There is no need for too much argument here...the lady am dating now is a product of a broken family, initially I was having it in my mind to marry her,but now I have changed my mind,because she cannot cook,the only food she can cook is indomie,and even when she finished cooking she will want to leave the pot and plate for me to wash,except if remaind her,in addition to that,she is very poor hygienically,she doesn't removed her shoe if she wants to enter my kitchen....she is also an incurable liar,....those of you claiming there is nothing wrong with ladies from broken family should rethink...

TooNoisy:


Marriage itself is very discriminatory. If as a young lady, I have about 100,000 men that could potentially be a partner and I had to choose only one, then I will discriminate a whole lot. You will have to discriminate based on religion, height, weight, looks, character, feelings, culture, education, intelligence, background, etcö

If you don't want to discriminate, you can go ahead and marry any man that proposes to you! The act of making one choice among so many potential choices is discriminatory.

you too much

udmbat:

That's exactly what she wants. She wants me to give away everything.

That's unreasonable on her part!!!


She's simply insecure and immature at heart, you mind telling me her age bracket?

irishCream:


That's unreasonable on her part!!!


She's simply insecure and immature at heart, you mind telling me her age bracket?

<24

udmbat:


<24

I bet if she's still single at 27 her perception will change towards attention in relationships, i guess she's still in school?

pple frm broken homes are nomal peepz like every orda person jst dat derz always a psychological effect of wat d've xperienced & gone tru in dem no matter aw gud, innocent & wonderful dey appear to b..... TankGod 4 ma family tho & TankGod 4 nairaland (we shall all overcome by God's grace)

Shymm3x:


Now, folks who lost their dads are different cos all they will have are great/positive memories of him and they'll always lead their lives to make him proud. Even if they don't care, mums will always remind them. You can't even call that a "broken home" per se cos there won't be too much negativity there...though the father figure would still be missing. Dealing with chics from this background should be far easier than the ones from broken homes with bitter mums.

Looool. What happened to ya dad? Ijebu men are always faithful, though it seems they also like polygyny (an oxymoron but that is how they get down lool).

I think I agree with you on this. To add to that, I think the level of emotional baggage a lady raised by a single mom would carry is largely dependent on the mom's perception of the dad. If the dad is late then the mom would most likely pass a positive perception of the dad to the daughter which will in turn give the lady a positive view of the male gender. However if both parents got separated and the lady was raised by the mom, yep the bitterness the mom feels for the dad will most likely be inprinted on the daughter. Unless the mom in question is very objective, open minded and realises that she has a responsibility of not allowing her own love life be mirrored on that of her daughter........

yetseyi:

Your stats is amazing but I don't agree with you at all, Kai ladies have suffered ooo, see the way you are describing Nigerian ladies, that's not fair at all. I will still say (as I have always said) you guys need to move with the right set of Ladies and the fake stats you have up there will drop drastically besides the average Nigerian description of beauty is primarily being fair, so for most naija guys as long as you are not "yellow" you are not beautiful.

You know you need to get involved in religion, you were a proper religious Ijebu guy. Shymexx defender. of the black race loool.

Hope you will create a thread for ojude oba this year.

Loool. I don't even count being a lighty as being beautiful (I've a younger cousin from North Ldn who thinks only lighties are good looking and all dark skinned chics are fugly lool - his dad is from Ijebu Ode, ya part of Ijebuland looool)...though a lot of them are. Moreover, most naija lighties are never even good looking...they always make looking light-skinned plain. Perhaps it's cos they're notorious for skin bleaching with Fela Kuti's "yellow fever" symptoms everywhere loool. I prefer my caramel and dark skinned chics with ridiculous bodies.

There are no right set of naij ladies...they're all the same. Let me check my family. My brother is married to a naija chic. Then two of my Uncles married naij women, and both are now separated from their wives. One is having fun, while the other is now with a Sierra Leonean chic...the rest are married to Ghanaians. Even my cousins aren't left out of the equation. Almost all of them are with chics from all kinds of countries, apart from two. The one that married very early at age 23 to a naij chic is now separated from his wife...but he likes his Yoruba chics and he has scooped up a next one. And the one that use to come on this forum is dating some Igbo or some chic from that South South part of naij. Round here, no one has time for naij chics...maybe me, cos I like clowning them loool. Even my boys aren't even into naij chics like that. True story.

Nah, ain't no one got time to defend the black race - that's a lost cause. I just defend myself and my blackness, while talking about my reality as a black man. It's just basically about trying to find what's natural to you as a black person, and not getting involved in other people's battle for supremacy. I already have my plate full as a black man in this white man's world - no time getting involved in other people's nonsense lool.

Hopefully. I'll see if I can get pics on the internet. There's also a next Ijebu group I have on my friend list on a dummy facebook account - I'll check it as well.

Ifebazz:

Don't worry, when she starts to manifest the traits that led her mum to be kicked out of her father's house you'd know whether it matters. Women are easily bonded to their mother, hence she subliminally teaches her her ways to outwit the husband. Show me your mother and its not far from who you are!

lies lies nd lies again. I am 4rm a broken home nd I have a more solid idea abt marriage dan ma hubby sef ur bacvkground ddoesnt define u de choices you make as an individual you have to decide to stay married its a choice

jeronimo:


I think I agree with you on this. To add to that, I think the level of emotional baggage a lady raised by a single mom would carry is largely dependent on the mom's perception of the dad. If the dad is late then the mom would most likely pass a positive perception of the dad to the daughter which will in turn give the lady a positive view of the male gender. However if both parents got separated and the lady was raised by the mom, yep the bitterness the mom feels for the dad will most likely be inprinted on the daughter. Unless the mom in question is very objective, open minded and realises that she has a responsibility of not allowing her own love life be mirrored on that of her daughter........

I wholeheartedly agree with the excerpt in bold.

And about a bitter person being objective, especially with women who are notorious for having emotional impulses - don't bet on that. Women are always right in their heads and that's the message they'll pass to their kids.

Progress2468:


But the home she comes from defines her idea about marriage

nope staying married is a choice you have to decide dts what you want to do I. Am 4rm a broken home but ma marriage is solid cos I built it on de rite foundation nd. Made a choice not to end like ma parents wit ma hubby love. Nd support we are getting. Dere

100% I will. except it's not love that bond's marriage.

autaspakladi:
There is no need for too much argument here...the lady am dating now is a product of a broken family, initially I was having it in my mind to marry her,but now I have changed my mind,because she cannot cook,the only food she can cook is indomie,and even when she finished cooking she will want to leave the pot and plate for me to wash,except if remaind her,in addition to that,she is very poor hygienically,she doesn't removed her shoe if she wants to enter my kitchen....she is also an incurable liar,....those of you claiming there is nothing wrong with ladies from broken family should rethink...

her attitude is not cos of her home its her choice am from a broken home married nd living well life is abt choices she has choosen to be lazy that's her wahala

mikkypel:


Do you know our parent's problem? Whenever they see someone from a particular place who did evil to a person either a relative or a far away person but one way or the other got the news.. They take all the people from the place as the same.. They begin to give you several warnings. You must not marry from here, from there.. They are evil, They still believe in traditional cultures (like our own town doesn't do the same), They don't stay in husband's house, They don't make a good wife, They don't Bury their daughter in their husband's house... All this got me thinking if I will pick my wife from heaven.. GOD bless this OP from raising this topic.. At least it makes more sense and educative than the porns we have been seeing on FP lately

Do you know all these my parent's warnings had really affected my choice of choosing.. I'm the kind of guy that leap b4 looking, I would be seriously involved in a lady b4 I begin to make her backgrounds research and whenever I get all this blemishes my parents had warned me about.. I get fed up and begin to find a way out.. Ignorance is still the problem anyway

then find a white chick!

Shymm3x:


He's right though. Most women broken homes are somewhat problematic due to the lack of father figure in their lives, whilst growing up. It's a mental thing and once they get with a guy - they automatically expect him to provide what's lacking.

I don't know how to explain it...but you have to be with one to know how messed up they're.

we are no messed u biko haa I was raised by my dad nd ican love more dan dose frm complete homes ammarried with kids ma hubby 4gets. Am frm a broken home sef been bitter is achoice u make.

bukatyne:
@Thread, I have some quedtions:

Do seperated /divorced couples have only female children?

Are we saying a wife rather stays with a cheat or abuser than leave so that her daughters are not stigmatized in future?

Are we saying everyone who grows up in an 'unbroken' family makes Good wives? Nevermind What type of home it was.

Why don't men consider this when they break up with cheating wives? (we know men are prone to divorce cheating wives than vice versa)

Thanks in advance

well!! The truth is you can never have a positive answer on this, you know why?

We men are the most confuse and choosing set of human when it comes to relationship.

So! One may like it and the other may not. No direct answer to your question

The tragedy of broken home prejudice is that it often keeps other people from realizing the true potentials of offsprings from such homes. I'm a 'product' of such a home, it is a tough nut to crack, but I'm NOT broken! Thanks to those who have shared their opinions without a stereotypical mindset. May you all continue to grow in wisdom!

For those who, based on one or two experience(s), are now of the opinion that "most" or "all" products of broken homes will inevitably turn out to be 'damaged,' I recommend that you have repeated exposure to individuals within this stereotyped group so there'll be a reduction in prejudice. Because I've heard it said that prejudice is just another word for ignorance so if you must overcome this uninformed 'ignorance' then you must work to become aware of it.

I married from broken home, it's even better self

andyanders:


Well said.It is very unfortunate that people go into such relationship by getting married from a broken home without asking questions or by getting to know reasons for the breakup.Most kids who come from a broken home do have some kind of psychological problems as a result of what they have been feed with.

The parents could end up telling them negative or positive side of the reasons for the break up which that child might end up having at teh back of her mind anytime she is going into any relationship. The mother could also wanna make sure that she dictates to her daughter advising her to make sure that the man doesn't look down on her and if he does, she should walk out of the relationship.

I knew a lady from a broken home who later started having issues from her marriage after having 3 kids and later her marriage broke up.She confided in me that it was exactly what happened to her mum, that happened to her.Same way her mother left her marriage and her father later took another wife.

I dunno if you are a siritual person but that's what we call repetition nd she didn't handle. It with prayers b4 gettig married dats y she crashed de mistakes of a mother shldnt repeat in de life of her kids u learn from your parents nd u choose to either be or not be like dem its ur choice

I was about to type something similar. Well said, Bukatyne.

I don't understand this mentality.

How many 'intact' homes are healthy? How about the abusive ones that the spouse stayed? The males and females of such can either be affected negatively or positively.

We need to be careful about the messages that we pass across.

So, can anyone answer the questions Bukatyne asked?

Or is it only women that are created to suffer in unhealthy marriages. Why can't men also stay with abusive or cheating wives? Food for thought.

Individuals are responsible for their choices. We have to use whatever experience we have either positively or negatively.

bukatyne:
@Thread, I have some quedtions:

Do seperated /divorced couples have only female children?

Are we saying a wife rather stays with a cheat or abuser than leave so that her daughters are not stigmatized in future?

Are we saying everyone who grows up in an 'unbroken' family makes Good wives? Nevermind What type of home it was.

Why don't men consider this when they break up with cheating wives? (we know men are prone to divorce cheating wives than vice versa)

Thanks in advance

Shymm3x:


Looool. Though I still need to see ya pics - you are definitely not in the group. You know I will always give you a pass loool.

But really and truly, most naij chics aren't good looking and 99.999% of them have attitude problems. Yes, you'd see a few nice ones from time to time, however, the overwhelming majority of them are basic - yet they don't know how to act lool. Folks talk about travelling to different countries for holz citing beautiful women as one of the reasons...but I don't know anyone who talks about beautiful women when talking about naij. That alone should paint a perfect picture for you. Also, only a naij chic would see a guy somewhere, send folks to go get his number, and still give him that nasty attitude when he rings her...just to prove a point looooooool. My Uncles call them crazy crack head biitches loool.

True. I have got different layers of Muslims in my family as well. Heck, I have got a Muslim name on my BC (stopped using it in College but a few people from my pops side still call me by the name). Anyway, that's why I don't get involved in all the religious crap - I let Arabs and Europeans battle on ideology supremacy and focus on my blackness.

LOLZ REPENT OHH.

TRULY SPEAKING THERE ARE really CRACK HEADED BIIITCHES

WHEN I CAME OUT OF 3 BROKEN RELATIONSHIP, THAT'S WHEN I KNOW THAT PARTICULAR FEMALE SPECIES CALLED NAIJA WOMEN ARE REALLY WORTHLESS PEOPLE ON EARTH

autaspakladi:
There is no need for too much argument here...the lady am dating now is a product of a broken family, initially I was having it in my mind to marry her,but now I have changed my mind,because she cannot cook,the only food she can cook is indomie,and even when she finished cooking she will want to leave the pot and plate for me to wash,except if remaind her,in addition to that,she is very poor hygienically,she doesn't removed her shoe if she wants to enter my kitchen....she is also an incurable liar,....those of you claiming there is nothing wrong with ladies from broken family should rethink...

A COMMENT BLASTER

THERE IS NO HOPE!

The answer to this question does not really lie on the broken home fact.

Lots of issues can make a person to be emotionally unstable.

I know of homes that are not broken but the father drinks and smoke and it robbed off on the kids as well, so will you also ask to know if that's a factor for marrying them.

Before I got married my wife told me her mum asked all this questions, weather my parents were still together and weather my father married more than 1 woman.

As a matter of fact some mother will rather marry dir daughter to a guy from a broken home than a home where the father marries more than 1 woman because its believed that such home is built around strife and constant fights.

Really I will not say you select any one as a reason or excuse not to marry an individual.

Get to meet the person and if you guys know you are compactable and you allow God be the Head of the House then I see no reason why you guys won't be fine.

Children should not be made to suffer for the sins of their parents.

2face had many baby mamas at one time in his life.
But he chose Annie Macaulay out of all the ladies.

She is from a broken home.

They got married.

They are having a very peaceful marriage.

Even when pictures of him in a compromising situation with one of his baby mamas went viral online, she still stood by him.

I've never seen a lady as humble/loving/endearing like Annie.


Judge people based on who they are, not based on who those around them are as there are circumstances one can't control in one's life.

It could happen to you.

Even your parents can surprise you tomorrow and go their separate ways.

One love.
Cheers!

Timbuktou:
It's a risky proposition. Most children from broken homes haven't been taught how to keep a relationship or home together and make one work; and most of them never bother to learn. E no dey hard dem to divorce at the slightest marital inconvenience or check out emotionally. They are usually biased against the estranged parent and the parent's gender due to one-sided accounts from custodial parents.

Anybody intending to marry a product of a broken home would do well to ensure due diligence in determining their marriage ideals and conflict resolution beliefs and methods.

Dyt:
There's almost nothing Nigerians don't tag discrimination with
Discriminate albinos
Stammers
Dumb
Handicapped
Sickle cell
Dwarf
Single mum
I can't name them all and now this

Grow up

This is eh

The trend is so stupid and makes absolutely no sense

@op please what's your definition of a "broken home"? I just want you to remember that a polygamous family is also a broken home, and most Nigerians are from polygamous families.
So my advice is, you should forget the type of family and concentrate on the character of the person you want to marry!

If wat u just highlighted is ur definition of discrimination. Cud explain the difference btw preference and discrimination.
I see making a choice in marriage as preference not discrimination.

sonofananimal1:
then find a white chick!

When your pastor will tell you do not marry a yellow girl and yellow girls keep coming n they would love you like hell

Shymm3x:


Lol. Not taking shots. They know that is how Nigerians in diaspora are classified in everyday interaction in diaspora. Folks get along on the surface but that is where it ends - different mentality/outlook, experience, and knowledge scope.

It is not an assumption - that is the reality. Our outlook and behavioural pattern are influenced by what we were raised around. It is just basically like chics who grew up around dads who are supremely loving and successful. Subconsciously, they will always scheme for guys who are or have the same potentials, as their dads. That is what they will subconsciously be attracted to. Just like every guy out there will always be subconsciously attracted to chics who are like their mums.

Chics from broken homes are also always quick to drop that "you're just as useless as my dad" line. If that doesn't tell a story...I don't know what it represents. The truth is: as a guy you will spend most of ya time trying to prove to them that you are not anything like their dads, due to all the negativity their mums must have instilled in them. And that is pretty much hard work.

Err, you are from a broken home. You just need a guy with a lot of patience who can play the role of a dad/partner at the same time. Run as far as you can from knuckleheads like me looool. But you'd make a great mum though.

useless as my Dad? common, that's not true, seriously I feel bad seeing a negative comment about these people that have gone through a lot while growing up. Girls that have been able to keep themselves even more than those ones that grew up with their father and mother.

Shymm3x:


Now, folks who lost their dads are different cos all they will have are great/positive memories of him and they'll always lead their lives to make him proud. Even if they don't care, mums will always remind them. You can't even call that a "broken home" per se cos there won't be too much negativity there...though the father figure would still be missing. Dealing with chics from this background should be far easier than the ones from broken homes with bitter mums.

Looool. What happened to ya dad? Ijebu men are always faithful, though it seems they also like polygyny (an oxymoron but that is how they get down lool).

You've been saying Trash joor

emerged01:
I'm from a broken home. now I'm married. I can lay down everything to ensure nothing break us apart. I went through hell on earth, I will never... by God grace allow my children to go through same. I thank God for giving me a mother who also acted a father. Broken home is like a curse to the children.

that is one good thing about coming from a broken home, you don't want such to happen to you, I can tell you bro, its not a good experience.

From my own experience, I observed the following from someone from a broken home.. She had a very strong heart, highly insensitive, emotional trauma, lies alot.. A friend of mine got married to someone from similar background,.. They are living like strangers.. But there should be exceptions though