Deal with emotional abuse
MARCH 8, 2015 BY JAYNE AUGOYE
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Deal with emotional abuse
Using verbal assault, fear or humiliation to
undermine your partner’s self-esteem and self-
worth, can cause psychological damage. Difficult
to manage, the following tips can help:
Set limits
An easy way to handle any case of emotional
abuse is to develop some level of confidence.
Psychologists often suggest that you let your
partner know that you are open to hearing his
concerns about your actions and how they
impact him, but will no longer engage in
conversations that attack who you are as a
person. Set limits and inform your partner in a
subtle tone, which will not infuriate him or her
the more.
Consider your partner’s concerns
While this may sound like an odd thing to do at
first, it is important that you ask your partner
the reason why he or she verbally abuses you.
Also, find out what you are willing to do for him
or her to change whilst making sure you align
these requests with your personal well-being and
integrity. At the same time, do not agree to do
things in order to keep the peace or save the
relationship, especially if deep down you know it
isn’t right for you.
Reflect on your life goals
Consider your values, goals and needs. Make
sure your decisions are in alignment with your
needs. Let him or her know what you can and
can’t do for him. Whatever you do, do not be
intimidated. Be assertive and make him
understand your wishes and utmost desires at
all times.
Study the abuser
Find positive ways to interact with the abuser –
if you can handle the abuser in a neutral way,
you may be able to see the positive in the
abuser and find new ways to interact with him or
her that is positive.
While it can seem counter-intuitive to have
compassion for the abuser, sometimes changing
the way you view the abuser can give you insight
into coping with the abuse.
Make healthy friends
Find ways to reconnect with the people or
friends that will appreciate you for who you are
at all times. Engage and connect with other
people that support your dreams and are willing
to help you achieve it. Join a support group and
connect with others in the same situation like
you.
Take a walk
At the end of the day, only you can decide if his
or her controlling behaviour is something you
are willing to live with or not. Relationships
should be something that develop and not
diminish you. Because love celebrates who you
are and you deserve to have a powerful and
loving relationship, you can take a walk if it is
beyond repair. Love yourself enough to take a
walk especially if your life and sanity is at stake.


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