1. Pray for Your Priest(s)
“The most important thing a parishioner can do for his/
her priest is pray for them. We are always praying for
someone, even required to offer a Mass every Sunday
and Holy Day of Obligation on behalf of our
parishioners. It’s just good to know that they pray for
us everyday.”
“A rosary, a holy hour, a small offering or a daily
suffering offered for the priest.”
“Send cards to priests with assurances of prayer for
their intentions.”
“The offering of prayers for the priest and his ministry.
(It’s a great joy to know of prayers since I know that
my life and ministry are only as fruitful as the people
praying for me.)”
2. Cook Them a Meal, Especially on Their Busy Days
"It would be nice if someone made sure that the priest
(s) of the parish had a nice cooked meal on Sundays
and major holidays. We often have no cooks and after a
long morning, it would be nice to come home to
something we didn’t have to make.”
“Find out his favorite meal and make it for him.”
3. Celebrate Their Special Days
“Celebrating the priest’s birthday and ordination day are
good thoughts, too.”
“It's nice to be remembered on the day of my priestly
ordination.”
4. Pray More, Complain Less
“The vast majority of interactions seem to revolve
around a complaint about the priest, the parish, a
parishioner, the music, the temperature in the church, a
burned out lightbulb, a decision, etc. and rarely about
the supernatural realities.”
5. Offer to Help
“Don’t wait to be asked! Priests are ordained to give,
and it’s hard for us to ask for things.”
“Volunteer your time to the parish as a sign of support
and service.”
“Consider increasing your tithe to show your support for
the parish and priest.”
6. Go to Mass and/or Confession
“Nothing will make a priest happier.”
“Pick a day, go to a Mass that he's celebrating, and get
a bunch of people to sit in the front rows. When Father
asks you after Mass why, tell him you were offering
your participation at Mass in thanksgiving for His
priesthood.”
7. Write Them a Note Expressing Your Gratitude
“A note, especially to a priest with whom you’ve lost
touch, letting him know how his priesthood impacted
your life - and that you’re still with the program - means
a lot.”
“My favorite thing to receive from people is a letter. Not
a card with a few words. Those are nice too, but I love
receiving a letter or a card with a substantial message
in it. It is very powerful to hear somebody describe
exactly HOW the thing I said or did was so fruitful for
them. It is a reminder that Jesus is a lot bigger than me
and he can do great things with the little I have to
offer.”
“I really appreciate when people say to me personally or
send notes of gratitude: "Thanks for your priesthood",
"Thanks for being our pastor." ‘Thanks for answering the
call.’”
“Tell them that they have made a difference in your life.”
“Write them a thank you with a tone of appreciation.”
“Simple notes mean a great deal to priests these days.
Things like notes of appreciation after funerals and
weddings a simple compliment after a well prepared
homily.”
“Being specific helps!”
8. Say Thank You
“Thank the priest for every Mass. Even if you don’t
necessarily like the priest, as the Mass is always about
the presence of Jesus.”
“Even something as simple as saying to the priest after
confession "Thank you for your ministry and I will pray
for you" can mean a great deal.”
“Make a video asking random parishioners one thing
they would like to thank Fr. ____ for.”
9. Give Them a Compliment
“Look for opportunities to compliment priests. Even
ones you don’t particularly like.”
“I always cheer up when someone tells me after Mass,
‘That was a beautiful Mass, Father.’”
10. Look Out for Their Wellbeing
“Encourage priest to take time off.”
11. Save the Drama for Yo Mama
“Avoid and discourage gossip about priests and
parishes.”
“Don’t gossip or criticize, instead offer to help and to
build up. I wonder how many vocations were ruined
when young people hear adults tear down the priest,
usually because of some petty parish dispute.”
12. Let Him Know You Have His Back
“When you witness a situation when someone is being
rude to a priest, let him know that you noticed and
express compassion.”
13. Establish a Relationship
“Don’t tell him what you don’t like if that’s the first time
you’ve bothered to talk to him.”
“Say hello before telling him what’s wrong.”
14. Have Realistic Expectations and Be Helpful
“He’s probably not a plumber, so don’t expect him to fix
the leaky pipe. But definitely do ask him if he knows it’s
leaking.”
“Always assume good will. Offering feedback is helpful,
but criticism and complaint given without humility and
sincere love is draining after a while. “
15. Don’t Be a “Priest Collector”
“Don't think that you have to have the priest over every
Sunday. Don't expect to be the priest's friend - he is
your pastor/assistant and he needs to keep things
professional. Don't brag to fellow parishioners how
"Close you guys are" as then that creates animosity or
jealously - and THAT stresses the priest out.”
16. Be Supportive
“Whenever there is something that is stressful, such as
a difficult time during the parish, I know "reinforcement"
is appreciated. I haven't had much of that in my first 5
years (yet) but I recall some tremendously difficult
funerals where people sent a nice note. I recall
discovering a stash of notes here at St. Mary's from 23
years ago when the school closed. The newspapers and
some very vocal but few people were out for the pastor,
using attacks of "racist" and "uncaring." The pastor,
then, saved all the dozens of notes from people offering
to him their understanding at the difficult decision he
made.”
17. Give Him Space
“Sometimes it's good to be just left alone, too. Stay
away from what is called "unkind kindness" which is
assuming Father is (Lonely, depressed, stressed,
anxious, etc) when sometimes he needs to just blow off
some steam.”
18. Invite Him Over
“It's nice when people think to invite me to family
gatherings: special birthdays or anniversary
celebrations, holiday dinners (even though I usually
decline because I'm with my own family -- it's nice to
be invited).”
19. Strive for Holiness
“Ultimately, being the saint God desires them to be!
There’s nothing more exciting for a priest than
witnessing holiness in the lives of the people to whom
he ministers; not only is that an experience of grace
that his labor is bearing fruit but it’s also tremendously
edifying in his own pursuit of holiness.”
I hope this list has inspired you to do something for
your priest. Remember, each priest has his own
preferences and ways that make him feel appreciated.
Some may really like being invited over for dinner, while
other priests may recharge with a quiet dinner alone in
the rectory. Every priest I contacted mentioned a well-
thought, meaningful letter or card mentioning specific
ways he helped you. Maybe that’s a great place to
start. No matter what you do, let’s make sure we let our
priests know just how much we care for them.
Feel free to add additional ways or creative takes on the
above in the comments. All you priests out there, let us
know what you like!
www.focus.org/blog/posts/19-ways-to-let-your-parish-priest-know-you-appreciate-him.html
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