It was all in the media that Governor of Ekiti State, Ayodele Fayose recently blasted the former head of state and APC presidential candidate, General Muhammadu Buhari (rtd). That the former military junta wears pampers at his age, 72. The media went agog with it. Don’t forget we are in election period in Nigeria.
Well, all that I chose not to bother whether Buhari wears pampers, bed wets or anything. It doesn’t put food on my table. Even picking up that day’s daily newspaper, seeing the headline sef. I was vexed. “Nigerian politicians, old men behaving like toddlers.” Was on my mind when I dropped the newspaper on the desk of my colleague I took it from.
In the evening when I got home, I got a call from a one of my colleague in the office informing me that another of my colleague, Ahmadu, his wife had just delivered of a baby boy. Well, I decided to call Ahmadu till I come back from the journey I would be embarking on for the next 2 weeks.
10 days later, I was on the road back to Benin when Sunom, my colleague in the office called me.
Sunom- -- Paddy shey you don hear?
Me --- me, Hear keh. Wetin you wan talk wey I need to hear.
Sunom --- Mehn, Nigerians are crazy people ooo. So you haven’t heard what is happening?
Gad damn it. This guy was beginning to irritate me. You didn’t tell me anything and you are asking me if I have heard.
Me —Oga tell me wetin dey happen joor. No dey whine me jare
Sunom ---- so you never hear wetin dey shelleh.
By this time, I was beginning to get angry and inpatient with what the sunom guy was saying. Infact, I no wan hear again. I caught the call immediately. I had no time for rubbish talk. I had so many things on my mind. What came to my mind was the pounded yam and egusi soup that my wife would be preparing for me in waiting for my arrival. As I was thinking of how I would devour the huge pounded yam and egusi soup, a call came into my phone. It was ebuka, one of my colleagues. I picked up the call;
Me --------- Hello
Ebuka ------ colleague, office don scatter as you dey hear dis ooo.
Me--- ahhh, wetin be that? Wetin dey happen nah.
Ebuka --- Omo Fayose has done it oohhh.
Immediately he said it, I began wondering fayose he was talking about. Is it the fayose that has continued giving APC tough time! Or maybe I didn’t understand what he was talking about. I am done with discussing Fayose and APC.
Me – hmmmm
Ebuka ---- I can’t imagine that that man could be so stupid
Me --- which man?
Ebuka ------ Fayose nah. He bought pampers for Buhari ooo.
Me ---- was that why you took your gad damn phone to call me?
I asked in anger. I was so furious. See me see wahala ooo. If at 60, Someone is still wearing pampers, whats my business. Na their life. I thought what he wanted to tell me was relevant; like our owed five months allowance had been paid to us. “He come dey tell me about 2 adults wey they wear pampers,” I thought to myself.
Me ------- mchewwww. Abeg leave my phone jare.
Immediately I dropped the call, one of the passengers sitting close to me said, “all these Buhari and Fayose package is tiring.” I looked at him. Nah who ask am. I thought in my mind as if I didn’t want the elections should just come and go.
Me ---- no mind them jare..
I replied to the passenger. But come to think of it, it seemed I am far from the current breaking news,’ I thought to myself. So Governor Fayose has finally expanded his madness. He publicly bought pampers for Buhari’ I thought again. “This Naija politicians no go kill us.” I said. I brought out my browsing phone to check the latest news, development and the kind of pampers Ayo fayose bought for Buhari. I opened some news sites but couldn’t find anywhere they wrote that Governor Fayose bought pampers for Buhari. Na only my colleagues mouth I don hear the news. As I was still browsing, I noticed that the young female corp member seating close to me has started updating it on twitter that, “Gov. Ayo Fayose publicly buys brand new pampers for GMB, Pictures coming soon.”
I began to wonder how she got to know. Ohh, she was overheard the conversation with my colleagues. After tweeting it, she began asking me. “Oga, shey na true shah say Fayose buy pampers for Buhari nih.” So she has already updated on twitter before asking me. Well, I told her that was exactly what I was told and I was sure it was true. Because if it wasn’t, my colleagues wouldn’t have called me. I was even bragging to them that I work in a big top Government institution and my friends who told me are journalists so they were sure of what they were saying. Na so topic change for inside car ooo. The PDP and APC goons start to dey abuse each other. They are debating and arguing about Fayose buying pampers for Buhari. The argument took us to our destinations, till I dropped off. Not until I got to the office the next day, I was told that my colleague, Ahmadu named his new born baby Buhari and my boss who his name is Fayose bought baby Buhari pampers on his naming ceremony. Allegedly, people were not happy with it. As rich as my boss, fayose, he could only see pampers to buy for buhari. The man no see better gift buy for buhari, na pampers. And I thought it was Governor Fayose that bought Genral Buhari pampers. What of the people that were inside the car with me the previous day, they had updated it on social media. Hope say dem no go don dey swear for me for false information. Shey make I swear for my colleagues wey give me the news or blame myself for insinuating another thing when I heard the news.
http://www.hovabuzz.com/frontline/972-and-fayose-buys-pampers-for-buhari

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