar carrying an alligator. Says to the patrons, “Here’s a deal. I’ll open this alligator’s mouth and place my genitals inside. The gator will close his mouth for one minute, then open it, and I’ll remove my unit unscathed. If it works, everyone buys me drinks.” The crowd agrees. The guy drops his pants and puts his privates in the gator’s mouth. Gator closes mouth. After a minute, the guy grabs a beer bottle and bangs the gator on the top of its head. The gator opens wide, and he removes his genitals unscathed. Everyone buys him drinks. Then he says:”I’ll pay anyone $100 who’s willing to give it a try.” After a while, a hand goes up in the back of the bar. It’s a woman. “I’ll give it a try,” she says, “but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle.” . LIKE THIS PAGE TO GET MORE INTERESTING ONES https://m.facebook.com/profile.php?v=timeline&filter=1&page=1§ionLoadingID=m_timeline_loading_div_1417420799_0_36_1&timeend=1417420799×tart=0&tm=AQCORZapNm6TK12e&id=571339816293605&refid=17 |
Re: Call Me A Bastard If U No Laugh Series by yungEX(m): 3:46pm On Nov 09, 2014 |
BASTARD |
Re: Call Me A Bastard If U No Laugh Series by hakunajay(m): 4:44pm On Nov 09, 2014 |
BASTARDLY BASTARD!!! OMO ALE |
Re: Call Me A Bastard If U No Laugh Series by Cikoloko(m): 4:49pm On Nov 09, 2014 |
hakunajay: |
Re: Call Me A Bastard If U No Laugh Series by emmy4lov(m): 5:46pm On Nov 09, 2014 |
F9!!! Is dis what u call funny 1 Like |
Re: Call Me A Bastard If U No Laugh Series by HenCq15: 6:47pm On Nov 09, 2014 |
. |
Re: Call Me A Bastard If U No Laugh Series by shox: 8:58pm On Nov 09, 2014 |
Bastard |
Re: Call Me A Bastard If U No Laugh Series by Rounakid(m): 9:24pm On Nov 09, 2014 |
Guy... I would advice u stop taking weeds... Is no longer guwd for ur system... *sighs* |
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