abandon him and care for yourself, don't collect a dime from him, put him at arm length, then he will start considering u. it works for me.
y all don't wanna hear my story...... I feel unwanted

?

Dude, your story is not complete.

Why not leave him?


As far as what you post here is concerned your dad is no better than a deadbeat.



Your ma pays everything and you still slave for your dad for free?



Leave him and explain situation of things to your mom

sosiqdude:


Was I talking to u?

I don't care.

If really that's what your going through then I have the right recipe for you. Excel in what ever you do, prove him wrong, come out tops in your class, make a first class, do something positively outstanding I bet you will be choked with his love.

OP you have to leave your father and move into hostel to concentrate on your studies. I was barely 2 years when my mother died so I don't know her expect through pics, my father was following different women and he cared less for me. It was my grandma ( my mother's mom) that raised me till I was in pry 5 and she died, I later went to live with a relative and sufferred pretty well, my father never bothered where I was. It got to a stage that he started telling people that I was dead. To cut long story, short, I am happily married with 3 kids and living in my own house and I love my kids so dearly, my father is old now, I send him money when I can but I don't ever go to the village to see him. I have forgiven him but I hate it when I know I didn't grow up with parental care. God is your strength and I believe you will make it in life and your father will surely go back to his vomit. Blank your mind and move on. #SomeFathersAreHeartless

Hi Elwire. Just read through your story and I can only imagine. It can be really psychologically draining at times you know. But I'm gonna tell you something, and what I've got to say is just keep on being "nice" and "obedient" to him. It's gonna seem difficult but I tell you it's the best way. I tell you, I'm prolly the most imperfect person but I try my best to be nice and obedient all the time and you know what? I do my best and try to leave a mark (hopefully a good one) on everybody I come across. So some day, when you've finally relocated, your Dad won't help but miss you (well, hopefully) and if he doesn't, that's fine, God won't judge your actions against him, you know. Just my 2kobo. All the best Elwire.

My advice is this...knock at his door around 5am, tell him you wish to share some very important moments with him, tell him how much u love him, tell him all the wrongs he is supposedly doing you, tell him that u called him at that time of the day because u d like him to put u through and help u change where he thinks u are going wrong, remind him that u have only 1 father on earth, tell him that the thought of committing suicide have crossed ur mind a couple of times because of the perceived hate he has for you.....I can assure you that this will work magic than both of you competing on who can hate the other more...DONT buy these opinions telling you to hate him in return, it will do you no good. My best wishes.

Just visit a nearby shop and purchase piya-piya it will bring to an end all the problems you are having with him.

Don't see me a wicked just a kinda of advice.

Hmmmm...
@op... PLS note that in any circumstances of life, SUICIDE is never an option...NEVER...
Like PLS don't think of that again.
I would suggest you get a father figure who you can confide in, or get a best friend and I mean a true friend who can go all the mile with you on this.. Things will change but it will take time.
I'm not gonna judge your father but I think he is making a big mistake by dwelling in the past if that be the case...
What you need do now is success ESP in your academics and you can achieve this if only you focus... It's gonna be difficult for sure but it's not un-do-able..
Don't forget you need GOD to... he is the best Father you can ever sort for...
For a status, I could be your friend...
I feel pained with what you going through but I know that TOUGH SITUATION DONT LAST, only TOUGH PEOPLE DO..
Cheers

Nigga,dnt jes get a+'s in skul,get great ambitions nd b above him.dnt giv a Bleep 4 such men.

My dear brother I knw wat u are passing thru,I hav seen such b4 my only advice is that u stay strong pray hard stay focus and carry ur cross like a soilder . Again avoid him as much as u can dnt think sucide is nt an option,dnt report him it will nt help.dnt worry one day e go better he will be the one to ask fr forgivness after e don clear fr him eye. I knw that everyother person will advice that u forgive wen the times come bt me well ... Best of luck man!! #vegayarns#

Its obvious that he is bitter over the divorce and you remind him of that. There is no point staying with him. He might be the one who fathered you but he aint your Dad. I suggest if your mum can't accomodate in Egypt she should find someone she trusts to take care of you while she sends the money. Afterall she pays your fees already

OP I have faced sumtin like this before though not a father,..
I'm going to advice u on sumtin it might not be the best but u can try it cos it worked for me.....
1st., make him see that you're no longer that kid he use to know u now an adult so he should treat u as such... don't be scared of him occasionally, get rude at him even if he threatens do not succumb...always be man enough to tell him how u feel no matter what give him a reason to know that ice he has a problem it's definately not you... try this and believe me u will see changes,

bro maybe ur mom did something that time,that warrant him been hatch to u. u can ask ur mom or do some research on ur own.

waleyp:
Bro I dont even know what to say..... tell ur mum u want to get into hostel.... tell ur dad that going from home to school is affecting ur grade in school that u need to move to hostel... or what do u ve in mind of doing? U on whatsapp? So we can talk better?

This is how cultist talk ...

carefreewannabe:


I don't care.

Like I care too... I no u just like me for the first time u sight...do u love me?

It seems you are a lady going by your comments. If you are not, then you are not man enough.

He hates u, so what are you still doing with him.
He doesn't pay your school fees, why are you working for him. Money is powerful,since he is not the one giving you, you are free as a bird.

Tell him you need to concentrate on your studies n don't ever ask him for help. God will guide u right. No time for emotional blackmail o,no time. Cheers

@Op, you should be glad that you don't have a FAKE dad. He's just been a BAD dad to you. Many fake dads with bad children abound. I wish to someday start a thread on ''Fake dad or bad dad'' but I don't know how to create one. I've had observatory experiences via stories/complaints, neighbours, family relations, even with unknown persons who have wandered into our way as a result of such issues. There was a particularly pathetic one wit a kid this year (bad dad). You'll cry. Just friday here, I bumped into a friend back from primary school days, and he complained of his fake dad. However, he's very much hopeful of the brighter side. He's mapped out and currently implementing his survival strategy. Now, he's in his penultimate year and has freed his mum to concentrate on his brother who's graduating soon. Hope this help.

Must you live with him if he slaps you.? Why dont you move in with your mum or any competent close relative. This is not the time fathers beat children senselessly like donkdys, fathers that does that ddoesnt deserve children,they are untamed animals.. I dont care what the child has done,he/she must never be beaten violently.

Don't! I repeat, don't ever think of commiting suicide, boy. Anyone who commits suicide doesn't deserve to live in the first place. I'm an elder and will give you a considerable advice.

For your father to treat you that way, something must have happened. We may not know what it is becuase you're the one holding the key here.

In reference to the little you have already told us, this is my advice;

You MUST discuss it with him. It is the first important step. Look for the right time he's happy or do something at home that will put a little smile on his face, then after that you approach him alone (not when your step mum is present).

Sit down with him and talk to him politely. Let him understand what his harsh treatment is doing to you. Let him know you don't know when or how you wronged him. That you are ready to apologize for any wrong you did. That you want to know what you did wrong to make sure it doesn't happen.

Let him know you nearly killed yourself as you felt he has rejected you. That you love him as your father and also expect him to show you fatherly love. That it breaks your heart being treated like an enemy by your own father.

That he should not allow whatever was the problem between him and your mum to affect his relationship with you. And you care so much about having a good relationship with him. That you're ready to make any amends possible.

He may interrupt you severally during the conversation, but be patient with his rants.

If after the discussion, he continues treating you bad, Ignore him, do your chores and focus on your studies because education is what will guarantee your independence. Good a thing, he doesn't pay your fees.

If you become rich tomorrow and he comes to you to beg for your forgiveness, please do forgive him. It will demonstrate you're a better person than him.

Goodluck!

Suicide is not a good option. So get rid of that thought.

You are 18, turning into an adult. You can give your dad some space. He can't keep abusing you. Move to the hostel or rent a room near your school and never tell your dad where you are, except your mum.

Your dad is experiencing some frustrations and he sees you as a good outlet......

Be a good boy. Don't hate him. But staying under the same roof with him is not the best idea.

Above sllm pray and trust God to direct your path.

Igbentosan:
My dear if you can bear it from age four till this your present age then you can still bear if till you finally gain your freedom.Your father may not actually hate you ,you may actually be the child he loves most but he doesn't know how to show it.You know some of our parents made a lot of mistakes while growing up and they don't wish their children to do same.Just maybe the only way he thinks he can prevent you from doing that same mistakes is to be harsh to you.Please Ơ̴̴̴̴̴̴͡.̮Ơ̴̴͡ his treatments as training.Also put it into prayers because there is nothing God can not do

The evidence of love in deed. Please love is shown in action.

@OP. I feel for you and hope that you figure out the best way to handle this.

elwire:
i just don't know how to satisfy this man he divorced my mom when i was 4yrs am now 18 buh my dad hate me....in a family of six he shows all my brothers luv....he always want me to work for him whc i ill obey unlike my brothers....he slap me infront of his freinds insult me call me names i swear i jux dont know what to do to please him...

My step mum also hates me i once liv our house i went to my grandma my popsy followed and told her that am lying bla bla...i was sent back home...i stole his shaving stick and went for DNA test whc my friend helped me d result was positive he was my father...my mom is married in Egypt..she jux call me sometimes and told me dat u ve to bear with my father...he dont pay my fees my mom does....jux dis morning he hit me with a kettle because m playin with one of my niece telling me dat i wantu break her hand because she s not my kid....dam!!!

i jux feel like committing suicide i hate myslf am just depressed....please your advice is needed...m actually an active nairalander buh i created this account to hide my identity...!!

Almost in same shoe buh mine is my mum, no love found no love lost, Beside i wasn't treated this bad, we just don't have any connection! Advice; Disconnect with ur dad, tell ur mum you want to live inside hostel or u kill urself

Dear elwire if indeed what u have explained is true, I charge u to tell it to God, he is d only one that can solve ur issue, talk to him sincerely and don't u dare think of suicide cos u don't own your life, you are just a caretaker, I have a step mom too and I know how you feeL just trust God, he is teaching u so u won't subject anyone to what you're going thru, and also ur father does not hate u, he is just confused, beg God to give u an understanding and patience.

If u were older than 18, I would advice you to leave the house and go stay with someone else. Doesn't have to be a relative. Everything points to the fact that he doesn't want you - doesn't pay ur tuition (or can't he afford it?), wants you to labour for him (for what?), insults you in his friends' presence (who does that?), etc Go find someone to live with, you are a man already. Anyone who calls u a bastard for leaving your heartless dad is simply unreasonable. Going this way, you might end up growing with so much hatred within urself; you don't wanna do that to yourself. I have more to say, but my pimples will say 'Na half of word we say to a reasonable pikin, if e reach inside, it becomes whole'. Goodluck!

I feel your pain.. I have been there. The funny thing is that you will still want to please n impress him despite all this yet he refuses to see your efforts. Treats your siblings better and when u complain, u are tagged ungrateful. Abeg d tinz too plenty. Try as much as possible not to give a fvck no more and stay outta d house as often as you can get.

If he would grant you the audience, I would advice that you approach him and ask why he hates you so much. Pour your heart out the way you've done here. Make him realise that even if he's still bitter about your mum., it's really unfair of him to take it out on you.

Depending on his reaction or action after this, you may have to leave the house. If he acts unperturbed, move to the hostel and inform your mum about your decision to do so.
In this case, you need not inform him or let him know that you're leaving the house but endeavour to have a talk with him before you do this.

Please discard all suicidal thoughts, it won't stop your father from living if you die and you'll only be a coward to the great future you have ahead.

elwire:
i just don't know how to satisfy this man he divorced my mom when i was 4yrs am now 18 buh my dad hate me....in a family of six he shows all my brothers luv....he always want me to work for him whc i ill obey unlike my brothers....he slap me infront of his freinds insult me call me names i swear i jux dont know what to do to please him...

My step mum also hates me i once liv our house i went to my grandma my popsy followed and told her that am lying bla bla...i was sent back home...i stole his shaving stick and went for DNA test whc my friend helped me d result was positive he was my father...my mom is married in Egypt..she jux call me sometimes and told me dat u ve to bear with my father...he dont pay my fees my mom does....jux dis morning he hit me with a kettle because m playin with one of my niece telling me dat i wantu break her hand because she s not my kid....dam!!!

i jux feel like committing suicide i hate myslf am just depressed....please your advice is needed...m actually an active nairalander buh i created this account to hide my identity...!!

[b]My friend there is no long story for me to say. Your Dad sees your Mum and all the bitterness in their relationship in you. Since your Mum pays your fees, I will advice you to find a way, Just find a way to collect large sum of money from her (even if you have to lie), relocate to school hostel or an off campus location.
You can even relocate to any of your maternal relatives abode temporarily (a friendly and accomodating one at that). Learn a skill or start a business (with part of the money) but please do not blow the money foolishly.
Then, start a business and put all your time and dedication in the business as if your life depends on it. Once the business begins to make sense relocate and stay on your own. I am typing tis from experience, the more you continue to stay in that house and experience those negative things he worse it gets for you.
What you need practical solution, you need to face reality my friend. You can PM me for personal advice. Just remember that life is too short to live been sad. Your Dad will definitely come to his right mind, but not now.[/b]

4k the man.. Na this kind thing dey frustrate u? I Don't need by force love

elwire:
i just don't know how to satisfy this man he divorced my mom when i was 4yrs am now 18 buh my dad hate me....in a family of six he shows all my brothers luv....he always want me to work for him whc i ill obey unlike my brothers....he slap me infront of his freinds insult me call me names i swear i jux dont know what to do to please him...

My step mum also hates me i once liv our house i went to my grandma my popsy followed and told her that am lying bla bla...i was sent back home...i stole his shaving stick and went for DNA test whc my friend helped me d result was positive he was my father...my mom is married in Egypt..she jux call me sometimes and told me dat u ve to bear with my father...he dont pay my fees my mom does....jux dis morning he hit me with a kettle because m playin with one of my niece telling me dat i wantu break her hand because she s not my kid....dam!!!

i jux feel like committing suicide i hate myslf am just depressed....please your advice is needed...m actually an active nairalander buh i created this account to hide my identity...!!

I feel you should leave and go live with your grandma
The man sounds very abusive and heartless
You won't miss much going to live with grandma,your mother will still continue to pay your school fees and cater for you
Hopefully that will be a more loving environment
Don't hurt yourself,you will break your mother's heart