Wedding Palava: Church Wedding, Court or Traditional?? - Family - Nairaland
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| Wedding Palava: Church Wedding, Court or Traditional?? by Nobody: 9:57am On Mar 05, 2015 |
I've been away from Nigeria for 12 years now (UK) and will be getting married soon. My fiancé is also a Nigerian who has been away for a long time too. We would like to get married in back home as we have a lot of friends and family there. Left to me, I'm happy to do just the traditional wedding and then return to UK to sign court documents. However, my family is so big and very religious that I don't have a choice but to do a church wedding. Some of my aunties and grandma even say the marriage will never be recognised in the sight of God if we don't do it in church. The problem now is that neither of us (me & my fiancé) are affiliated with any church in Nig. I'm guessing it's not possible to just approach any church as the Pastor/Ministers might require us to be a member before any wedding proceedings can take place. I would appreciate your advise on how to go about organising this wedding. Thankss.. 2 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Wedding Palava: Church Wedding, Court or Traditional?? by MizMyColi(f): 10:07am On Mar 05, 2015 |
Personally sef, I'm beginning to rethink this idea of white Why? What is my reason for wanting a big wedding? Why spend all that money? Why the crowd? Let those who are clamoring for the church wedding provide a church na. Since that is the only way  6 Likes |
| Re: Wedding Palava: Church Wedding, Court or Traditional?? by Osihgen(m): 10:09am On Mar 05, 2015 |
Traditional and court..simple 1 Like |
| Re: Wedding Palava: Church Wedding, Court or Traditional?? by Nobody: 10:18am On Mar 05, 2015 |
How about stop getting opinions from others & go with what you feel is right? 1 Like |
| Re: Wedding Palava: Church Wedding, Court or Traditional?? by okirewaju(f): 10:44am On Mar 05, 2015 |
I wonder what's the fuss about church wedding anyway when I and hubby had to go to court to collect the marriage certificate which we submitted at the church days before the wedding which was later given to us on that wedding day with the church stamp on it. You can approach any of your family members and explain the issue to them-hopefully something can be arranged or you can go to your childhood church and make enquires. All the best! 1 Like |
| Re: Wedding Palava: Church Wedding, Court or Traditional?? by Nobody: 10:50am On Mar 05, 2015 |
You don't need to be affiliated with a church to do a wedding. just go to the church you wish to do your wedding, they will give you the procedures which include registration et al... All the best.. |
| Re: Wedding Palava: Church Wedding, Court or Traditional?? by irunoko(m): 11:40am On Mar 05, 2015 |
So you get sarcasm like this  MizMyColi:
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| Re: Wedding Palava: Church Wedding, Court or Traditional?? by fpeter(f): 11:45am On Mar 05, 2015 |
If your grandma or your aunts and uncles attend a good Bible believing Church here they will wed you but you may need to undergo some foundational classes and pre- marriage courses for a few weeks or months, how about your man's family? Don't they attend any church here in Nigeria? |
| Re: Wedding Palava: Church Wedding, Court or Traditional?? by Nobody: 12:58pm On Mar 05, 2015 |
fpeter: You see, this what I find so off putting.. why do they make the marriage process more strenuous than it is already.. 1 Like |
| Re: Wedding Palava: Church Wedding, Court or Traditional?? by Nobody: 1:03pm On Mar 05, 2015 |
MizMyColi: Lool.. my thoughts exactly, but having so many aunties with dominant personalities makes it kinda hard to stand up for myself |
| Re: Wedding Palava: Church Wedding, Court or Traditional?? by Nobody: 1:12pm On Mar 05, 2015 |
MarvellousGod: MG don turn expert. Family, wedding, children. Hmmm preparing ahead. I sincerely wish you that sweetness you so desire. HML in adv. Cheers ma'am. 1 Like |
| Re: Wedding Palava: Church Wedding, Court or Traditional?? by Evina(f): 1:16pm On Mar 05, 2015 |
Dear lolaredvelvet, I totally understand your plight, as I had a quite similar situation. Worse was, we wanted to have an outdoor wedding where the pastor will come join us and reception holds at the same venue, cos it is a garden right? Parents in law said NO WAY! Lol. That if it is not in a church building, it will not be recognized by God.   . The back and forth between my fiance and his parents was getting too intense. I didn't even want the white wedding in the first place! So I had to pacify my "oga" to agree with his parents just to get the whole ceremony over with.So many requirements from the church that can stress you out, but you have to keep your goal in view. During the marriage class, there was this couple, the guy is based in the US and had to come all the way to go through the class for 2months. He is getting married next weekend. You have to ask yourself if it's worth the sacrifice and if it is, you know what to do.  2 Likes |
| Re: Wedding Palava: Church Wedding, Court or Traditional?? by MizMyColi(f): 1:17pm On Mar 05, 2015 |
lolaredvelvet: Trust me, I can relate. Patience and Wisdom is the way to go in these matters. 1 Like |
| Re: Wedding Palava: Church Wedding, Court or Traditional?? by Evina(f): 1:20pm On Mar 05, 2015 |
lolaredvelvet: Don't bother! I am a very strong, independent kinda gurl. But when it came to planning the wedding, I took the back seat. LOL. Marriage is the important thing but the wedding is the gateway, so just go the extra to get it out of the way. LOL. |
| Re: Wedding Palava: Church Wedding, Court or Traditional?? by Nobody: 1:26pm On Mar 05, 2015 |
cedaraustine:Thank you so much, wish you happiness too  ehh, do i know you? |
| Re: Wedding Palava: Church Wedding, Court or Traditional?? by Nobody: 1:43pm On Mar 05, 2015 |
Evina: Thanks for sharing this Evina..  |
| Re: Wedding Palava: Church Wedding, Court or Traditional?? by Nobody: 1:58pm On Mar 05, 2015 |
MarvellousGod: Lol. Well, in life, most times, it's not who you know that matters more but WHO knows you. |
| Re: Wedding Palava: Church Wedding, Court or Traditional?? by Evina(f): 1:59pm On Mar 05, 2015 |
| Re: Wedding Palava: Church Wedding, Court or Traditional?? by Nobody: 3:06pm On Mar 05, 2015 |
cedaraustine:oh well, you are right.. Cheers.. 1 Like |
| Re: Wedding Palava: Church Wedding, Court or Traditional?? by wisdomiskey(m): 5:27pm On Mar 06, 2015 |
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| Re: Wedding Palava: Church Wedding, Court or Traditional?? by Nobody: 7:47pm On Mar 06, 2015 |
There is a non-denominational church near Ikeja secretariat Ask there.........wedding process is pretty simple About marriage classes they are meant to help people prepare for their life after their wedding so dont see them as obstacles. They are meant for members of those churches. Most couples are more anxious about the wedding ceremonies than prepping for marriage. In this case its your family forcing you to use a church here whereas as neither of you are affiliated to any church here so that one na their your family palaver. So ask about the church in Ikeja - its a state-owned church I believe 1 Like |
| Re: Wedding Palava: Church Wedding, Court or Traditional?? by Nobody: 10:26pm On Mar 06, 2015 |
salsera: Thanks dear.. V helpful info |
| Re: Wedding Palava: Church Wedding, Court or Traditional?? by Mapletraks: 2:46am On Jun 25, 2015 |
lolaredvelvet: ^^^^^^^^^ @lolaredvelvet @all I came across this interesting thread and would like to say my piece... It is this sort of excessive show-off in the Nigerian society that put me off from getting married to a Nigerian. I had attended a couple of weddings years back of cousins, friends, etc, and realised as well that the so-called WHITE wedding a.k.a church wedding is actually the TRADITIONAL wedding of the white people. So a lot of Nigerians are IGNORANTLY doing TWO wedding ceremonies by taking part in two traditional wedding ceremonies[the Nigerian and the white man's traditional weddings]. I think the traditional weddings can be further modernised so as to do away with the white wedding in church which isn't our culture. It is ridiculous when I see Nigerians back home and some in the Diaspora doing 2 traditional weddings and wasting money. The Nigerian women I rolled with were very intelligent and would have loved to be married to one of them, but I found myself gravitating towards a non-Nigerian to avoid all the loud preparations, pressures from Nigerian families to conform with the HERD MENTALITY that is associated with Nigerian weddings. My wedding was done outside Nigeria to my spouse who is biracial and it was done without much stress in the presence of a few family members and friends on both sides. Even amongst the North Americans and Europeans, weddings usually last between 30 to 40 minutes in a church/civil wedding and then the reception takes place, and more people in the West and other locations are heading for manageable destination weddings with just a few family members and friends in places like Seychelles, Maui, Barbados, etc, then do their honeymoons in those locations as well to save cost. I wish you the best on your impending wedding/marriage. Cheers! 1 Like |
| Re: Wedding Palava: Church Wedding, Court or Traditional?? by bignas8372: 1:42am On Jan 13, 2020 |
I really want to have an outdoor wedding, precisely in a garden where the pastor will come and do what is being done in the church there. I really want to know which church in Jos, Plateau State that wouldn't mind doing that because the church I worship with are full of doctrines that are on called for. Thanks guys. |
| Re: Wedding Palava: Church Wedding, Court or Traditional?? by Juliearth(f): 5:56am On Jan 13, 2020 |
MizMyColi: White wedding is not bad, looking at it from an idealistic point of view. However, the excesses we attach to it makes it preposterous. Its meant to be a sacred ceremony between the intending couple and their family members as witnesses, but here in Nigeria, we make it as elaborate as possible, seeing it as a venture to display our opulence. If I could, if I would do a church wedding, attendance would be less than 50, exchange of vows would be a private ceremony, refreshment would be available immediately after the ceremony to cut cost of reception.... Towing this path, cost implication would be very much manageable. Op, it is your wedding and your "pocket" that is at stake. You can decide to have the church ceremony, but make it a private one. If your family's rant doesn't take a skin off your nose, they would have to pipe down a bit. 1 Like |
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