JustGood Yeah, love can make you blind. Not refusing that but i'm far from naive. I just happen to be strong companion trying not to give up so easily and become part of the sterotypical AA female. I'm still admiring the 28 year marriage that my parents have.What's wrong with giving the benefit of the doubt until exhausting all options BEFORE marriage. So please, clarify what signs you see that are obvious.

btrue, if I were you I wouldn't get my hopes all up and kicking over the possibility of his folks accepting you, if that's what you're looking for. Yes, be true-- but at the same time be real, sis and realize that if his family over in Nigeria already don't like you, the possibility of him going over there and convincing them otherwise ain't likely to happen no time soon. Hey, I'm just keeping it real with ya sis. Peace and Love, my beautiful brown blossom.

Common guys, many African parents knew how men are treated in the US when it comes to marriage. More emphasis are placed on the women, and many uncultured women get away with so much uncommon and unacceptable behaviors. This issue among others constitutes fear in some Africans' parents mind - nija included.

Examples:
Have you not heard of the story of a brother that loses his job, and the African American wife kicked him out of the house for that? When you go online, do you not see how so loose the white or colored females (any color besides the brown skin) portrayed themselves?

In short, the story about American women needs to change. However, the story we too in the states are hearing about nija women are almost at equilibrium with other women in the western world if not much worse. Just an opinion.

Taken I respect your response. I'm just so baffled at the stereotype that is seen upon American women/AA women. I know so many strong black women that have the same family values as the African culture. Like sticking by their husband after an affair, after having an outside kid,losing a job, and even paying child support for their husband and the list goes on. As far as the story about the Nigerian man being kicked out by his American wife---------there is always 3 sides of the story-----his, hers, and the truth. Any intelligent person would know that he didn't come home and say "honey i lost my job" and the lady in return started packing his stuff saying "Get out!!" It just doesn't make any sense. If she was that crazy i'm quite sure he would have noticed her ways long before he lost his job.

Why do people always pick out the bad in everything? In reference to your comment about how loose American women portray themselves online. For each its own, i can find the same thing online with African women. Our culture is much free than others. So are we thought of as a classes society? Can you pick out any great things about AA women??

That really breaks my heart. I grew up around and surround myself by well grounded people. Unfortunately, people are still looking at America especially Black America as if we hold no values. WAKE UP Corretta Scott King and Martin Luther King/Michelle and Barack Obama is not the only AA couple that portrays the ideal perfect family image. They are all over the US and still exist in young America.

Unfortunately some African men come over and get with these crazy females and still decide to stay with them after experiencing all that drama when they should have seen it coming a long time ago. They in return bash all AA women and mess things up for women like myself.

It really bothers me that the African men can come over here and date American girls with no intentions on marrying them. They should be up front and not involve themselves as being "serious". That is unfair and un- Godly because it is a big LIE ( their intentions). But the way I was raised, I will still love my African brothers including American men for all their mistakes and pray that this stereotyping and idealism will stop.

I guess we are all reaping what we sow. Unfortunately innocent pple are caught up in the middle.

Whether in the third or western world, women are all the same. But a GOOD WIFE, wow, her price is indeed greater than rubies or precious gold.

Moreover, Parents should be seeking for a good WIFE instead of a cultural woman.

[b]Taken[/b]well said AMEN!!!!

dont go

I think its a bad idea to go with your husband given the fact that he had not told his parents about you until he popped the ring. Its like taking your  man to your parents without  ever mentioning him to your parents. Its like you are begging to be "married" to this guy which I know that you are not.

He should be the one to explain everything to his family not you.

For ones girl, i suggest you listen to "KB1's" advise. that guy meant no harm from my own perspective. It wont be a shocking news that yoruba's has no age barrier as per engaging or as far as having kids with someone down in Nigeria before relocation to any country. It therefore amount to unbearable pressure from the bude's parent if he should divert his attention to someone else.


My humble advise to you is that if he wouldn't allow you to visit naija the same time with him, it therefore means rat is in the wardrobe, run! run!! run!!! period. It is very possible that he is really in love with you but no matter how racism the parents could be, your visit wouldn't complicate issues if he wasn't previously engaged with any girl in naija. let your mind lead you through. good luck