The book “The Other Woman In Marriage” is a touching life stories of the increasing crumbling marriages put together by the author Israel Onoriode Ugbo. It stressed on the followings; wrong choices made, proffers solution on how to protect your marriage from all forms of attacks, advises on knowing the right person to marry, strange women and men in marriage, how God feels about divorce etc..

SAVE A MARRIAGE BY PICKING A COPY OF THIS BOOK FOR PEOPLE THAT ARE HAVING CHALLENGES IN THEIR MARRIAGES for just N200 on www.okadabooks.com


Phone: 07069373637, 08056128950
E-mail: israelugbo@gmail.com


DEDICATION
I dedicate this book to every marriage that is facing challenges and I pray that the Almighty God who has ordained marriage to succeed will make yours a success in Jesus name Amen!
 

INTRODUCTION
This book “the Other Woman in Marriage” stresses on “Strange Women” and the marriage institution. As we read on, the terms “the Other Woman” and “Strange Woman” will be used interchangeably as they constitute major discourse.

Disagreements are common between married couples-including very happy ones, but it could be approached in variety of ways. The way and manner couples handle disagreements may well influence their long-term happiness and togetherness.

The ability to handle situations in your marriage makes you a real husband and not a man. There are plenty men out there and there are husbands out there, too. Husbands are those who know what marriage is all about.

Shying away from your responsibilities as a husband only makes you vulnerable to these Strange Women. Problems are inevitable in a marriage no matter how anointed you are. In fact, problems are spices that garnish the marriage. If well handled, it strengthens the marriage - it brings understanding, maturity and unity into the marriage. There must be a problem before victory – you can’t be a victor over nothing.

On the other hand, if a problem is not well managed or handled in a marriage, it could escalate and give birth to grief, fight, disunity etc.. Conflict is common and some of us have had a plateful of it in our marriages. Although some of our experiences have not been pretty, but we must stand gallant always for our marriage to flourish.

We all know that marriage involves two people from different backgrounds-some with awful habits, interesting idiosyncrasies, gluttony, snoring devices, bunch of expectations and with the much heat of daily trials of life, we are bound to have conflict unavoidably.

Since every marriage has its tensions, it is a question of how to deal with the situations as conflict can lead to a process that develops oneness or division. You and your spouse must behave maturely when conflict occurs as divorce is not an option for Christians.

Strange Women are beckoned by our attitude or character of selfishness and self-centeredness in marriage. We invite them by our actions. Going to drinking joints as a husband and head of the house because you claim to be the tail that wags the big dog is one of the ways you invite these women into your life and your marriage. Marriage today is often seen as a consumption item - a financial burden and for that singular reason many refused to be married and are now doing it the other way round – something that kindled God’s anger to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah.

THE GENESIS (Chapter 1)
A young vibrant and intelligent Gideon got married to his lovely wife and from a humble and little beginnings, God began to bless them. “Do not despise these small beginnings, for the LORD rejoices to see the work begin, to see the plumb line in Zerubbabel’s hand.” Zechariah 4:10.
Proverbs 18:22 tells us that “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the LORD”. Truly speaking, Gideon obtained favour from the Lord and began to flourish in all spheres of life.

He was so hardworking, faithful in his duties with gung-ho manner, but started having issues at home with his wife. These issues escalated to a level that he could no longer feel comfortable at home anymore and started keeping late nights.
One weekend as Gideon was driving to school (private lectures), a Kalabari lady named Ruth, tall, chocolate in complexion and plumpy with big oval blue-eyed from the same university joined him. They greeted and did a brief introduction.

Ruth began to like Gideon because he bears the same name with her father; Gideon is tall, dark in complexion, slim, cute and a soft-spoken fellow with a hard cheekbones; a wide, square Jawbones. He noticed these feelings from her expression and told her that he was married with children to avoid false hopes and any involvement. However, her love for Gideon grew since they attended lectures in the same centre and coincidentally lived in the same axis of the city. Although Ruth was sad that people she loves so much were always married- she felt that life is unfair to her. Ruth never stopped professing her love for Gideon.

Gideon visited Ruth one Sunday before going for lectures and met her in the kitchen cooking and she said to him “mi casa es su casa” meaning my house is your house-a greeting to guests similar to "make yourself at home”. He assisted her in cutting some vegetables, carrots and they expressed love for each other strongly like Romeo and Juliet - Gideon held her tightly, bending over her as they stood in the kitchen, pressed his lips to hers and the cat was let loose. Owing to the challenges at Gideon’s home as at that time, it was easy for them to start a relationship to the detriment of his marriage. Gideon’s wife Nancy is fair in complexion, average in height, long-haired, beautiful like an Angel, has a strong mother tongue, churchy, but irresistible extrovert.


Although she has given birth to two children through Cesarean Section (CS)-you can hardly discern. She started complaining and nagging when she noticed her husband’s infidelity - she found Ruth’s picture in her husband’s car pigeonhole.

Finally, that led to incessant physical confrontation between the once jolly couple. In one of their many fights, Nancy refused the husband to go to work as she padlocked the door and hid the key –until her husband’s boss called. Nancy picked the phone and in one breath told him everything “he is cheating on me Sir” - he is always home less and less often, and when he did come home, there were more social media chats and conversations on the telephone with the Other Woman. He did not have time to play with the children nor help them with their “homework” anymore. She then broke-down in tears.
“Madam, release him for me I beg of you and I will take care of the situation, I promise.” These were the exact words of Gideon’s boss.


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KNOWING WHO TO MARRY (Chapter 6)
You don’t just have to marry anybody, anyhow or from anywhere just because there is much pressure from your family and friends. Knowing the will of God is a serious issue in Christian marriage. Many Christians marry without knowing what the will of God is for their marriage. I have heard people say that as long as you do not marry an unbeliever, you have fulfilled the will of God for your marriage. No wonder Christian divorce rate is soaring like those of the people of the world.

Though people are counting the birthdays you have celebrated and mocking you that it is too late for you to get married, but hear me when I say – God’s time is never too late.

Take this bitter truth from me. It is not everybody that you see in the church that is a true believer. They may proclaim Christianity, sing in the choir, join the evangelism team, and even preach in the pulpit as a minister, but they may be far from God. As a matter of fact, many agent of the devil actually abounds in the church; they’ve proliferated the churches of God and are working evil. They may be handsome brothers or beautiful sisters; you can’t know them by their faces or skin colour …………..(Get the complete book for the rest of the story) .


Azuka is a son of a multi millionaire man from Anabara State. He lives a wayward life of drinking, gambling, stealing, womanizing – the list goes on. He fell in love with Ada-a dedicated Christian sister and told her that he wants to marry her but the Ada said to him - I cannot marry you because you don’t know Christ and unless you are born again. Azuka told Ada that he is ready to accept Christ which he later did. He followed this Ada to the church, gave his life to Christ after the sermon with tears rolling down his cheeks and convinced her with his conducts that he was genuinely born again.

Ada believed him and they got wedded in the church against the counsel of the church leaders. In less than three months, Azuka went back to his wayward life of drinking, gambling, stealing, womanizing etc. and when the Ada asked him, what are you doing - I thought you have confessed Christ and let go of the past? He answered her that “marriage is for better and for worse”……………….(Get the complete book for the rest of the story)

We are too much in a hurry to wait upon the Lord or hear from Him. We make hasty conclusions that “I have found him/her whom my soul loveth, I held him/her and will not let go”. Our actions are driven by hallucination and even when we see signs and warnings from people that this marriage will not work, we refused to listen because we are too stiff-necked.

Here is a pathetic story of sister Cynthia - her life starts out like the end of a romantic novel. She married a handsome man (Paul) who promised to make her life happy and exciting………….. (Get the complete book for the rest of the story)

Your choice in a spouse is one of the most important decisions you will ever make and It’s also one of the few that so greatly impacts the rest of your life. It’s no wonder that people are concerned with knowing who to marry.
“Knowing who to marry is very important in the quest
of a life partner – not just kissing every frog
hoping it will turn to a prince or princess.”

HOW GOD FEELS ABOUT DIVORCE (Charter 7)
Surfing the net one day, I found an article on “key ways to be rich”-hmmmmm. In one of the highlights, I read about how women could be rich- marry a wealthy man, settle down with him for like a year plus, divorce him and be entitled to part of his wealth. Can you imagine that – it is happening right now even as you are reading this book.


People have been brainwashed to get a divorce paper, serve their spouses and be detached to enjoy life, that “Life is too short - they don’t need all those quandaries in marriage”. In fact, in that article were examples of celebrities that were victims and more on the row of such divorce.

God ordained the institution of marriage to be a solemn covenant between one man and one woman for life. God warns us in Scripture about the danger of entering into this covenant half-heartedly.

Divorce cases are on the rise here in Africa and the rest of the world. Politicians, celebrities, business moguls and even the anointed men and women of God are increasingly divorcing. What a shame. The question now is; do we still have beliefs, norms and values?
No matter how badly two people disagree, they can still find some middle ground. Sometimes what’s needed is for each to put his or her pride and selfishness aside and defer to the other. On very rare occasions, there may be irreconcilable differences, but quite often those that appear to be, can be resolved.

I believe most of us studied Peace and Conflict Resolution in the University as a course? Fine – bring that knowledge into your marriage and make it work. You may ask me how! For instance, your spouse has an inbuilt latest snoring device – depriving you from sleeping every night and this is causing some sort of conflict in your marriage. The Peace and Conflict Resolution knowledge will help you stay awake while he or she snores, then you can continue your sleep from where he or she stops - hahahahaha. Make it fun and not a boring marriage. In few months, that snoring device will be like a soft Classical or Jazz music that you will enjoy while sleeping.

The overriding principle is that once two people have committed to each other, they should stay together and learn to get along, no matter how hard it is. Concerning the subject of divorce, Malachi 2:16 states very clearly how God felt about it. " 'For I hate divorce,' says the Lord, the God of Israel, 'and him who covers his garment with wrong,' says the Lord of Host. 'So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously'."

Please, don’t give up on your marriage.
SAVE A MARRIAGE BY PICKING A COPY OF THIS BOOK FOR PEOPLE THAT ARE HAVING CHALLENGES IN THEIR MARRIAGES.
You can get this book for N200 on www.okadabooks.com


ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Israel Onoriode Ugbo hails from Isoko South Local Government Area of Delta State, Nigeria. He is an Administrator with over 15 years of experience in both private and public sectors of the Nigerian economy. He is a soft-spoken fellow, a linguist, singer and song writer. He has interests in writing, music, ICT and fish farming. He was inspired by the Holy Spirit to write this book – THE “OTHER WOMAN IN MARRIAGE” from real life stories as it has become a matter of concern to the society. He is married with children.