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My Cousin Was Raped - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: My Cousin Was Raped by leggo: 1:43pm On Jan 05, 2015
Was it after she missed her period she remembered she was raped? Alternate scenario - she had consensual sex with said guy, misses period, tries to avoid blame for pre marital sex by shouting rape... Ok then.
Re: My Cousin Was Raped by Durchess(f): 2:48pm On Jan 05, 2015
thr is more 2 dis story...dats if its even true., y wld a victim wipe out d evidence
Re: My Cousin Was Raped by 5minsmadness: 2:57pm On Jan 05, 2015
Durchess:
thr is more 2 dis story...dats if its even true., y wld a victim wipe out d evidence
The first emotion a woman feels after rape is shame and disgust. Impulsively she wants to distance herself as far away from the incident as possible.

So she goes and has a bath to remove marks of the incident and also wash herself clean physically and emotionally. Its a reflex action. You cant really blame her for it.

Secondly she may not want to talk about the matter initially. Most girls that are successfully raped will wait a day, a week , a month, even a year before speaking out. Its all part of the distancing stuff.

Its just unfortunate that such actions make it difficult to prosecute the rapist when the time comes.
Re: My Cousin Was Raped by Nobody: 3:35pm On Jan 05, 2015
This one is strong o..
Re: My Cousin Was Raped by ogawisdom(m): 6:17pm On Jan 05, 2015
captcochrane:
26th of december? and has missed her period?

abeg, try again later

U r smart bro grin y did her sister visit a guy emitting sexual vibe to her alone in his house, dts a no no nw. I doubt she is was a virgin bc no virgin ll do dt. She was raped in his house dts nt possible bc she would ve shouted n raised her voice n neigbours ll come except d guy leaves in desert. I think d guy may ve forced her but she consented at some point. Op u added too may lies to d story making it unreal. She ws raped in 26 dec n pregnant by 5th Jan ie 10 days haba r u a learner

There is very little u can do except. Taking care of d girl medically check for std n ensure she is nt pregnant.

Next time tell ur sister nt to visit a guy in his house alone maka odikwa risky except she doesn't mind wateva happens or she trusts him
Re: My Cousin Was Raped by Nobody: 7:51pm On Jan 05, 2015
Don't she dare keep the foetus of a rapist!
Re: My Cousin Was Raped by SAMBARRY: 7:55pm On Jan 05, 2015
Gbam
RiffRaff:
It depends on how u want to handle the case.
1. Take her to d hospital. Explain to the Dr. They will run a pregnancy test & other STD test.
If she is pregnant. D Dr will xplain to u the procedure for a D&C.
After that, she will need help with her psyche cuz her self esteem will be at an all time low.
She is thinkin suicide already.. This is sumtin that will scar her for life so she will need alot of love, care & attention from u.
Then u have to treat this guys Bleep up. Get a friend that knows people.
Let them watch the guys movement. They should abduct him, beat the shi.t out of him and smash stone on his testicles.
Sumthing he will neva forget & let him know it is becuz he raped sum1.
There is a reason she told u. Its becuz she trust u & doesnt know how else to handle it.
This option is becuz u dont want to loud it. She is scared her of d norrmal Nigerian parent parole "What did u go and do in a guys house?" & the resultin embarassment.
I'd say F.uck it! Encourage her to tell her parent or u tell urs. It is better when an adult handle this case.

Option 2
2. Call her over to come tell ur parent. They will help her tell her parent cuz adult knows how to handle this kind of issue.
Trust me from there, things will be better. They will take care of her medically, emotionally & the boys Bleep'up will be treated accorrdingly.
even if na to go barracks, get soldiers to deal with the boy.
Lagos now has a sexual offenders list sef. So many things u can do to fustrate the boys life.
Start a blog, take a picture of the boy. Tell the story to the world. (only downside is people will want to know who d girl in d story is)

God knows i hate rapist: please if u need to deal with the boy. I am willing to help u. Pro-bono.

How old is ur cousin? How did it happen, where? Wasnt any1 around? Couldnt she have smashed his head wit bottle or anythin around.

PS: i have heard a girls 1st time of havin sex is always so trumatic that most of them classify it as rape.
I am not doubtin the story but please shed more light & probe deep into the story so it will be clearer.
How old is the guy & how old is ur cousin?
What is the relationship between them?
Re: My Cousin Was Raped by donkelz(m): 8:08am On Jan 06, 2015
To all of you who gave meaningful advices, thank you very much. To those who disbelieved and insulted me, it is part of life.

I was working on a very strong plan to get the guy and see that justice is served, but it seems things are not as they seem.

I've begged my cousin and sent her money to go and do tests in the hospital, told her to send me the guy's details (picture, phone number, address) but instead, she decided to chat with the bastard, and of course the bastard washed his hands off the matter and told her he's returned to school.

Give me all I've asked, including his school details since he's gone back, but she adamantly said no, unless I tell her my plan.

So what am gonna do is inform her parents, I think that's a good decision, since she's refused to corporate and is apparently pregnant from all signs and indications.

What do you think?
Re: My Cousin Was Raped by dhabeautyjas(f): 8:17am On Jan 06, 2015
donkelz:
To all of you who gave meaningful advices, thank you very much. To those who disbelieved and insulted me, it is part of life.

I was working on a very strong plan to get the guy and see that justice is served, but it seems things are not as they seem.

I've begged my cousin and sent her money to go and do tests in the hospital, told her to send me the guy's details (picture, phone number, address) but instead, she decided to chat with the bastard, and of course the bastard washed his hands off the matter and told her he's returned to school.

Give me all I've asked, including his school details since he's gone back, but she adamantly said no, unless I tell her my plan.

So what am gonna do is inform her parents, I think that's a good decision, since she's refused to corporate and is apparently pregnant from all signs and indications.

What do you think?
\\

from what you wrote, i think it was not rape, maybe they have been eyeing each other before, else, why will she be protecting the guy if truely she was raped?
Re: My Cousin Was Raped by nnamdiosu(m): 9:45am On Jan 06, 2015
donkelz:
My cousin just told me few minutes ago that she was raped on 26th December, last year by a male childhood friend that she went visiting.

She was a virgin and she's traumatized by the incidence. Am the only one that she's told about it and am short of words because;

#1 Its almost two weeks it occurred, without anyone being aware;

#2 She bathed and washed the clothes she wore during the incidence because it was bloody, thereby wiping off every evidence;

#3 She's missed her period, which means she is/might be pregnant;

#4 She's thinking of killing the baby or herself to avoid the shame and

#5 She's the only child.

Nairalanders, please I need honest advice, am so sad and dumbfounded about this tragedy.

N:B Mods please frontpage, I need urgent solutions, advices and recommendations fast!

please with immediate effect tell this story to her parents. let counselling and 24 hours watch be placed on her. she has started feeling suicidal and its a very dangerous thing. I suggest u do so NOW. (inform her parents)

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Re: My Cousin Was Raped by 5minsmadness: 10:49am On Jan 06, 2015
donkelz:
To all of you who gave meaningful advices, thank you very much. To those who disbelieved and insulted me, it is part of life.

I was working on a very strong plan to get the guy and see that justice is served, but it seems things are not as they seem.

I've begged my cousin and sent her money to go and do tests in the hospital, told her to send me the guy's details (picture, phone number, address) but instead, she decided to chat with the bastard, and of course the bastard washed his hands off the matter and told her he's returned to school.

Give me all I've asked, including his school details since he's gone back, but she adamantly said no, unless I tell her my plan.

So what am gonna do is inform her parents, I think that's a good decision, since she's refused to corporate and is apparently pregnant from all signs and indications.

What do you think?


I think its a case of a sexuaI encounter gone wrong.
Girl goes to guy's house. Girl is tripping for guy and guy is tripping for girl. They start small action but when things got to the main stuff, girl lost her nerve and wanted to back out. Boy saw this as a need to take charge and besides they have gone too far already, maybe both already naked. So boy takes charge and forces himself on girl. Girl offers little resistance but doesn't really fight as she is curious about the sex thing as well(being a virgin, looking to know what sex is all about).

When it is all over, girl realises it wasn't as great as she thought(for girls, the first time never is, what with the pain from being disvirgined and all). Guilt sets in. Girl leaves guys house feeling ashamed. Guy doesn't know what has happened and thinks he and the girl had it good. Girl goes home. Washes herself clean. When that doesn't work she tells a trusted friend or her parents. Her parents/trusted friends go ballistic but by the next day the feeling of shame and regret has reduced and girl is already feeling bad that she told anybody about it. All attempts to bring supposed rapist to book is met with stiff resistance by the girl.


Guy, you have done your part. Leave her to settle herself.
Re: My Cousin Was Raped by veave(f): 1:26pm On Jan 06, 2015
5minsmadness:
She had sex on the 26th and Ten days later she has missed her period? Hmmmn.


Anyway, rape cases are delicate in that you need evidence to show she was actually raped. Most girls that get disvirgined even after agreed/consensual sex feel guilty soon afterwards, especially if it wasn't as good as they were expecting. Some of them feel so bad they turn around to say they were raped because that eases the guilt.

However, even if she was raped you have to look out for signs of a struggle. Did she have scratches or bites or was she bleeding from anywhere else apart from her vagina? If she had gone to hospital immediately they would have checked for all these.

She may also have contracted a sexual disease.

The main issue now is that legally its her word against his unless he confesses to raping her.
She should do a pregnancy test to check if she really is pregnant.

Ask her if she wants you to arrange guys to beat him up. Wether her response is yes or no, ask her to explain her response. Watch her body language. I have arranged for police to arrest a rapist before only for the girl to say I should stop that she has forgiven him. In one week they were in a relationship again.


All the best.



Well, i really don't know about the asking thing. Even if she wasn't raped and it was consensual, for the fact that his sister was tampered with at all is reason enough for a good beating. Op should mend him first, then discuss the way forward later. Thats what big brothers are for. To protect their sisters pride
Re: My Cousin Was Raped by veave(f): 1:27pm On Jan 06, 2015
5minsmadness:



I think its a case of a sexuaI encounter gone wrong.
Girl goes to guy's house. Girl is tripping for guy and guy is tripping for girl. They start small action but when things got to the main stuff, girl lost her nerve and wanted to back out. Boy saw this as a need to take charge and besides they have gone too far already, maybe both already naked. So boy takes charge and forces himself on girl. Girl offers little resistance but doesn't really fight as she is curious about the sex thing as well(being a virgin, looking to know what sex is all about).

When it is all over, girl realises it wasn't as great as she thought(for girls, the first time never is, what with the pain from being disvirgined and all). Guilt sets in. Girl leaves guys house feeling ashamed. Guy doesn't know what has happened and thinks he and the girl had it good. Girl goes home. Washes herself clean. When that doesn't work she tells a trusted friend or her parents. Her parents/trusted friends go ballistic but by the next day the feeling of shame and regret has reduced and girl is already feeling bad that she told anybody about it. All attempts to bring supposed rapist to book is met with stiff resistance by the girl.


Guy, you have done your part. Leave her to settle herself.



You are wise

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