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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Marriages Then Vs Marriages Now (26927 Views)
Why Most Marriages Never Exceed 10years / Reasons Why Most Marriages Fail In Nigeria / Arranged Marriages Were Better Than Modern Marriages. (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Marriages Then Vs Marriages Now by PassingShot(m): 4:00am On Nov 28, 2014 |
[quote author=Billyonaire post=28382619] The very reason Islam promote illiteracy amongst women is to make sure women remain loyal to men, so was it those days, because men refuse to train their daughters too, out of ignorance and dependence on men as bread winners, /quote] Your comment here is myopic to say the least. The OP compares a practice prevalent in the olden days to what obtains now and seeking genuine reasons for their success rate or otherwise. But instead of you to address the issue intelligently, you have to lump a practice which was engaged in by all tribes and religion, to Islam. One doesn't need to dignify your post with a proper response but to pity the level you have attained in your phobia for Islam. 1 Like |
Re: Marriages Then Vs Marriages Now by xakjustice(m): 4:33am On Nov 28, 2014 |
Billyonaire: in just 1 sentence sir, u are mistaking islam allow equal education 4 both male n female. If u see some people are discriminating e.g some abokis dat is dia tradition not islam thank u. Back 2 d topic, the reason of much devorce dis dayz is simply END TIME 1 Like |
Re: Marriages Then Vs Marriages Now by Gerrard59(m): 5:16am On Nov 28, 2014 |
donroxy: Hopefully you work in the Public sector and not the Private sector, if not, then your hypocrisy stinks to high heavens. Capitalism is the economic system we have and can have, Proven and Trusted. @Topic, thumbs up to. sophyrocks and Co. Marriage is not for everybody and certainly not an achievement. Making it look like one is what's the cause of the so-called high rate of divorces. The moment people are allowed to live their lives with or without marriage, as long as they're happy. Divorces would be less |
Re: Marriages Then Vs Marriages Now by Nobody: 5:23am On Nov 28, 2014 |
Emmalot121: Do I know you? 4 Likes |
Re: Marriages Then Vs Marriages Now by tintingz(m): 5:46am On Nov 28, 2014 |
Billyonaire:@ bolded where was it stated?? ![]() |
Re: Marriages Then Vs Marriages Now by tintingz(m): 5:53am On Nov 28, 2014 |
donroxy:Well said. ![]() 3 Likes |
Re: Marriages Then Vs Marriages Now by Wagasigiungu(m): 6:37am On Nov 28, 2014 |
Billyonaire:I beg to disagree with you sir. Please where did you get the impression that islam promotes illiteracy among women? To the contrary, islam exhorts all true muslims, irrespective of gender, to seek for knowledge. A knowledgeable lady imparts that knowledge to her children. Moreover amongst the very 1st of divine revelations to the Holy Prophet of Islam was the command to READ. "IQRA". Just clarifying bro. Thanks and one love. 1 Like |
Re: Marriages Then Vs Marriages Now by mensdept: 7:12am On Nov 28, 2014 |
See how people are even running their mouth. The truth is society is getting worse worldwide, and this societies that believe in their culture, as opposed to dependence on borrowed culture, marriage is still meaningful and successful. Look at Nigeria. Were there bad and abusive marriages back then? Yes of course. Was there corruption back then? Yes of course. But compare it to now? In America, it was a shame to beg and take handouts in the 1960s. Now, nearly 2/3 of society take one form of handouts and are not ashamed. Look at television as well. Shows that could not air back then like Maury, are now status quo, yet no alarm anywhere. Could Orji Kalu be governor of Abia state or any region say 1965? Heck no, but today, it's easy. So, modern times have witnessed many women getting away with absolute crazy behavior, and men not activity like men, and in fact corrupted, so of course, the trend for high divorce |
Re: Marriages Then Vs Marriages Now by Edusouls(m): 8:17am On Nov 28, 2014 |
all these trash talks are baseless, the real reason is that those days we had much superior humans, both in male and female, the sense of responsibility is there,respect, loyalty,reasoning is there, humility was there,materialism was not there, being contented was there, honesty is there, and most of all love was highly valued.. with time the western education spread across the globe, and influenced most civilizations, the western education has its horrible short comings, it badly deceived women and made them feel that they are just equal to the man.empowered women with the tool to make a living independent of the man, women are species that gets more proud,troublesome,and more ruthless with the grab of money and power, women destroyed the union of the home,and family,the primary task endowed to them by nature wich is very vital for the happiness of humanity,things went south, and the problem is that is that it will only get worse.... |
Re: Marriages Then Vs Marriages Now by holyboss: 8:17am On Nov 28, 2014 |
Re: Marriages Then Vs Marriages Now by deife(m): 8:24am On Nov 28, 2014 |
Lordabas: You spoke my mind. 2 Likes |
Re: Marriages Then Vs Marriages Now by Davivah: 8:40am On Nov 28, 2014 |
Billyonaire: I don't get your point Mr; U could av said Culture prohibited females from getting educated n Not Islam |
Re: Marriages Then Vs Marriages Now by Nobody: 8:48am On Nov 28, 2014 |
Davivah:Islam is biased about education, and its even worst when its western education. Girls do not have opportunity to get proper education in most Islamic states. in Saudi Arabia, the home country of Mohammed (where Osama is also from), women are not allowed to drive, not allowed to join the police or military, not allowed to go into sports except recently when few ladies are showcased for image laundering. And guess what ? Women are forced to wear veils covering their sexy natural curves. I am just saying it the way it is, I am not religious and I will never be. 2 Likes |
Re: Marriages Then Vs Marriages Now by midelarry: 8:49am On Nov 28, 2014 |
Yes marriage of those days do last longer because every women then respect their husband like god,summissive to their husband authority also seeking advise and permission from their husband before doing anything in those days but nowadays competing of power with their husband at home instead of compliment their husband and show a good value for their children to learn. |
Re: Marriages Then Vs Marriages Now by shyshally(f): 8:52am On Nov 28, 2014 |
I think about this too some days.you know,in olden days,your parents make the decision for you and the issue of love was not rampant.so when you get married,you have the mindset to make the marriage work,and as someone said,the issue of women and mens right was not rampant .the internet plays a role too. These days if someone gets married,and the marriage is not going on smoothly,the person starts regretting saying I would have married so so and not this person. |
Re: Marriages Then Vs Marriages Now by Nobody: 8:55am On Nov 28, 2014 |
Gerrard59:Your mode of reading stinks of comprehension problem and limited faculty ! I'm in both Public and Private sector ! Did I condemned Capitalism as an effective system of economy ? I only made people realised the impact of capitalism as a system of economy and global economic meltdown on our homes ........ Everybody now goes exra-miles to make ends meet @ the detriment of relationships !! Which one is difficult for you to comprehend in those simple english !! |
Re: Marriages Then Vs Marriages Now by terefe(m): 9:26am On Nov 28, 2014 |
Billyonaire:Thats a misinformation sir.. 'If a educate a man, its as if u have educated just one person... But if u educate a woman, its as if you have educated the world'' words of Muhammad(saw)... Not derailing, just thought to bring it to your notice. 4 Likes |
Re: Marriages Then Vs Marriages Now by Nobody: 9:32am On Nov 28, 2014 |
holyboss:na 2dae, by 3pm ![]() |
Re: Marriages Then Vs Marriages Now by uzolexis(f): 9:33am On Nov 28, 2014 |
F117AA:These days paying rent and other financial responsibilities is not shouldered by the man alone,so there's nothing like whoever pays the rent owns the house. |
Re: Marriages Then Vs Marriages Now by Nobody: 9:50am On Nov 28, 2014 |
Sophyrocks:you said it all |
Re: Marriages Then Vs Marriages Now by Nobody: 9:52am On Nov 28, 2014 |
IYANGBALI:sorry what is marriage? I school in France ![]() |
Re: Marriages Then Vs Marriages Now by sparkyNo1(f): 9:52am On Nov 28, 2014 |
In those days, most men were polygamous... these days, more men are monogamous but still have mistresses and love-children outside marriage. In those days, everything about marriage was hush-hush and people suffered in silence...these days, women and men are more outspoken and social media contributes a lot in this regard. In those days, women were ignorant and highly dependent on their husbands... these days, it is becoming a thing of the past. I think it is difficult to say if marriages were truly successful in the past because a lot of people where silent about their challenges. 2 Likes |
Re: Marriages Then Vs Marriages Now by Truckpusher(m): 9:53am On Nov 28, 2014 |
IYANGBALI:Iyangbali.....That your bobi na die,the thing get ear? ![]() I hear say some bobi get ears sha. ![]() |
Re: Marriages Then Vs Marriages Now by bukatyne(f): 10:01am On Nov 28, 2014 |
mutter: @bold, so on point @post, great People confuse marriage length with marriage success/bliss. In reality, I will say the marriages now are better than the marriages then. |
Re: Marriages Then Vs Marriages Now by bukatyne(f): 10:04am On Nov 28, 2014 |
Emmalot121: What is wrong with helping a husband/wife massage his/her toes? |
Re: Marriages Then Vs Marriages Now by dBard: 10:10am On Nov 28, 2014 |
How were Most marriages arranged?? So emotions like love n hate were nonexistent then ![]() ![]() How do u expect an intelligent discourse wen d initial premise is wrong? A lot of u need t read up on history or beta yet go back t d village t find out from d elders how tins were done then. s.m.h ![]() |
Re: Marriages Then Vs Marriages Now by IYANGBALI: 10:24am On Nov 28, 2014 |
Mondisweets:see your mouth,na who dash you visa? ![]() |
Re: Marriages Then Vs Marriages Now by IYANGBALI: 10:25am On Nov 28, 2014 |
Truckpusher:I go wound you o |
Re: Marriages Then Vs Marriages Now by Nobody: 10:28am On Nov 28, 2014 |
IYANGBALI:what visa again? I was a passenger on my friend's broom ![]() |
Re: Marriages Then Vs Marriages Now by Truckpusher(m): 10:37am On Nov 28, 2014 |
Re: Marriages Then Vs Marriages Now by tiwiex(m): 10:47am On Nov 28, 2014 |
I have read most of the comments from the most hilarious to the most thought provoking. This is a very serious topic that would determine to a great extent where we will be as a people in not too distant a future. A bit of every comment makes sense and would not down play anyones opinion. I would just share my thoughts. The impact of the family as the smallest unit of the society has been lost a long time ago. We sail with the wind and the environment makes it clear that bad is good and good is bad. Having said that, this is my primary take. Marriages and relationships have been ruined by SOCIAL NETWORKS. I would use some ECONOMIC terms in the area of CHOICES and INVESTMENT to make my point. As already observed, our parents had few choices and had not much basis for comparison. A woman was seen as a woman weather arranged or otherwise. There were limited means of sustaining communication or establishing contacts with too many women. Even as a kid, all we had were land lines and that was scarce. You had to call your babe at home and hope her dad did not pick. Those calls were priceless and required a huge sacrifice for who you call. Nowadays, that sacrifice is not so much. You have multiple babes and guys a phone call away even at midnight. You could choose to stay connected via texts and instant messages and silly status messages that drag you into conversations that don't concern you. Maintaining a partners interest is so CHEAP. Now you would have had previously difficult if not impossible relationship with a guy in France (what is it with France and Nairaland these days?). Your friend sends you the pin of a girl friend's friend and before you know it, you are in each others head without even meeting. I really don't understand the psychology of being interested in someone you have not seen in flesh over someone begging you to your face. My point is that your CHOICES pile up. You have easily dated the funny guy, the so great in bed guy, the tall guy, the fat guy, the guy who just collected your phone number while waiting in the bank, the guy who walks up to you and says you look like Beyonce (if you love Beyonce, you are done) etc. People you otherwise would have seen only once and forgotten them forever. These choices lead to all sorts of confusion after marriage. The Exes are still a call away, a ping away and before you know it, you share marital issues with exes and get awesome consolation (especially from guys who are having the same marital problems like you). Yet they seem like a consolation in your time of need. It is easy to share revealing pictures. Something your spouse might have stopped doing with you (probably because he has his own online girlfriend). Then, disaster stirkes when you relight one of your numerous exes who also has issues. This wouldn't have happened if you had not easily established and maintained contact. Then you have the God Fearing finders on Badoo and othe pickup sites who are 1km away. (what is it with God Fearing needs?) I can go on and on but you get. In summary, SOCIAL NETWORK provides us with too many CHOICES and very low INVESTMENTS. You can maintain 4 relationships without leaving the confines of your room. How can a man choose or decide? You can as well have them all. Everyone has a flaw and we just mix and merge to satisfy all flaws instead of sticking your decision between two people which would have been easy. I also refer you to a book by Dan Gilbert "Stumbling on Happiness". It talks a lot about multiple choices putting us in a state of sadness. How do we reduce these multiple choices. We get busy, reduce our time on the Social Network (Like I am on Naira Land now. arrhhhh). But can we? And it seems the harm is already done. We have already met the multiple partners. It would take a lot of discipline, commitment and long term thinking that it always leads to disaster to change us. I worry that the bonds have already been established. (Phew. My longest post on NL). 3 Likes |
Re: Marriages Then Vs Marriages Now by Nobody: 10:51am On Nov 28, 2014 |
Then, women had no choice than to endure whatever they experienced in their marriage. Now, they are more 'enlightened' & ask for divorce when they like. |
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