My name's Sam , I was sitting in my house this sunny Sunday morning watching my favorite cartoon , The Avatar on my beloved 32 Inch Samsung 3D TV

Earlier on , I did some laundry , cleaned my house and moped my rug , took my huge bed outside to sun dry (i spilled some magic moment on ot last night ) sitting on a white pastic chair quoting and commenting on nairaland

Then I caught a glimpse of someone at my door (which I left open for the rug to dry off )with black tee shirt , blue jean and a rugged timberland , entering without knocking , I leapt off the chair and blocked him at the door , Are you looking for someone ? You should have knocked

I saw his eyes scanning my sitting room , caught his looks fixated on the laptop I left open and he had this satisfactory smile which lasted a few seconds , then he tried to come in flashing his ID card , : I am a police officer from state CID , we heard information that ......I cut him off, Oga police , this is my house , that rug I spent hours making it look shiny , kindly put off your put , He says my friend , I'm a policeman , I said I'm a law abiding citizen and this is where I live , pray and entertain visitors , kindly pull off your boots , seeing he's not gonna oblige , In that case officer , wipe your boot outside , there's a floor mat there

Undecidedly goes outside , makes a call and two other people came in , Officers, good afternoon , kindly wipe your feet off before coming in

Next thing is , we heard information and we are here to search your house ,Well no problem , wipe your feet , how would you like to proceed , he says what's there in your wardrobe , I'm like wait a second , if you heard information , you must have a warrant or full report or petition , kindly show me any of that .

The younger officer K brings out his ID card and shows me Police warrant card , I said that's not a search warrant , The officer with big build says you want a warrant ? I will write one now , then I said according to the constitution , producing a copy of adeyombo's business law text book, A judge is supposed to sign a warrant .


Before anything else , who owns that Jaguar outside ,Jaguar ? I didn't notice any jaguar , I've not been out today anyways ..I mean the green car , Oh ... You meant Rover ? Its mine , the documents are inside let's go check it . We got outside , I gave him documents he checked asking series of questions which I answered as honestly as I could. Meanwhile one officer says let's go back inside we need to search thoroughly , I have a way of arranging stuffs so I offered to bring everything out in order . One compartment down , just receipts , text books ,note books , jotters , diagnosing machines with receipt of purchase and loads of condoms

Younger officer : Alaye o bad gaan o. Only you ? I explained my sister's a nurse , she owns a wine shop which I supervise and whenever she comes around he never gives me money , saying I already make enough profit but she can dash me a whole year's supply of condoms buhahahaha hehehehe hahahaha , I was surprised , so Police dey laugh honest laugh ? I said that in my thoughts though , they found receipts for deposits as much as 200k for Spare parts , and then the grilling started over again

Sam , wetin be your work self ? Oga, for now I no dey work , I commot for shop and leave the QS consulting firm wey i bin dey to pursue higher degree , I'm married with kids and I have a family , so don't let my stature fool you . besides , I rent out both of my diagnosing machines to electricians (rewire) so I have funds / means of livelyhood......OK

Now this lappie , wey the receipt , I searched frantically , I couldn't find it , perhaps I was nervous , perhaps I was worried . then I remembered , the engineer that I purchased this laptop from lives close by, if receipt is why these people will obtain me , I will call him to testify

Remember I said the laptop was on , they went over started opening notepads , and files , I went over to look ,not because I had an exhibit , rather , the engineer used my PC for backup while I was upgrading my keyboard , some files may be implicating , I just needed to be sure .

Eventually , officer with bigger build says , my friend , you are coming with us to Osogbo , What did I do wrong ? He says first off , your laptop has not receipt , secondly , your explanation about your car is not satisfactory , meanwhile their station is like two towns away , he says and yes , we will have to bring that car , I said no problem especially if you can magically start a car that won't even crank , I burnt the gasket , Ehn. OK let's take his laptop we will get him down to station where we can analyze the computer . No problem officer let's go

In my mind , kai , these people don get me be this o. The other mind kept saying nothing joor , you are not yahooing, you don't have format or exhibits there. Then I thought of my family , should I call ? No enough is going on at home , I shouldn't be another source of worries

So, we went out of my gate then officer J told me to come back with him into the compound with him , which I did , meanwhile another neighbor in the next flat left his sound system on , pretty loud , Younger officer and and the officer with big build went to the apt , later I learnt that they entered checked the house and demanded receipt for all electronics , the boy at home said everything's there but his brother owns the apt , he just lives there turns out they know the guy who lives in the apt so they just left

Back to me ,Officer J wanted to know what I had ,I assumed he meant settlement to which I replied honestly that I spend a lot as such I made it an habit not to withdraw funds unless I need ,besides I had tried ATM earlier that morning , it didn't work , but more importantly, I had a sister who is terribly sick ,she's at Hospital , kidney related problems I had sent what I had to the family for dialysis and stuffs I hardly have enough to spare, just then the two other officers returned said why's J talking to me , they have to take me down to OS, their Oga already heard about the situation and he wants to meet me . If that's the next thing officer , No problem let's go .

I got into their mini bus (Korope) I looked around to see if anyone had opened shop , borrow some cash and let this people go , I have a major project defense and test on Monday , unfortunately everyone just got to shop , End of the month's sanitation exercise , non of them was able to raise funds. I'm assuming its a Yoruba mentality , they haven't made sales so if they lend some cash to me , they will lend cash to people throughout the day.

Anyways they were driving me , then they saw a FBN ATM machine , Sam , as you say you no hold cash , you wan try this ATM ? I said no problem , got there and non of the 5 machine was dispensing. Another bank dey ? Sure , Unity dey we got there there were about 50 people on the queue , Which ATM be that self , I said Skye bank , Skye bank ATM no dey ? He dey nah but na front front. Oya make we reach there nah if he go work.

Speeding towards Skye bank Officer J saw a young guy driving a corolla sport blue car , told the driver of the minivan catch that boy for me, we turned around caught the boy , they asked him for his documents what he does for a living , his drivers licence , he gave them vehicle documents , gave them his work ID card , they are still not satisfied , he does not have driver's licence so legally he's not qualified to drive on the road , if he can afford a car , he should be able to afford a licence , So he has to turn around they'll have to take him to Osogbo too

Officer K , go enter that vehicle make you follow us for bac . Long story short they sped past us , they got to Skye bank before us only to discover its wasn't on at all , we branched at Wema bank before Skye , no luck either , the corolla guy too wasn't able to get cash , his fuel got finished , they left him at the roadside they took me outskirts of the town gave me two numbers to call on Monday when I told them I might have some cash

One of the officers said they'd hold on to the laptop as guarantee to make sure I'll arrange on Monday , I persuaded officer J that my projects and stuffs are on the lappie , it'll affect me and the first impression , our first meeting would create bad vibes if we depart on the previous terms ( taking my laptop with them )

Officer J agreed but reminded me I have to arrange next week or they'll come back ,


So what do I do ? Should I sort as a Nigerian is expected to or shall I forward this to the higher ups ? I'm not afraid of letting them check my laptop

Honest advice please

The end

.

dg

Lol. Those clowns that pose as police officers can ask silly questions ehn

you got served.
but you sound material-freak sha
are WizKid brother ?

holatin:
you got served.
but you sound material-freak sha
are WizKid brother ?

Very funny

This film go sweeeeeeet o!

*spreads carpet*

You are not serious.

*folds carpet and unfollows thread* Mcheeeeeeeeeeeeew

Gboliwe:
You are not serious.

*folds carpet and unfollows thread* Mcheeeeeeeeeeeeew

Oga wait collect your house key wey you forget nah. You see my post for entertainment or joke section ? Na you dey mess since.

carry dey go jooor. We no send you