Buhari: How are you, gentleman.

Ekwueme: Fine, thank you. What are you up to?

Buhari: Nothing. So you are still in that party?

Ekeueme: Yes, I am still in PDP. Any problem with that?

Buhari: No, no problem at all. The only minor problem is that this time, you will not escape my wickedness. If I have my way, I will jail you for 501 years as punishment for being Member, Board of Trustee of PDP, a rival party.

Ekwueme: Is it an offence to be a member of PDP?

Buhari: In my own view, yes. That is simply corruption.

Ekwueme: How do you mean, rtd. General without certificate?

Buhari: If you are not with us then you are our enemy and all our enemies are corrupt.

Ekwueme: So if I am with you in APC I will be your friend and I will not be corrupt.

Buhari: Exactly. Abacha was my friend and as you can see he is not corrupt.

Ekwueme: Are you serious? Even with all his millions of stolen loot they are returning to the federal government from all over the world?

Buhari: I do not care whether they return billions of US$. Another example is Tinubu. He is in APC and that is why he is not corrupt.

Ekwueme: Even Tinubu who stole Lagos dry is not corrupt? Do you know that Tinubu converted almost all Lagos state govt properties to his personal properties?

Buhari: I do not care. As long as Tinubu is working with me, he is not corrupt.

Ekwueme: I am learning a new meaning of corruption.

Buhari: You better learn fast before it is too late. Please do the needful. Join us now before it is too late. You know what I did to you and your people last time. I can still do it. Do not dare me. Nigerians only want to hear that I am fighting corruption. They do not want to know how. Nigerians do not believe in due process, they believe in action whether negative or positive.

Ekwueme: Really?

Buhari: Yes. You can doubt me if you like. You will only find out when I start jailing you all for nothing. Nigerians do not care. They will be hailing me as long as those am jailing are not directly related to them.

Ekwueme: That is not why am here anyway. I came to find out why you do not think you are too old to manage a country as massive as Nigeria? Moreover, you are sick.

Buhari: I know am too old. But what do you expect in a society where the youths refuse to grow? If there are capable youths to take over from us, we would not be here. Isn't it?

Ekwueme: Yes, yes. It is true. You are right. Our youths have no confidence in themselves. The boy in Italy, Matteo Renzi (PM) is 39 years. Slovakia's PM, Robert Fico is 45 years. David Cameron is 48 while Obama is just 53 and on his eight year as President of not just the USA but also the whole world.

Buhari: You are very correct.

Ekwueme: But our own fifty years and above old men and women are killing themselves saying that we are the only age grade that can change their society for them.

Buhari: Everytime I hear that, I wonder what they mean by change. Is change not suppose to be for the younger ones to substitute us with themselves?

Ekwueme: You are right. They are suppose to be changing their society from old to new. But instead, they are working towards changing from new to old.

Buhari: In civilised countries, my mates are all enjoying their retirement because the younger ones have successfully taken over. But in Nigeria, the younger ones, lazy as they are and very pampered, say I can not go on retirement because only me, a 92-year-old grandpa, is able to put food on their table, provide them with fuel and kerosene, fight corruption on their behalf, e.t.c., in a country of about 180Million people of which the labour force should be approximately 80Million energetic young men.

Ekwueme: Our boys and girls have refused to learn anything meaningful for the development of our society. Most of them spend 25 hours a day on facebook gossiping without shame. The men now gossip more than women.

Buhari: When a group of men and women above 60 years of age lack absolute confidence in managing their society successfully, without our input, when comparatively, we started managing this same country as early as when we were just 20 years and a little above, then you know that our society is doomed.

Ekwueme: This is critical.

Buhari: No one should blame me. It is not my fault at all. I did not invite myself into APC. I did not nominate myself. I did not vote for myself at the primary election. Please blame our youths that want to die crawling. At forty our youths are still using feeding bottle.

Ekwueme: This is a societal embarrassment. I hope they will not wake up one day and ask us to go to Olympics and Commonwealth games to win gold medals for them, since they have been trying without success.

Buhari: My friend, that is another problem entirely. If they ask me to go to Olympics or Commowealth for them because they cannot win gold medals, Walahi, I will enter coffin alive and even bury myself. Enough is enough. The last thing I will do is to face Hussein Bolt on the track. God forbid. No one can disgrace me forever.

Ekwueme: Who knows, they might want us to go to African Cup of Nation for them since Keshi and his boys could not even qualify.

Buhari: When you have a situation where thirty years old adults are inviting a man old enough to be their great grandfather to come and lead them as president or in any leadership role, then the future is bleak.

Ekwueme: What do we do about this? How do we solve this problem?

Buhari: It is easy. After all, I am not hoping to win anyway. Tell your people to ‪#‎StandWithJonathan‬ and thus ‪#‎VoteJonathan‬ but please keep it a secret. Tinubu must not know about our discussion.

Ekwueme: Ok. I will. I promise. You are truly the people's General.

senseless and mean less time waisting joke

funny! very funny!