TODAY ON FRANKLY SPEAKING - THE ASSUMPTION THINKING

We all want to be comfortable. We want a comfortable lifestyle; that life that would give us the peace that comes with meeting obligations, responsibilities, fitting in and self-preservation and personal pride. We just want to make sure were socially and economically okay.
We work so very hard, search for new things, seek fresh opportunities and try to put in our efforts in ensuring we are…okay.
A good, enjoyable, peaceful life is not an illusion. Happiness is for real, joy is for real, peace is for real, fulfilment is for real; these are not things that are impossible, these are not experiences that are mere imaginations, some people are actually happy, contented, comfortable and fulfilled.
Please understand me; a happy life is different from happiness as in emotional state. You can have a very happy life but still occasionally feel bad and unhappy on the account of events that occur in and around you that make you feel bad.
You can have a very happy life and occasionally your husband or wife or friend or boss or colleague would do something that'll make you unhappy, it does not mean you don't have a happy life, you still have a happy life you're just momentarily upset on the account of an issue.
A happy life is the pleasantness of your journey through life. It is the totality of how far you have come; where you're at and where you're headed. If your life thus far is something you can smile about and be happy about and the future looks promising and fulfilling then you have a happy life.
On the contrary if you look over your life, your choices and decisions; where you're at right now and the future makes you afraid and insecure then you probably don't enjoy a happy life.
A happy life is beyond temporary upsets and unpleasant occurrences; as even when an individual is struggling and unhappy in life, there are still moments of happiness anyway.
A happy life is a great life, a life of success according to your own unique and personal definition of success.
Is your life today in alignment with your personal definition of success? Would you be saying your dreams and expectations thus far has been your experience? Are you living a life different from what you really want? Is there a difference between your dreams and your reality?
Why is it taking so long to marry your reality and your dreams? At what point would your dreams become your reality? For how long would your dreams and your reality exist as two parallel lines?
For how long would you keep observing others doing what you can only wish; other people like you achieving your wishes, experiencing your wishes and enjoying what only exists in your own dream land?
If it's possible for others, why does it appear impossible for you? Don't you suppose it's time to sit back and think about finding real solutions and answers? If many theories you've heard, read and assumed aren't working as expected don't you suppose it's time to try something entirely new? Or you're only hoping and assuming things would fall in place one day? Hmmm.
One of my colleagues began to share a business idea with me; for him it was novel and interesting, and appeared smart; it looked really good on paper and he was convinced many people would buy into it.
I asked him a pertinent question, if we invest so much in funds and man hours into the idea how much minimum returns are we looking at and when are we likely to deliver certain revenue in returns? He smiled and gave a common response; well he hoped people would like it and patronize and if they do; mark the words, if, then we should be able to deliver so so amount in numbers.
I smiled; he was missing something crucial in today's business environment; the terrene is too treacherous to invest money and man hours in an ‘if’ situation. Assumption is a great killer in today's business.
The excitement, speed, dynamism and operations in today's business world has become a situation of ‘get it right the first time’ If you want to stay ahead and enjoy good growth, you strategy, tactics, and decisions must be tight. Assumption is a risk too high to take in business today and guess what? it's too high to take in individual lives too.
Let me take you back a bit to your days in school; as an undergraduate, you were told and you agreed and assumed if you did very well, study a good course and graduated with very good grades, your life would be okay, you won't have problems as such, it would be smooth sailing.
But if you observe, you may just discover that in the real world; after school life, your assumption may have been flawed. You will see many course mates with good grades from highly reputable universities struggling to get jobs and the ones with lower grades or less prestigious courses and less prestigious higher institutions getting the good jobs and earning good salary; faulty assumption, mistaken beliefs.
Even in social lives, it is assumed the serious, focused and moral young ladies are the ones who would eventually end up getting married in good time to kind, serious minded and responsible gentlemen.
But if you observe, it may surprise you, the playful, unserious, happy go lucky, fun, party and club girl could be the ones getting married in good time to the nice, gentle and responsible guys and the so called good girls, serious and focused ones are the ones still praying and hoping to be married one day. Hmmm. Faulty assumption, mistaken belief.
It is also a common thinking that if you get a well-paying job, you will be okay, but check it out, most employees in well-paying employment today have sub-zero account balances; most of them are in debt, they owe so much and are constantly broke. More money made them debtors not comfortable, for some, their drivers and other non-management staffs are building houses, senior managers owe, paying for cars and gadgets - faulty assumptions, mistaken belief.
It is also a common statement that good success would come to anyone who pours himself into his job or career. I have come across and counselled very many hardworking; practically toiling individuals who have nothing to show for it after many years, hard work is never equals to success, faulty assumptions, mistaken beliefs.
It's also popular to think if you have dreams, goals and aspirations and you listen to coaches, teachers and motivational speakers and read their books things will work out. But I know many people, who's read books and listened to speakers for many years and till now can only quote them and refer to what they said. In their personal lives and with their goals, they have nothing to show.
Dear friend it is futile to assume the answers to life's questions. You must know the answers to your quest in life. Don't just assume if you do this and do that things would work out, you must be sure. If it doesn't work out as planned, let it not be because you weren't sure, let it be that something unexpected frustrated your strategy.
Talking now of strategies, do you have a personal strategy for accomplishments in life.
Brands have strategies; companies have strategies, don't you then think you should have a strategy for accomplishing your own purpose?
Why do you set the kind of goals you set? How relevant are those goals to what you want and where you're going? Do you make up your mind to read two books a month because Muyiwa Afolabi said you should? Or in view of where you're going in life, reading two books a month is necessary?
Even if reading is important, what kind of materials or books should you be reading?
Goal setting must be purposeful. A friend recently called me and was lamenting seriously about his career. He works in the corporate affairs of a company and was hoping to become the public affairs manager someday; a very hardworking staff, committed, dedicated and studious. But year after year this dream keeps eluding him, he doesn't know why but I do and I've told him why.
Becoming a public affairs manager is not just about hard work or being committed or dedicated.
It's a craft; you must be charismatic, intelligent with words, have a good command of English and be a people person.
These should be the areas my friend should be focusing on; it's not just in working very hard and sucking up to the boss.
In achieving your purpose, you must be it, to have it. In life you really don't chase your dreams, you attract your dreams by becoming the dream, your dream is not ahead of you; it's on the inside of you. You manifest your dreams, you don't chase it. You grow and develop to become it; then the world would acknowledge you have what it takes and patronize you and pay you for it.
Many of us are anxious to improve our circumstances but not anxious to improve our selves. Our circumstances can't improve if we do not improve. Ability, not ambition, delivers dreams. Develop in you what it takes to handle and deliver your dream and the dream would naturally gravitate towards you.
It is you that you need to work on, it's not the school you went to, the grades you finished with, the money you're making or the man you think should be toasting you not the other not so classy girl, when you become it, all you want would find you.
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Bulky... Nid a summary!