The over-attentiveness may seem sweet at first, but keep an eye out...

He picks you up, presents you with roses, opens your door, takes you to an elegant restaurant, and endlessly compliments you throughout the night. He repeatedly tells you, his voice laced with incredulous wonder, that he can't believe you actually agreed to go out with him since you are so far out of his league. He treats you like a princess and let's face it, it's flattering. It's a refreshing change to feel so appreciated, especially if you've dated a few self-absorbed, insensitive jerks in the past. You begin to think that maybe he's "the one." But then things head south. His sweet attentiveness turns to overwhelming obsession. It no longer feels like he treasures and cherishes you; it feels like overbearing possessiveness. Suddenly it seems to take all your energy to assure (and reassure and reassure again) your man that you love him. It's sucking the life out of you.

We all have insecurities. It's human nature. I'm personally insecure about the size of my butt. And the fact that I dance like crippled monkey having a seizure. And my inability to do 5th grade math. And that's okay. But for some of us, that insecurity is so pervasive it seeps into every corner of our lives and destroys our relationships. Here are 15 signs your man may have some big-time insecurity issues.


1. He has no outside friends or interests.
He never mentions any friends and doesn't hang out with anyone but you. Outside of work, he has no interests or hobbies. He doesn't go to the gym, play any sports, take any classes, volunteer, or go to church. When he isn't with you, he's sitting at home thinking about you. Or maybe he did have friends and hobbies at one time, but he gave them all up in order to spend every minute with you.

2. He thinks you still have feelings for your ex.
He's convinced you aren't over your ex even if you've been divorced/broken up for years and the only feelings you have for him are disappointment, pity, loathing, disgust, and a smidge of residual hatred. His insecurity is so overwhelming that he can't see reason and will convince himself that you couldn’t possibly love him so the only "logical" conclusion is that you're still in love with your ex.

3. He tells you he loves you right away.
Very early in the relationship, he professes his undying love for you. Part of you feels like Rudolph when Clarice tells him he's cute. You could fly through the air while shouting, "He loves me! He loves me! He loves MEEEEEE!" But the sane part of you feels like, He loves me? Wait what? This is our SECOND DATE! That's crazy-talk! It takes time to get to know someone enough to love them and if your new boyfriend is telling you he loves you right off the bat, it should sound warning bells, especially if he pressures you into saying it back to him.

4. He tells you you're his everything.
You're his world, the center of his universe, his reason for living. At first it may seem flattering to be valued so highly, but being the center of one's world, is not all it's cracked up to be. That's too much pressure to live up to. And what happens when you hit a bump in the road in your relationship? When things aren't going smoothly his world falls apart. He falls apart. Because you are his world.

5. He needs constant validation.
He frequently asks you questions like, "Do you love me?" He fishes for compliments. Then when you assure him that you do indeed find him attractive, he doesn't quite believe you. Everyone likes to hear that they're loved, pretty, talented, attractive, intelligent, desired, but his needs go beyond those of the rest of us. He generally suffers from low self-esteem, which incidentally is the driving force behind many of his insecure behaviors.

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This is an epic super story for the lame.

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