Wow!I don register...following with the speed of light!


Flow...yah head dey dia!

Psalmwise:
#majestically walks in...,I grit u all in dis room in d name of d father and d son and d holyspirit...,may we enjoy dis story to d end amen,



#Brings out bread and beans,....,cum nd join me ooo

Toykathy,ritababe,logoDwhiz, where are thou? Space dey my front and back oo

no mess for this room with ur beans oh

i don come, oya shift wella

Psalmwise:
#majestically walks in...,I grit u all in dis room in d name of d father and d son and d holyspirit...,may we enjoy dis story to d end amen,



#Brings out bread and beans,....,cum nd join me ooo

Toykathy,ritababe,logoDwhiz, where are thou? Space dey my front and back oo

ritababe:


no mess for this room with ur beans oh

my mess no dey smell bad...persn even confess tell me say e dey smell lik missparis....,jez sit back and relax...today own go smell lik hausa perfume(cos nah hausa sell am for me)

toykathy:
i don come, oya shift wella

owk...welcome u go chop(shows her bread and beans)

toykathy:
i don come, oya shift wella

I see you toykathy

Psalmwise:
my mess no dey smell bad...persn even confess tell me say e dey smell lik missparis....,jez sit back and relax...today own go smell lik hausa perfume(cos nah hausa sell am for me)

Palmwine abi na @Palmwise....u neva change with al yah kind smelling fud,!anyway I gat yah melesin 4 here

Una zoom una..."Chistar family"...Oya oga OP wey dey wait patiently

buoye1:
Palmwine abi na @Palmwise....u neva change with al yah kind smelling fud,!anyway I gat yah melesin 4 here

chai u no sabi food...,dat food u re saying as medicinal benefit

Thz i'll pass, i dnt like beans just bring dat chilled yoghurt.

Psalmwise:
owk...welcome u go chop(shows her bread and beans)

ritababe:


and u nor call me, na wa oh


bunsky, yurme make una come oh

no vex jare
welcome

Oya close ur eyes nah, i just dey hide here.

buoye1:
I see you toykathy

sTaY TuNeD .....

sTaY TuNeD .....mamaToykathy I site you

#AyamNite....

Living walker go and sleep

Livingwalker:
sTaY TuNeD .....

chisos toykathy,livingwalker,buoye1 so una nvr sleep at dat kind time

"ennnnnnnnnn!! who mess!!" The odour was killing, a weapon of office destruction.

Destroying the fresh air in the air conditioned office.

"e no go better for the person wey mess" Segun cursed.

"what is smelling?" Kel asked a rather Rhethorical question.

"na air freshener dey smell, Irish air freshener!!!" I almost said.

The gas was released from the a'nus of no one else but the one that f'arted and his Jean trousers tore, the one that his fart smelt like Nitrogen gas, the one that his f'art smelt like rotten egg spiced with over fermented Palmwine garnished with burnt Kuli Kuli. Amos was his name, but i wished his parents named him f'art Joe.

"Amos! you do well oh" I commended, with my both hands on my nose.

I instantly caught Asthma, I could barely breathe.

Just then, Mr Wole came out of his office to the reception where we were.

"gen gen!! this one don come to smell this mess" The f'art had diffused all over the room.

"what is smelling here?" Mr Wole's extra large nose had done the job it could do best. It's ability to percieve was very sharp.

"Sir, i think it's the food of the woman that sells food in the restaurant downstairs, she has started cooking this her beans again" Amos tryed to cover up his sins, his f'art rather.

"how can Mama Sikiru's beans smell this way" Mr Wole fell for his lies.

"Sir, how you take know say her name na Mama Sikiru?" I wondered how our boss knew that the woman that sold food downstairs was Mama Sikiru.

"abi oga dey go Wak for there!!" I was still wondering, because i had never met him downstairs eating. Or so i thought.

"ennnnnnnnn!!" James cried.

"what kind of beans smells this way?" Mr Wole spoke like he couldn't differentiate between Beans and f'art.

"na German beans" I almost said.

"Kel! get the air freshner, and spray it here!!!" I thought i heard him said: "get the gun and shot Amos", i would had been glad, infact gladder than his wife Gladys.

Mr Gladys Akeju!!! Average in Height, Chocolate in Complexion, Yoruba in Intonation, Lepa in Size, Catwalking in Steps, and yet between 35-45 in Age. And if i must add, Sickler in Health............... Or so i thought.

She loved her husband so much, but i don't think her husband loved her half as much. A good cook, or so i thought, hardworking, loved her children so very much, a devoted christian, prays always, infact a characteristics of a Virtuous woman according to the Bible. Sometimes i wished she was my mum, or better still, my second mum.

Kel sprayed the air freshener directing it 75% of the time to where Amos'es a'ss was. I never blamed her actions, we all knew that Amos was an award winning "Fartima".

"we are done sir!" I announced, as i finished packing my Anual report.

The time was 17:59 when we left the office. And it was time to be nowhere else but; Mama Sikiru Restaurant and Bar.

adegwurulez:

Ow jeez!!!

Was that funny?

buoye1:
Wow!I don register...following with the speed of light!


Foxy...yah head dey dia!

welcome on board

flow1759:



Was that funny?

damn right it was. You murdered it

lol......nice one flow

Psalmwise:
chisos toykathy,livingwalker,buoye1 so una nvr sleep at dat kind time

I be fowl? Why i go sleep early?

God make yhu bigger.welcome back

fartima........dat got me cracking. Weldone flow.

ritababe:


and u nor call me, na wa oh


bunsky, yurme make una come oh

my love i don show.
Howdy?

damn my favourite writer is back..welcome back flow...still you flow

flow...flow... flow... y u go use one full update analyse mess na?

Nice one

Fa'rtima!!!making me "LOLing"

Bunsky:
my love i don show.
Howdy?

welcome back

ritababe:


welcome back

tnx dear

"Mama Sikiru! give me two pounded yam and vegetable soup" Segun Ordered.

Two wraps of Mama Sikiru's pounded yam couldn't be compared to a conventional two wraps, it could be compared to say Five of a conventional pounded Yam wraps. Or so i thought.

"Sege!! you wan kill yourself!!" i yelled.

"wetin concern you, abi na your money i go use buy am? or na your belle i dey chop am put?"

"madam abeg give me one bottle of Odeku jor" James ordered.

"And me too!!" All my friends loved the drink with the trademark 1759. Except for Segun.


"abeg give me Rice and Pepper soup, plus Odeku" That was Amos'es favorite combination


"abeg give me Coke make i drink" Guess who said that? Me!!.

Yes!! i took a break from drinking my Favorite 1759 aka Odeku or any other acoholic drink.


"Flow!!!! wetin happen, you no drink Odeku today" James inquired.

"Oboy!! I no well" I borrowed that cliche from Amos. And he smiled.


Truth be told, the last time i drank Odeku, I stooled for three days. On one occassion, i had dashed into a nearby Bank to do my thing, after doing my thing, the odour was so much that i thought it was diffusing from the toilet into the Banking hall, the bank had no air freshener handy so i opened the windows, but still that couldn't help(Zenith Bank Forgive me), since i couldn't do anything about the odour i ran leaving the toilet door open, immediately i opened the door leading to the Banking hall, i collided with someone; a man on suit with his hands on his Nose, my mind told me he was the Bank manager so i ran out of the Bank in other for me not be arrested.

When i got home that day, my conclusion was; i had drank Fake Odeku the prevoius night because i had never stooled with my p'oo smelling similar to burnt Tyre.


"You no well abi?? wetin dey sick you? you get O'kor Junction?" Amos dragged my right hand from my trouser pocket, i was practising "scratch and win" promo, my p'ubic hair really etched.

O'kor Junction is not a junction in the heart of Ikeja Lagos, it is a Pidgin slang, i think it can be best described as Peyronie's Disease.

But it wasn't Peyronie's disease that i caught, what i caught was "unwarranted shave", i over shaved my p'ubic hair so it resulted in none stop etching. Infact i had scratched out the upper layer of the skin in that region and i could feel droplets of blood coming out.

"na your Papa get O'kor junction" I cursed.

"same to you" James replied.

As i saw two bottles ice chilled Odeku on a tray, i salivated.


My eyes drifted from that to another two bottles of Odeku, natural Odeku. I wished i could drink.