Dimples192:


It should be hard hun. Won't we reading the same stories on this thread from women who's Prince charming turned into Lucifer? Your father in his own way is trying to save you from that. In his own special way he is protecting you. This is your time to shine hun. It sounds like you turn into a lil girl when you speak to him about this for example walking out when he said no. You need to open lines of communications on this topic. Take your dad out to dinner and have a father and daughter day and really speak from your heart. Take him out of his comfort zone. Have you met hubbys family? Your dad needs reassurance for your wellbeing. It's not about the tribe for him alone it's more about your safety.

Hmmm I will do as you have said. Thanks.
((((Hugs)))

Herzumpther:
Yes I've met them and they don't have a problem with me at all. If all works well I will be the second deltan that will be going into their family. He has just one sister and we are very good too. His mum calls me from her base once in a while. The last time she called was on Tuesday when I went out with lakes and she was just all about a wedding gown she saw and will like me to use for my wedding... OK now I'm smiling here. they treat me like them already and lakes has refuse to tell his parent and sister what's going on because he believes we will scale through all this.

Wow
Please he shouldn't tell them,that is a wise move
So happy his own end is cool
Who wouldn't like you though
Beautiful inside and out and a great cook too
[s]Remember I told you that if not that my brother was a womanizer I would have tried to hook you two up [/s]

babyosisi:


I live in America and wouldn't want my child to marry an American but a Nigerian
What is wrong in that?
I should also move?

Your position is a lil bit understandable. What I don't get is people from the same country. Ain't we all Nigerians..

johnjon:


Your position is a lil bit understandable. What I don't get is people from the same country. Ain't we all Nigerians..

Maybe you should start a thread on that and I will speak further on how that can happen
I don't want to derail this one

Herzumpther:
Hmmm I will do as you have said. Thanks.
((((Hugs)))

I am emotionally invested in this so I await my
e-invite to this wedding! Mama Africa here I come
Best of luck sis

babyosisi:


Wow
Please he shouldn't tell them,that is a wise move
So happy his own end is cool
Wo wouldn't like you though
Beautiful inside and out
[s]Remember I told you that if not that my brother was a womanizer I would have tried to hook you two up [/s]

Lol.

Dimples192:



I am emotionally invested in this so I await my
e-invite to this wedding! Mama Africa here I come
Best of luck sis

Lol. Thank you and I must sure invite u.

urchbarbie:
Now, u just stop right dere. Dont start with calling someones dad names. He is only protecting his dota. Wat does living in d west av to do with dis issue? Na yoruba man born d pickin for am? Be mindful of wat u say dear

Well, she is the one that said her dad is a tribalist. So maybe you should actually tell her to be mindful of what she post online.

babyosisi:


Maybe you should start a thread on that and I will speak further on how that can happen
I don't want to derail this one

Okay Aunty.

Bros calm down!


@herzumpther... I can imagine what you are going through right now. I am not good with words at a time like this. I don't know how to encourage you. But I will surely remember you In my prayers.... "May God's will be done in this issue."


e-hugs.

johnjon:


I don't get this. So your dad doesn't want you to marry a yoruba guy but he lives in a yoruba state. In short he is a tribalist and we don't need people like him in our land. If he hates yoruba people that much, he should move back to his village. Shikena

johnjon:


Well, she is the one that said her dad is a tribalist. So maybe you should actually tell her to be mindful of what she post online.

Noted.
Thank you.

LaRoyalHighness:
Bros calm down!


@herzumpther... I can imagine what you are going through right now. I am not good with words at a time like this. I don't know how to encourage you. But I will surely remember you In my prayers.... "May God's will be done in this issue."


e-hugs.

Amen. Thank you ma'am.

urchbarbie:
Now, u just stop right dere. Dont start with calling someones dad names. He is only protecting his dota. Wat does living in d west av to do with dis issue? Na yoruba man born d pickin for am? Be mindful of wat u say dear

My dear its OK. You see I didn't reply that mention, he said I called my dad a tribalist......who knows if I mistakenly did so just forget biko.

Hope you've posted in the kitchen thread today? I'm not even hungry sef.

bukatyne:


I mean my SIL

We are not all the same

Everyone run their home as they deem fit.

Who says some things are not meant to be seen

Agreed, we all run our homes how we deem fit.
However most people have an irrational/emotional need to judge others. Although we shouldn't live our lives for others, wisdom is still required in order not to present our marriages in a manner for people to constantly judge us.

Constant judgement puts unnecessary pressure on marriages.
Celebrity and reality tv marriages suffer from this the most.
Even people with far worse marriages still judge.

It's possible that you will even end up judging your DIL because of the same rights you are fighting for today.

Herz, just take it one day @ a time oh, all must be well at the end, believe in God, in your self and the love that you both share....this here ish, shd make ur love for each other grow stronger that's the essence of this phase, okay... if your gut feelings tells you he is the one, then he is... just hold on, oga di mma, oh, nwa oma.

flowers4me:


Ha ha ha ha chai ! nwanyi aa i ga egbu mmadu ooo
For real, you have to consider starting a comedy show you'll make loads of money i tell ya..

Herz, just take it one day @ a time oh, all must be well at the end, believe in God, in your self and the love that you both share....this here ish, shd make ur love for each other grow stronger that's the essence of this phase, okay... if your gut feelings tells you he is the one, then he is... just hold on, oga di mma, oh, nwa oma.

Big Anty anyi, Babyosisi thanks a bunch! for this lovely thread.

Thanks so much.

It hurt me to see ppl so 'insultive'
my dear. I no cook today o. Just had toast n malt. Toast garnished with irish potatoes,fresh pepper n sardine. I shld av put it up. Ild cook by weeknd surely

Herzumpther:
My dear its OK. You see I didn't reply that mention, he said I called my dad a tribalist......who knows if I mistakenly did so just forget biko.

Hope you've posted in the kitchen thread today? I'm not even hungry sef.

urchbarbie:
It hurt me to see ppl so 'insultive'
my dear. I no cook today o. Just had toast n malt. Toast garnished with irish potatoes,fresh pepper n sardine. I shld av put it up. Ild cook by weeknd surely

I don't have strength for e-wars so I avoid it with all I've got. Just let it pass. People drop their opinion on threads and leave and that's their opinion so no wahala . I cooked o, I was asked to cook scent leaf soup and I mistakenly poured it away on my way back from where I went to grind it so I quickly made veg soup. no be my fault o. I posted the pic in the kitchen already, you go fear black veg soup my cam sha.

Herzumpther, don't worry ehn, it shall be well. Just keep praying and hoping for the best, I'm sure daddy will eventually come around.

Don't cry o.

delightful1:
Herzumpther, don't worry ehn, it shall be well. Just keep praying and hoping for the best, I'm sure daddy will eventually come around.

Don't cry o.

okey ma, I won't cry again today. I'm already having headache.

urchbarbie:
Chai. Nne. Been secretly waiting n hoping to hear d best of news from d sunday ish. Herz! Its high time u let lekan go. As Babyosisi said once, dere is no 1 particular man for u. Just hapu d tots of lekan, am sure someday uld look back n smile

It is not really that easy oo.
Herz dearie,it is well. I see you winning this.

Good morning house,I need enlightenment on this.
I want to know if it is possible for a wife to obey the husband in all things and at all times?
Should a wife obey her husband's opinion(s) on issues even when she is not comfortable with them?
Can't she decide to do otherwise if she is so right about her opinion and knows that it will yield a better result than that of the huband's?

@Herz

if your dad's exact words were "that man" then the main issue is that he hasn't formed an Idea about Lakes and so he has placed him in a standard template hence the "you can't marry a yoruba man". Somehow somehow, your dad has to begin to see him as lakes and not "that man". As long as he remains "that man", your dad is mentally and emotionally keeping him at a distance.

If he had said "you can't marry Lakes" then it would be that he has measured him and he came up short, but as it stands, what's happening here is that he has chosen to measure one hundred times and cut once (after double checking the measurements again). It seems your mum and your uncle think there's a possibility he could change his mind on this issue, I'm inclined to share their belief.

You somehow need to get your dad to recognize him as lakes and not "that man". That will be an important step.

netotse:
@Herz

if your dad's exact words were "that man" then the main issue is that he hasn't formed an Idea about Lakes and so he has placed him in a standard template hence the "you can't marry a yoruba man". Somehow somehow, your dad has to begin to see him as lakes and not "that man". As long as he remains "that man", your dad is mentally and emotionally keeping him at a distance.

If he had said "you can't marry Lakes" then it would be that he has measured him and he came up short, but as it stands, what's happening here is that he has chosen to measure one hundred times and cut once (after double checking the measurements again). It seems your mum and your uncle think there's a possibility he could change his mind on this issue, I'm inclined to share their belief.

You somehow need to get your dad to recognize him as lakes and not "that man". That will be an important step.

Thank you so much, I will do just that. Although I had a chat with him in the middle of the night, it went well at least to an extent so I'm really hoping he will change his mind soon.

prissyluv:

It is not really that easy oo.
Herz dearie,it is well. I see you winning this.

Thanks jawe. I'm sure winning this.

Good morning.

Herzumpther:
Thanks jawe. I'm sure winning this.

Good morning.

Good morning dear,that's the spirit.

Herzumpther my love, from day one I started reading this story. I have never been more positive that this is a small matter for God to handle. You have uncle and your mother on your side. It would have been worst if none of them were with you. Daddy is just acting like a daddy protecting his daughter but you have to let him know that this is a life long decision. And that you only will bear the consequences and that he should trust you with this.

This young man sounds good to me and he should be given a chance. Don't let anyone make you loose a good man because of tribe. The tribe can't make up for the pains of bad marriage, so choose wisely. Have seen spouses that chose their partner based on what mum or dad wanted and they have paid dearly for it. Daddy won't come and live with you when the man is maltreating you. The highest daddy might say my daughter please pray for him cos marriage is hard. You don't want to end up like that.

Finally don't forget to seek the face of God in every matter. Take time out to pray and fast about it. Wake up at night and call on God to soften daddy's heart. Before you know he will wake up one day and say Herz tell Lakes to bring his people.

I will be very offended if I don't get an invite and asoebi for this wedding. Am watching you. Don't worry it will end in praise and God will take all the glory. I will put you in my prayers. You can pm me. Stop crying and start praying. Love you my girl.

goodheart4God:
Herzumpther my love, from day one I started reading this story. I have never been more positive that this is a small matter for God to handle. You have uncle and your mother on your side. It would have been worst if none of them were with you. Daddy is just acting like a daddy protecting his daughter but you have to let him know that this is a life long decision. And that you only will bear the consequences and that he should trust you with this.

This young man sounds good to me and he should be given a chance. Don't let anyone make you loose a good man because of tribe. The tribe can't make up for the pains of bad marriage, so choose wisely. Have seen spouses that chose their partner based on what mum or dad wanted and they have paid dearly for it. Daddy won't come and live with you when the man is maltreating you. The highest daddy might say my daughter please pray for him cos marriage is hard. You don't want to end up like that.

Finally don't forget to seek the face of God in every matter. Take time out to pray and fast about it. Wake up at night and call on God to soften daddy's heart. Before you know he will wake up one day and say Herz tell Lakes to bring his people.

I will be very offended if I don't get an invite and asoebi for this wedding. Am watching you. Don't worry it will end in praise and God will take all the glory. I will put you in my prayers. You can pm me. Stop crying and start praying. Love you my girl.

And you are going to make me cry again. I use to think I'm a strong woman but I just realized I'm not as strong I as tot. The tot of all this makes my heart very heavy that I can't even find tears anymore. I will just send you a PM. Thanks a lot, God bless and I love you too.

Herzumpther:
And you are going to make me cry again. I use to think I'm a strong woman but I just realized I'm not as strong I as tot. The tot of all this makes my heart very heavy that I can't even find tears anymore. I will just send you a PM. Thanks a lot, God bless and I love you too.

My love I used to think am strong too, but when issues that has to do with the heart crops up. All the strength might just fly out of the window. But at this stage it is God that strengthens you in times like this.

The world is filled with so many cheating and bad marriages. It is good to end up with one spouse that you are convinced won't make you cry and if he must make you cry. It must be for all the good reasons and tears of joy. I still insist and am very convinced it will end in praise. Let's take it to God.

goodheart4God:

My love I used to think am strong too, but when issues that has to do with the heart crops up. All the strength might just fly out of the window. But at this stage it is God that strengthens you in times like this.

The world is filled with so many cheating and bad marriages. It is good to end up with one spouse that you are convinced won't make you cry and if he must make you cry. It must be for all the good reasons and tears of joy. I still insist and am very convinced it will end in praise. Let's take it to God.

OK dear. Thank you lots.

prissyluv:
Good morning house,I need enlightenment on this.
I want to know if it is possible for a wife to obey the husband in all things and at all times?
Should a wife obey her husband's opinion(s) on issues even when she is not comfortable with them?
Can't she decide to do otherwise if she is so right about her opinion and knows that it will yield a better result than that of the huband's?

Be more specific dear, an example will help
Things that will cause you or the family harm are a no brainer

Herzumpther:
OK dear. Thank you lots.

You are always welcome