Not sure if you’re in love? Answer these questions
to know for sure.

Fairytales like Cinderella and Snow White
romanticize love by showing the main characters
living happily ever after. In Hollywood movies like
Pretty Woman or How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days ,
we see slight variations of guy meets girl, guy
loses girl and guy gets girl back . In most of these
movies, they live happily ever after. In fairytales
and movies, we’re led to believe that happily ever
after means that everything is always wonderful
between guy and girl.

In real life, here is the more common scenario: Guy
meets girl, guy has fun with girl but wants to date
others, girl just wants to date guy and tries to keep
his attention, and girl may stay too long with a guy
who isn’t right for her. Or if guy decides that he
wants girl, fears and insecurities that surface from
both individuals means that things aren’t the
happily ever after portrayed in fairytales and
movies. Placing unrealistic expectations from
fairytales and movies onto your own love life when
reality is different makes it hard to know if you’re
in love. If you believe happily-ever-after means
everything always flows wonderfully, and when
your own relationship ebbs and flows, you may not
realize you are actually in love with a wonderful
guy. Additionally, having strong feelings for
someone can make you think you’re in love when
you’re actually in lust or infatuated. Here’s the
important distinction between lust and infatuation:

Lust is a physical emotion and reaction to
someone else’s physical appearance. It’s when
you’re sexually attracted to a guy and want him
only for s*x . Lust tends to be short-lived and is
more about immediate gratification. If it’s just lust,
you will have sex in the heat of the moment and
only feel physically fulfilled.

Infatuation is an intense feeling. It happens when
you are attracted to a guy’s appearance or
attracted to him sexually. Infatuation happens early
on and tends to become obsessive. When you’re
infatuated, you see him through rose-colored
glasses based on who you imagine him to be. You
have put him on a pedestal and don’t acknowledge
him for who he really is — good or bad. You may
behave irrationally, become caught up in your
feelings of what you think love is and aren’t living
in reality.

The intensity of feelings that come with lusting
after someone or being infatuated may cause you
to think you’re in love. When the guy you’re lusting
after or are infatuated with doesn’t feel the same
way, disappointment and heartache ensue. As a
result, these lustful and infatuation experiences
that don’t work out, will cause you to believe,
“Love is hard, painful and uncertain.” The reality is
love isn’t any of these things. If you’re
experiencing love to be hard, painful and uncertain,
and asking, “Am I in love?”, you are not in love.

Lust and infatuation are usually fleeting and short-
lived and don’t tend to turn into love. When you are
in love, you will have intense feelings for a guy,
and be attracted and connected to him on the level
of mind, body and soul. Here is my perception and
experience of love.

Love is a feeling:
Feelings are the most common
way that people learn about and experience love.
When it is truly love, you will feel good about
yourself when you’re with and without him. As a
result, you will also feel good about him. Since
you’re only human, sometimes you may not feel so
good about yourself or him. This doesn’t mean it’s
not love. It just means that things are ebbing, and
change and growth are taking place.

Love is an inside job:
We tend to look for love from
someone else, not realizing that love is actually
within. Love is about loving yourself first so that
you are whole and not looking for someone else to
complete you. The quality of your love life is a
direct reflection on how much (or little) you care
for and love yourself. The more you love yourself,
the more you attract a guy who will love you just
as much.

Love is a way of being.:
Love is experienced in the
present moment. When you are present, negative
thoughts and feelings fall away, making space for
gratitude, kindness and loving energy. Being
present with your partner lets you see him through
fresh eyes and keeps you in love. Being present
helps you express yourself more openly, building a
deeper connection.
Love is a choice.

It’s easy to choose love when
things are going really well. And when insecurities
and fears come up, choosing love is where your
greatest growth happens. Love is choosing we
over me, unless you’re in an abusive relationship.
It’s being considerate of your partner and making
choices for the greater good of your relationship.
Love is built on a strong foundation.

Building a
strong foundation of love happens by being the
best version of you, taking the time to learn about
each other, appreciating and accepting each
other’s qualities, quirks and differences, being
there through thick and thin, resolving differences
in a respectful manner and letting him be who he is
without trying to change him.

=>20 Questions to Know if You’re in Love<=

Your answers to these questions will reveal if
you’re in love. Answer “true” or “false” with the
first response that comes up. If you’re thinking
about or rationalizing your answers too much, stop
answering these questions. Instead, take some
deep breaths and relax. Then respond from a
place of inner calm

1. I am attracted and connected to my partner
physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
2. The thought of my partner makes me happy.
3. I feel happy about myself when I’m with my
partner and without him.
4. I am free to be my true self in my relationship.
5. I like who I am in my relationship.
6. I love myself just as much as I love my
partner.
7. I feel good about who my partner is.
8. If my partner were to lose his material
possessions, I would still love him and be with
him.
9. I appreciate my partner and his quirks.
10. I’m happy for my partner when good things
come his way.
11. When difficulties come up for my partner, I’m
here to support him.
12. I feel good about the way my partner and I
interact and resolve issues.
13. I choose in favor of our relationship; my
decisions are for the greater good of our
relationship.
14. When I have good or bad news , or a
challenging situation, my partner is one of the
first people I call.
15. When we have issues, my initial response is to
resolve them, not leave him.
16. When our relationship isn’t flowing as smoothly
as I’d like, I’m able to be with what is and trust
that things are and will be fine.
17. I feel content and fulfilled in my relationship.
18. I know my partner feels the same way about
me as I do him (i.e. we both like and love each
other).
19. There’s no one else I’d rather be with, than my
partner.
20. I mostly approach our relationship from a place
of love.

You are mostly likely in love if the majority of your
answers are “true”. If most of your answers are
“false”, you are not in love. You are approaching
love from fear and under the belief that love is
hard. The bottom line is: if you’re in love with the
right guy, love won’t be or feel so hard. You will
feel uplifted and loved for your true self. You will
know how he feels about you. Your relationship will
flow with more ease and when difficulties arise,
they will be resolved respectfully.

What did you discover about yourself after reading
this article and answering these questions? Please
share your comments and thoughts.

THIS ARTICLE WAS CONTRIBUTED BY LAWAL WIZLAW

http://gist212.com/2014/10/am-i-in-love-thedifference-between-lovelust-infatuation/

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