There is nothing like love operating in this universe. Infact ''real love'' is
an illusion originated by medieaval trickstars. Whenever a human falls in love,
he knows there is a greater gain waiting for him at the receiving end. The
synonym of self-centeredness is LOVE. My admonition to everyone is for them
to live their lives the way they want, according to how they want nature to
regard them. You were born alone and you are going to die alone so why live
a life others want for you.--- SEXZSKIL, Nairaland, June, 2014.

With this above quote by a female nairalander who I supposedly admire most, I came to conclude about the facade called love.

First of all, I want Emusmith to know that I hold nothing personal against him. Yet, fact must always be pointed out at all times, yes, facts that stand against sentiments, geographical norms and traditions. First of all, Emusmith, parents are nothing special, however important they are, they stand the same purpose as a conduit pipe with which without there would be no continuation. Remember without ''parents'', which include both sex, the world would have stopped having human species since day one.

My parents never cared for me, in fact my mother left me to re-marry when I was mere 9 months old, my father dumped me with his old haggard mother in the village at two as he remarried too, in wealth. I was left in the village totally unattended to, thereby becoming a farmer and learning to cater for myself since five! Some years later, my ''father's'' wife and the only son he had through her died. At that time I was terribly sick, almost at the point of death in the village. Someone told him this in the city and he decided to come and picked me up from the village, note that he had become broke by that time. When the going was sweet, this man dumped me in his slummy village, remarried and enjoyed the luxury of life with his newfound family, but when everything turned really tough, he had no option but to pull me from the village to come and spend rough time period of his lifetime with him, I bet u he showed me hells of this world. The probable ''mother'' was somewhere enjoying her precious life! I did faced all the problems of my life alone to this day while my so-called father lives, this is because he nurtures the belief that I can never do anything that will benefit his life, and it is only normal that where humans don't see dividend they don't invest!

Oh well, your own ''parents'' might not be like my estranged ''parent(s)'' nor did they abandon u when u were little, they stood by u through thicks and thins of life, minus the cliche, ''they carry u for nine months, pour their blood on your face, yada yada yadas (why not? their ''mothers'' also pour blood on their face, why won't they do this when it is a necessary ''evil'', when they are only securing their own future in the process, etc). Why not? It is a necessary ''evil'' to give birth to children, to avoid been labelled barren, especially from the (African) society they belong, why not when it is a natural process for the continuity of human species. The ''parents'' of course then standby, expecting the products of their womb to worship them as gods.

Africans are so barbaric and primitive! Why would an African suppressed his supposed lovely ''seed'' to child labour such as hawking and running endless errands in the sun, all because ''he gave birth to him''? This is barbaric! In African, once you are a parent, you are automatically ''godified''. You are in a state of veneration. Even when a father or mother offends the child, he is the one to still prostrate and apologise. "parents'' become the one who dictate the fate, destiny or future of the child; it is believed they have mysterious, spiritual influence over a child's life journey because of the blood the mother spilled over the child at birth, their umbilicord that was tied, etc, if a mother for instanced cursed or bless the seed of her womb, it would be according to her words. How more insane can humans get? Does the water worship the pipe? Does electricity worship the cable wires? Again, these beliefs are more common with Africans.

Well, Emusmith, I do not in any way suggest that ''parents'' should not be treated well like normal humans, admired, appreciated or even specially regarded, my point is that these "supposed'' parents are nothing special in a magnified way they are taken. The picture of the old man u put in your thread should beg the thought, is it a natural obligation for his children to call him ''simply'' because he is old? Yet, it is only right that his children call him now that he is old. Did he call those children when he was younger?

The human rights activists, UNICEF, The UN and all right thinking noble individuals and organisations should come to the aid of African helpless kids who their parents inflict various severe tortures in the name of ''parenting''. Through this way thousands and thousands of kids who could have become useful to their societies are wickedly killed every year. The child labour is even more rampant in rural communities. Your child is not your slave! You are not his god! You are just a conduit! All what you need to do is direct, teach and instruct like a personality of his own, not the subordinate u gave birth to. In Africa, even when a child grows, the parents still try to influence his life.

Again, ''parents'' are nothing remarkably special. They should be treated well, honoured, respected or admired, but they shouldn't be made to have sacrosanct right over the 'natural rights' of their kids. Apart from their own selfish interests, if they never borne this child, others would have done it, even in a better fashion. Stop the child labour now!

Emusmith, I'm very sorry to have deviated a bit, but I think my talks are still cohesive as a whole.

OmoUsh.

yawns...

So long, I forgot to read

OmoUSH:


Again, ''parents'' are nothing remarkably special. They should be treated well, honoured, respected or admired, but they shouldn't be made to have sacrosanct right over the 'natural rights' of their kids. Apart from their own selfish interests, if they never borne this child, others would have done it, even in a better fashion.

I agree. Nothing against parents and all but lets just be truthful, you decided to have that child, not because of the love you feel for the child but because it accomplishes a 'goal' that society expects from you and boosts your ego.
In the same way, you educate them (or not) for the same reasons. Yes, you come to love your children after having them (or not), but stop making it sound like you gave birth to them and nurtured them strictly as a sacrifice for their sake.

It particularly annoys me when I hear that the proof of a mother's love is the hours of labour, she went through the labour because she did not have a choice biko, just as I will go through labour because I don't have a choice (and in these days of epidural sef )

Treat your parents right and love and care for them because it is right, there is nothing abnormally spectacular that they did that was not done for them and will not be done by you for your own children.

This is my own opinion, you are entitled to yours, please don't come and quote me to insult me.

Op this is lengthy o,,,,,,u dnt need too many words to pass a message...

This is touching.

Touching article.

ermmmmm, MOD,
I'll appreciate if u render justice to this thread.

bestestgirl:

I agree. Nothing against parents and all but lets just be truthful, you decided to have that child, not because of the love you feel for the child but because it accomplishes a 'goal' that society expects from you and boosts your ego.
In the same way, you educate them (or not) for the same reasons. Yes, you come to love your children after having them (or not), but stop making it sound like you gave birth to them and nurtured them strictly for their sake.

It particularly annoys me when I hear that the proof of a mother's love is the hours of labour, she went through the labour because she did not have a choice biko, just as I will go through labour because I don't have a choice (and in these days of epidural sef )

Treat your parents right and love and care for them because it is right, there is nothing abnormally spectacular that they did that was not done for them and will not be done by you for your own children.

This is my own opinion, you are entitled to yours, please don't come and quote me to insult me.

Pray your future child never reads this...



if you dont knw that being a parent is special...you need to go back to school...i ve not even gone to the biblical angle to it about honoring your parents....


common! has western media taken over all your reasoning?

and for your info @ mod...


you think the parents who send their children to hawk like it? or you dont realise they are only doing so to make ends meet?


people like adenuga and mko abiola hawked and wen they became sometin they appreciated their moms like gods...

am sure you didnt hawk yet u re here spewing trash...

pls tell us if u have a child...then we can take it from there...

sucess001:


Pray your future child never reads this...

if you dont knw that being a parent is special...you need to go back to school...i ve not even gone to the biblical angle to it about honoring your parents....

common! has western media taken over all your reasoning?

so it was school that taught you that your own parents were special? thats cute
Anyway, please read my post again, I advocated that we should honour parents and love them and treat them right, it is clearly written there.

bestestgirl:

so it was school that taught you that your own parents were special? thats cute
Anyway, please read my post again, I advocated that we should honour parents and love them and treat them right, it is clearly written there.

well...school doesnt have to be formal education....


and how do u honor them if you dont believe they are special? wat informs the honor?

sucess001:


well...school doesnt have to be formal education....

and how do u honor them if you dont believe they are special? wat informs the honor?

I have a best friend, we have been friends for over ten years, she understands me even when I don't say a word, when I have had a stressful day, a five minute call of girly gossip with her would just rejuvenate me. funny enough, we have not set eyes on each other in the past five years but we are closer than ever. I call because I miss her, I send her birthday (and other) gifts because it delights me to give her that pleasure, we have been there for each other in times of need. we have that relationship we are best friends.

That is how it should be with parents, you do not make a claim on my love and respect simply because you pushed me out of your nether regions (someone pushed you out and I will also push others out), you make a claim on my love because you were a friend to me, you were my rock, my confidant, my protector, my comforter. I should want to call you up because I miss you not because someone reminded me on NL that my mother labored for nine hours before giving birth to me.

Many Nigerian parents use their children to practice how to act as a God, they abuse and enslave and go all out with the 'I am the author and finisher of your life' routine. Children do not love their parents, they fear them. Then suddenly, as an adult, you are expected to develop tender and loving feelings towards them just because you have attended a few Biology lessons and now understand the birth process?

Look at the story of the OP again, some parents make it hard to honour them. If you have had wonderful parents, thank God for you, believe me, you are in the minority. If you are currently being a great parent to your child, thank God for you again and may God continue to empower you.

But if you see someone who says 'I do not love my parents', do not be quick to judge him, not everyone had it good like you.

bestestgirl:

I have a best friend, we have been friends for over ten years, she understands me even when I don't say a word, when I have had a stressful day, a five minute call of girly gossip with her would just rejuvenate me. funny enough, we have not set eyes on each other in the past five years but we are closer than ever. I call because I miss her, I send her birthday (and other) gifts because it delights me to give her that pleasure, we have been there for each other in times of need. we have that relationship we are best friends.

That is how it should be with parents, you do not make a claim on my love and respect simply because you pushed me out of your nether regions (someone pushed you out and I will also push others out), you make a claim on my love because you were a friend to me, you were my rock, my confidant, my protector, my comforter. I should want to call you up because I miss you not because someone reminded me on NL that my mother labored for nine hours before giving birth to me.

Many Nigerian parents use their children to practice how to act as a God, they abuse and enslave and go all out with the 'I am the author and finisher of your life' routine. Children do not love their parents, they fear them. Then suddenly, as an adult, you are expected to develop tender and loving feelings towards them just because you have attended a few Biology lessons and now understand the birth process?

Look at the story of the OP again, some parents make it hard to honour them. If you have had wonderful parents, thank God for you, believe me, you are in the minority. If you are currently being a great parent to your child, thank God for you again and may God continue to empower you.

But if you see someone who says 'I do not love my parents', do not be quick to judge him, not everyone had it good like you.

you dont get it....they didnt just 'push you out'...they carried u for 9 months...you sucked on their nutrients for 9 months and truthfully, you wont be here on nairaland if they had decided against having u.


God said honor your parents...he didnt say honor the parents who have proven to be good parents or parents who have proven to be your friend.


i do beg you...dont let these silly posts enter your head...honoring your parents come with covenant blessings...

sucess001:


you dont get it....they didnt just 'push you out'...they carried u for 9 months...you sucked on their nutrients for 9 months and truthfully, you wont be here on nairaland if they had decided against having u.

God said honor your parents...he didnt say honor the parents who have proven to be good parents or parents who have proven to be your friend.

i do beg you...dont let these silly posts enter your head...honoring your parents come with covenant blessings...

I will admit that you do have a very good point with the bolded, but believe me brother, it is easier said than done.

bestestgirl:

I will admit that you do have a very good point with the bolded, but believe me brother, it is easier said than done.

See ehn... i understand u...personally i am sooo upset with my dad for sometin he did recently....but its not for us to repay dem negatively...


Calm down and reflect....how would you feel if your child were to tell you ' there's no big deal in you being her mother?'


your parent was an avenue for u to have life....without them you wont even be engaging in this conversation...and trust me....they had a choice to have you or not...

and on a related note...if you are a girl and your guy is saying the kinda things the op is saying, pls run far. such people have no regard for values and institutions and will similarly prove to you over time that 'there's no big deal being a wife'

MisterLongman:

The bible says honour your parents. It didn't say a child should turn them into a deity.
BTW, what school are you talking about

they are small gods to the child...


And how do you honor them? pls tell us...DO YOU HAVE A CHILD?

bestestgirl:

I agree. Nothing against parents and all but lets just be truthful, you decided to have that child, not because of the love you feel for the child but because it accomplishes a 'goal' that society expects from you and boosts your ego.
In the same way, you educate them (or not) for the same reasons. Yes, you come to love your children after having them (or not), but stop making it sound like you gave birth to them and nurtured them strictly as a sacrifice for their sake.

It particularly annoys me when I hear that the proof of a mother's love is the hours of labour, she went through the labour because she did not have a choice biko, just as I will go through labour because I don't have a choice (and in these days of epidural sef )

Treat your parents right and love and care for them because it is right, there is nothing abnormally spectacular that they did that was not done for them and will not be done by you for your own children.

This is my own opinion, you are entitled to yours, please don't come and quote me to insult me.

DEAR U AND SUCCESS001 HAVE GOT THE MINDS OF YOUR OWN. PEOPLE WHO BREAK AGAINST THE NORM, WHO DON'T USE THEIR LIVES TO FOLLOW POPULAR BELEIFS AND OPINIONS, PEOPLE WHO THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX, YOU ARE OF GREAT MINDS.

I don't need to post anything any longer. All the points I wished or desired to make are already made.

MOD, this is another side of Emusmith's thread that hit the front page, consider this as also worthy. Note, I never said parents are not to be regarded, even specially. Thanks.