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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / 6 Truth About Being A Second Wife (4334 Views)
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6 Truth About Being A Second Wife by Ushiefrank(m): 3:14pm On Nov 24, 2014 |
1. I never expected to be a second wife. No one does; no little girl longs to grow up and walk down the aisle to the strains of "Here Comes the Second Bride, All Dressed in an Ivory Suit." But here I am, married to a man who was married before. I am the grown-up woman he married as a grown-up man. We have an ordinary life. It’s not a series of glittering evenings drinking martinis in smoky bars. Instead it is the familiar routine of waking to an arm around your waist, the companionable bathroom talk with mouths full of toothpaste, and the idea that someone will know if you don’t make it home at night. Yet even though we have gallopped past our twentieth year of marriage, I am still considered The Second One by certain of our acquaintances. Go figure. 2. Not many people like a second wife. Not the wives of college friends, not old relatives who can't remember new names but who remember that they shelled out good money for a fancy gift the first time around, and especially not the original wife, who thinks of herself as the bonafidewife. But when a man marries for the second time he knows what he's getting into. He enters willingly, eyes open, arms spread--he's the emotional version of a skydiver. Emerging broken, bruised and bleeding from a previous fall when the parachute didn’tquiteopen, he is nevertheless willing to do it again and at an even greater risk-- everyone knows second marriages are risky. The surprise is this: when the moment comes, the man jumps with alacrity. 3. So why is the phrase “second wife” so unnerving? When even used-car dealers don’t regard themselves as purveyors of second-hand merchandise, when second-hand clothes stores are now consignment shops, why should I stick with the second-wife moniker? It’s not likeIwasn’t married before, too. My husband is as much a second husband as I’m a second wife. In part, this is due to the fact that there is still a contingent for which a marriage without children is only slightly more honorable than a series of one-night stands. Yet we make as felicitous a stepfamily as you are likely to find. 4. Being a second wife and a stepmother is rather like learning to perfect a set of aerial maneuvers. Thereareseriously complicated stunts involved-- trapeze artists have less difficulty in learning when to disappear and resurface at exactly the right moments than your average second wife. And there remains a slight sense of imbalance. His first marriage counted. My first marriage--even though it lasted five years--did not. During my final two years in my first marriage, I was constantly telling my friends how I wanted to make my relationship work. Then I learned that marriages aren’t like cars, independent of the people in them, to be fixed according to an owner's manual. 5. I realized, several years after I remarried, that one of my oldest friends never quite forgave me for getting on with life after my divorce. Treating me with the resentment of a union official watching a house being constructed with non-union labor, my erstwhile friend watched me build up and remodel my life. She has never absolved me from the sin of being happy. 6. To sum up: I am married to a man I love and am lucky. We’d both been married before, but does that really matter? Should second wives post billboards proclaiming that we are not necessarily women who flounce through life wearing ankle bracelets, feather boas, and alligator shoes? As some statistics have it, we are one in every four married women you will meet. Yet we have to shake off the stigma attached to being The Second Wife and say, with a smile, “Yes indeed, I’m his second wife. But I’m his last.” |
Re: 6 Truth About Being A Second Wife by Nobody: 3:20pm On Nov 24, 2014 |
The clumsiness of your post is inimical to a read sir... Don't make me believe the second wives are this untidy. Abi you nah second husband sef ![]() |
Re: 6 Truth About Being A Second Wife by Nobody: 3:36pm On Nov 24, 2014 |
“Yes indeed, I’m his second wife. But I’m his last.” Rotfl! Delusional! 5 Likes |
Re: 6 Truth About Being A Second Wife by KanwuliaJara: 4:29pm On Nov 24, 2014 |
2 Likes |
Re: 6 Truth About Being A Second Wife by Nobody: 5:09pm On Nov 24, 2014 |
KanwuliaJara: where do you pick all these your videos. The hustle is real LMAO on 'when you leave, i will become the main b1tch'. I guess OP, is the same with this loretta. classic video ![]() |
Re: 6 Truth About Being A Second Wife by KanwuliaJara: 5:57pm On Nov 24, 2014 |
Chillisauce: AKPROKO! You nor hearrram? "Awa baby VALLY BOY"! ![]() The kain tin wey I dey see for youtube eh? I get them plenty for my phone o. I just dey wait make dem land youtube ke. Thanks to WATSSSSSSSSSSSAP!!!! Super classic video!!! Naija women go dey make mouth say dem get husbands for Nigeria ke! ![]() 1 Like |
Re: 6 Truth About Being A Second Wife by SAMBARRY: 7:44pm On Nov 24, 2014 |
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() K BABY.BABY FIRE ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() KanwuliaJara: |
Re: 6 Truth About Being A Second Wife by Nobody: 7:45pm On Nov 24, 2014 |
KanwuliaJara: No be small aproko. See correct gist. ![]() ' if you are not happy, me I'm happy, vali boy is happy '. I don laugh tire. ' pls think about it and let me know so I will become the main b1tch' Oh my. She should win an award, I swear. ![]() |
Re: 6 Truth About Being A Second Wife by Nobody: 7:46pm On Nov 24, 2014 |
Re: 6 Truth About Being A Second Wife by SAMBARRY: 7:48pm On Nov 24, 2014 |
Chillisauce:BEFORE NKO ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() KANWULIA ABEG PLAY THAT FLAVOUR NABANIYAS MUSIC VIDEO SONG "ASHAWO" ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() I LIKE AM DIE ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Re: 6 Truth About Being A Second Wife by Nobody: 7:52pm On Nov 24, 2014 |
SAMBARRY: Lol. 'You should be happy it's two of us, most of these men have 5, 6 '. ![]() E sure say no be OP make this video when she bin side chick |
Re: 6 Truth About Being A Second Wife by SAMBARRY: 7:57pm On Nov 24, 2014 |
Chillisauce:kanwulia don cause gbege o ![]() 1 Like
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Re: 6 Truth About Being A Second Wife by gregscript: 10:03pm On Nov 24, 2014 |
Need to get churchy like antenna went churchy in this video [embed] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGosbyhJHF0[/embed] Chillisauce: |
Re: 6 Truth About Being A Second Wife by cococandy(f): 11:43pm On Nov 24, 2014 |
ileobatojo:very very |
Re: 6 Truth About Being A Second Wife by KanwuliaJara: 11:49pm On Nov 24, 2014 |
SAMBARRY: Haba! "Ashawo" song is not appropriate for this topic o. Na "Johnny" I go play jor! Why you too dey quick to blame the woman. Who be the ashawo for polygamy? NOR BE THE MAN WEY NOR FIT PUT IM PRICK FOR IM MATRIMONIAL BED? ![]() See the 'desperate to marry NIGERIAN WOMEN'? 10th wife kpa kpa. . . dem go jump h-enter! ![]() https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jf-tCw84qf0 |
Re: 6 Truth About Being A Second Wife by cococandy(f): 11:49pm On Nov 24, 2014 |
gregscript:wow. This is so good. Took me back to Sunday morning mass in my village church. |
Re: 6 Truth About Being A Second Wife by bukatyne(f): 9:10am On Nov 25, 2014 |
I think the OP is referring to married women who were once married/who are married to divorced men and not second wife of a married man who is still with his first(polygamy) ![]() @OP: People dislike the second to infinto wives in a polygamous home because they are seen as thieves and reaping where they did not sow ![]() People dislike a wife married to a divorced man when they know the previous wife but with time, they might soften All in all, it is best you live your life for yourself only! |
Re: 6 Truth About Being A Second Wife by SAMBARRY: 9:32am On Nov 25, 2014 |
Roftl no be longer throat and laziness dey make women do 3rd 2nd etc wife.abi which man dey do second husband.abeg play ashawo joor ![]() KanwuliaJara: |
Re: 6 Truth About Being A Second Wife by KanwuliaJara: 10:12am On Nov 25, 2014 |
SAMBARRY: Naaaah! When it comes to a man's wandering pehnis. . . I CAN NEVER INSULT ANOTHER WOMAN WHO DECIDES TO PLAY SIDE BITCH! Any man or woman that wonders out of his or her matrimonial bed. . . . IS COMMUNAL PROP-TY! ![]() I do play 'side-bytch' even where I am a MAIN BYTCH myself! When you get to that level. . . .you will understand! Let us just say. . . .MANY MARRIED PEOPLE FIND TRUE LOVE. . . .ONLY AFTER THEY HAVE CHANTED 'I DO'! ![]() It may not be true love. . . BUT TRUE LUST. It is VERRRRRRRRRRRRRRY, VERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRY SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET! "Lets keep it moving"! ![]() |
Re: 6 Truth About Being A Second Wife by SAMBARRY: 10:18am On Nov 25, 2014 |
Ok o ![]() I'm keeping it moving ![]() KanwuliaJara:
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Re: 6 Truth About Being A Second Wife by KanwuliaJara: 10:20am On Nov 25, 2014 |
1 Like |
Re: 6 Truth About Being A Second Wife by tintingz(m): 10:23am On Nov 25, 2014 |
Some women just prefer Polygamy ![]() |
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