am going to ican office to process my induction

Hilarious thread.

It happened sometimes ago when a colleague of mine took permission to attend to a family issue and it was granted only for him to get to the venue o f the interview and met our boss an a member of the interview panel. Walahi my friend did not even bothered to return.

75 guests viewing the thread ?? Ahhhhhhhhhhh!

hilaomo:
True,but I no gree...looking at the bright side,my enterprenueral mindset keeps telling me that I'm bigger than my present state of mind(company,colleague,situation e.t.c) so each time I take the risk of leaving the office(atimes without excuse),its with the mindset that a better offer awaits me on the other side...

What would you do in the scenario below?

Employee: I'd like to seek permission to absent from work tomorrow.

Boss: Why?

Employee: I have an interview with a coy.

Boss: I'm sorry! Your permission isn't granted

After series of persuasions...

Boss: If you obstinately wanna attend the interview, consider yourself as my ex-employee. Shikena!

1. Phone in and tell them you are purging and tell them u'll come to the office as soon as u ar relieved... (For ur mind u kno say u no go come back o)

2. As you father's next of kin, you had to follow ur dad to an insurance company (put the name) to sign ur own column of his (ur dad's) life assurance documents... (You can use dis particular lie any time... You can tell the ppl concerned that u'll go from office and return to the office... You also decide not to go to d office at all..). #Lol

3. Your room/flat mate collapsed as you we're both preparing for work and u had to rush him/her to the hospital and that u jux returned from the hospital... Tell them u can't leave only him/her @ home... U can also add dat his/her mother or sister is coming to stay with ur room mate 2mao so that u can come to work...

4. You want to travel ur school ( higher institution) to collect ur original degree result or transcript... With this, u can take at least two days off work...

Lies plenty ooo...

tiwasiaife:
my people is there any company in Lagos with the name.Mactay consulting no 5 prince adelowo adedeji st., off admiralty way lekki.phase 1 Lagos they sent me invitation for an interview pls confirm this for me before I fall into oluwole hands ooo.God bless u ple

Mactay is genuine.

@topic, I've been lucky. My former boss/HOD was really nice and wonderful. She was aware of all the job interviews I had while working with her. I never had any reason to lie. She was also trying to leave the company so we were hunting for jobs together and would cover up for each other whenever an interview comes up.

My current employer? Nah! How do you even want to lie? You are sick? You need a doctor's report from the approved hospitals we use. In fact, the doctor has to call beforehand. The doctors won't even agree to help you out because they don't want to lose their contracts. The only excuse is death, a sick spouse, child or relative. In that case, you'd be advised to drop him/her at the approved hospital and come back to work.

But if I need to 'stab' work, I give no excuse. I simply disappear. Then call and complain of family problems, come back to face the consequences. I don't know how to tell a lie face-to-face.

Best excuse

If u have in one way or the other lost any of ur family member before u started working don't let ur employer know about it. It cud be of help on the day of interview in another firm.

Day1 : Your late father is very sick

Day2 : They need ur presence

Day3: If u are sure of the job, u can tell them ur late father is dead.

Done this before and it worked.

Abeg no use person wey dey alive dey lie o, our tongue is powerful.

Hahahahahaha.... Chai... See lies. Well I still lied last 2 wks. Got an interview msg a day to d day. D morning of d interview, I just phoned my boss that I was seriously ill and was on my way to hospital for checkup. Ensured I didnt change my dp and pm on bbm cos some colleagues were dea. Some even pinged me. Lol. Only those close to me knew I went for interview.

In my office, once you tell them you're sick, they jump to conclusion that you're lying so the next thing they'll tell you is that you should come with a Dr's report. When it got to my turn to cook up something for my boss, all I did was act like I was recieving a call from my cousin in the state. Hey bro, are you serious? Coming tonight? When is your ETA? I'll be at the airport to pick you up after work. I made sure my boss was there. The next thing I did the following day was get someone to call him up that police detained myself and my cousin on our way from the airport last night, that I won't be able to make it to the office that very day just because they've not perfected the bail. I called him after the interview telling to explain to him myself and he was like, sorry your friend told me what happened, don't mind them jawe just take your time and relax. He ended up giving me extra day to rest which I spent with a side chick.

Lol, funny thread ! I'm enjoying it so much ...

U dnt need to give any notice......wat u need is to text ur boss early morning that u r sick or your bro or sister or ur parent die don't tell him ur grandma or grandpa die oo cos else he wudnt take u serious.

XtraSmooth404:
Hello guys, I’ve been thinking about this lately. After the usual excitement that comes with getting a particular job, there comes this more enticing offer that you can’t just resist; better pay, juicy allowance/benefits, free lunch, etc and guess what? You’ve just been invited for an interview!


What this implies is that you will likely miss work for a day or two especially if you have to travel inter-state. Considering the fact that our current economic climate isn’t so cool that one should take unnecessary risks, what are these harmless but effective “lie lifelines” one can tell his/her Boss to avoid raising some eyebrows?

I was to attend an interview with an oil company and my current job has been taken all my time with a meagre pay,my boss acts like an angel from the pit of hell and their's no way. She will allow me a day off work no matter what the excuse might be. I was able to make this interview by following this simple steps... (1) I bought a tin of milk and an egg (2) I took my egg and milk to the office and when I'm sure that my boss is about coming in I poured the egg and milk into a cup and drank it,I had some quantity reserved in my mouth and immediately my boss walked in I splashed the remaining milk and egg content inside my mouth to the floor. My boss was shocked and she asked what is wrong with me and I told her that I've been vomiting since the past few days with a very high fever,I told her that I've been suspecting myself of having Ebola with all this symptoms. My boss took a few steps backward and immediately ordered me to vacate the office premises until I am able to come back with ebola clearance certificate. Hehehehhehehehehe... That was how I was able to attend up to three interview within the pace of two weeks and I returned to my old job after a month.

The most funny I ever had was after attending all stages of interview with a multinational.the final interview date was 24th Dec 20144

To make matters worse I was the one on key in the bank branch I work for that week.I had to open the door even if I would disappear.But how do I disappear after opening the door because I knew my boss would compel I work and the visit the hospital later in the day even if I formed sick wch that will mean missing the interview.

What I did? OPened the door early enough that nobody men me.then I disappeared with a msg to my boss that I had gone back to the hospital that I had only come to open the door from my hospital bed.

After the interview,I had to decorate my hand with plaster and claimed I had just finished receiving drips.

To cut d story...short.i got d job.. .to God be all the glory

You are just a clown

FriedPlantain:
I was also in a similar fix just last month, I had to go for an interview without giving any prior notice whatsoever. That my boss na evil woman, she no go gree. Well, I resumed at the office two days later and had to tell my boss something, told her my babe grandfather uncle's wife just died and as a potential son-in-law, I volunteered to help drive the guest that came for the burial around town. Needless to say, before close of business that same day, I had over 20 queries waiting for me on my desk.

FriedPlantain

I begin to feign sickness few days before den, it wrks like fire in my organisation yes dats d only tin dat wrks.

phetty:


Lools... He no fit trace me lai lai....I don wear condom...So I play safe because "Safety first, safety always!!!"

If i mention your real name now nko?

I found myself in such situation some years back when I worked with an insurance coy . here in Lag. I had a test with Schlumberger in PH. I had to lie that I was ill, did a night bus trip(wouldn't try that again), did the interview. Headed back to Lag(i missed work for 2 days), one tatafo in my office, walked up to me, showed me a list of names published in Guardian newspaper for the schlumberger test with my name on the list. Told me that she reported me to the Human resources mgr and my attention was needed. Of course I still maintained my illness lie o. The mgr now insisted that I bring a sick report first thing in the morning the next day. As soon as I stepped out of her office, I called my doctor friend to prepare one for me. That's how I got out of the gbege.

mekybabe1:
I found myself in such situation some years back when I worked with an insurance coy . here in Lag. I had a test with Schlumberger in PH. I had to lie that I was ill, did a night bus trip(wouldn't try that again), did the interview. Headed back to Lag(i missed work for 2 days), one tatafo in my office, walked up to me, showed me a list of names published in Guardian newspaper for the schlumberger test with my name on the list. Told me that she reported me to the Human resources mgr and my attention was needed. Of course I still maintained my illness lie o. The mgr now insisted that I bring a sick report first thing in the morning the next day. As soon as I stepped out of her office, I called my doctor friend to prepare one for me. That's how I got out of the gbege.

hahahahahahaahaha.... D tatafo dey madt. If na me ehn I go frustrate am Comot for work

XtraSmooth404:

Share with us na

It involved a small home accident; "the end justifies the means" they say. I got the job though.

OkunrinMeta:

If i mention your real name now nko?

Really

I dey learn

I had few days interview with oil n gas coy in lag. At the time I was in calabar working in a hotel. I had to flare up with my colleague at work over very minor issue......slapped her, and knowing the consequence I was given one week suspension without pay. I had to even apply for one more week suspension which I was denied. I stubbornly took two weeks off and when I returned I was given additional one week suspension for taking more time off. I gladly used it for the job training that was slated about the same time

25 guests viewing hope we are safe plssssss

mekybabe1:
I found myself in such situation some years back when I worked with an insurance coy . here in Lag. I had a test with Schlumberger in PH. I had to lie that I was ill, did a night bus trip(wouldn't try that again), did the interview. Headed back to Lag(i missed work for 2 days), one tatafo in my office, walked up to me, showed me a list of names published in Guardian newspaper for the schlumberger test with my name on the list. Told me that she reported me to the Human resources mgr and my attention was needed. Of course I still maintained my illness lie o. The mgr now insisted that I bring a sick report first thing in the morning the next day. As soon as I stepped out of her office, I called my doctor friend to prepare one for me. That's how I got out of the gbege.

hmmm.. this is what MI calls bad belle. She couldn't even hide her hatred

Well I was in the same dilemma too.... Marine Platform invited me for an interview, and I was currently working for a Maritime company in PH as their Technical and ops officer... And Marine Platform company has juicy packages which I couldn't resisted and since it's a new company they won a lot of contract s with top IOCs in Nigeria .... I didnt think twice ooo I went to the chemist and bought bandage and one ointment for bones... I tied the bandage firmly on hand and rubbed the ointment too... And since the bandage was firmly tied, the circulation of blood on my hand reduced thereby making the place to swell up.... When I arrived office the next day everyone was feeling sorry for me, and my innocent looks also did the trick for me

The HSE Manager had to inform the HR Manager to give me one week to go treat myself well

The Goodnews is I was employed in the new company.. sadly I resigned with the former (Though I felt bad sha)

PS: Lies is not good sha... But sometimes you have to do it

sir, I lost my period. May I take some days to find it?

Lol! The girl resemble Mary Slessor o. Very dry babe.

olu4life:

hahahahahahaahaha.... D tatafo dey madt. If na me ehn I go frustrate am Comot for work

I worked in a small audit firm where the pay is nothing to write home about. I knew I had applied for jobs and invite were rolling in. My boss would not allow me because I had lied about my dad being ill and he is always suspicious about every thing you say to him(he trust no one and sacred of loosing employees-how many person go collect that kind of salary)
I knew I had to do something. Monday being the first day of work, a msg came in inviting me for an interview the following day. I left without informing him. I went to work the following day. I was giving two weeks suspension without pay. I happy die. It paid off.