Here’s what guys are really looking for (but won’t—or can’t tell you)!

As most women have noticed, there are two types of men. Behind curtain number one is the type of guy who is absolutely smitten with his girlfriend—he puts her on a pedestal, treats her like a queen, and places her happiness above their own. The other is the type who’s labeled a “commitment-phobe”—he doesn’t appear to enjoy being in a relationship, acting as if his commitment is of the involuntary kind.

But, while it may appear that the second type of guy is in the majorty, statistics actually say otherwise. In fact, a recent study found that 95% of men openly admit that they see marriage as one of their ultimate life goals.

It all comes down to how a man sees commitment. To a guy, it’s like cracking a combination lock; if the numbers don’t line up, he’ll be emotionally distant and unavailable, rather than all in. He might even come up with several one-liners that women undoubtedly find frustrating: “I need to focus on my career,” “I just need space,” or, “I’m just not ready for a relationship right now.”

These one-liners aren’t lies. He really believes what he’s saying because the “numbers” of his commitment code aren’t lining up. In other words, when he says “I’m just not ready for a relationship right now,” what he really means is “I’m just not ready for a relationship with you.”

When he finally comes across that one woman who creates the right sequence of “numbers” to unlock his commitment combination, he’ll feel compelled to hang onto her. He’ll commit because he doesn’t want to risk losing her.

So, now we know commitment isn’t some sort of man allergy. But now you have to crack the code. Easier said than done, considering the average man isn’t great at communicating his emotional needs. That’s where I come in …

Here are five things guys (won’t tell you they) need before they’ll commit:

1. He needs to feel desire. One of the keys to learning how to make your man happy is basic, animalistic desire. In the pit of his stomach, he needs to want you, long for you, yearn for you. He needs to miss you when you’re not around and he needs to feel a pang of lust when he hasn’t seen you for some time. This desire is created through the play of opposites. He’ll crave you and then he catches you; he’ll miss you and then falls into you; he’ll lust for you and then you’ll surrender to him. It’s the creating and the release of tension over and over again.

The way you create this tension is through your s3xuality—tease him and then give in, playfully run from him and then allow him to capture you, add levity and spontaneity to his life, give him lustful stares and then leave the room, send him s3xy notes during the day, grab him and kiss him unexpectedly. In summation, use your powerful feminine qualities to contrast his serious and calculated masculine nature.

2. He needs to know that you respect him. Respect is a cardinal virtue; it is the foundation of any relationship that endures and stands the test of time. Respect can help reignite a relationship long after the flame of love and lust has sputtered. Many men, in fact, marry the woman who respects him, even over the woman who loves them. Men may sleep with, talk to, and care about the woman they love, but often love (apologies to John Lennon) isn’t all they need.

A lot of this has to do with the term “I love you.” To a man and a woman, this term can have different meanings. A man may interpret it as “don’t hurt me” or even “you’re trapped.” Men see the love from a woman as more of a commodity than something novel. Of course, the words make him feel good when he hears them, but they don’t sing to his soul. Men have crippling inadequacies they silently battle their entire lives. Not just some men … all men.

It comes from their cultural programming. This is the reason men are so competitive. When a woman can murmur in his ear her admiration (“I’m proud of you”), encouragement (“I believe in you”), and acknowledgement (“You’re a good man”), she speaks directly to a wounded part of his psyche that is desperately yearning for respect and approval.

So, figure out why you respect your man. What are you proud of him for? What can you acknowledge him for? How can you make him feel good about himself? Then, tell him. Don’t tell him merely that you love him, tell him why you love him.

Read more at: http://9jaexclusive.net/easy-5-secrets-to-cracking-the-guy-code-and-winning-his-heart-forever/

u know my man can't tell any reason why he loves me. when i ask tell me at least 3 things why u love me (though it should be voluntary telling innit?) he doesn't have what to say. i, however, had hundreds of things to say why i love him. not anymore