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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Is There A Singular Reason Why Divorce Is Now Commonplace Among African Couples? (834 Views)
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Is There A Singular Reason Why Divorce Is Now Commonplace Among African Couples? by lazsnaira(m): 12:03am On Mar 23, 2015 |
Is there a singular reason why divorce is now commonplace among African couples, especially young African couples? [Matured Audience Please! Thank You!] |
Re: Is There A Singular Reason Why Divorce Is Now Commonplace Among African Couples? by ronald4lif(m): 12:29am On Mar 23, 2015 |
There are a few reasons I think can be responsible for the high rate of divorce, which are; Marriages are now mainly based on interest, rather than love. And if these interested (which are most times selfish and parochial) are not met that's where issues starts surfacing. Couples are looking for a quick fix, something that can satisfy their needs and if those needs aren’t satisfied some feel it is easier to toss the spouse and move on to the next relationship. If the marriage becomes hard and requires a little attention and work it is easier for some to discard the marriage than to hunker down, roll their sleeves up and go to work, resolve the issues. People think if they meet someone, fall in love with them and eventually get married to them, then that person automatically becomes responsible for their happiness and needs. Many people marry thinking that their happiness is their partners responsibility forgetting that they are the ones responsible for their happiness and if you can't harness and control your emotions yourself no one else can. Another reason is the increased independency of women, financially. As the number of independent women in Africa has increased exponentially. And most of these independent women can barely tolerate men who treats them with disdain and think they can be a push-over. Unlike in the olden era, women were never financially buoyant as they depend solely on their husbands for survival. With these men often times than not maltreating them. Also, I think that one of the reasons that marriages continue to fail is because so many couples, in our instant gratification society, have unreasonably high expectations of what marriage should entail. And when it fails to live up to these impossible standards we walk away with barely a backward glance. Very few people are ready to shove their ego aside and reconcile their differences. They would rather take the easy route out, the divorce option. 5 Likes |
Re: Is There A Singular Reason Why Divorce Is Now Commonplace Among African Couples? by Nobody: 12:57am On Mar 23, 2015 |
the only singular reason I could figure out is unresolved differences,I think pride and unforgiving spirit have taken over our senses 1 Like |
Re: Is There A Singular Reason Why Divorce Is Now Commonplace Among African Couples? by TheSonOfMark(m): 1:16am On Mar 23, 2015 |
Men are learning to stay away from unfaithful, silly women who hide behind feminism and such feminist mantra to cover up for the uncouthness and crass disposition towards men. Men are tired of women who want to play our roles in a relationship. |
Re: Is There A Singular Reason Why Divorce Is Now Commonplace Among African Couples? by delishpot: 1:48am On Mar 23, 2015 |
TheSonOfMark: To you all break ups are caused by the women ba? All husbands are saints and all wives evil if and when the marriage fails ba? |
Re: Is There A Singular Reason Why Divorce Is Now Commonplace Among African Couples? by childluck(m): 5:58am On Mar 23, 2015 |
Trust issues - in any form. |
Re: Is There A Singular Reason Why Divorce Is Now Commonplace Among African Couples? by Nobody: 6:09am On Mar 23, 2015 |
Becus ah big yansh deflate, big yansh turn flat yansh, so ah husband look for anoda yansh. ladies, pliss go gym nd keep ur yansh is gud condition. |
Re: Is There A Singular Reason Why Divorce Is Now Commonplace Among African Couples? by lazsnaira(m): 6:14am On Mar 23, 2015 |
TheSonOfMark: Lol! I don't think its really about that. 1 Like |
Re: Is There A Singular Reason Why Divorce Is Now Commonplace Among African Couples? by Nobody: 8:00am On Mar 23, 2015 |
Well,i think the society contributes greatly to divorce rate The society made it such that without being married,you cant be complete. They pressurise the singles ro get married,MOST succumb to their pressures,they want to get married by force just to satisfy the society,even when their partner is not compatible. Then reality sets in,and divorce creeps in. EGO AND TRUST ISSUES PLAY A GREAT ROLE TOO |
Re: Is There A Singular Reason Why Divorce Is Now Commonplace Among African Couples? by TheSonOfMark(m): 8:15am On Mar 23, 2015 |
kitnah: Society? How easy it is to blame the shortcomings of the individual on society. The pressure to marry was even greater in the days of old yet our ancestors stayed married all through. Now the truth you females are evading is that the introduction of feminist ideas (which most translate to misandry) has helped ruined the chances of a successful relationship. Cc: Delishpot Lazsnaira |
Re: Is There A Singular Reason Why Divorce Is Now Commonplace Among African Couples? by Nobody: 8:31am On Mar 23, 2015 |
delishpot: i wonda o |
Re: Is There A Singular Reason Why Divorce Is Now Commonplace Among African Couples? by delishpot: 9:01am On Mar 23, 2015 |
TheSonOfMark: The reason for high divirce rate is the individuals in the marriage themselves. A woman will not dump a good husband likewise a good husband will not dump his good wife. Back in the day, society frowned at women who dare to leave her husbanD. Beatings from husband to wives were considered normal, husband cheating was considered normal. Women had no ecomonic power so they were tied economicaly to their men no mater what unless she was the daughter of a wealthy man. Many of us can bear withness to the treatments our fathrrs gave their wives, we feel sorry for them and see howmuch they endured all in the name of marriage and for the sake of not having anything to fall back on should they leave. Also if she decides to leave, she will leave her kids behind cos society says the kids are the mans property aloNe. Should the woman want to be involved in their lives, she has to stay put and remain married. Many women endured bad marriages for this reason too. Nowadays, women are economicaly empowered, they can easily move on with their lives if the man is agressive, likewise men dont feel guilt when they decide to leave a bad wife cos she can fend for herself. All in all, people should treat each other as humans in marriages. Men remember their wives are people, with hopes and expectations, she has dreams too and is not created to be a silent door mat. She wants to be assured that you have eyes for only her, she wants your family to be No1 in your schedule. She wants love too. Women on the other hand should know that their men deserve respect, he deserves loyalty and love. she should know he has dreams and needs a comfortable home to retire to after a hard days work. Men and women should be involved in raising their kids. |
Re: Is There A Singular Reason Why Divorce Is Now Commonplace Among African Couples? by lazsnaira(m): 6:34pm On Mar 23, 2015 |
TheSonOfMark: Of course feminist ideologies have greatly contributed to making divorce a trendy lifestyle, especially amongst the middle class. |
Re: Is There A Singular Reason Why Divorce Is Now Commonplace Among African Couples? by Nobody: 9:58pm On Mar 23, 2015 |
This is an interesting question and I think you all have contributed meaningful to it. IMO, many reasons have contributed massively to this 'setback', but since we're looking at a singular reason, I'd say westernization is to be blamed. Our traditional African society, had clear rules of conduct which centered solely on moral principles that guided our behaviour and enhanced the stability of our society. We all know these rules of conduct, so I wouldn't have to go listing them. Alas, these our prized African values have been gradually eroded as a result of Westernization which is a process whereby societies adopt or come under western culture in such matters as in industry, technology, law, diet, language, politics, religion, lifestyle etc. It is having a telling effect on us. This isn't just about divorce. Think about the unwavering support for homosexualism, indecent dressing, terrorism, 1ncest, atheism, foul languages, drug abuse etc. It's a deadly assimilation which has eaten deep into the fabrics of our lives. I don't see it stopping anytime soon. 1 Like 1 Share |
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