dre11:


You just raised the question that the woman was trying to pass across.....

But, she never did mention the one @embolded part

The bolded was your remix?

Which of the others are her problem (s)

mutter:


Which oath the one at the altar? Even the church calls for the submission of the woman.

When one element decides to take upon himself


Hope you don´t talk like that to the man.

Why should his shopping affect the marriage?
By the way is she not cooking the food to please the man? I just don`t understand.
Cook the man what he has brought you to cook.When the kid`s get older they will start their own and also take over command of your kitchen. Then you find yourself cooking things you don`t like eating and missing out on things you love.
My kid`s love spaghetti. My 16 year old daughter was surprised when I told her recently that I don`t really like it and just cook and eat them because of the kid`s-
SO too it is with your husband. When a good wife cooks she is eager to please the man with the food.
Would you be happy to buy and cook things then the man is not pleased with it?

My husband does all the shopping and that is okay with me now but I had to get used to it. He misses out on many things but with time he learnt what I need and sometimes I give him a list or he calls from the shop. Lately I send one of the kids along- and that makes it better.

I have to admit it is really frustrating when you want to cook and something is missing and not just there the way you want it or the brand you like.

How I do wish she will see it that way


The bolded part is one major reasons its better for the man to do the bulk purchases and leave the rest to the woman.... Because I still remember my uncles doing the bulk purchases but the petty things he will leave it to the wife so he won't be told he missed out on what he is suppose to buy

Because I do know of some men buying vegetables oils in the nylon bag and buying some essential for stew at night when their wives could have done that since she comes home earlier than the men

dre11:



Okay.......

That's one aspect I tried impressing on one that happens
But, she would always say she doesn't mind him buying the buck things home like the bulk foodstuffs eg bag of rice, beans and the rest
But, the aspect of him shopping for tomatoes and stew ingredients is what is not acceptable to her.....

Let her just forget about it and make herself happy no matter how uncomfortable she is.It is well.

bukatyne:


The bolded was your remix?

Which of the others are her problem (s)

The stingy aspect by the man, and believing that the woman doesn't have the bargain powers he possess like the woman



But he does buy something cheap and on the other hand he buys it expensive
Also, she doesn't have control over the meal and time because sometimes she would have to wait for her husband to buy the ingredients before she cooks

Just wondering because the man was the hunter and brought home the food /animal to be cooked.
Maybe this man is being really traditional

anthoniaz:

Let her just forget about it and make herself happy no matter how uncomfortable she is.It is well.

Okay.....

Dis is what i would do if in her shoe,ill get a good job,make mony,buy what i want or need,ill ignore what he buys if i dont need it,let him use it himself or it sits in d'refigerator until it gets spoilt,next time u would not buy what i dont/need,it will only make d'woman unhappy if she is a housewife,if its rice beans n'provisions no prob,but not things lyk spices and so on,my own opinion o,ayat me do!

dre11:


The stingy aspect by the man, and believing that the woman doesn't have the bargain powers he possess like the woman



But he does buy something cheap and on the other hand he buys it expensive
Also, she doesn't have control over the meal and time because sometimes she would have to wait for her husband to buy the ingredients before she cooks

That is what being submissive is all about.

You leave doing it your way. Yes it is harder and more time consuming but everything in life is not only about efficiency.

Reminds me of the story the elders tell of a young girl that was to be married and was sent to her future husbands home for observation. One day the goat escaped into the bush. Before the men could get their knives and sticks and run into the bush, the young girl ran into the bush and came out with the goat. She had slit the throat of the goat.
I don`t need to tell you how the story ended. She was sent home!

Yes she was smarter and faster than all the men but then she was too fast.

This lady has to learn to manage and cook what is in the house.
There was a day my husband came home late with the shopping. I really did not know what to cook. I boiled yam and made a stew with sardine, sliced onions, paprika and tomatoes into it. I actually wanted to "punish " him for coming late with the shopping. He really enjoyed the meal and asked me to make it more often. It reminded him of the good old days.

mutter:
Just wondering because the man was the hunter and brought home the food /animal to be cooked.
Maybe this man is being really traditional

being traditional....... but do ladies love their man to be traditional.


but the man is just trying to play by the rules of the animal kingdom

mutter:
Just wondering because the man was the hunter and brought home the food /animal to be cooked.
Maybe this man is being really traditional

being traditional....... but do ladies love their man to be traditional.


but the man is just trying to play by the rules of the animal kingdom

slimyem:
....Much ado about nothing...

...only if the woman knows how many other women wants what she has.
I would relax and enjoy it if it were me as long as it is not affecting his major duties as a husband .

I don't know why culture and morality has to come in here...

Hello. Long time

Like some people will pray Lord may I wake up and my biggest problem is which of my cars and drivers I should use today. dre11 the woman has no problem as it were what she needs is how to adjust. Culturally it may seem strange but morally there is no big deal in what the husband is doing.

estheremma:
Dis is what i would do if in her shoe,ill get a good job,make money,buy what i want or need,ill ignore what he buys if i dont need it,let him use it himself or it sits in d'refigerator until it gets spoilt,next time u would not buy what i dont/need,it will only make d'woman unhappy if she is a housewife,if its rice beans n'provisions no prob,but not things lyk spices and so on,my own opinion o,ayat me do!

Then the man will refuse to eat your food and then what...
Chain of events that lead to a break up of the marriage.

This is also the reason the woman is having this problem. If she would thank her husband for going shopping and show joy over the things he would certainly buy the few other things she requests for or give her the money to buy them.

Most men are like children. When you praise them they love it and try to please you the more. When you criticize they will go out of their way to even accelerate what they are doing to prove to you that you are wrong and that they are right.

dre11:


The stingy aspect by the man, and believing that the woman doesn't have the bargain powers he possess like the woman



But he does buy something cheap and on the other hand he buys it expensive
Also, she doesn't have control over the meal and time because sometimes she would have to wait for her husband to buy the ingredients before she cooks

mutter:


That is what being submissive is all about.

You leave doing it your way. Yes it is harder and more time consuming but everything in life is not only about efficiency.

Reminds me of the story the elders tell of a young girl that was to be married and was sent to her future husbands home for observation. One day the goat escaped into the bush. Before the men could get their knives and sticks and run into the bush, the young girl ran into the bush and came out with the goat. She had slit the throat of the goat.
I don`t need to tell you how the story ended. She was sent home!

Yes she was smarter and faster than all the men but then she was too fast.

This lady has to learn to manage and cook what is in the house.
There was a day my husband came home late with the shopping. I really did not know what to cook. I boiled yam and made a stew with sardine, sliced onions, paprika and tomatoes into it. I actually wanted to "punish " him for coming late with the shopping. He really enjoyed the meal and asked me to make it more often. It reminded him of the good old days.

Thanks for your kind response and example......

I just hope she would stop complaining and embrace the new ideology of the man and move on with their life.
Sometimes I do ask her if he was like this during courtship and she says he wasn't like that but just changed during marriage

Thanks again

LordReed:
Like some people will pray Lord may I wake up and my biggest problem is which of my cars and drivers I should use today. dre11 the woman has no problem as it were what she needs is how to adjust. Culturally it may seem strange but morally there is no big deal in what the husband is doing.

Noted sir

Am sure the lady must have being looking it from the cultural aspect because she has never being used to it

That's the best things about humans...... The ability to adjust and adapt quickly

AfricanApple:

Who sealed your mouth

dre11:


Who sealed your mouth

AfricanApple:

Morning and have a great day........

Bye

All of you saying she should ''adjust'', hmmmmm
Does the man get to change to Onga if he has been buying Knorr What if she is used to Cocoyam as a soup thickener while the man is hooked on ''Achi'' Nothing justifies his buying even spices constantly and having to decide what to to cook, biko.
If she has a job, prepare his food for him and do yours as you want it, he doesn't have to force his will down your throat .



I'm sure he prefers tinned tomatoes to fresh tomatoes and won't hear of mixing the two to please the wife

My husband does the shopping. I got so use to it that I dont like shopping for foodstuffs. Sometimes he will ask that we go together but I feel lazy doing that now. I guess he spoilt me. I just remind him of what we need in the house and the brand he should get.

Maybe you should join him in doing the shopping rather than he doing it alone. You can get the opportunity to make decisions when shopping together.

dre11:


Morning and have a great day........

Bye

tani o n demo fun?