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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Literature / Poems For Review / A Rose In A Desert (710 Views)
Desert Trees / For A Desert Falcon / That Voice In The Desert. (2) (3) (4)
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A Rose In A Desert by waali(m): 10:03am On Mar 24, 2015 |
Note: this is my first poem am not a student of English language so constructive criticisms are welcome. A rose in a desert In a desert of roses, It seems to be an illusion, You hunts for it today, Tomorrow it hunts for you, Over a dry plane, Thought all hope was lost, I did lost the taste, But yawned for more, Then like a pregnancy to a barren woman, As a light in the dark, The appearance of my need, A rose close close by, A colourful rose, With a sap of beauty, So tempting to touch, It was indeed a smile of beauty. Please your corrections and suggestions will be of help |
Re: A Rose In A Desert by GIYAZZ(m): 12:05pm On Mar 24, 2015 |
Nice poem for a starter. Texanomaly, Timpaker, Laykorn, Jigsawkillah over to you! ![]() |
Re: A Rose In A Desert by noble4d(m): 7:14pm On Apr 06, 2015 |
waali: Hi waali, you write well,but still not without little flaws. e.g in your first verse: You hunt for it today, Tomorrow it hunt for you. You need to put more effort, make your audience feel the groove. I mean, make your messages be plain. Just don't start, know where u r heading to. Take note of punctuations, keep on reading and writing them, you'll surely be a wonderful poet. Noblecares. 2 Likes |
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