All cool & nice.

Hmm...I think I should share my experience.


********************Modification*********************

I really appreciate your sincerity on this matter.

I have been with a couple of women that belong in this category and i must say your points are 100% correct.

However, i will like to lend a masculine perspective to two of the points you've highlighted. Essentially, these are things you have stated in your other thread:

1. Many women in this category are hardly able to give their all:
They usually have a lot of baggage from past (failed) relationships which consequently makes them keep a lot of 'friends' - the guy she dated in final year, the one with whom she once did introduction, some dude that proposed marriage whom she turned down because she was in a relationship she believed would end in marriage (and later did not...and now she's hoping the guy would propose again), the ones that trilled her the most in bed...
It takes a awful lot for them to not keep 'options/reserves'

This lack of focus (many even see it as unfaithfulness), i must say almost always adversely affect their relationships.
Very few serious men (if any at all) will tie the knot with this kind of woman.

2. Undue/Unfair Pressure:
You are a 30-year old Nigerian female and there's much pressure on you from society to get married. Remember, your 31 - 35 year old boyfriend is under much less pressure and will want to do all the knowing he needs before proposing to you.
A few weeks down the line, you're beginning to re-evaluate your other options, thinking your time is being wasted.
Now, i think that is unfair on the man. It is almost like the man is expected to not think before getting married to you.

The guy needs to take his time! Simple!
Maturity in age does not guarantee a good marriage. Hence, regardless of age, you both need to properly consider what you're getting into.

I understand the lady does not have time to waste so i will suggest she properly and prayerfully considers the guy before accepting to date him in the first place.
You need to be sure it is a relationship you can invest time in. That's the only way to not waste time and also take your time

I have seen cases where the lady breaks up with her guy and in a matter of weeks, takes one of the other 'benchers' to her parents as the 'new' guy...and what results from the 'new' relationship? Your guess is as good as mine...(I'm talking about ladies in their 30s here)

Summarily, in a bid to save time, ladies in this age category end up wasting more time. The guy soon begins to think he is been pressured into marriage and starts getting a lot of crazy ideas.

These two points are in my own opinion/experience the most pertinent.

Nawa o, females get expiry date

Nairalanders pls help me out am in kuv with a lady that is ageing me with five years and I realy love her with the whole of my heart and she does to.

I am highly impressed by this piece.

#TEAMUNDER30!...
How do I date a lady whose sole reason for dating me is Marriage-----for 6 whole months??
I am sure 99.9percent of men who hears this from a lady will call it desperation.
No man loves a 'desperate' fiance. Marriage will come when I am convinced, she's worth it, but if from the start its obvious she is in for just marriage (meaning she can con her way through the 'dating phase' of 6 months) she will keep getting hurt by men who don't want to marry out of pity.
If you are above 30, be your you, love for loving (not for marriage) and if the man is convinced your love is worth making it permanent with you he will put a ring on it.

All in all, this is a nice post from someone who is trying to express her views openly. #thumbsup

Woged2005:


This was my major problem too. People around called me picky but I was not. I just moved on when I found out that man was only wasting my time and trying to cash in on my age. When you meet a serious man it doesn't take forever. Things happen very fast. Two matured minds know what they want. once they meet each other they click. Even when the man doesn't have everything going, you can pool resources together to get things going. He must pay the bride price (with no assistance. It's tradition). But since you are working you can assist with wedding plans and settling down (aka housing, rent, furniture, etc)

Let's continue this tradition talk.

It is also tradition that a man can marry more than one wife. Today most women won't accept that, but would like to continue the bride price thing. Isn't that hypocritical? You talk about dealing about the identity crisis. I think this is a good place to start. Should we keep our original tradition or scrap everything OR amend it. Who dictates what to keep and what to discard?

SEX IS THE MAIN THIN.WHEN A LADY IS FUCKIN BORIN IN BED, THIS IS DISASTER TO ME.I DONT CARE U 30 OR 20, JUST HANDLE ME WELL IN BED, DEN THE SKY IS UR LIMIT.SEX IS HEALTY...then u can save the rest....

A complete and utter hogwash that was clearly written with a women's movement point of view.

Couldn't even finish reading the crap.

Note to Nigerian Men, they're coming, be ready.

Joavid:





5 times a day was an exaggeration i suppose?


Stiff bones you say? Lol.she's in her 30's not 50's

I wonder o

Get up to #5000 discounts and Swift Delivery when you order items on Jumia.com[Pay on Delivery]...To place your orders Call or Whatsapp (08122204769)or e-mail me via (Eonuegbu1@gmail.com).

Hmm ...

sexyseun:
THANK GOD AM STILL IN MY TWENTIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

With this your pelenge body, twenties

Joavid:





5 times a day was an exaggeration i suppose?


Stiff bones you say? Lol.she's in her 30's not 50's

Thank you o! Ever since I turned 30, I feel younger and sexier than ever! My boobs are even rounder and fuller than they were in my early 20s.

Stiff ko, strict ni.

Sweetlemon:


Thank you o! Ever since I turned 30, I feel younger and sexier than ever! My boobs are even rounder and fuller than they were in my early 20s.

Stiff ko, strict ni.

wow... Now I see where you got sweetlemon from.

op are u above thirty and a desperado

Very mature

well noted.

Woged2005:


This was my major problem too. People around called me picky but I was not. I just moved on when I found out that man was only wasting my time and trying to cash in on my age. When you meet a serious man it doesn't take forever. Things happen very fast. Two matured minds know what they want. once they meet each other they click. Even when the man doesn't have everything going, you can pool resources together to get things going. He must pay the bride price (with no assistance. It's tradition). But since you are working you can assist with wedding plans and settling down (aka housing, rent, furniture, etc)

I admire your sense of reasoning and maturity

@op With all of these. the question is, does she love the guy?

A guy can do all these and the lady will keep leading him on for want of a better alternative and still not truly love him.

Watin u d̶̲̥̅̊є̲̣̥γ̥ talk abeg?

searching4love:
:-/

WHO CARES I PREFER ALL NIGERIAN GIRLS REMAIN SINGLE. THEY ARE THIEVES LOOKING FOR THE NEXT PREY TO DEVOUR. THEY SCAM MEN IN THE NAME OF LOVE AND MOVE ON TO THE NEXT GUY WHEN YOU PRETEND TO BE BROKE. THEY'RE NOT LOYAL. TRUE LOVE AND PERSEVERANCE IS NOT IN THEIR DICTIONARY. ALL THEY KNOW IS TO GO ON A DATE WITH A NEW CATCH AND ORDER WHAT THIER FATHER CANT BUY THEM AT HOME. THEY EAT WITH GREED AND GROW BELLIES LIKE GLUTTON. VALENTINES DAY IS APPROACHING, IF YOU DOUBT ALL I'M SAYING VISIT A NEARBY EATRY AND SEE THEM FILL THIER TABLES WITH FOODS AND DRINKS THEY CAN'T AFFORD COURTESY OF A NEW MAGA SITTING IN HER FRONT. THIEVES

Hey Mr know-it-all! Not all Nigerian woman are as useless and jobless as you think,many of us have J.O.B.S ok,good business,so dude don't generalise

sexyseun:
THANK GOD AM STILL IN MY TWENTIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You will be 30 Soon. So plan well now and be well guided.

Stillfire:


Let's continue this tradition talk.

It is also tradition that a man can marry more than one wife. Today most women won't accept that, but would like to continue the bride price thing. Isn't that hypocritical? You talk about dealing about the identity crisis. I think this is a good place to start. Should we keep our original tradition or scrap everything OR amend it. Who dictates what to keep and what to discard?

I got your point....but i still think it is more dignifying and honourable for the man to fix the bride price without involving his bride.if she wants to help,she can come in on other things.

searching4love:
:-/

WHO CARES I PREFER ALL NIGERIAN GIRLS REMAIN SINGLE. THEY ARE THIEVES LOOKING FOR THE NEXT PREY TO DEVOUR. THEY SCAM MEN IN THE NAME OF LOVE AND MOVE ON TO THE NEXT GUY WHEN YOU PRETEND TO BE BROKE. THEY'RE NOT LOYAL. TRUE LOVE AND PERSEVERANCE IS NOT IN THEIR DICTIONARY. ALL THEY KNOW IS TO GO ON A DATE WITH A NEW CATCH AND ORDER WHAT THIER FATHER CANT BUY THEM AT HOME. THEY EAT WITH GREED AND GROW BELLIES LIKE GLUTTON. VALENTINES DAY IS APPROACHING, IF YOU DOUBT ALL I'M SAYING VISIT A NEARBY EATRY AND SEE THEM FILL THIER TABLES WITH FOODS AND DRINKS THEY CAN'T AFFORD COURTESY OF A NEW MAGA SITTING IN HER FRONT. THIEVES

NA WHO BREAK YOUR HEART TO PIECES ? I PRAY YOUR HEART HEALS FAST.

njays24:
Hey Mr know-it-all! Not all Nigerian woman are as useless and jobless as you think,many of us have J.O.B.S ok,good business,so dude don't generalise

Why is guilt eating u up? i mention your name?

Spare me that Job crap. many of you see relationships as source of income hence you have 5-10 guys servicing your rotten alum protected over wide pusssy's the end game is to drill money out of the numerous guys whether you have jobs or not. Mtcheew

This is a very dangerous orientation mar. I strongly advise U to change it

SINGLE THEM ALL

I pity ladies who allow themselves to be used and dumped.

@op, I enjoyed your write up so much; u raised interesting points, but that portion where u said that the only mission a lady above 30-years enter into a relationship with a guy is marriage, is the part that scare men away.

No sane-thinking man wants to be pressured into marriage. No single guy in his right mind and senses want to be with a desperate lady whose mission is just to marry! It scares...it makes the guy think of so many negative things about the lady's past.

So ladies, pls don't act as if u are desperate for marriage when u are above 30yrs...be cool and have fun...making it seem like all u want from a man is marriage will scare so many reasonable men away! You can ask any man.

The major reason for high divorce rate and increase in single ladies in Nigeria is MONEY!

Money in the sense that high unemployment has reduced the number of eligible bachelors in Nigeria thereby creating scarcity of men ready to settle down just as the op pointed out.

Money in the sense that Nigerian ladies over the years started misunderstanding what men desire in a woman they would love to marry.

Many Nigerian ladies of our time thought that what men are looking for in a woman they would love to settle with is for the lady to be working and earning big money....and that once they are able to secure a good-paying job as single ladies, that all men will be after them to marry them; but they got it all wrong because in their effort to become financially independent or independent ladies like they call themselves, most forgot to develop their inner beauty (character, humility, good manner, physical attraction and home keeping skills) which happens to be the first thing majority of men look for in a woman they want to settle with....

Now, when men end up marrying these so-called financially independent ladies who think that all men need from a woman is for her to have a fat-paying career, the men get to discover that these ladies lack respect, lack humility, lack manner, can't keep home, can't take care of kids...only running to work from monday - saturday thinking that that's enough to be a good wife...hence, the conflict of who is the head and before u know it, marriage crashes like plane!

All what we guys are asking for from ladies are:

- look beautiful & attractive
- keep your body fit
- be humble
- respect us as nature/God demands
- keep the home in order
- take care of the kids
- spend wisely and let's live in peace, it is that simple!

Only foolish men run after ladies' money!

But unfortunately, most Nigerian ladies above 30years become desperate for marriage...they begin to ignore their physical beauty and start acting religiously weird which scare single guys away.

Don't get me wrong; its good to be God-fearing, but don't be a religious psycho just because u want to marry at all cost!

Stop that crap of No sex till marriage if u are a single lady above 30 years & not a virgin. If u are a virgin, that's fine...but if u aren't a virgin...just stop it! As much as it sounds immoral, that's life for u- not up to 1% of guys will take that excuse from u if u aren't a virgin.

Stop acting like his mother! You're 30yrs and not 50yrs for C'sake!!!

Even though u are above 30, u can still exhibit 20something qualities that attract most men!

Stop feeling like men should worship u because u are 30something & have a good job because most reasonable well-to-do single guys don't give a damn about how much u earn or where u work; guys aren't ladies that get moved by financial success of a guy...what move guys are ur physical beauty, intelligence, humility and character, not your money or car or job or whatever u feel u have.