The mere thought of living with the same woman in the same house for the rest of my life scares the shit out of me.

I know how my mum nags, And I really do wonder how my dad feels,What my dad is going through. Is he enjoying his life,if he had a second chance would he decide to get married again?

I know how good, ladies are at changing their behavior when they are looking for husband, they deliberately monitor how they behave,they start acting nicely all for the sake of securing a husband,That's even more scary because you don't get to know who is genuinely worthy character wise.

What will happen if I don't get married?
Will I be called an irresponsible man?
Will I be alienated because I am not married?
How would my family react at my decision considering the fact that I am the only son,who would carry their name.

Help a confused fellow out.

Warning:If you have nothing reasonable to say please don't post anything just click "back" And continue reading other posts on this section.

Marriage is over flopped jare, just be good. It is not for everyone, neither is it a do or die affair. It is not a compulsory something. Be free.

On the issue of change, that's a constant thing, men changes after wedding, that's when u get to see their true colours. Pple pretend, no be only woman, men too.

It takes one with faith and hope to get married.

Its best to marry an experienced girl; a widower or divorcee

mumumugu:
It takes one with faith and hope to get married.

Its best to marry an experienced girl; a widower or divorcee

Have you married one yet?

You don't have to marry. You should not do what people tell you to do but what you think is right to do.

When you meet the right person at the right time, you will have no doubts. If you don't, you will do something else with your life.

Thank you all for your reply

Since you are the only son I doubt if your parents are going to let you alone about the marriage thing. If you don't get married it means your father's lineage will end at you, forever. That's a hard baggage to carry.

Having said that, come on, marriage isn't that bad, don't fill your mind with the things you read online. There are couples that really cant do without each other as in they love each other so much. All these minor minor issues that we read everyday online don't come up with them.

My advice to you is this: Don't marry out of pity, a lot of guys do so these days. They don't love the lady but because they were the ones that 'disvirgined' her or because they have been in a long relationship and don't want to let anybody down, they get married. And then you are in a marriage where you know you don't love the person but decided to marry her anyway out of one reason or the other. That's a bad start.

Be patient. Wait till you see that one girl that you just flow with, that girl who you can talk to freely and discuss everything with, that girl who has the same spiritual /religious beliefs as you do(very very important) that girl who has the same goals as you do. Don't let her pass you by. She will definitely come along and when she does you are the one who will be rushing her to the altar.

When you stop asking the kinds of questions you are saddled with on this thread.
Too much self-doubt makes recipes for FAILURES!
You need more of self-confidence to know what you want from what you don't want.
You are not there yet. . .and may never get there!

Someone asked this on a thread: Is Getting Married The Only Thing That Makes A Young Man Responsible?
This was my reply.

I will get married but it will be when I want to. Society isn't going to pressure me to dance to their tune and later regret it. When the problems arise, you'll hear them saying things that will shock you and you would wonder if they were the same people who pushed you into that situation.

Take your time, plan your life and get married when you are ready.
And when you get married, have a good home and people would forget all this brouhaha that's going on now.

You don't use what is happening between your mum and dad as a yardstick to measure whether your marriage will be successful or not. Why not dwell on the positives instead of negatives: see families having blissful union and be inspired by them.

Truth be told, marriage is not compulsory, but it is important. If you can do without it, go ahead. What is most important is the quality of life you live and how impactful it is. If marriage will be a barrier to fulfilling destiny, don't go for it.

But again, you are only scared of uncertainty. But the thing about life is that; there's always this 'certain uncertainty' and that's what makes it the more beautiful. He that considers the wind, will not sow. Same way, he you decide to dwell on the negatives you've noticed from your folks, you might just poison your mind so bad you'll give up on happy marriage life.

Whether people see you as irresponsible if you don't marry is not really important. What's important is if you are actually irresponsible or not. Marriage doesn't define a person- there are millions cheating on their partners while in marriage.

Finally, I guess you are still quite young that's why you are seeing it this way.( Just like a 5year old seeing his parent kissing for the 1st time. He'll react with disgust; but x years later.......) Same way, I believe in some years time, you'll meet a nice girl, fall in Love, and what we are talking about now, will become stories for the gods.

KanwuliaJara:
When you stop asking the kinds of questions you are saddled with on this thread.
Too much self-doubt makes recipes for FAILURES!
You need more of self-confidence to know what you want from what you don't want.
You are not there yet. . .and may never get there!

Explain oooo,where am I not yet?

Dapo777:


Explain oooo,where am I not yet?

People who are ready for marriage do not ask the kinds of questions you are asking here!
Simple!

5minsmadness:
Since you are the only son I doubt if your parents are going to let you alone about the marriage thing. If you don't get married it means your father's lineage will end at you, forever. That's a hard baggage to carry.

Having said that, come on, marriage isn't that bad, don't fill your mind with the things you read online. There are couples that really cant do without each other as in they love each other so much. All these minor minor issues that we read everyday online don't come up with them.

My advice to you is this: Don't marry out of pity, a lot of guys do so these days. They don't love the lady but because they were the ones that 'disvirgined' her or because they have been in a long relationship and don't want to let anybody down, they get married. And then you are in a marriage where you know you don't love the person but decided to marry her anyway out of one reason or the other. That's a bad start.

Be patient. Wait till you see that one girl that you just flow with, that girl who you can talk to freely and discuss everything with, that girl who has the same spiritual /religious beliefs as you do(very very important) that girl who has the same goals as you do. Don't let her pass you by. She will definitely come along and when she does you are the one who will be rushing her to the altar.

Please is religious belief all that important? What if I find a Christian lady that is ready to marry me an atheist?

Or where will I get an atheist lady to marry if religion is So important?

KanwuliaJara:


People who are ready for marriage do not ask the kinds of questions you are asking here!
Simple!

So I might never be ready to marry? Is that What you are saying?

JEITO:
You don't use what is happening between your mum and dad as a yardstick to measure whether your marriage will be successful or not. Why not dwell on the positives instead of negatives: see families having blissful union and be inspired by them.

Truth be told, marriage is not compulsory, but it is important. If you can do without it, go ahead. What is most important is the quality of life you live and how impactful it is. If marriage will be a barrier to fulfilling destiny, don't go for it.

But again, you are only scared of uncertainty. But the thing about life is that; there's always this 'certain uncertainty' and that's what makes it the more beautiful. He that considers the wind, will not sow. Same way, he you decide to dwell on the negatives you've noticed from your folks, you might just poison your mind so bad you'll give up on happy marriage life.

Whether people see you as irresponsible if you don't marry is not really important. What's important is if you are actually irresponsible or not. Marriage doesn't define a person- there are millions cheating on their partners while in marriage.

Finally, I guess you are still quite young that's why you are seeing it this way.( Just like a 5year old seeing his parent kissing for the 1st time. He'll react with disgust; but x years later.......) Same way, I believe in some years time, you'll meet a nice girl, fall in Love, and what we are talking about now, will become stories for the gods.

I am not as young as you think oooo,I am within the age of 18-25, by the way how do I show responsibility as a bachelor?

Dapo777:


So I might never be ready to marry? Is that What you are saying?

Till you stop asking questions and be confident in your ability to function in such a 'matrimonial' role!

Yes!

To know yourself nor be curse abi?

eleojo23:
Someone asked this on a thread: Is Getting Married The Only Thing That Makes A Young Man Responsible?
This was my reply.

I will get married but it will be when I want to. Society isn't going to pressure me to dance to their tune and later regret it. When the problems arise, you'll hear them saying things that will shock you and you would wonder if they were the same people who pushed you into that situation.

Take your time, plan your life and get married when you are ready.
And when you get married, have a good home and people would forget all this brouhaha that's going on now.

Getting married at the age of 40 upwards by that time I would have achieved my life aim,shey nothing do me?

KanwuliaJara:


Till you stop asking questions and be confident in your ability to function in such a 'matrimonial' role!

Yes!

To know yourself nor be curse abi?

Chaiii So its all about being confident ,someone can be confident without having d ability na

Dapo777:


Chaiii So its all about being confident ,someone can be confident without having d ability na

Really?
You are more confused than I thought!

KanwuliaJara:


Really?
You are more confused than I thought!

Ok

Dapo777:


Getting married at the age of 40 upwards by that time I would have achieved my life aim,shey nothing do me?

There is no guarantee that you would have achieved all your life dreams at 40 but you should take your time now to plan your life well and along the line (even before you're 40) you can get married to someone who shares your dreams and is ready to walk down your path with you.

Bro, just get marry to someone you actually love, cherished and adored so much like a sister or your best friend and be ready to make sacrifices.
If not for anything, marry for the continuity of your name/legacy or for someone who will take care of you at old age.

Ladies are like a brand new car for the first few months or years after marriage/purchase. If you must be driving the car (or keep the marriage going), then you must be ready for constant services or maintenance and replacement of bad parts. Mind you, you May have unexpected flat tires on the road (or on the journey of marriage), that doesn't mean that the journey won't be successful. That's the essence of being prepared before embarking on marriage journey.

Men and women are COMPULSORY EVIL - we can't do without each other but we hate and complained about each other

For now you aren't mentally ready,when you are,nobody will tell you..

For now so many thing is be-clouding your sense of reasoning toward marriage,with time,you will be faced with reality of having a partner.

Please,this is solely my opinion.

Dapo777:


Please is religious belief all that important? What if I find a Christian lady that is ready to marry me an atheist?

Then she's not a smart christian lady and will regret it on the long run.

Or where will I get an atheist lady to marry if religion is So important?

Lol. You are too young to be talking about atheism. I initially put you at 17 but since you said you are 18-24 I'll still guess you are less than 20. There's still a lot in life for you to experience. If you are still an atheist at 30 then we can talk.


All the same it is better to be with someone who shares your beliefs wether atheist or otherwise. It makes marriage all the more smoother.

5minsmadness:

Then she's not a smart christian lady and will regret it on the long run.



Lol. You are too young to be talking about atheism. I initially put you at 17 but since you said you are 18-24 I'll still guess you are less than 20. There's still a lot in life for you to experience. If you are still an atheist at 30 then we can talk.


All the same it is better to be with someone who shares your beliefs wether atheist or otherwise. It makes marriage all the more smoother.

Excuse me.

What's the relationship between religious belief And age?


If you say I am too young to be an atheist, Then you must also agree that I am too young to be a Christian, that It's until I am 30 And still remain a Christian that we can talk.

Why do people always believe Dat being an atheist requires 10 years of conviction.

In the next 50 years I don't see myself believing in a sky daddy. It's too fairy tale like to me.

By the way I am not less than 20. I don't know What you have observed to make you belittle my age.

eleojo23:


There is no guarantee that you would have achieved all your life dreams at 40 but you should take your time now to plan your life well and along the line (even before you're 40) you can get married to someone who shares your dreams and is ready to walk down your path with you.

Everything is set in order for me. It's only a matter of counting the years for me.

Only death that can take away my life dreams

Dapo777:


Excuse me.

What's the relationship between religious belief And age?


If you say I am too young to be an atheist, Then you must also agree that I am too young to be a Christian, that It's until I am 30 And still remain a Christian that we can talk.

Why do people always believe Dat being an atheist requires 10 years of conviction.

In the next 50 years I don't see myself believing in a sky daddy. It's too fairy tale like to me.

By the way I am not less than 20. I don't know What you have observed to make you belittle my age.

You'll find out in 10yrs time

Sorry, didn't mean to belittle your age.

5minsmadness:


You'll find out in 10yrs time

Sorry, didn't mean to belittle your age.

But you still arent making any point. One of my relative was born into a pagan family,he became a christian later later in life. But whenever I discuss with him he still has some pagan beliefs that are contradictory with What is in the Bible And I known he is a Christian because of the society,not truly a Christian.

What role does age play in religion?
None.

My point is. Being born into a religion doesn't make that religion yours.

Well let's wait And see if I will revert back to Christianity at the age of 30.