What I have documented here is a guide for girls to help them live happily. Of course, fathoming a girl’s mind is impossible and I have since long given it up. So what I have here instead is an unofficial classification of guys that you might come across in your everyday life.


This being the season of hook-ups and matchmaking, I thought it might prove to be helpful. However, there’s something that is acknowledged universally – no matter how much you try to make them happy, humans will find a way to misery and sufferings. And girls, being almost as human as human beings, aren’t very different. So although this write up aims at helping the fairer of the two sexes, I doubt if it will succeed. So here we go – the guys classified. Guys who feel they do not belong to any of the categories list, kindly forgive my ignorance.

A word of caution: Girls who fantasize about kissing frogs, swinging with spidermen and galloping with Sir Galahad, the great, better stop right here.



1. The “ITs”:

Ready-made marriageable materials. Never had
an affair with another girl. High pay. Foreign trips guaranteed and will own a car. For girls who love shopping – they are jackpots.

However, most of them being Computer engineers, Electrical engineers, Mechanical engineers or some such engineers, they do not really know how to treat girls which can be remedied with a little training. The conversations are restricted to email hacking, job shifting and pay hikes. The most worrying fact however is a recent survey, which indicates a lowering libido in these guys. (WHOOPS!!!)

Hook-up quotient: 7.08714/10

Where do you find them: Every second person you
meet.


The “MBAs and the corporates”:

He is better than what he was before he did his MBA. With training in conversation skills, he will keep you interested.

He is a bit too mechanical and also the smile on
his face is usually frozen. Will have loads of friend-
girls who will be beautiful and smart enough to make you jealous and suspicious. Of course, he will have enough excuses at hands if he gets late and comes home drunk.

Hook-up quotient: 6.333/10

How do you find them: The vernacular simpleton
who now talks only in English.

The “NRN”s (Non Resident Nigeria):

The lucky bastards!! Yes indeed, the luckiest. His
average salary when converted into Naira is
more than that of the IT-guy. Has an accent to
impress you along with the stories that happen
“abroad”.

Being tired of a number of flings with Edo and Ibo girls, the guy wants to settle with a simple yoruba girl. The girl would of course end up being a cook and maid to his house. But that’s the way things go.

Hookup quotient: 9.998/10

Where do you find them: Nairaland.com

The ICD (I care damn) flirts:

The guys the girls will go out with.
Dele and me recently came up with this theory
after some logical arguments:

Me: Girls have a choice to be happy…but they
wont be which is just natural

Dele: yeah I always wonder… why that is so
natural

Me: I guess they have a fondness for misery
It’s like this…
Misery breeds misery.

So the guy become miserable
. Then the girls have someone to be motherly
with and take care of which is again their
natural instinct, I guess.

Dele: yup, we guess.

So this is that guy girls shouldn’t be with but will
always end up being with. The guy knows how to
make the girl happy. Right from the start he will let
her know that he doesn’t believe in commitment.
And all this does is turn on the girl. Good times
will ensure. Heated arguments will follow. You will
break up with him only to realize that he wasn’t
with you at all. The girl will end up marrying the “IT” guy or an “NRN”.

Hookup quotient: 1.665*10^34/10

Where do you find them: The guy riding a bike
with a T-shirt that says, “Denial is a good thing if
used correctly”

The “friend”ly guy:

The most lovable idiot. He will always be around.
Mind you he is in love with you but will never let
you know and get drunk on the day you get
married and some years later will take your kids to
the zoo.

Of course since he won’t be asking you out, there’s
not much you can do. However, if you do like him,
it’s not a bad idea to emotionally blackmailing him
to the limit until he confesses his feelings. Girls
will stay happily ever after but of course that
makes life very boring and these things never
happen. The beer and the zoo take their own
course.

Hook-Up quotient: 1.5521/10

Where do you find them: There’s one around every
girl


The last and also the least:…

The Artist’'s”

Oh, just leave them alone. They are just harmless
souls. The last of all the options and always
available.

Hook-up quotient: minus 85.68825555/10

Where do you find them: Ask yours’ truly ℓ☺ℓ.

Nice 1

Incase sha

Lol
Artists!!!
I no go ever leave them, they don't talk much, even eyeing one now (not you op)

WTF?

Justeenaleo:
Lol
Artists!!!
I no go ever leave them, they don't talk much, even eyeing one now (not you op)

Haha , funny you...i get the drift dearie, you don't have to spit it out. ℓ☺ℓ

Hahaha! Nice one op

omo! OP.... Chop knuckles....lol.. Nice one