He had always been fascinated with the numbers THREE and SEVEN. Initially, "seven" was it, he added "three" when that also began to appear alongside the former. The numbers had played prominently in many of his documents, documents that had defined in the main the path his life had careered since he was born.

He wasn't into numerology, but he couldn't help but notice the numbers when they present themselves especially when it all started from the very day he was born. A Messianic Jew born on a Sabbath Day. He used to think he lived a charmed life until some events convinced him otherwise.

He couldn't be one to live a life determined by auguries read off numbers or the way the numbers presented themselves, hence his fascination with those numbers were and are merely superficial, though many a times they have combined in situations that have birthed significant events in his life, and to find them appear at this time, and simply wish that away as happenstance without looking to see a way to use that to his advantage, even if it's just for inspiration sakes, was too tempting to overlook.

Three years from now the landmark age of forty will arrive, and he'll know if he'd been a fool or not. Of course he knows that that isn't much of a decider, many of his icons and legends had become notable much later in life, and he had only alluded to such because of what many people think about coming to that age. He'd read about Julius Caesar's disappointment in himself at seeing a bust of Alexander (who had conquered the world in his early 30's), it is not known whether that event later spurred Caesar to go on to attain the much he got up to later.
He'd never measured himself with the achievements of his peers, he celebrates them, but never going overboard to envy, even though most times it seemed they were living his dreams and he, their nightmares. He is a firm believer in the Igbo adage, "Mgbe Onye Ji Teta Bu Ututu Ya", that is, "When One Wakes Up, Is his/her Morning", literally. Armed with his maxim, "There's No Hurry In Life", his belief in the fact that "No Condition Is Permanent" is reinforced by the fact that as long as there's life, there's hope, and he has no plans to die soon.

Funny he could be saying this today, because for many years he'd been apocalyptic about himself and his mortality appeared to always stare him in the face, he never had dreams (well, except for daydreams) at night as a kid, just nightmares. By the time he became an adult those nightmares stopped scaring him, some even made him laugh till they fizzled out altogether. Now, he talks about how all of this will make sense in the long run, and whether or not he makes it at 40 now doesn't really matter.

What really amounts to making it?
Who knows what ones purpose in life is? In this clime, many simply perceive or associate the thing they do that earns them riches and fame or even happiness to be their purpose in life, but he's never felt that that could be it, if ever a PURPOSE, and the fulfillment of such was the reason why we are here in the first place.

He has often wondered if one as old or young as he is could claim to have found his/her purpose in or to life. He once resolved to find an old and dying (wo)man whom many would say had lived a full and PURPOSEFUL life to ask if truly (s)he found her/his purpose in life, and if yes, what was it? Maybe such an encounter from a sage with insight may direct him to seek his own purpose or work towards one, or if otherwise simply live life for all its worth and in all the chaos discover that constant 'K' of which "purposes" are made.

This is what a day like this means to him, a time to introspect, to review times past, assess the present and peer into the future for possibilities. It has never been a time of celebrations for him, of course besides offering a prayer of gratitude to YAHWEH for sparing his life thus far, when he shouldn't have been considered for such in the first place. Many times he'd wondered why death took so many good and beautiful people, who have so much going for them and not looked his way even in the days when he was depressed and nursed some suicidal thoughts he was scared to actualize. He now considers every opportunity to live as an opportunity to make a difference and change, for the better especially when such opportunity presents.

He had changed a lot, the days he was considered good, now looks blurred with days of naivety, for since he became aware of himself, it became more difficult to be naive and thus be good, and many things he put beyond him became stuff of which stories were made about him. He found truism in HERACLITUS' words on parchment especially the one on "change", where he said in ancient Greek that, ''Potamoisi toisin autoisin embainousin,
hetera kai hetera hudata epirrei'', which roughly translates to mean, "you cannot step into the same river twice". He hadn't, not just because the river of his life had changed, but because even he who stepped into it had become a changed man, on every occasion he took a plunge that now he couldn't put any misdemeanour beyond him any longer, though his self control has been on overdrive lately, just so he can keep maintaining his head in the right place to continue to be and do what society expected of him in the main.

So far most of his needs have been achieved one way or the other, however much remains to be achieved as regards his wants, and for that he had resolved not to break sleep over them, contending to avoid situations where he would have to work unusually hard just to afford or achieve such wants. He's learnt enough in life to know that peer pressure shouldn't dictate the things he must do and at what time he must do them, for Que Sera, Sera!

He does have a long way to go, but he knows he needs not be in a rush anymore to achieve his goals as very few things in his life had been achieved by so much stress, and in many cases hadn't tended to last compared to the ones that came to him without as much as the batting of his eyelids, in their due time and season.

Thirty-Seven must be phenomenal, will be phenomenal, he could feel it now, it made more sense as a milestone than counting his days in "tens", that's why he wouldn't notice his fortieth if he lives to see the day. Did Moses not ask YAHWEH to teach him to number his days? If it has come to him to number his days thus and not in tens then so be it.

He had written something before now to commemorate his 37th, but just as he was about to transfer it after copying it, he mistakenly deleted it. He was distraught for a while, but somehow he still managed to write this, so different from the original, which was darker and focused more on the numerology and mystical aspect of numbers, even throwing in some bit of KABALLAH, but that wasn't meant to be. In retrospect however, this missive is rather how he'd love to see himself on this auspicious day, and it has been worth his while.

'kovich

37 | madukovich's cogitations - http://madukovich./2014/11/19/37/

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