Hey guys,

You can read this at http://1stfebruary./2014/12/16/should-my-wife-be-my-next-of-kin/ if you'd prefer. I'm looking forward to your comments. Let's discuss.


A huge part of a married man’s responsibilities centres around providing for and protecting his family.

While the financial aspect of this is not alone, it can be said to be at least 50% of it. Apart from this, I am also of the opinion that it is also the married man’s responsibility to ensure that his wife his productive. What do I mean you ask?

It is common knowledge that some men “prefer” their wives to be stay at home mums. Their reasons range from patting their ego to being family conscious; from “my salary can feed this entire town, therefore I don’t want you to work because I am all-sufficient” to “I think you should stop work so that our children will receive better care.”

While some of these reasons may be tangible and some even terrible, it is important to know that we live in a different and uncertain world with an increasingly volatile economy. People lose their jobs en masse daily, companies are always looking for newer ways to go lean, people get in freak accidents, people get terminally ill, people eventually die (regardless of how immortal you feel now)

If you are uncomfortable with your wife’s working hours as a career woman, a suitable compromise would be to set up a business for her, dealing in anything from clothes to groceries. For convenience sake, you can set it up a few miles from where you live.
It is very vital to make sure that your wife is independent financially. This makes her feel useful but more to the point, this can be your saving grace when the rainy day comes.

More to the crux of the matter, my father died even before I was a teenager so I can tell you that I have first hand knowledge on this. My father’s siblings whom my dad and mum toiled for all through their married life not only abandoned us when he passed on but also made it their life’s mission to try to frustrate us. My dad did not leave a will in the first place so they really tried to take the few assets he left behind. The one wise decision that I would always love my father for was the fact that he made my mother his next of kin. It was so bad that his brothers went to his office to collect any entitlement that might be in his name. Their journey was in vain only because they were not listed as his beneficiaries.

It was in this period that my mother’s siblings stepped up. They probably don’t know how much I appreciate them for that. They came straight from work every day, playing with us and getting more involved in our lives and always reminding us that we had family. Meanwhile my father’s siblings whom my mother paid their school fees and pocket money (from her personal salary) were looking for ways to frustrate her and move her out. It has only been God.

I know for a fact that entitlement ran out nearly a decade ago. Our only saving grace was that my mother had started a career so she put in her energy into that to ensure that she didn’t lose it just so that her 4 children would have sound education and not miss out on anything children with fathers had.

Look, the truth of the matter is that your priorities must change upon marriage. You are a family man now. Your financial planning strategies must change when you get married and especially when you start having children.

Financial planning is not just about piling the money and the properties, it is especially about making sure that the right people have access to it when eventualities occur.

Trust me when I say that I have seen first hand how the love of money becomes the root of all evil.

Putting your wife as your next of kin does not ensure that your family members will leave your properties for your wife to use to care for herself and your children after your demise, but it definitely gives her the legal backing that is required to gain what should rightfully be for their care. Wise men put their houses in the names of their wives or as a joint ownership. They are far from stupid. How will you feel watching on from heaven and seeing your beloved wife and children roaming the streets when you left earthly riches for their care and protection?

Don’t get me wrong, I never said that you shouldn’t support your parents/siblings.
For them, if you have the capability, you should set them up to be financially independent. You could do this by sponsoring an apprenticeship (for a vocational or professional skill) and then give a sizable amount to set up their own establishment.

As I always say, people change when FOOD and MONEY are involved. Don’t be so sure that your siblings would be as loyal to your legacy in your absence as they are in your presence. Those that are are indeed a rarity.

As a last note, I cannot even begin to overemphasize the necessity and importance of a will. It is true that most families contest a will which is legally binding, but even at that you are rest assured that there is written evidence of how you want your life’s work shared among the people you care for the most.

In conclusion, please always learn to put your “house” in order. Life is fragile and short. Tomorrow is not guaranteed. The legal documents you sign also matter. Don’t just put your signature anywhere. People have been tricked into forfeiting their assets this way. Read before you sign. Get a will written up regardless of how little you think you have and get it edited as your assets and liabilities fluctuate.

Try to avoid debt so that it will not be your legacy or the inheritance of your children when you pass on. Also go back to documents you signed before you got married or had children and be careful to edit or add beneficiaries where necessary.

Please leave your thoughts and comments below… Let’s discuss

if u wish

Yes......i think itz the best thing.

kristina1:
Yes......i think itz the best thing.

In a true marriage though

No!
I think it should be your.....



















Landlord!

DrObum:
No!
I think it should be your.....



















Landlord!

Hahaha! But seriously though.....

If you have a son or daughter, he or she is the right one. Sorry I couldn't read this long epistle

IdiAmin1:
If you have a son or daughter, he or she is the right one. Sorry I couldn't read this long epistle

It all depends o. Sorry to say but some children can be wasteful. In this case, leaving them as your next of kin will be a grave mistake. They can't be trusted to make responsible decisions. And in two weeks to a month they can destroy all you spent your life saving.

I think a havin a wife as next of kin is very important

Having either of the kids or wife can be dicey.wife may become the wrong choice if she falls for another man who dictates how things should go.the kids might become so immature and get carried away via e winds of foolishness. So na only God fit help person for this matter

gidjah:
Having either of the kids or wife can be dicey.wife may become the wrong choice if she falls for another man who dictates how things should go.the kids might become so immature and get carried away via e winds of foolishness. So na only God fit help person for this matter

That's why the will is the koko mehn. I just wrote this from the viewpoint of the women and children that are kicked out of their home by some greedy "relatives" and since the man did not give them legal backing before his demise, they are left stranded. This issue is so broad. And you are right. Above all, na God fit help person.

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I concur with all you said..
I have always being against making your wife full housewife.. It is not advisable in any way!!
And the issue of the next of kin.. It is best you make your wife the next of kin or any of your children preferably your first child!!
The best is to write a will.. Update it from time to time!!
Read any documents before signing!!
Lastly live your life to please God and God alone!!

Read and share

ifeojobas:


It all depends o. Sorry to say but some children can be wasteful. In this case, leaving them as your next of kin will be a grave mistake. They can't be trusted to make responsible decisions. And in two weeks to a month they can destroy all you spent your life saving.

and some wife an kill u just to inherit everything if she finds out she is your next of kin.

Etetejake:


and some wife an kill u just to inherit everything if she finds out she is your next of kin.

1. Anyone can kill anyone to gain properties. Brothers kill brothers all the time. Parents kill children and children kill parents. Wetin man go do?

2. Get a proper will

3. We need to marry people we trust to a large extent

ifeojobas:


1. Anyone can kill anyone to gain properties. Brothers kill brothers all the time. Parents kill children and children kill parents. Wetin man go do?

2. Get a proper will

3. We need to marry people we trust to a large extent

U r very right.

Read. Comment. Share.

The wife is the best person.

She will take care of the kids and probably know who deserves.

Also, your children will get married out of the home.

But leave something for the children sha..

But your wife FIRST..

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Nope.. Let me be your next of kin..

Akranez:
Nope.. Let me be your next of kin..

Lol... I already have jor

ifeojobas:


Lol... I already have jor

Hehehee.. Chaiii.
Me dey think say I don hammer o

Akranez:


Hehehee.. Chaiii.
Me dey think say I don hammer o

You sef na my oga o

Sure! Very right, but u have to b careful in order not to choose a wrong one

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