by krystaball:

An experience I cannot forget is back in secondary
school. I was in boarding. SS 1 precisely...In my
school..my principal do tell teachers to flog us 200
strokes of the cane..it might sound unbeliveable but its d
truth. Nairalanders that finished from d boarding school
close to ajah/langbasa Lagos some years back would bear
me witness.( wont mention but those who finished and
happen to read dis story will know)
There used to be one guy. He is a student too. I cant
remember his name now..He was very good technically.
God really blessed him with dat gift.. He could make
stove, iron, torch light etc using clay sand ..Although they
are not as perfect like all dis ones we have around in the
market..So we were like 10 frnds then that we walk as a
group. Secondary school clique things. Na so we approach
dis guy o mk e help us do stove...he made d stove and gave
us..We contributed and paid him some money for his
service..Meanwhile, there was a daystudent we do give
money and beg to help us bring raw rice so he would
sneak it and we would give him something..So there is an
uncompleted place we do keep dis stove in school and dats
where we cook..we only bring the cooked rice to hostel
and eat after light out. We use sardine, geisha and
grinded pepper to make the sauce for the rice. That has
always been how we run things...Other students were
getting lean but in our own case, we were getting fat due
to the extra food we cook ourselves.
So one day..Another guy in our class..he is not in our
clique anyway but he begged us that we should borrow
him d stove..how he even got to know we had stove..only
God knows..But as per padi things now..we borrowed him
the stove and told him to be very careful with it. His
name is Emeka (Not real name). Emeka used dis stove and
instead of him to keep it somwhere else or even give us
back...he kept it in his locker and locked it up there
before going to class the following day..After
school...dat was how the house master told the senior
prefect there would be hostel inspection..Hostel
inspection happens once in a while like dat...This is how
dey do it. They check everybodys locker for contraband
stuffs e.g geisha, sardine, noodles and all dat..But no one
is allowed to enter the hostel in btw after class and
commencement of hostel inspection..The teachers would
be at the entrance while some will be at the locker..so
dem go come call you for outside once it gets to your
locker. As dem say inspection dey like dis...our mind first
cut...we were not ourselves...dey were searching and
inspecting locker from room to room until t got 2 Emekas
locker...Emeka knowing fully wat he had in the locker was
no where to be found..dat was how dis teachers went to
get a hoe and a big stone to break the padlock and GBAM
locker threw open with a local stove staring at dem on the
face..They ordered all the school prefect to go and get
Emeka either alive or dead..They found Emeka oo..Wen
dey drilled him with many questions and some strokes of
cane..He mentioned bayo's name (Not real name)...Bayo
mentioned my name..I purposely dont want to put there
names cos they mite find dis thread and am not sure if
dey would like there real names mentioned or not.
One mind was telling me to mention other peoples name
that day. Shey na we go come be sacrificial lamb when na
all of us dey involved. Another mind was saying I should
not so I felt let me still maintain small..and follow the
latter. The teachers flogged us 18 strokes round on the
hand and told us to go and kneel down at the admin office
area..We just dey pray make dem free us and make
principal no hear...we knelt down from like around 3.30pm
till 7pm...by 7pm, dey rang bell for emergency
assembly..dat was when we knew principal had come back
and he must have been briefed about our case..he was
not on school since afternoon..Na so all student gather 4
assembly ground o..we were now kneeling down at
assembly ground..principal, all students and teachers were
all there..My principal is someone who can address
student during assembly for 2hours talking so many
things we were not even interested in back then because
we were still much younger so long talk do bore us..Most
of his speech then was about discipline and
Hardwork..Your parents have worked hard as a student
thats why they are where they are now bla bla bla....Even
PTA meeting with parents, he would spend hours talking
before they release us on visiting days to see our parents.
He talked dat night for two hours so we were thinking he
woud jst free us after the long talk afterall they already
gave us 18 strokes..LO and behold he told dem to go and
bring a double bunk from the hostel towards the end of
his speech..Na dre we com know say we cannot escape
another round of cane again dis night..when he
finished..the principal now called 3 teachers and said e ba
mi fun won ni 180 (help me give dem 180 strokes of
cane)...as if say na money...he told d teachers that we
would lie facing down on d bunk and hold d bunk handle. if
we remove our hand from the bunk handle..you start
again..Whether this na discipline or wickedness, i no
understand.It ws not a funny experience dat day...My
mind just dey wonder how I wan take chop 180
strokes?..Before that day, the highest i must have
collected is mayb 12 strokes and dat is during general
punishment..Some don collect 50, some 100 depending on
the nature of the offence..Emeka is a chester (Chester is
d slang we use for someone who knows how to chop cane
well) but emeka is not a good chester like bayo..infact
bayo is d best chester in our set..Me on d oda hand..I
fear cane pass anything..I was relating my fears to bayo
as we were kneeling down..so he gave me one small stick
dat the secret is that I should jst keep chewing d stick
hard as dey are flogging me..dat a point will come after
first 20 strokes dat I wont even feel d pain again...I said
okay but in my mind..I still dey fear..It was Bayo dat
went first...Mehn Bayo chop 180 strokes o without moving
an inch on that bunk..trust students now..dey counted and
even clapped for him...Next was emeka wey put us 4 d
whole problem...Emeka climbed d bunk..dey started 1, 2,
3, 4 but emeka left d bunk handle at 46..so dey started
again..dis tym around he chop d 180 without removing his
hand.
Now it was my turn...My heart was really beating fast..I
climbed d bunk and held d bunk handle..Na 3 dem reach
wey I remove hand...at dat point, d stick dem say make I
chew sef..I no see am again..d kind pain wey enter my
body make d stick fly comot my mouth...dem started
again..dis tym around I manage to get to five..d pain was
unbearable..I removed my hand o..infact I cant recollect
the number of times I removed my hand..I must have
collected like 36 strokes if i were 2 add up the ones I
collected in between those short intervals...The principal
had to tell two teachers to hold my hand and legs so as to
chop my 180 strokes o..Na so the story go o
For a week..na slow motion we dey take sit down for
chair..you go balance with one side of d buttocks before
u balance d oda part..Other 7 frnds whose named were
not mentioned by us were really grateful that we did not
mention there names..They treated us like kings for d
rest of dat term..infact things we owed some of
dem..dey did not bother to collect it back..

One night in junior secondary where I was a boarder, I had visited the dinning hall to eat this watery yam and beans that looked like baby poo.
After dinner, I suddenly felt pressed and started running back to the hostel to defecate.

On my way to the hostel, just at the staircase, na so the thing just dey commot for my yansh. I looked around, nobody was coming, I immediately pulled down my short, and the next thing, "prah..prah..prah..praaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Then I heard footsteps, na so I just stand, wear my trouser and dashed to our room. My room head saw me and came to ask me for some provisions and started perceiving sh*t.

"Hmmmmm! You dey smell sh*t" he said

Just at that moment, our house sanitation prefect walked in and said(he was actually telling my room head),"Shit dey smell for that staircase".
Gbam! One thing led to another, and I confessed!

That night, the size of my buttocks tripled because na plank dey use flog me. Na one side I dey use sit down.
I seriously considered quitting boarding school but Thank God I finished!

I won't forget that night, not yet!!

awwwwww shiiiit God damn. lwkmd