Boy mets girl, boy loves girl, girl loves boy wants to marry her. e takes het to mummy, Mummy likes her all she asks is that you take good care of my son
Boys parents raised him, paid his fees, supported him till he got a job, they do not give girl a long list to take to her parents to repay them or as others claim " appreciate " them.

Girl takes boy home, girls parents welcome him, ask him to come with elders, boy comes with elders and he is given a long list with some cash he needs to pay, bride price they call it

What is a price?the amount of money expected, required, or given in payment for something.
"land could be sold for a high price"
synonyms: cost, asking price, selling price, charge, fee, terms, payment, rate, fare, levy, toll, amount, sum, total, figure; More

So my questions are;

1. Why must the parents of the girl ask for payment to raising their daughter and the boys parents don't? Dont they both get to enjoy the marriage? If he pays and highly for getting a wife like an item is that a bedrock for equality?

2. If its a payment for appretiation why haggle over it like you are pricing some cow
After pricing the goods and the payment is agreed on just like a cow the good in the case bride is asked to walk round and so people can appreciate what they bought.

3. Apart from being cultural what purpose does a bride price really serve in todays world when we women say we want to be treated equally?

If from the beginning his parents don't ask for payment for him and ours do, are we going into marriage on the same equal wave length?

5. Does inlaw relationship end in a day? Is it not a life time? If we say its appreciation shouldn't it be voluntary? Should we demand payment upfront and fix a price? Should appreciation for raising our own kids necessarily be in cash and goods? Is a simple thank you and a promise to treat your daughter well not enough?

6. Whose responsibility is it to raise our own kids? Isn't it ours as parents? Why do we then ask someone else to refund us

I don't think bride prices are expensive according to the people that are married, methinks it is the accompanying party things that makes people spend a lot.

In some culture the bride price is as low as One Kobo.

Even in the almighty Imo State where they are notorious with giving(selling)their out daughters out expensively, the bride price is cheap there, but the list of the THINGS to bring is usually what kills you.

Met a guy once who was not pissed with the one million things on the list he was given, except for the one thing they requested he added, which was a FOOTBALL. They said the Football was for the youths of the VILLAGE.

You sha like quarrel pass fight.
No arguments, just pay your husband's groomprice like the Indians.

My dear, I have always wondered ooo. I even had this conversation with my mum and brother about 2 days ago. The way some tradition demand for things is absurd but I think something should be paid to the girls parents because she is leaving her family to start another. Moderation and contentment is the key.

lafflaff123:
.

Shey you go continue like this for 2015

Sorry pray he get some cash to finance the marriage asap.

Bride price/Dowry :any gift or payment, in money, natural produce, brass rods, cowries or in any other kind of property whatsoever, to a parent or guardian of a female person on account of a marriage of that person which is [b][/b] intended has taken place.


1. The reason being that the the man asked for the hand in marriage and the man has to pay it coz it's a form of gratitude that 'Tnx for bearing me a woman who would become my wife and bear me children who would carry on my father's name'. They both enjoy the marriage of course. Depends on the man if he thinks she's an item. Equality is another topic maam.
Everybody has a price. Owo ori.




2. Strictly culture not me. Bride price basically seems like a contract with a notary/notaries( notaries would serve as the Pple who witnessed the scene) haggling can occur like any form of contract 'She's educated, she's pretty etc '.
It's a form of show off/proof/her worth as regards she being 'acquired legally' . .




3. From the biblical point of view, Islam also even in Nigerian law, bride price is important. It's culture, wasn't established last night. Bride price overtime as served as a form of devotion to the marriage, how hard working the man is to provide for the wife etc
The best things in life are free, the 2nd best are expensive - Coco channel


4. I assume that's question 4 and sorry, can you state it clearer.


5. No it doesn't. Naturally, it's a lifetime. Since its bride price, it can't be voluntary, it's a necessity. Yes we can demand to settle both parties. It can be both, depends on the requirements from the bride's parent. A simple thank u isn't enough oo, U know how much I invested on her sort of thing .Even in freetown, nothing is free.


6. It's solely the parent's responsibility. Someone to 'refund' us ke, that won't be the right word to use, more of someone to continue the investment, she's an asset.

Even to God we are an asset. We are nothing but pencils in the hands of the creator.
My ba3 shaa.

sweettease:

Shey you go continue like this for 2015

lol i love you too

It's custom.
By the way, those questions of yours are rhetorical. You were stating an opinion, not really asking a question.
I'm sure you'll get answers if you ask questions to learn

dacoolvik:
My dear, I have always wondered ooo. I even had this conversation with my mum and brother about 2 days ago. The way some tradition demand for things is absurd but I think something should be paid to the girls parents because she is leaving her family to start another. Moderation and contentment is the key.

Marriage is a celebration and union of two souls and families. Say hello to the youngest hubby ever on Nairaland. www.nairaland.com/2067192/pictures-nairalanders-wedding

Abia state and imo state
There price is suicidal

Itz a tradition... Letz us jst do it,,, 4 God sake itz jst one per Marriage..
By the way, the bride is changing her Surname,, dey are givin her out.. Dnt u think itz worth it..??
Som parents can actually go any lengh to av a male child,, for sake of name nt dyin dwn..

timijoseph01:
Itz a tradition... Letz us jst do it,,, 4 God sake itz jst one per Marriage..
By the way, the bride is changing her Surname,, dey are givin her out.. Dnt u think itz worth it..??
Som parents can actually go any lengh to av a male child,, for sake of name nt dyin dwn..

Some women dont change their surnames.
Some things were culture like killing twins women not inheriting from their fathers but these things have changed and are changing

reaky:
Abia state and imo state
There price is suicidal

In APC voice, "it's meant to seperate the boys from the men". Son when u are of age u can come back for our daughter. Hehe!

aisha2:


Some women dont change their surnames.
Some things were culture like killing twins women not inheriting from their fathers but these things have changed and are changing

bt u knw bride price has started even in BC.. It av tayed,, lol.. Itz nt lik a culture is som part of a couyntry.. It z done 2ru out d world

Its a custom.
Some areas ask for a lot, some areas hardly ask for anything, and in some areas, when the brideprice is handed over in an envelope, it is handed straight back.
There are other customs involved when it comes to marriage, its just so happens that this one is tied to money. I heard that in India, the grooms get the money. In England, the custom is that brides parents pays for the reception and that is the most expensive part of the wedding, by the time they pay £50 a head for 200 guests, that is £10,000.

In some areas the wife goes and kneels down in front of her husband with a drink & in some customs the men and other members of his family go and prostrate in front of the brides parents.

Over time some things will change and some things will be watered down.

Some dont even think about the reasoning behind it, Its just a case of this is what my parents and grandparents did, so I will do it too, hence the reason why marriage ceremonys have typically remained the same over years and years with just a few "ajasa" to make it more modern.

No brideprice was paid on me and my family was not hungry for the yams, fruit etc that was brought, but if my husbands family had come empty handed and not prepared for the occassion, it would have been disrespectful and rather scary too in that what type of family is this?

I dont think that any family wants to sell their daughter neither do I think that any family wants to buy another mans daughter, becasue they have daughters too and wouldnt want their own daughters to be bought like cows too.

Opiosko:
In APC voice, "it's meant to seperate the boys from the men". Son when u are of age u can come back for our daughter. Hehe!

When they come old
dem go full for there papa house

After frustration go make dem turn witch bewitching other gals not to marry

chaircover:
Its a custom.
Some areas ask for a lot, some areas hardly ask for anything, and in some areas, when the brideprice is handed over in an envelope, it is handed straight back.
There are other customs involved when it comes to marriage, its just so happens that this one is tied to money. I heard that in India, the grooms get the money. In England, the custom is that brides parents pays for the reception and that is the most expensive part of the wedding, by the time they pay £50 a head for 200 guests, that is £10,000.

In some areas the wife goes and kneels down in front of her husband with a drink & in some customs the men and other members of his family go and prostrate in front of the brides parents.

Over time some things will change and some things will be watered down.

Some dont even think about the reasoning behind it, Its just a case of this is what my parents and grandparents did, so I will do it too, hence the reason why marriage ceremonys have typically remained the same over years and years with just a few "ajasa" to make it more modern.

No brideprice was paid on me and my family was not hungry for the yams, fruit etc that was brought, but if my husbands family had come empty handed and not prepared for the occassion, it would have been disrespectful and rather scary too in that what type of family is this?

I dont think that any family wants to sell their daughter neither do I think that any family wants to buy another mans daughter, becasue they have daughters too and wouldnt want their own daughters to be bought like cows too.

No Bride price was paid for you? that means when/if your husband returns you he does not get anything back? that means you a FREE wife?

Do you by CHANCE have any Single female in your family?i will love to marry into this family that gives up the girls for free.

Hope you were not a BAD CHILD and your family was in a hurry too get rid of you and forgot to take the bride price?

lafflaff123:



No Bride price was paid for you? that means when/if your husband returns you he does not get anything back? that means you a FREE wife?

Do you by CHANCE have any Single female in your family?i will love to marry into this family that gives up the girls for free.

Hope you were not a BAD CHILD and your family was in a hurry too get rid of you and forgot to take the bride price?

That's a point o

lafflaff123:



No Bride price was paid for you? that means when/if your husband returns you he does not get anything back? that means you a FREE wife?

Do you by CHANCE have any Single female in your family?i will love to marry into this family that gives up the girls for free.

Hope you were not a BAD CHILD and your family was in a hurry too get rid of you and forgot to take the bride price?

LOL @bad child
return ke?
Olorun o ni je
Unless he can return me exactly the way he took me
Return is not even my portion
For the record, it was put in an envelope and handed over and it was handed back
Like I said, customs differ.

reaky:




When they come old
dem go full for there papa house

Lia lia! Our boys no dey dull na, small time boys don become men

Opiosko:
Lia lia! Our boys no dey dull na, small time boys don become men

Is good o
Una boys try

Speaking as an Igbo lady. . .

Traditional wedding which includes bride price, exchange of gifts by both families signifies :
The groom and his family can take care of the bride.
Both families agreeing to eat from one pot, drink from one cup.
Appreciation to the parents, community for raising a fine(not meant literally) daughter.

I love trad. Weddings, makes sense to me as opposed to going to a church/mosque/ shrine to swear and/ or take imported meaningless oaths. No pun or offense intended.

^^^^ Merry Xmas Madam

It is our culture.

Madam CC, thanks! Happy holidays to you and yours. Wishing you the best in the forthcoming year. More chair to cover and more cover to your chairs l'agbara Olorun.

Brideprice should be banned. It serves no purpose in today's society. Women are at a detriment with this practice.

Stillfire:
Brideprice should be banned. It serves no purpose in today's society. Women are at a detriment with this practice.

I have been asking this question yet no answers apart from " its culture " female genital mutilation is also culture, harmful widowhood practice is also culture.

My people don't give any list, they will say marriage is a life time so you dont request for things. Infact some tried to borrow the list culture and a meeting was called where people who give lists are fined and punished.
In the end a few kobos is given and returned. Some one tried to start raising issues but my father said no way.

I don't understand the need to pay anything for a mutually beneficial marriage
He enjoys it, I enjoy it, he was trained I was trained so why does he have to pay?

aisha2:


I have been asking this question yet no answers apart from " its culture " female genital mutilation is also culture, harmful widowhood practice is also culture.

My people don't give any list, they will say marriage is a life time so you dont request for things. Infact some tried to borrow the list culture and a meeting was called where people who give lists are fined and punished.
In the end a few kobos is given and returned. Some one tried to start raising issues but my father said no way.

I don't understand the need to pay anything for a mutually beneficial marriage
He enjoys it, I enjoy it, he was trained I was trained so why does he have to pay?

I can't think of any plausible, logical excuse why this practice should continue for someone that believes in equal rights like myself. Women who don't believe in such equality can continue the practice though. I hold no beef with them.

Stillfire:

I can't think of any plausible, logical excuse why this practice should continue for someone that believes in equal rights like myself. Women who don't believe in such equality can continue the practice though. I hold no beef with them.

Same