Before y'all say "don't get in a long distance relationship in the first place", let's be honest, stuff happens. People get transferred, move to a different city, have to be away because of family... and so on. Now it would be easy to just end that relationship if what you had with the person wasnt real. But, when it's the real deal, it can be pretty tough to just let go.

Now this is my question: How do you deal with that sometimes overwhelming feeling of loneliness when you're in a long distance relationship? That sh*t can get very real very fast.

Please note that all the other options like hanging out with friends, getting busy, staying in touch with each other (talking to each other 2-3 times a day for at least 20 minutes each time) and seeing at least once a month have been explored.

Matured and reasonable advice please... preferably from people who have experienced or are in a similar situation/relationship.

Same thing you know. Call as many times as possible. Make video calls sometimes. Travel as many times as possible as well. Datz All.

Skype, call regularly, stuff like that.

Loneliness is inevitable; just keep close.

uokocha70:
Same thing you know. Call as many times as possible. Make video calls sometimes. Travel as many times as possible as well. Datz All.

Super story

@ the bolded... interesting. But like I said earlier, calls (video and phone) are pretty much the norm. Still isn't doing it.

MzNelly:
Skype, call regularly, stuff like that.

Loneliness is inevitable; just keep close.

One problem with people in LDR is we get so caught up in maintaining our relationships that we forget about ourselves
We drift away from friends and loved ones
~
I'd advice you take some time away to focus on yourself and things you love to do- be it hanging out with friends or pampering yourself in whatever way you know how to
Have some fun outside of the relationship, nurture your social ties

Keep the connection by calling, texting or social media. Talk about everything and anything, make it fun But most importantly take some reasonable time off (so your absence can be felt). Never be too clingy, it devalues your worth.

Firstly, find out her activity schedule, study it, memorize it.

Always hook up with her on the wires in those period of the day she is likely to be lonely.

Visit intermittently. Learn how to spring surprises. Make such visit one.

Develop a good hobby and that shouldn't include a lot of romantic films/novels. Stay away from Telemundo.

Finally, encourage yourselves. Reassure yourselves too.

Zeemoor:
One problem with people in LDR is we get so caught up in maintaining our relationships that we forget about ourselves
We drift away from friends and loved ones
~
I'd advice you take some time away to focus on yourself and things you love to do- be it hanging out with friends or pampering yourself in whatever way you know how to
Have some fun outside of the relationship nurture your social ties

Exactly. Well said.

Zeemoor:
One problem with people in LDR is we get so caught up in maintaining our relationships that we forget about ourselves
We drift away from friends and loved ones
~
I'd advice you take some time away to focus on yourself and things you love to do- be it hanging out with friends or pampering yourself in whatever way you know how to
Have some fun outside of the relationship, nurture your social ties

Won't this endanger the relationship?

markpenk:
@ the bolded... interesting. But like I said earlier, calls (video and phone) are pretty much the norm. Still isn't doing it.

Texting, calling and video calling is good.

But nothing beats seeing the individual in person.

Hence, the bolded.

Hanging out with friends or pampering oneself?

pasqal09:

Won't this endanger the relationship?

Zeemoor:
Hanging out with friends or pampering oneself?

I'm not saying its bad but sometimes, too much of this can add to the rift you know. You could meet someone who could make you forget him totally.

Good point, but that's not my problem. Like I said earlier, there's no problem with doing things that give me joy. In fact, I'm a firm believer in "measured/timed space" between two people. Helps you catch your breath and recharge, otherwise, you'd just end up "suffocating" each other. So, hobbies, "extracurriculars" and other stuff that a guy needs to live a full life are already taken care of, in my case. Believe me, I've got a list of hobbies/activities after work every day that'll leave you exhausted . So, I'm pretty certain that it's not because I'm bored or anything like that.

Zeemoor:
One problem with people in LDR is we get so caught up in maintaining our relationships that we forget about ourselves
We drift away from friends and loved ones
~
I'd advice you take some time away to focus on yourself and things you love to do- be it hanging out with friends or pampering yourself in whatever way you know how to
Have some fun outside of the relationship, nurture your social ties

Not really... it won't. If anything, it'll help enrich your relationship and love life.

pasqal09:

Won't this endanger the relationship?

markpenk:
Not really... it won't. If anything, it'll help enrich your relationship and love life.

You think?

Hmm... you've got a point. But for a guy who's already "played the field" before finding this wonderful person, I don't think it would. Sure, the temptation will be there, but because I know what I've got, I'm less likely to mess up.

pasqal09:

I'm not saying its bad but sometimes, too much of this can add to the rift you know. You could meet someone who could make you forget him totally.

Yes sir, it will. A well rounded individual -male or female- is fantastic company anytime and will always fascinate you. . And developing a well rounded personality often requires doing the aforementioned.

pasqal09:

You think?

markpenk:
Hmm... you've got a point. But for a guy who's already "played the field" before finding this wonderful person, I don't think it would. Sure, the temptation will be there, but because I know what I've got, I'm less likely to mess up.

I'm not talking about you, I'm talking about her.

True @ the bolded. It's staying "sane" until you see that person that's the difficult part

MzNelly:


Texting, calling and video calling is good.

But nothing beats seeing the individual in person.

Hence, the bolded.

markpenk:
True @ the bolded. It's staying "sane" until you see that person that's the difficult part

Is temptation hooking you?

pasqal09:

Super story

Good for you. But am married and doing this and it works for me. Just finished talking to my wife.

Zeemoor:
~
I'd advice you take some time away to focus on yourself and things you love to do- be it hanging out with friends or pampering yourself in whatever way you know how to
Have some fun outside of the relationship, nurture your social ties

He's asking for a way to feel closer and less seperated from his love not how to drift apart from her.

MzPreshie:
He's asking for a way to feel closer and less seperated from his love not how to drift apart from her.

Your comprehension skill is amazing
How does hanging out with friends to kill boredom equate drifting apart from her?

Study the bible

Sorry, I just saw the part where you stated you hang out with friends, get busy and stuffs
So, you do all these and still feel lonely?
Maybe, just maybe LDR isn't your thing
Try and work things out so you two can be together

markpenk:
Good point, but that's not my problem. Like I said earlier, there's no problem with doing things that give me joy. In fact, I'm a firm believer in "measured/timed space" between two people. Helps you catch your breath and recharge, otherwise, you'd just end up "suffocating" each other. So, hobbies, "extracurriculars" and other stuff that a guy needs to live a full life are already taken care of, in my case. Believe me, I've got a list of hobbies/activities after work every day that'll leave you exhausted . So, I'm pretty certain that it's not because I'm bored or anything like that.

If u think she's really amazing & u dnt want to lose her, Marry Her. There's no point in delaying b4 sm1 else out smart u & u come here again to rant abt her leaving u....

Who is this now? Guess you're one of those people who think marriage is the solution to everything. If the time was right, don't you think I would have done that? And even if we were to get married, what's to say that work won't take her out of the state and we'd still have to deal with the distance? All these marriage-marriage people sef. As if that's the solution.

Metcoppo:
If u think she's really amazing & u dnt want to lose her, Marry Her. There's no point in delaying b4 sm1 else out smart u & u come here again to rant abt her leaving u....

I honestly don't have any good advice cos I tried it and it didn't work out. If we happen to be in the same place again, we'll probably pick up from where we left off but as far as now goes, I'm moving on with my life.

Am currently in one, its not easy... November 9 2013 till date we haven't even seen each other... Yours is even good, you see once a month... We've had trust issues before but I have learnt to understand her person... She is Aquarius and their characteristics is exactly what she displays most times... So I just let it slide, talking if calls all the time, hmmm, if u do that or she does that, we'll go bankrupt as we leave so faraway farther than Nigeria to America...

We have doubt's over the long distance relationship but we promised to write our own love story...

We spark up our love with surprises most times, she lost her BB, laptop in school hostel to armed robbers, and she was in her final year and knowing she'll need a PC to type and keep herself busy when she's bored, I bought a PC for her, with some clothes and shoes and had my friend deliver it on her birthday...

My birthday came and I received an alert through my mail id since my Nigerian number was out of service where I am I only get alert by mail and she paid in something I never imagined and I had some items in my online shopping cart and the money she sent was just the exact money I needed to buy those items... From that day onward, u started calling her my little winchy winchy...

We've had quarrels, fights, but never had course to call each other names, we are more like kids, forgive easily and always ready to say sorry...

Sometimes we have doubts, it may not work but right now, our love waxes stronger each day... Our families are aware of our relationship, she visits my mum when she is chanced and oh well mumc always reminds her that she misses her last chemical that always steals her Airtel credit through transfer... That woman dey fall my hand abeg...

True love do exist, no matter the distance, true love will always triumph...

markpenk:
Before y'all say "don't get in a long distance relationship in the first place", let's be honest, stuff happens. People get transferred, move to a different city, have to be away because of family... and so on. Now it would be easy to just end that relationship if what you had with the person wasnt real. But, when it's the real deal, it can be pretty tough to just let go.

Now this is my question: How do you deal with that sometimes overwhelming feeling of loneliness when you're in a long distance relationship? That sh*t can get very real very fast.

Please note that all the other options like hanging out with friends, getting busy, staying in touch with each other (talking to each other 2-3 times a day for at least 20 minutes each time) and seeing at least once a month have been explored.

Matured and reasonable advice please... preferably from people who have experienced or are in a similar situation/relationship.

I think the key to a long distance relationship is communication. both pple should have a set time where both of you guys can have at least an hour of talking. via phone or skype. hearing each other's voices for a long period of time is soothing and you feel more connected with the person. also make plans to see each other at least once a year. depending on the distance