Re: The Wedding Jollof Rice Finished After I Paid For Asoebi by dechandel(f): 5:56pm On Dec 02, 2014 |
unibenstudent1: so u are an occasion rider? Nah. Just once in a while stuff.. Na only if i accept am na.. All these wicked brides wey no go pity person with their over priced asoebi clothes |
Re: The Wedding Jollof Rice Finished After I Paid For Asoebi by dechandel(f): 6:03pm On Dec 02, 2014 |
CalabarBoi: i'd ready to marry you over and over again so others will buy too Nah.. Hopefully my husband and i will be able to sponsor the brides |
Re: The Wedding Jollof Rice Finished After I Paid For Asoebi by unibenstudent1(m): 6:28pm On Dec 02, 2014 |
dechandel:
Nah. Just once in a while stuff.. Na only if i accept am na.. All these wicked brides wey no go pity person with their over priced asoebi clothes make I send u the asoebi for my marriage too nah. Am wedding a nairalander soon |
Re: The Wedding Jollof Rice Finished After I Paid For Asoebi by dechandel(f): 7:21pm On Dec 02, 2014 |
unibenstudent1: make I send u the asoebi for my marriage too nah. Am wedding a nairalander soon If that includes sending me a private jet, a louboutin shoes and a chanel purse.. Then i am in |
Re: The Wedding Jollof Rice Finished After I Paid For Asoebi by unibenstudent1(m): 7:26pm On Dec 02, 2014 |
U are the bride so that's ur gift;there is also a bonus of expensive perfumes dechandel:
If that includes sending me a private jet, a louboutin shoes and a chanel purse.. Then i am in |
Re: The Wedding Jollof Rice Finished After I Paid For Asoebi by Nobody: 7:33pm On Dec 02, 2014 |
dechandel:
Nah.. Hopefully my husband and i will be able to sponsor the brides don't come begging later on then |
Re: The Wedding Jollof Rice Finished After I Paid For Asoebi by dechandel(f): 7:42pm On Dec 02, 2014 |
unibenstudent1: U are the bride so that's ur gift;there is also a bonus of expensive perfumes I laugh you in spanish |
Re: The Wedding Jollof Rice Finished After I Paid For Asoebi by unibenstudent1(m): 7:46pm On Dec 02, 2014 |
dechandel:
I laugh you in spanish oh I laugh u in Japanese /chin chong hoo Haa hiii.. |
Re: The Wedding Jollof Rice Finished After I Paid For Asoebi by fairygeh(f): 11:37am On Dec 24, 2014 |
OmG,this is so funny |
Re: The Wedding Jollof Rice Finished After I Paid For Asoebi by Ksslib(m): 1:46pm On Jan 17, 2015 |
Hahahaha. Laff wan kee me die. So funny.. Kplele. |
Re: The Wedding Jollof Rice Finished After I Paid For Asoebi by chrisgurl(f): 3:27pm On Jan 17, 2015 |
This is so funnny |
Re: The Wedding Jollof Rice Finished After I Paid For Asoebi by Nobody: 3:16pm On Jan 25, 2015 |
My own is still cooking with goatmeat and beef plus green beans and plantain God is good all the time !! Happy Sunday 3 Likes |
Re: The Wedding Jollof Rice Finished After I Paid For Asoebi by watchindelta(m): 3:16pm On Jan 25, 2015 |
u join becuz of rice b4? |
Re: The Wedding Jollof Rice Finished After I Paid For Asoebi by pxjosh(m): 3:17pm On Jan 25, 2015 |
.Lol. naijasinglegirl I've read this before on your website, and I must say I like your style of writing. |
Re: The Wedding Jollof Rice Finished After I Paid For Asoebi by Nobody: 3:18pm On Jan 25, 2015 |
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Re: The Wedding Jollof Rice Finished After I Paid For Asoebi by marshalcarter: 3:20pm On Jan 25, 2015 |
...lolzzzzz....rotfl...you mean after everytin...rice no reach you??....lwkmd...sorry hear dis kain tin can pain Buh you for ask dem weda beans dey |
Re: The Wedding Jollof Rice Finished After I Paid For Asoebi by pxjosh(m): 3:22pm On Jan 25, 2015 |
babyosisi: My own is still cooking with goatmeat and beef plus green beans and plantain God is good all the time !! Happy Sunday oh my! you want me to kill myself with my own saliva abi? 1 Like |
Re: The Wedding Jollof Rice Finished After I Paid For Asoebi by Nobody: 3:22pm On Jan 25, 2015 |
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Re: The Wedding Jollof Rice Finished After I Paid For Asoebi by Nobody: 3:24pm On Jan 25, 2015 |
100Cents: Sorry, my wedding will be coming up soon. Your rice and goat meat is guaranteed..
But remember to buy aso-ebi first. Are you serious? I had you in mind yesterday. Pls don't hesitate to inform me of the date
@OP I don't eat @weddings except I am just trying to look humble and nice. I just pay for the aso-ebi to help my friends and forget the cost as long as I like the fabric. |
Re: The Wedding Jollof Rice Finished After I Paid For Asoebi by fresh360(m): 3:25pm On Jan 25, 2015 |
Well always eat b4 going out nt even parties alone |
Re: The Wedding Jollof Rice Finished After I Paid For Asoebi by sophtaf(f): 3:25pm On Jan 25, 2015 |
Ok,this got me laughing real hard. |
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Re: The Wedding Jollof Rice Finished After I Paid For Asoebi by armadeo(m): 3:26pm On Jan 25, 2015 |
StealthyMe: LoL...no vex Shiiit happens
This guys expression is epic. |
Re: The Wedding Jollof Rice Finished After I Paid For Asoebi by zigger(m): 3:29pm On Jan 25, 2015 |
One word we nigerians say in such situations EEeeeeyaaaA!!! |
Re: The Wedding Jollof Rice Finished After I Paid For Asoebi by zigger(m): 3:31pm On Jan 25, 2015 |
mition666: Hello i am mr, john i was nearly frustrate by those people called there self spell casters and illuminati men. they take my money and scam me. it was mition666 that rescue my life from them, am so happy today that i'm a great man on my own. i will advice you to be part of the mition666 secret cult for you to be powerful and get all you want in this world if you know you have a strong heart to be a member true this email;mition666@gmail.com or call 08136196285 Who u sacrifice? 1 Like |
Re: The Wedding Jollof Rice Finished After I Paid For Asoebi by Nobody: 3:32pm On Jan 25, 2015 |
pxjosh: oh my! you want me to kill myself with my own saliva abi? Bon appetit |
Re: The Wedding Jollof Rice Finished After I Paid For Asoebi by yemicoal(m): 3:33pm On Jan 25, 2015 |
This is just making FP since DEC last year .God will restore all your delayed blessings this year. hit Like for amin 4 Likes |
Re: The Wedding Jollof Rice Finished After I Paid For Asoebi by AJOT99(m): 3:35pm On Jan 25, 2015 |
Funny |
Re: The Wedding Jollof Rice Finished After I Paid For Asoebi by emmykk(m): 3:37pm On Jan 25, 2015 |
let me dedicate is plot of the web to jonathan goodluck.my daddy |
Re: The Wedding Jollof Rice Finished After I Paid For Asoebi by phlamesG: 3:37pm On Jan 25, 2015 |
Lwkmd nice and blunt write up |
Re: The Wedding Jollof Rice Finished After I Paid For Asoebi by free2ryhme: 3:38pm On Jan 25, 2015 |
Naijasinglegirl: They told us Lilian's groom-to-be was one of those wealthy Mobil workers. "My best friend's wedding would be the talk of town." Lilian's chief bridesmaid bragged.
All the big girls in school heard that and ran to queue for her expensive asoebi. Rumours also had it the groomsmen were representatives of different oil companies. The best caterers in town had been hired for the wedding. I hurriedly used my hard earned money to buy 3 yards of her asoebi when I heard that.
Back then, I was a 400level student and working on my project took a toll on me. The wedding date escaped my memory because I was too busy to catch up with my girls for random gist. It didn't occur to me that Lilian's wedding was in 4 days time until my friend stormed my hostel with her already sewn asoebi. Between requesting an express service from a tailor or making my hair, I settled for the later. When I saw the girls in my hostel looking good in their asoebi that Saturday morning, I had to cut a piece from my 3 yards to stylishly strut around the shoulder of my yellow dress so I wouldn't feel odd amongst them.
Let me make something clear at this point. Whenever I attend a wedding, Either or all of these four things take me there. 1. The people attending. E.g Lilian's chevron, shell and mobil groomsmen. 2. The excitement of the photos I'll take. This depends on how beautiful my hair or dress is. 3. My relationship with the couple. If you are family, I might grudgingly attend the church ceremony. Reason being, I unconsciously memorise marriage vows and that is one hell of an information that is completely worthless to me. If you are my distant friend, I'll attend your reception for no4 only. 4. THE WEDDING FOOD.
Its easy to tell no1 and no4 were taking me to Lilian's. The problem was the venue for the matrimonial service and reception were one and the same place. It was difficult to reckon when the oil workers groomsmen would be outside briefly for photos before the reception starts and when refreshments would begin. Good thing I bullied my two friends into affirming the wedding food was our utmost priority so we all waited till 1pm before leaving the hostel. Surprisingly, the couple were yet to recite their marriage vows when we arrived at 2pm. Fine! One more annoying marriage vow to memorise. I cursed silently.
It was almost 4pm and the matrimonial ceremony was still going on. There was nothing spectacular at the wedding as those in Lilian circle made us believe. Even some of the so-called oil workers looked more like fillings stations attendants. The pastor had diverted from the usual Adam and Eve story to preach on fornication. I cringed in my seat as I glanced at my wristwatch and the programme booklet for the umpteenth time. My friend whispered that its because Lilian was four months pregnant outside wedlock.
My impatience state had me lamenting, ''But pastor do our stomachs really have to pay for the sins of the couple?''
My sigh was audible when the reception finally began. We couldn't leave the hall to take photos with the couple for fear that we might lose our seats. Due to the poor timing, they had to rush most of the items listed in the programme.
We were told to form a queue beside each canopy for the buffet. It seemed like we were not the only ones waiting for food as the whole place was thrown into a pandemonium. Nigerians sure don’t know how to queue up for a buffet. They jump in line, push whoever is in the way and makes sure those serving attend to them before anyone else. I felt like stabbing the restless guy in front of me with the heel of my shoe or strangling him with the piece of aseobi on my shoulder.
My friends and I were among the first 20 in our queue but my joy was cut short when the MC instructed we all head back to our seats. The ushers were going to serve us there.
The new directive messed everything up. Some people had already gotten food at the buffet, some got food twice while some didn't and it was difficult to tell where they sat. The ushers were not helping matters by serving in a scalar manner.
One of my friends got first. Fifteen minutes after, the second one got hers. Thirty minutes after, nothing for me yet. Both of them were now giving each other that 'eeyah... I pity Naijasinglegirl sha' look. Occasionally they would glance at me and give me that 'sister, relax, you will eat in Jesus name' look.
"Should I remain my food for you?" One of my friend asked.
"NO!" I voiced out in anger.
Didn't know who to pour my frustration on. From the back row I sat, I tried to eye the bride with disgust but she wouldn't even look at me. I thought of taking off the small piece of asoebi from my neck to wave at her. After paying for your asoebi, no food abi? 419 wedding!
One of my 'bellyfull' friends had the guts to suggest we head outside to wait for the mobil groomsmen. How can I listen to any man on an empty stomach? I abused her with all the curses and swear words I learnt since 1914. As the immigration officer of our 3- female clique, both of them had absolutely no right to go out without me. At that point only the wedding jollof rice mattered. LoL
Reality set in when people started leaving. Typically of Nigerian ceremonies, once they eat, they dump your ass there and then! Even the couple finished their 'feeding of the couple stuff' and they no longer gave a hoot about their guests...including me.
You've got to me strong gurllllll... You've seen worse. Don't dare cry. I consoled myself.
I was too preoccupied with hunger to notice my friend had gone over to the catering section to complain on my behalf. Whatever she told them worked as one of them was seen heading towards my direction with a tray.
"Errrmmm...sorry oh. You should have struggled for food na. There's rice here but the chicken and meat we have left has been packed away by the bride's relatives. Would you mind the rice only?"
Emi? Eat leftover rice? I may be a beggar but I am a beggar with class and a damn good choice.
"Let's leave please." I motioned to my friends tearfully. I could sense a violent ulcer attack ready to strike me. My friends began consoling me. "Don't worry, we would try to seat at the front when next we attend a wedding."
"There won't be any next time!" I retorted angrily.
Maybe they've been, but that was the last time I wasted money on asoebi's that couldn't guarantee me trival benefits like the wedding jollof rice. |
Re: The Wedding Jollof Rice Finished After I Paid For Asoebi by Nobody: 3:42pm On Jan 25, 2015 |
Nice entertaining piece @ poster At my cousin's wedding in this America they ran out of food and people were buying McDonald burgers and eating It's not a matter of eating before getting there,should I also pack a sandwich in my handbag? You folks need to understand that when people come to a wedding lasting hours,they need to be fed You eat breakfast and appear at 11 am for a wedding and reception drags on till 6 PM,why won't they feed us a good lunch/ dinner 4 Likes |