laykorn:
Scrypt, this is the best poem I've seen from a student. Your 3 last stanzas are superb!

In the first stanza you used a small letter to start a line. A block letter should have been used. And there is a line you forgot to punctuate. Apart from that, no one will believe this is your first poem.

I believe you've been reading so much poems. Your use of devices for a beginner is rare.
your use of imagery is awesome.
Ayamlaykorn

Scrypt:



Thank you very much, I'll keep the recommendations within reach.
Yes, I've been reading poems, but this is my first consciously written as ordered thoughts.

Thanks again.

davide470:
For your mind now.

davide470:
For your mind now.

texanomaly:
Very nice job. Laykorn is right. Be careful with your punctuation. The first word of every
line of a poem is capitalized, even if it is in the middle of a sentence. Once again...wow.

Thanks Tex, I hope to do better with my next one.


Veralaw: , see wash, I'm coming for tutorial this weekend.

Tolutweety: Washy of the century. Lol.

Una thanks oh.

Standd!

Scrypt:


Thanks Tex, I hope to do better with my next one.


Veralaw: , see wash, I'm coming for tutorial this weekend.

Tolutweety: Washy of the century. Lol.

Una thanks oh.

Standd!

Veralaw:


stop mocking me
be kind and lend me even a pint of ya inspiration...
The young shall grow old O

Scrypt:




Standd!

standd:



kilode

***
Nice poem.

Did you runaway from work?

Wait, I'm not supposed to talk to you sef. We are fighting.

Scrypt:



Did you runaway from work?

Wait, I'm not supposed to talk to you sef. We are fighting.

standd:


Wait! We can not fight until Christmas is over Jor. You have not given me my gift. Let's postpone our fight till you send me my gift.

Scrypt:



Okay, I have agreed to get you something that will blow you away this Christmas. However, on the condition that you send the following items and none must be missing from the list, only then will I forward your gift through DHL.

1. Proof of Identification which must be an official ID carrying standd as the bearer with a clear passport photograph.

2. 8 copies of a recent passport photograph with blue background.

3. A picture of you and I together, to be really sure we are friends and/or close pals. (Pleases, Pic-Mix photographs will not be accepted)

4. 2 Photocopies of your birth certificate to be sure you are not the one who is supposed to be dashing me something for Christmas.

5. 2 photocopies of your NL registration certificate with date of registration and moniker clearly written.

6. A statement of purpose of not more than 250 Words explaining why I should give you this gift and what you will do with it.

7. Finally, you must provide three letters of reference. One must be from a clergy and the other two must be prominent political office holders and must not be members of PDP or APC.

Thereafter, you must post it through NIPOST with a brown official envelop.

Applications must be received on or before 11:59pm on the 23rd day of December 2014 else your application will not be considered.

-TheScrypt

Veralaw:

[size=20pt]

*dies* Sorry,I just had to die on behalf of the addressed[/size]

Scrypt:

Just scribbled this this morning following a discussion from last night with C.
I hope I'm able to maintain the tempo set with Genesis above, that's what I'm calling the first one.

No Title

Rock of Ages,
Our failures and shame we blame but our wages,
Laid on him in his dying breath like a plague is,
Yet, we remain non-challant and un-repentant that's what the case is.

Bewildered by overwhelming troubles we remember what the gate is,
A channel to get even and recant, but a few remember where the place is,
Like prodigals a hand full crawl back home there's no time to fake it,
And before the gate, stands The Father with open arms saying: Child, in good time, you made it.

-TheScrypt

Copy:
Texanomaly
Laykorn.

Scrypt:



Okay, I have agreed to get you something that will blow you away this Christmas. However, on the condition that you send the following items and none must be missing from the list, only then will I forward your gift through DHL.

1. Proof of Identification which must be an official ID carrying standd as the bearer with a clear passport photograph.

2. 8 copies of a recent passport photograph with blue background.

3. A picture of you and I together, to be really sure we are friends and/or close pals. (Pleases, Pic-Mix photographs will not be accepted)

4. 2 Photocopies of your birth certificate to be sure you are not the one who is supposed to be dashing me something for Christmas.

5. 2 photocopies of your NL registration certificate with date of registration and moniker clearly written.

6. A statement of purpose of not more than 250 Words explaining why I should give you this gift and what you will do with it.

7. Finally, you must provide three letters of reference. One must be from a clergy and the other two must be prominent political office holders and must not be members of PDP or APC.

Thereafter, you must post it through NIPOST with a brown official envelop.

Applications must be received on or before 11:59pm on the 23rd day of December 2014 else your application will not be considered.

-TheScrypt

Scrypt:


Genesis

Once there was darkness,
Void, grotesque and formless
without the splendor of nature, savorless,
same was the beginning, it was pointless.

Then HE with a name only hallowed,
With angels the spectators carrying halo's,
stepped-in and called radiance in the fallows,
And darkness stepped aside, not even a hello.

An opus from El Shaddai's whims,
like sparkles from a chariot's rims,
Light beamed from nothing, this was real,
I imagined heavens wonder how he pulled this.

Darkness left dethroned, thrashed and beaten,
From a show of pure unadulterated ingenuity,
Wondered who does such with non-entities,
Yes, it was he who was, who is and who shall be.

-TheScrypt

Thank you. There goes my first.


Copy:
Texanomaly
Laykorn

standd:


Pls don't die
I think Scrypt is presenting me with my NNPC employment letter as Christmas gift.

. The same letter I'm eyeing? Anyway, you'll have to wait till next year to get it then.

standd:



This is perfect
I can't get enough.

Which is why I asked you to be my private tutor. I only fear for the distractions having a teacher so gorgeous may cause.

Scrypt:

Just scribbled this this morning following a discussion from last night with C.
I hope I'm able to maintain the tempo set with Genesis above, that's what I'm calling the first one.

No Title

Rock of Ages,
Our failures and shame we blame but our wages,
Laid on him in his dying breath like a plague is,
Yet, we remain non-challant and un-repentant that's what the case is.

Bewildered by overwhelming troubles we remember what the gate is,
A channel to get even and recant, but a few remember where the place is,
Like prodigals a hand full crawl back home there's no time to fake it,
And before the gate, stands The Father with open arms saying: Child, in good time, you made it.

-TheScrypt

Copy:
Texanomaly
Laykorn.

Scrypt:


. The same letter I'm eyeing? Anyway, you'll have to wait till next year to get it then.

standd:



Wow
Scrypt...you are good.
This is so smooth and perfect. The words flowing into each other, in seamless harmony.
You are good.

Hmmm! A complement coming from the one who wields words with reckless abandon. A true composer of Magnum opus, I am humbled. Still, don't shy away from my request to be my sensei.


Errrrrr, PC test, we wait and hope it's not another 2years.

CoCoLav:



Splendid!

Love the last three lines....

Scrypt:



Hmmm! A complement coming from the one who wields words with reckless abandon. A true composer of Magnum opus, I am humbled. Still, don't shy away from my request to be my sensei.


Errrrrr, PC test, we wait and hope it's not another 2years.