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Sex Outside Marriage; What's The Big Deal? - Romance - Nairaland

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Sex Outside Marriage; What's The Big Deal? by CuteEmma(f): 8:05pm On Dec 03, 2014
The sexual revolution
of the '60s encouraged
us to liberate
ourselves from old
sexual taboos. Millions
did. What have we
learned?
Of all the gifts God has
given mankind, one of the
most beautiful and
meaningful is the gift of
sexuality. Yet it's also one
of the most abused.
Sex plays a vital part in
God's plan for human
beings. The first
command recorded in the
Bible that God gave to
Adam and Eve was to
have sexual relations
(Genesis:1:28). He
essentially repeated the
command in
Genesis:2:24-25:
"Therefore a man shall
leave his father and
mother and be joined to
his wife, and they shall
become one flesh. And
they were both naked, the
man and his wife, and
were not ashamed."
One aspect that should
leap out at us from verse
24 is that God created sex
for marriage. But the 20th
century brought dramatic
changes in attitudes
toward what is
considered to be proper
sexual behavior.
The sexual revolution of
the '60s resulted in a
drastic relaxation of sexual
mores and—aided by
easy availability of birth-
control pills—created the
notion that freewheeling
sex had practically no
consequences. The idea of
sex with no repercussions
led to slogans such as "If
it feels good, do it!"
Advocates of sexual
freedom said that, since
sex is enjoyable, we
should shed our
inhibitions and jump in.
What they didn't say,
however, is that sex is
never consequence-free,
and sex outside of
marriage is heavily laden
with negative
repercussions, especially
for girls and women.
The audible furor that
accompanied the sexual
experimentation of the
'60s is no longer as loud,
but the revolution was
successful in that to a
considerable extent the
extreme behaviors of that
time are now
commonplace.
The results have been
monumental—and
devastating in many
countries. As former
Harvard University
professor Pitirim Sorokin
observed about changes
in sexual standards: "Any
considerable change in
marriage behavior, any
increase in sexual
promiscuity, and illicit
relations, is pregnant with
momentous
consequences. A sex
revolution drastically
affects the lives of
millions, deeply disturbs
the community, and
decisively influences the
future of society" ( The
American Sex Revolution,
1956, p. 7).
The sexual revolution was
not just an American
phenomenon. Europe
experienced its own
upheaval. In fact, much of
the world joined in
throwing off sexual
restraint. Why are millions
of Africans infected with
the AIDS virus? "The
sexual revolution of the
1960s and 1970s in the
West spread globally and
penetrated Africa ... We
know of many cases
where young people,
children really, are already
sexually
active"
Re: Sex Outside Marriage; What's The Big Deal? by ronald4lif(m): 8:10pm On Dec 03, 2014
There's no big deal in premarital sex, when one feel the urge they should enjoy, no time
Re: Sex Outside Marriage; What's The Big Deal? by CuteEmma(f): 8:13pm On Dec 03, 2014
The shocking numbers
The level of premarital
sexual activity in Western
nations is extraordinary.
Establishing exact data can
be elusive, but one report
states that the "median
age of first intercourse for
American boys is 15.5"
and "for American girls it
is 16".
Circumstances are similar
in Britain, where "the
average age for both
sexes to lose their virginity
is 16".
Premarital sexual activity
among French girls is also
extremely high. "Whereas
it used to be the case that
for 50 per cent of French
women their first sexual
partner would be the man
they would marry, by the
1990s it was only true for
10 per cent".
Although these figures are
bad enough, even more
shocking is the rampant
promiscuity among so
many. For example,
among Britain's 16- to 24-
year-olds, "19.7 percent of
men and 14.6 percent of
women have already had
10 or more
partners". And even here in Nigeria.
Re: Sex Outside Marriage; What's The Big Deal? by ITbomb(m): 8:16pm On Dec 03, 2014
Next time you want to do copy and paste, do it well.

This thing fine for your eyes as e dey so?
Re: Sex Outside Marriage; What's The Big Deal? by aristocrazzy: 8:21pm On Dec 03, 2014
Its not really our fault, our hormones secretes extravagantly these days. What can be done.
Re: Sex Outside Marriage; What's The Big Deal? by CuteEmma(f): 8:27pm On Dec 03, 2014
The telling
consequences:
The consequences of
premarital sexual
involvement are
damaging on many
levels. On an emotional
level they often include a
profound sense of guilt,
shame and regret.
During the '60s and '70s
many young people were
"liberated" to believe that
one-night stands were not
only acceptable but
desirable. This dogma
was badly flawed. These are the ways such
an encounter can affect a young woman:
"A young girl spends 'the
rest of the night crying
and bleeding' after she
loses her virginity to a
guy she barely knew".
In recent years a new
term, "hooking up," has
sprouted on Nigerian
college campuses for
what used to be called
"quickie" sexual
interaction. A hookup
may involve a range of
intimate activities from
kissing to forms of sex
and usually involves
alcohol. It is sex without
commitment or emotional
involvement, usually
between people who
know little if anything
about each other and
expect nothing more from
each other than the
gratification of that lone
encounter.
According to a survey, "40 percent of
college women have
hooked up at least once,
and 10 percent more than
six times".
The empty ritual leaves
many young women
feeling used, disillusioned
and burdened with
emotional confusion.
Different motivations
for sex
Whether the setting is a
one-night stand or sex
within a relationship, the
pressure on young
women to engage in illicit
sex relations is intense.
Premarital sexual
involvement is perhaps
most apt to occur when a
couple begins dating
steadily. Couples use
various rationales to
justify sex, such as "It's
okay if you're in love,"
"Everybody's doing it" or
"We need to sleep
together before we get
married so we can know
if we are sexually
compatible."
None of these
rationalizations is realistic.
It's important for young
women to realize that
their motives for having
sex are often quite
different from those of a
man. Women often
consider that intercourse
will solidify a relationship
with their partner, but to a
young man it often
represents something
different; a coming of age
or, in too many cases,
simply another conquest.
Males are constructed
differently emotionally and
psychologically and often
pursue sex purely for
pleasure's sake, with no
thought to a relationship.
When a woman has a
casual sexual relationship,
later she will often regret
it, especially when hopes
for an enduring
relationship are dashed.
Her male partner may feel
like a victor, but she often
feels like a victim.
And indeed she is. If a girl
dates someone whom
she thinks is "the one,"
she usually does not
enhance her chances of
maintaining a relationship
by giving in sexually.
Often, after he has had his
way, he will simply
discard her. Such an
action demonstrates that
he was not the one after
all. If a man jilts a woman
because she will not
surrender sexually, she is
not losing much. Such
men are interested in
using a woman's body
for their own gratification
rather than being
interested in her as a
person or pursuing a
lifelong relationship.
Girls who take a stand and
refuse to consent to
sexual relations before
marriage are wise. When
they surrender their
bodies in premarital sex,
they lose a precious part
of themselves that they
can never regain.
By holding fast to her
virginity, a girl will, in the
long run, win the respect
of many males. As a
university student
explained, "... In the real
world, the more casual
that women allow their
physical relationships with
men to become, the less
respect they
earn".
Re: Sex Outside Marriage; What's The Big Deal? by thegoodone2(m): 8:30pm On Dec 03, 2014
stay single if u cant obey ur husband rule.
Re: Sex Outside Marriage; What's The Big Deal? by Nobody: 8:39pm On Dec 03, 2014
Re: Sex Outside Marriage; What's The Big Deal? by CuteEmma(f): 8:40pm On Dec 03, 2014
Less-obvious
consequences:
Though some respects,
a girl who experiments
with premarital or
extramarital sex may
suffer more severely than
a male who does so. Men
are also damaged by illicit
sex. In addition to their
own later feelings of guilt
for having used young
women, they often find it
hard to build and maintain
a long-term relationship
with one other person.
Any sexual
experimentation outside of
marriage is a mistake. A
man will never be the
same in the sense that he
has surrendered a part of
himself that he should
have reserved for his
bride. Premarital sex may
provide momentary
gratification, but the result
is a loss of the purity that
God intended. Each
conquest robs him of
some of the care and
tenderness he should be
cultivating for just the
right girl.
Much of the attraction of
sex outside of marriage is
based on its illicit nature.
The attitude that "stolen
water is sweet, and bread
eaten in secret is
pleasant" (Proverbs:9:17)
has been around for a
long time.
Sometimes couples find
sex to be intense and
gratifying before they
marry but after marriage
discover it is not as
exciting to them. Once
they have devalued their
respect for each other
through premarital sex
before marriage, rarely
can they find the same
attraction and respect
shared by couples who
marry without premarital
sex.
Many couples who have
sex before marriage find
that it actually dampens
the feelings they have for
each other and, as a
result, dampens their
long-term sexual
enjoyment. Their violation
of God's law in
succumbing to premarital
sexual activity removes
some of the beauty and
splendor their married
sexual relations could
have had.
There is another danger in
succumbing to sexual
temptation, even if getting
married is your intent.
The possibility always
exists that you may for
some reason decide
against marrying this
person. When this
happens you have,
through sexual
involvement, given a part
of yourself to someone
other than your spouse, a
part you should have
saved for your future wife
or husband.
When two people
become "one flesh" in a
sexual relationship (1
Corinthians:6:16), a
bonding occurs between
them. If, after they
become sexually involved,
one partner severs the
relationship against the
wishes of the other, the
separation has a
wrenching effect,
especially for the jilted
person, who is left feeling
mentally and emotionally
burned.
Sex counselors and
schools, though we barely have them in this part of the world, push
contraceptive devices as a
means of assuring "safe
sex," but no device can
protect a person's heart.
When the heart is
assaulted, defensive
patterns develop that will
affect any future
relationship.

1 Like

Re: Sex Outside Marriage; What's The Big Deal? by Swizdoe(m): 8:46pm On Dec 03, 2014
Another brainwashed religious bigot
Re: Sex Outside Marriage; What's The Big Deal? by CuteEmma(f): 8:48pm On Dec 03, 2014
The Permanent injury:
The hazards and negative
consequences of adultery
are numerous.
Extramarital affairs also
generally bring intense
feelings of guilt and
shame. When discovered
—as affairs often are—the
result is often permanent
injury or destruction of
the marriage, with severe
damage to relationships
between other family
members and friends.
Some couples can put
their marriages back
together when one mate
has had an affair, yet the
infidelity inflicts a wound
that is difficult if not
impossible to heal. The
betrayed wife or husband
will likely never feel
completely secure again.
The quality of the
marriage will suffer
because trust has been
violated. Even if the
wound can heal, the scars
remain.
Divorce proceedings are
rarely cordial, but those
that occur because of
marital infidelity are
among the most hostile.
When sexual betrayal
from one whose love was
expected to last for life
occurs, it creates
bitterness and resentment
that may never heal.
When children are
involved, the two parties'
lives generally remain
interlocked because of
visitation rights. In such
cases there is no escaping
the continuing hard
feelings. When children
sense the tensions and
animosities, they are often
emotionally scarred as a
result.
The Bible states that
premarital and
extramarital sex are sin
and therefore to be
avoided completely. Why
is God so adamant on this
point? To protect us from
the inevitable harmful
consequences. Notice
Paul's warning to
Christians in the sex-saturated city of Corinth:
"Run away from sexual
sin! No other sin so clearly
affects the body as this
one does. For sexual
immorality is a sin against
your own body" (1
Corinthians:6:18, New
Living Translation).
God created sex to be a
blessing and benefit of a
committed marriage.
When you cheapen your
body by giving it freely
outside of marriage, you
treat your body with
disrespect.
In the King James and
New King James versions
of the Bible, sexual
intercourse in the Old
Testament is referred to
as "knowing." Sexual
relations within the
context of a loving,
committed marriage
enable two people to
know each other in the
most intimate and
personal way.
Loving sex in this context
is deeply satisfying and
creates a unifying of two
lives. It is much more
than simply the coupling
of two bodies. The couple
becomes one flesh as God
intended (Genesis:2:24).
The International Standard
Bible Encyclopedia
describes this kind of
knowledge as "not just
cognitive, but always
experiential and deeply
personal; and sexual
intercourse is never just
physiological, but always
involves mystery and
touches the whole
person".
It is partially the mystery
about the opposite sex
that makes relating to one
another so special. That
mystery is destroyed and
lost forever when human
beings hook up as
casually as many species
of animals do. Our
sexuality is a gift God gave
us. It is so special that it
should be protected and
saved for marriage as
God intended.

1 Like

Re: Sex Outside Marriage; What's The Big Deal? by berylLOL(f): 1:39am On Dec 04, 2014
Is this one okay?
Re: Sex Outside Marriage; What's The Big Deal? by CuteEmma(f): 8:22am On Dec 04, 2014
Alright fine, since nobody wants to listen, you can do what you want to, as for me, I'm never afraid of doing what's morally right (FIRST CLASS HEAVEN TICKET AWAITS MOI).
Re: Sex Outside Marriage; What's The Big Deal? by Fkhalifa(m): 10:13am On Dec 04, 2014
you think illegal sex is only the criteria for making heaven?
my sister you are imperfect and found wanting in another sin.
Re: Sex Outside Marriage; What's The Big Deal? by lilmax(m): 10:49am On Dec 04, 2014
I no even understand the thread.... Op are you for or against it?

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