I watched a documentary recently about the
legendary singer - Michael Jackson -
nicknamed ''King of pop''. The documentary
was called 'the changing faces of Michael'. It
talked about how his face changed over the
course of his live from when he became a
teenager to an adult. Many abused him for
trying to change what God gave him and
how he hated to be a black man etc. But what
I saw was not a man who had too much
money to spend on his vanity but a little boy
who had self esteem issues.
His low self esteem started when he was a
child. When he was called big nose - not by
outsiders but by his family. He grew up
becoming self conscious of his nose.
Everywhere he went his nose hindered him
from moving forward. He kept asking his
older sister as he grew if she felt his nose
was too big - she comforted him by saying he
would grow into it. That was not enough for
him, he was in the public eye and he just
wanted to be perfect. If his family thought he
was not perfect then what does the public
think? By the time he became a teenager and
had money of his own without his controlling
father - he decided to take care of the one
thing that he felt was holding him back - his
nose. And that's when the trouble started.
Many times we grow up being nicknamed
something. It would start out as a joke - but
have you considered the person it is directed
at? Even adults feel self conscious when you
point out a flaw on them how much more
children. My little brother was called - frying
pan ears for a long time. His ears were so big
and flappy that we joked so much about it. He
would cry and fight that his name is not
frying pan ears. I bet if he had enough money
and we called him frying pan ears enough he
would do something to fix it, to make himself
perfect. I grew up being called 'bakassi'. I
hated the name so much that I wore baggy
clothes for a long time. I learned to immune
myself from the ridicule and grew into a
confident (but very sarcastic) woman but
every now and again I wondered if my bum
was not too big for my body. Who knows
maybe if I had crazy money I would go for
reduction (nah........)
But my point is, we need to be careful how
we ridicule and bully children all in the name
of play. Yes it may have been a joke but you
never know what goes on in the mind of a
child. Fear is a horrible thing and we all feel a
need to please people around us (of course
till will grow up and realise - nobody matters
but us). For some it may have been too late to
realise this, for others who were lucky (like
me) they overcame the urge to please
everyone. Our children are very vulnerable
and in a world where almost everyone has
become vain and feel the need to be perfect
(who knows what perfect is sef?), we need to
help boost our children's confidence. Not only
girls, but even boys. Now, my son has big
ears and long head, but instead of ridiculing
him, I just tell him - your ears are big and
perfect enough to hear everything mummy
says and that head is full of brains to become
the next Bill gates and he always lights up.
Compliment your child today. No one is
perfect not even you.

Poor (rich) Michael. The tragedy of a gifted child.

He never learned to love himself.

Rest in peace LOVE. I will never forget you.

But sincerely, his nose wasn't dat big naaa. I miss him a lot, @ times I listen 2 some songs & I imagine hw d industry wud have been nw if he were still alive. I love him so much, he was so cute & he had a lovely dentitn&smile. When he was still dark, he was on afro&it fitted him very well enjoyed every lyrics, beat, video and dance of him.
Rest in Peace Micheal! U'll forever live in my heart, my kids must know him also.

dahmie2013:
But sincerely, his nose wasn't dat big naaa. I miss him a lot, @ times I listen 2 some songs & I imagine hw d industry wud have been nw if he were still alive. I love him so much, he was so cute & he had a lovely dentitn&smile. When he was still dark, he was on afro&it fitted him very well enjoyed every lyrics, beat, video and dance of him.
Rest in Peace Micheal! U'll forever live in my heart, my kids must know him also.

Nothing was wrong with his nose but that is not the point. There are people who have bigger noses but accept and love themselves and they radiate it, which makes them attractive to others. That is because they were taught to love themselves unconditionally. He didn't and it killed him.

Thanks OP! Words have destroyed more lives than swords and weapons.

At a much earlier stage in life, our minds are blank, and whatever is printed thereon sticks like glue. A lot of mental reprogramming must be done to change a negative mindset.

And it's even worse when the negative words come from very close relatives or even parents. We must be careful how we talk to our kids.

Don't want to go into details how my parents hateful words spewed in times of anger almost ruined my life.

I prefer flogging to those derogatory words.

Wacko remains one of my greatest heroes.