Episode 1

They are two friends, not best friends, they
went to school together, did NYSC together,
now they are looking for job together, and
has gotten a job together. What they don't
do? They don't go to toilet together. They
don't share the same woman together.
Their names are, Ofego and Shobowale.
It all began when they were living together
after their NYSC and job employment.
Wait, I just said it all began when they were
living together after their NYSC and job
employment. Did it actually began then? No,
it has been in his blood, being wicked to his
girlfriends on weekends.
That saturday morning they were jogging
round the estate were they lived together.
Shobowale's eyes caught something, the
thing was putting on a tight sport trunk,
and exercising at the other lane. It was a
girl, a beautiful one, very beautiful, the one
the white man calls a damsel. Wow! Wow!
Wow! Ofego look at what I'm seeing, my
dream girl. Where is she? Ofego asked
looking at the old woman practicing kung
fu by the roadside.
You must be joking! You mean that old
woman that is old enough to be your great
grandmother is your dream girl? Ofego
asked. No, look at her there! The one
exercising at the other side. Shobowale
pointed out.
Wow! She looks like my mum, when she
was young. Ofego said. Do you know her?
He asked. No! Shobowale replied. But I want
to know her. Ofego, you know my
condition, can you help me out. Do you like
her? Ofego asked. Yes! Shobowale replied.
Okay, I will help you get her. When you are
ready for marriage. Ofego said. Help me get
her now! Shobowale ordered. Okay, I'm
coming. Ofego said and jogged up to her at
the other side.
Hello Angel! Hi! She replied coldly, and
continued exercising. Do you know what?
Ofego asked. What is what? She asked with
her sweet melodious voice looking up at
Ofego. What, is that, I want to tell you
something. What is it? She asked. My friend
over there likes you. Ofego said. I don't like
him. She said. It is you that I like.
Minutes later Ofego was back to Shobowale.
What did she say? Shobowale asked.

From http://njuwo.com

Episode 2 on the way.

Episode 2

Lovingtime, for that was the girl's name
stopped exercising and ran into the house.
She went to her elder sister in the kitchen
with the feeling of happiness. Maryjane!
Maryjane! Yes, Lovingtime, what is it?
Maryjane asked. I saw him! I saw him!
Lovingtime said. And I told him. You saw
who? Maryjane asked. The guy I am
crushing on. He came to me while I was
outside exercising, and I told him. I can't
believe I told him, and he smiled about it.
Wow! Maryjane asked, where is he now, I
have to see him, is he still there? Yeah, they
are. Lovingtime replied. They are? They are
many? Maryjane asked. No, they are two but
I'm only crushing on one. Come on, let me
show you before they leave. Let's go to the
window in the parlour.
Lovingtime took her sister Maryjane to the
window in the parlour. They put aside the
curtain and spied on Ofego and his friend
Shobowale, who were there talking. That's
him, the one putting on a green t-shirt and
a black knicker. Ever since they move into
the neighbourhood, I've been crushing on
him. Lovingtime confessed. You told me
before. Maryjane said. Isn't he cute?
Lovingtime asked. Wow! Maryjane
marvelled. He's not only cute but looks like a
chimp. What's a chimp? Lovingtime asked. A
chimpanzee. Maryjane replied. You are
crazy! Lovingtime said giving her a push.
So she doesn't like me but you, okay.
Shobowale consoled himself. Let me see
how you will have her. What? Ofego asked.
I'm just joking. Shobowale said. You can go
ahead and have her, I still have Rose, you
were even the one that won her for me, I'm
just being greedy.
Just a week later Shobowale was promoted
at work and was given a house. He moved
out of the house and Ofego started living
alone.
The following saturday morning Ofego
intentionally jogged pass Lovingtime's place
of residence hoping to see her exercising
as usual but unluckily for him he saw her
and her sister MaryJane exercising. He was
shy but gathered courage and approached
them saying, Hi Ladies! Have you seen my
grandma, she practices kung fu every
saturday morning on this road. You mean
that woman? Maryjane pointed at the old
woman by the side of the road practicing
kung fu. No, Ofego said, I mean, you! And
they all laughed. Anyway, he said, can I join
you girls in exercising. Erm. Maryjane
stressed. Yes, oh yes, you can. Lovingtime
said. So who is going to teach me, I don't
know how to exercise. I will! Maryjane said.
No, no, no, I will! Lovingtime said dragging
Ofego. Come, let me teach you. She said.
Maryjane stared. Do you know yoga? No!
Ofego replied. I'll teach you yoga.
Lovingtime said. You won't like it! Maryjane
warned. By the time she finish teaching
you, you will be going to work with just a
tooth and a leg, apparently a borrowed one.
Let me see how it turns out to be! Ofego
said.
Maryjane! Their mummy called, and
Maryjane left, into the house. Is that your
mum's voice? Ofego asked. Yeah, do you
like it? Lovingtime asked. Uhm, yeah, I do. It
reminds me of my Boss' own. Ofego replied.
Is your boss a female? Lovingtime asked.
No, a man. Ofego replied.
Lovingtime! Her mum's voice called,
approaching. Yours will be better when you
get to your mum's age. Ofego said. Lunch,
3pm, today, First Date Restaurant! See you
there! And he took to his heels. Okay!
Lovingtime said staring at the dusts he left
behind.
Lovingtime who were you talking to? Her
mum came. Myself! Lovingtime replied. I
was practicing speech development.
3pm Lovingtime waited for Ofego at the
restaurant, there was no sign of him
coming. She came out to continue waiting
for him, it was 4 already he hadn't come.
She looked around, and saw someone that
looked like him, paying off a taxi, she
couldn't wait for him to come and ran to
hug the person, It was her uncle.
Lovingtime, what are you doing here? He
asked.

Culled from http://njuwo.com check for other comic stories.

Next, is, Episode 3

Episode 3

The next saturday Ofego was jogging as
usual. He knew he had disappointed
Lovingtime the last saturday. All through the
week he thought of a way to see her but
work couldn't allow him not even work sef
Lovingtime is not that outside on weekdays.
He thought of calling but remembered he
hasn't collected her number. As he was
jogging, he intentionally jogged pass front
of their compound, and was lucky to see
her exercising outside. Hello Angel, come
here! He said approaching her, wanting a
hug. Don't come near me! She warned. You
disgust me!
Ofego came. How? He asked.
Don't you know the stunt you played out
last saturday. You told me to come and wait
for you at First Date Restaurant, 3pm, you
said, I came, waited, and was even caught
by my uncle, If not that I lied my way out I
would have been a working corpse by now
and you want me to just hug you as if
nothing happened? I tried calling, to
apologise. Ofego said. What did you tried
calling, when you don't even have my
number? She asked. I realised that, and
stopped calling. Actually, something came
up, I had to go watch a football match, It
was a London derby, Chelsea versus
Arsenal, a cracker. Ofego explained. So, a
football match is more important than our
first date, I see! It's not that it is more
important than our first date, it's just that I
had to watch it. Ofego explained. Okay, is
that how you live your life? She asked. Live
my life as how? Ofego asked. Watching
football on weekends! She said. No o. Ofego
said. I do jogging too. Give me a kiss! She
said tapping her left hand at her left cheek.
In this open area? Ofego asked. Yes. She
said. That's the only way I can forgive you.
Okay. Ofego said. He looked around, there
was no one in sight, only the old woman
practicing kung fu in front of her
compound. Ofego closed his eyes and gave
her a kiss. The woman laughed and
screamed, My son you are too much, come
and give me my own too.
Don't mind her! Lovingtime said. I'm not
minding her. Ofego assured. Why did you
close your eyes? She asked. So that I can
feel my first kiss. Is this actually your first
kiss? She asked wanting to feel on top of
the world if it is. No, it is my first kiss to you.
Ofego said. So, you've kissed countless of
women before? She asked feeling jealous.
No, you are the second, the first was a little
baby, my kid brother when he was born.
Ofego said.
Wow! She exclaimed. So can you take me
out today, since you disappointed me last
saturday. Where do you want to go? Ofego
asked. A fast food joint. She said. Possibly,
Mr Biggs or Tanterlizers. No, I'll take you to
a Mama Put Joint, possibly Mama Nkechi or
Mama Iyabo. Fast food joints are too cost
and don't fill tummy but Mama Put joints
are cheap, and fills tummy. Ofego said.
But they are dirty, unkept, and smelling. She
said. Eh? Don't say that again o. Ofego said.
That's where I take my lunch, dinner and
breakfast. So you don't cook? She asked.
No, I don't. He said. I don't know how to. I
am hoping if I get married to you, you will
be of help. Who is talking about marriage
now, you are taking me to a fast food joint
today whether you like it or not.
Is it by force? Ofego asked. If you want me
to continue loving you, it is by force. She
said.
You are one hell of a controlling partner.
Ofego said. Okay, I'll take you, but not Mr
Biggs or Tanterlizers but a new fast food
joint in town.
Wow! She kissed him and ran inside to
break the news to her sister Maryjane, and
came back. So when are we going, it must
be today, what time? She asked. Uhm, 1pm,
cause there is a match by 4. Let me have
your number so that I'll call you on where
to meet me and pick you up. Ofego said.
Where to meet me? Meet me here, pick me
here, take me from here. Haven't you
already made here, your regular joint to
meet me. So, meet me here. Okay, I'll meet
you here, and we'll go from here. Ofego
said.
You are not even ashamed, you don't even
have your supposed lover's phone number,
give me your phone jor. She said and
snatched the phone from Ofego and typed
her phone number and saved it. I already
have yours! She informed. How? And you've
not been calling? Ofego asked.
Girls don't call, it's guys that call. She said.
This girl is something else. Ofego thought.
And who told you that? He asked. My elder
sister, Maryjane. The one that I saw that
day? He asked. Yes! She said. Hmm! He
quipped. Let me run along.
Okay! She said, and he left.

Culled from http://njuwo.com check for other comic stories.

Episode 5, next.

Episode 4
Who was that you were talking to?
Maryjane asked when Lovingtime got
back inside. You were spying on us?
Lovingtime asked. No,I was
watching over you and that's what big
sisters are expected to do.
Maryjane said. Eh-hen, anyway, it was my
boyfriend. Your boyfriend?
When did you start having boyfriends?
Lovingtime corrected, Boyfriend!
Not boyfriends. So what's his name?
Lovingtime replied, Ofego na, the
guy you met with me outside the other day,
the one I told you I had
been crushing on. So you finally gave
yourself cheaply to him, he
won't value you. Maryjane assured. Leave
that burden for me to carry
big sister, don't spoil my happy mood for
me with your spoilers, wow,
I'm so happy he finally collected my number,
and we are going out on a
date today, this afternoon. What happened
to the date you had with him
last saturday. Maryjane asked. I told you na,
it didn't work out.
Lovingtime said. And what is the assurance
that this one will work out
today. Maryjane asked. Lovingtime replied, It
will, he's picking me up
here and we will go together, I can't believe
I first my big sister to
have a boyfriend and the excitement of all
is, my first boyfriend is
my crush, what a dream come true.
Maryjane warned, It's not by having
him and celebrating Lovingtime, is by
keeping him and making him stay,
you don't know men. Talk to me Preacher.
Lovingtime said. And
moreover, Maryjane added, I guess he
didn't ask you out before you
started addressing him as your boyfriend,
kid sister be wise. That
should be my problem and not yours.
Lovingtime pointed. Okay, anyway,
can I come with you? Maryjane asked. To
where? Lovingtime asked. To
the date, to help you study him. No big
sister, I'll study him myself,
thanks for your concern. Lovingtime said
going towards her room. This
girl is becoming something else! Maryjane
quipped. Because she first
me have a boyfriend now, she can brag
about it. Anyway, I don't blame
her. She said and continued cleaning the
chairs.
Later in the afternoon around 1 Lovingtime
stood in front of their
gate waiting for Ofego while Maryjane hid
behind a curtain upstairs in
her room watching. Where are you? She
called. Are you no longer
coming? I am! I'm in traffic. Ofego said. Are
you driving? She asked.
No, I'm on foot! He said.
Funny you, hurry up, the sun is killing me
here and I don't want my
parents to come back now from the
wedding ceremony to meet me here,
they'll just kill me. They won't! Ofego said.
I'm already here! There
you are, I can see you. They both ended the
call. And Ofego got to her
and hugged her. You are sweating. She
said. I jogged. Ofego replied.
Even in the afternoon? She asked. Yeah, let's
go! He said. Aren't we
taking a cab, I have the red cab phone
numbers, I can call and order
for one now, to come pick us up here. She
said. No! Ofego replied.
Why? She asked. Cabs are too cost, even if I
have the money, I can't
spend it on them when I know there's an
alternative. Ofego said. And
what's that alternative? Lovingtime asked. A
tricycle, Ofego replied,
we are taking a tricycle. I can't ride on that
shit with you.
Lovingtime said. You have to o! Ofego said.
They are cheap and the
money I'm supposed to use on a cab will be
saved and maybe used in
buying ice cream for you. Ice cream! She
exclaimed. I love Ice creams!
Okay, I'll take the tricycle (keke napep) with
you since you will be
buying me Ice Creams. Ice cream! Ofego
corrected. Not Ice creams. Uhm,
anyway, they are all the same, aren't they?
She asked. Let's go, when
we get there we shall know! Ofego replied,
and they both walked on.
Still spying, Maryjane said to herself, He's
cute! But ugly in the
face. What was I even staring at?
Mtteeeeeew! She hissed and freed the
curtain.
As they stood on the bus stop waiting for a
tricycle (keke napep)
Lovingtime asked, Ofego, hope you've not
forgotten where you are
taking me to o? No, I've not, Isn't it the new
fast food joint I told
you about this morning. Yes, it is. She
replied. Where is it located?
It's not too far from here. Ofego said.
Where exactly is it? She
asked. It's in Ajah! Oh Ajah, okay.
A tricycle (keke napep) came and they took
it.
As they got down at Ajah an Ice cream man
was passing by with his
bicycle and Ofego called, Ice cream, come!
Give me 5 Naira own. I
don't sell 5 Naira own. He said. Which one
do you sell? Ofego asked.
20 Naira own, 30, 50, 80, 150. Give me 20
Naira own. Ofego said. Oga
take! He said. Cut it! Ofego said. Oga, this is
it. He handed it to
him. Ofego collected it and handed it over
to Lovingtime. What is
this? She asked, shocked. Collect it first na!
Ofego said. She
collected it and he paid the Ice cream man
off. Ofego, I ask again,
what is this? She asked again. Taste it first
na! Ofego said. She
tasted it. What does it taste as? He asked.
Ice cream! She replied.
The one I told you I may buy for you. Ofego
said.

Episode 5
She started talking, Ofego you are stupid,
you are a village man, you
are an uncivilized cow, is this is ice cream?
This is yoghurt! You
don't even know the difference between
ayoghurt and an ice cream and
you call yourself a man. Are they not all the
same, if you don't want
to lick, give it back to me. Just because I
bought an appertizer for
you before the main event which is the fast
food ice cream, you are
insulting me, I don't blame you, it's the love
that I have for you I
blame.
Ofego started walking. She went after him.
Uhm, Ofego, I'm sorry, you
did not tell me this is an appertizer, I would
have gladly licked it
without complaining. I'm sorry, so where
are we going now? To the fast
food joint! Ofego replied. Okay! She said
and gave him a kiss in the
full glare of the public and cleaned the spot
with her right hand, he
was shy. So what are you buying for me at
the fast food joint? She
asked. Anything you asked for! He said.
They got to the fast food joint. This is it!
Ofego said. The new fast
food joint in town. Lovingtime stared in
wonder at the surrounding,
even the sign board, Mama Iyabo Fast Food
Joint. Dealers of all kinds
of fast food ranging from, fast rice, fast
beans, fast banga soup,
fast eba, fast plantain, fast yam and fast
stew and so on. Are you
sure this is the place? Lovingtime asked.
Yes, this is it! Ofego said.
Come, let's go inside!
And they went in and sat down. What
would you like to take? A dirty
maid approached them. What's this?
Lovingtime asked. It's the
waitress! Ofego said and told her to order
anything. She asked, Do you
have fried rice and chicken? The maid
replied, Yes, we have fast fried
rice and fast chicken. How about ice cream?
She asked. Yes, we have
fast ice cream. The maid said. Lovingtime
said, Okay, bring them for
me, that's what I want to take. How about
you? The maid asked Ofego.
Nothing! He replied. Just get what she
ordered, for her. The maid went
to get them.
Why don't you want to take anything?
Lovingtime asked Ofego. He
replied, Today is a special day for you that's
why. I dedicate today
to you. The money I brought is specially for
you to eat alone, I have
already filled my tummy before coming.
Okay! Lovingtime said. This is
it ma! The maid came with the items
Lovingtime ordered and placed them
on the table. What is this? Lovingtime
screamed. Your fast fried rice,
fast chicken and fast ice cream ma. The
maid said. Ofego what is this?
Lovingtime asked. Eat your food! Ofego
said. Looking at the plates,
placed on them, were an uncooked rice that
was mixed with groundnut
oil, a living chicken, and a cream that was
placed on ice. Oh my God,
what is this? Lovingtime screamed. Ma, this
is what you ordered for!
And this is a fast food joint, every food here
is prepared fast!
Enjoy, your meal! The maid explained. You
are mad! Lovingtime
screamed. Thank you maid for the
explanation. Ofego said. Please
Lovingtime, eat your food, I am not here to
waste money o, I am here
to feed you. Ofego you are stupid! She
screamed. Is this what you call
a fast food joint? Then you must be mad!
WATCHOUT FOR EPISODE 6

Episode 7
Lovingtime rushed outside saying, I can't
stand this anymore. Ofego went after her.
Come and eat your food na, it will get cold
o.
Outside, he held her and asked, Where are
you going? Home! She said. Why? He asked.
You brought me here to humiliate me. I told
you to take me to a fast food joint and you
brought me here to this shrine calling it a
fast food joint aren't you ashamed of
yourself? She asked. Why should I? He said.
Is it not here that I have been eating my
lunch and dinner. The new fast food joint in
town, the best in town. The best indeed!
She exclaimed. Take me home jor! I can't
stand this disgusting atmosphere. What
about the food? My money will waste just
like that? Ofego asked. You brought it upon
yourself. She said. Okay, wait here! Let me
go and pay and come back. He went in to
pay for the food and they left there.
I have a match to watch! Ofego said as they
walked. Just take me home. She said. I'm
not in the mood for talk now. You've fallen
my hand. Okay, since you want to go home,
let me take you to my home. Ofego
suggested. So that you will humiliate me the
more abi. Just take me to my own home. I
am disappointed in you. You claim to love
me this is the best you could offer for a first
date. She said. Yes, I love you that's why I
brought you here to the best fast food joint
in town na, did I do bad? Just take me
home. She said. I need to settle down and
think. To think of stop loving me? He asked.
To think of where this relationship will
head to since you've started taking it as a
joke at the early stage. Take me home! She
said dragging him along. Okay, I'm not
going home now sha, I want to go to the
viewing centre and watch the London
derby, we'll see next weekend! He said and
called, Bicycle! Come and take her home!
The bicycle rider stopped in front of them. A
bicycle to take me home? She asked in
surprise. Yes! Ofego said. I just paid for the
food you made me buy and you didn't eat
it. The money on me now wouldn't be
enough for a taxi nor a motorcycle so you
will have to take a bicycle. You are a fool!
She said in front of him. Never mind, I'll
walk home! And she walked away.
Ofego said, Bicycle, take me to viewing
centre. He entered and they rode pass
Lovingtime on the way. Ofego said on top
of the bicycle, I am on top of Bicycle
enjoying and you are trekking under this
hot sun sweating, I give you one last
chance, bicycle stop, let her come and join
me. The Bicycle stopped. Sitting on top of it,
Ofego said, Come and join me! Lovingtime
landed him a hot slap on his face and said,
Miserable thing! And she walked away.
Ofego, trying not to cry said, I forgive you,
because of love, bicycle, go! And they rode
off.

Episode 8
When Lovingtime got home, her big sister
Maryjane asked her how the date went. She
just flipped into a nearby chair and
explained everything to her.
So you mean, that guy took you to that kind
of place? He is so romantic! Maryjane
exclaimed. What is romantic there? If you
call that romantic then big sis, you need to
get a brain check. Lovingtime said.
Shaaa!!! Shhh!! I'm your big sis, don't say
that to me again, I was actually joking. So
that was the humiliation he gave to you.
Yes! Lovingtime replied. And to think that I
was already falling for him! Maryjane
confessed. You are already what? Big sis,
tell me something! So you had it in mind to
snatch him away from me because I first
you to have a boyfriend. You can go and
snatch him now, the road is clear. Who
would even want a local champion for a
boyfriend? I rather date a dog than him.
Maryjane said. I advice you big sis, don't go
there! You wouldn't even bear what he will
do to you! Lovingtime informed. Maryjane
said, I know, but he's cute sha, what more
does a girl want? So much more!
Lovingtime said. It's not all about cuteness.
But cuteness comes first you know!
Maryjane said. You should manage him till a
better guy comes!
Manage fire? I rather manage a goat than
him. Remember he was your crush for a
long time! To say the truth Lovingtime, i like
him, you should have him, or, I'll take him o!
Take fire? I don't want to have him and you
should not have him big sis he is so
embarrassing and a joker! Wow! A joker?
That's what i love about guys! You should
have him or i will o! Maryjane got up. I
wouldn't have him, you can go ahead and
have him, that disgraceful human being!
Lovingtime said. Have who? Mum screamed
from the sitting room. Okay! Maryjane said.
Have dad, mum! They both screamed. You
two have started again! Mum said. Go and
look for your husbands and leave my own
for me o! They all laughed.
The next saturday, Ofego was jogging pass
them Lovingtime's house but didn't see her
outside as usual, he only saw Maryjane
doing what Lovingtime usually does in front
of their house every saturday morning,
exercising!
And when did you start doing this? Ofego
approached her. The day I started loving
you! She replied. You are funny! Ofego said,
stretching his hand for an handshake, Hi!
He said. Hi! She replied. Uhm, where's your
sister Lovingtime. He asked. She replied,
She's inside and doesn't want to see you
anymore, she said you humiliated her the
last time you saw each other. She calls that
humiliation? I was just trying to be loving!
Ofego said. She doesn't sees it like that!
Maryjane said. Can you call her for me? He
asked. Only if you promise to give me a kiss
if i call her for you! Maryjane said. A kiss?
For what? Ofego asked, surprised. He
thought in his heart, this girls are spoilt, i
must repair them!

Episode 9
Okay! A kiss you will get, call her for me!
Ofego said. Alright! Maryjane said and went
in to call Lovingtime.
Lovingtime! Maryjane walked into
Lovingtime's room. Lovingtime! She called.
What is it? Lovingtime asked, getting up
from her bed! Your boyfriend is calling you!
Who? How many boyfriends do you have?
Maryjane asked. If it's that detestful Ofego
tell him I'm unavailable, I'm switched off,
that he should not bother me again,
inshort, it's over between us! I hope you
recorded all what I just said with your
phone so that when you get back to him
you can play it for him, stupid! Lovingtime
concluded! I'm I the one stupid, or?
Maryjane asked. No, he's the one! But
Lovingtime, aren't you a bit too harsh on
him, remember he was your crush. You
didn't know him, you crushed on him, now,
you've known him! Can't you accept him for
who he is! Accept him for who he is, who is
he? Lovingtime asked. Maryjane replied,
Your crush! That was before I got to know
him now, I've known him, it's over between
us! Should I tell him that? Maryjane asked.
Yes, tell him that and don't forget to add I
don't want to see him in my life anymore,
he should bother me no more! But, he
promised me a kiss if i, if i erm bring you to
him, little sis, this is my chance, don't ruin
this for me, please! Maryjane begged. A
kiss? As what? Lovingtime asked. As the
reward for calling you to him, that's if you
meet him now! But I don't like him
anymore big sis! Even if you don't, just go
meet him let me receive my kiss.
For you! Big sis, I'm doing this! But it's over
between us. Lovingtime stood her ground.
Maryjane adviced, When you get there, tell
him that, on his face, and tell him that
you've given me the go ahead to take over
from you. No, big sis! Lovingtime said. I'm
going to warn him to desist from the two
of us!
Lovingtime climbed downstairs, outside, to
meet Ofego. Maryjane went with her. So,
why are you here? What do you want from
me? Want to humiliate me the more?
Lovingtime asked. Maryjane handed
Lovingtime her camera phone, Take, little
sis, snap us when he kisses me. She
approached Ofego, Before anything, my
kiss! She requested. As Ofego kissed her on
the hand, Lovingtime snapped them.
I repeat, So, why are you here? What do you
want from me? Want to humiliate me the
more? Lovingtime asked again. Uhm, I'm
here to apologise, I didn't know you
preferred Mama Food Joint to Fast Food
Joint, I'm here to take you to mama put
joint to off set your sorrow! He said. What
nonsense! Lovingtime screamed. You are
really mad! What's wrong with what he just
said little sis? Maryjane asked. Everything!
Lovingtime said and ordered, Ofego, before
I close my eyes and open it, get out of my
house! This is not your house, this is the
entrance to your father's house. Ofego
corrected.

Episode 10
Okay, get out of the entrance to my father's
house. Lovingtime said. Alright, I should get
out of the entrance to your father's house
into your father's house shey? Ofego asked.
No! She said. Just leave, I don't want to see
you, I don't want to see anything about
you, just leave! Lovingtime, what is wrong
with you? Maryjane asked. He is wrong with
me, let him leave! Lovingtime said. Okay!
Ofego said. So, Lovingtime, you mean you
have broken up with me just because i
prooved my love to you. Yes, I have broken
up with you, get out, rubbish! She said.
And I'm free to date someone else? He
asked. If you wish! She said. Maryjane? He
called. Can i take you out on a date? Wow!
This is cool! Maryjane exclaimed. I can't
believe he just asked me out on a date, yes,
yes, yes!!! But not my sister! Lovingtime
added.
Come on little sis, since you don't want to
date him anymore, let me! Maryjane
pleaded. And who told you i don't want to
date him anymore? Lovingtime asked. But
you just broke up with him na! Maryjane
said. I didn't! Lovingtime said, and
explained, You see, in a relationship, there's
always a quarrelling period and that's when
one partner angers the other, that is where
we are now! I just want to be left alone, I
will call him back. When? Ofego asked. Now!
She said. Come on! And she hugged him
saying, Don't try that rubbish on me again,
taking me to a rejected fast food joint. Okay,
Angel, I won't anymore! Ofego said, and
asked, But can i just date the two of you
now incase one Bleep up i will be left with
the other for the time being? You are
insane! They pushed Ofego on the floor and
walked inside.

All culled from http://njuwo.com

Episode 11
All through the following week after work
in the evenings Ofego kept surveillance of
them Lovingtime's house. Waiting, if any of
the girls would come out. He was ready to
ask for real forgiveness and promise to
change for Lovingtime, who he now sees in
his dreams.
Monday evening, no Lovingtime. Tuesday
evening, no Maryjane to bribe to call
Lovingtime. Wednesday evening no
Lovingtime. Thursday evening no
Lovingtime.
Friday afternoon, he was coming back from
work and decided to pass through them
Lovingtime side. They had closed from work
early because saturday was election. As he
was passing by the front of the house, he
saw a woman, Lovingtime's mum about to
go inside, and ran down to her.
Excuse me Ma, is Lovingtime at home? He
asked. Who are you? She asked after staring
at him from head to toe. I am Lovingtime's
teacher in school. He said. Lovingtime is not
in school. Lie detected by the mum. When i
say school ma, i mean the JAMB lesson she
attended, i am her teacher there. I want to
put her through some things concerning
the upcoming post u.m.e. Ofego corrected.
Oh, she said, i am sorry but Lovingtime
didn't take JAMB. You are actually looking
for Maryjane not Lovingtime and it seems
the names are confusing you cause
Lovingtime used to accompany Maryjane to
her JAMB lectures. Yes, ma! Ofego said
amidst fear. She continued, Well, Maryjane is
not at home. Since Lovingtime used to
accompany Maryjane to her Jamb Lectures,
she might know you, so, i'll call her so you
can drop your message for Maryjane with
her. Okay ma, thank you ma! Ofego said.
As she was about to walk in, she asked, By
the way, what is your name? Ofego! He
said. Ofego! Nice name. From where? She
asked. Delta state! He replied. You look too
handsome and younger to be just a teacher
to my daughter. She said and walked in.
Wow! Ofego said to himself. She almost
found me out. Thank God she didn't. Let her
call her for me let me beg my love back jor.
It seems this their mother is already liking
me sef o. This one that she is saying i look
too handsome and younger to be just a
teacher to her daughter. Anyway, let her call
her for me let me settle this matter once
and for all before frog starts jumping.
You again? Lovingtime came out of the gate
and asked. Yes, it's me again o. Ofego said.
Get out of my father's house now! She
ordered. I am not in your father's house na.
Ofego said. I am on the road. Please,
Lovingtime, for God sake let us stop all this
childish behaviour, it wouldn't take us
anywhere. I am here to plead with you to
forgive me and accept me back. I am a
changed man now. I apologise for all the
wrongs that i did you. This past days i have
not been able to sleep well. It is not that i
don't sleep o. I sleep, but not well. I sleep
only in the day time. When i want to sleep in
the night i will just be seeing your face.
Lovingtime through this i have realised that
it is you that i love. The other day i was just
joking about your sister Maryjane, i didn't
mean it. Please, forgive me, and come back,
i need you.
Come back to your house? Was i living with
you before? Lovingtime asked. No, not
come back to my house. Ofego said. Come
back to my heart. Without you, it is empty,
please, come back. Ofego said crying
crocodile tears mix with village dog tears.
She was moved and helped him to wipe off
the tears which he made out by rubbing
rob on his face when she was not looking.
I forgive you! She said. And i love you! It's
just that the way you do things turns me
off. I pray you have really changed for good.
I have changed. Ofego said. All those things
that i did wouldn't repeat themselves again
unless i repeat them which i know i
wouldn't as you've taken me back so.
Ofego, just as you haven't been able to
concentrate this past days, likewise me too.
I have been standing here every morning
waiting for you to come and beg like you
do whenever you wronged me since we
started this relationship. Come here! She
said. As he came and she hugged him. So
where are you taking me to for our make
up date? She asked after kissing him on his
lips. It is a surprise! He said. Tomorrow,
saturday morning, 10am. Okay, if you say
so. Who i'm i to object. You are the head
and i'm the tail. Your word is my bond. She
said.
The next day which was saturday, Ofego
took Lovingtime on the make up date to an
election ground and said, This is the best
place for a make up date, only if you have
your PVC with you, like i do.
Lovingtime hissed and landed him a slap,
and he collaspsed.
Episode 12, Next!

Culled from my blog http://www.njuwo.com

making sense

Having read through thoroughly, I've come to the realisation that you really need to do a lot of work.
1. Work on grammar
2. WORK on style
3
Join Writers Checkmate we train writers

Divepen1:
Having read through thoroughly, I've come to the realisation that you really need to do a lot of work.
1. Work on grammar
2. WORK on style
3
Join Writers Checkmate we train writers

Let's start with 1 and 2 before 3. Can i get an highlight to work on grammer and style?

Episode 12

Ofego got up from the ground and explained to Lovingtime that he had brought her on a date to the election ground to exercise her civil right which is voting for her rightful candidate. You know you've been complaining to me about the situation of the country and you said you need change. So i thought of this and today i brought you to pick the change you clamour for. He said. Oh darling i'm sorry, i didn't know you mean well by bringing me here on a date. I'm sorry for hitting you, now i know better. She said, and added, Hope the hit did not pain you? It pained me. How can that hit not pain me, i'm i iron man? He asked. I'm sorry na. Let me go and vote. She said and went to vote.

After voting, they left. He took her home on a tricycle, not his own o. A public one. Arriving at their gate, she came out, and he said, Here you are! Thank you! She replied, and was about walking towards their gate when he jumped out of the tricycle and blocked her. Can we do this again? He asked. Uhm, when? And where? She retorted. At my place, tomorrow. I'll come pick you up. He said. But tomorrow is sunday na. I'm a praise leader at my church o. She explained. I understand! After service it will be. When do you close? He asked. 3pm! She said. Ahn, ahn. He complained. Is it everyday you people do deliverance service? He asked, surprised. It is not deliverance service. It's just service. That's when we close, i'm an anglican. She said. Oga, collect the number by force make we dey go na, time na money o. The tricycle driver said, worried of the delay and tired of Ofego's long epistle with Lovingtime. Erm, okay, i'll come pick you up at 3:30pm tomorrow, to my place, alright, see you. Ofego said. Wait! She called out, as he walked away. What? He stopped. You forgot something. She said. What did i forget? He asked. You forgot to kiss me goodnight. She said. Oh, i'm sorry, take your goodnight kiss. He kissed her, and jumped back into the tricycle apologising to the driver.

She smiled as she watched as the tricycle sped away with the wind it blew. I must change this man. She said and walked to their gate.

Ofego picked Lovingtime from their place the next day which was sunday at 4pm and took her to his place, which was not far from theirs.

You are welcome to my humble home. It is not that humble but it is manageable. He said as they walked in. Please relax and feel free. When i say feel free it doesn't mean you should touch anything you see o. Ask before touching, you hear? He said. Okay, can i atleast sit down? She asked. Go ahead! He said. She sat down. You live here all alone? She asked. Yes, i do! How about that guy you used to jog with, that sent you to toast me, at the time i knew you? She asked. Oh, Shobowale! Ofego said. We both live here before. But as we both got employed he decided to relocate. Okay! So where is he now? She asked. What's all these questions na, are you falling for him now, tell me now o, let me back out. Ofego said. No na, she said, i just want to know. Okay, Ofego said, He now lives under bridge to focus more on his new job, wheel barrow pusher. Oh! Okay! She said. I'm hungry! Ofego said. I want you to prepare Oil Beans for me. Ofego said. Is that what you brought me here for? Lovingtime asked. No, i brought you here to sit on my chair and be staring at me. Don't you know that this is how lovers get to know each other more. Or you want to tell me that you don't know how to prepare common oil beans that my 6 months old sister used to prepare for me before she became an adult. Lovingtime said, It's not that i don't know how to prepare it o. I thought you brought me here to make love to me. If na that one you waka far. Ofego said. I brought you here to test your cooking. Hmm, okay! She said. Now, you will have to go to the market to get the ingredients. Let me write everything on paper for you. Ofego said, and went to tear a piece of paper. He came back and asked, Do you have a piece of biro there so? I don't think so. She said. How can you be coming from church without biro. How do you download the Pastor's sermon into your brain? He asked. Must i go to church with a biro? I have a working brain. And by the way, let me remind you, you brought me here from my home, not from the church. She said. Oh, don't mind me. But please check, there must be a biro on that bag. He said. She checked and saw. Take, i managed to see. She said, giving it to him.

He wrote and gave it to her, with 1,000 Naira note. Don't forget to bring back my change o, or, i will riot, screaming, Bring Back My Change!

After reading it, she asked, shocked, Ofego what is this? 4 cups of Beans 120 Naira. Potash 10 Naira. Oil 60 Naira. Plantain 80 Naira. Salt 10 Naira. Onions 10 Naira. Trekking fee, going, Free. Trekking fee, coming back, Free.

Total 290.

You are to return 710 Naira change.

Why is there no transport fare? She asked.

Watch Out For Episode 13

Wow wow i wil really adopt ofebu style. By d way op i lyk ur style

Naturehibrid:
Wow wow i wil really adopt ofego style. By d way op i lyk ur style

Thanks Naturehibrid. You can follow the thread so as not to miss the next update coming.

Being Wicked On Weekends Episode 13

Why i did not put transport fare is that you have legs, use it. Ofego replied. Ofego, why are you this mean? You expect me that you call Angel to trek that far to the market and back. Do Angels even trek? She asked. Yes o, when they've not gotten their wings. Ofego said. I have not married you na, so, you've not gotten your wings. Is that so? She asked. Yes! Ofego replied. We shall see then! She picked up her bag and started leaving. Where are you going? Ofego shouted after her. Where, other than the market. She replied. Don't transport inside the change o. It is my transport to work tomorrow o. Ofego screamed after her.

Fifteen minutes later she was back. You are back so soon? Ofego asked. Do you want me to sleep there? Take your change jare. I'm off to the kitchen to prepare that food you like best. He counted it quickly. Come, come, why is 100 Naira missing in this money that you call change? Ofego stopped her and asked. How much is it? She retorted. This is 610 Naira instead of 710 Naira. Ofego said. Oh, oh, i had to use 100 Naira to settle police going and coming. She explained. Are you the one to settle police or the bike man? He asked. Were you not the one that told me not to use bike but legs so i had to settle police to avoid delay on the road. They were doing their usual roger routine so i had to comply not to end up on their net. She said. But today is sunday na, do police work on sunday? Ofego asked. But today is sunday na, do you eat on sunday? She retorted. You and these policemen have succeeded in making me to trek tomorrow to work. Ofego complained. Good for you. You had wanted to make me trek to the market. She said. That's because it's not that far, do you know where my work is? 7 kilometers away from here. He said. Do you know where the market is? Same 7 kilometers away from here. Have you forgotten the market is close to your office? She asked. Market and work are not the same. You can trek to the market because you are going there to get food to eat. But you cannot trek to work because you are going there to work. If you trek, the strength you are going to use there will be finished before you get there and you will not be able to work. Ofego explained. Which ever way. Let me prepare your food. She left to the kitchen.

An hour and a minute later the food was ready. As Ofego ate, she watched him. Are you sure you don't want to eat? He asked. No, i don't eat in people's house. My mum warned me about it. She said. But you prepared it. Ofego said. Even though. She said.

Let it not be what my mind is telling me o. Ofego stopped eating. What is your mind telling you? She asked. That you put poison in the food. Ofego said. Why should i put poison in the food? She asked. For you to start controlling me na. Ofego said. Controlling you for what? She asked. To do whatever you want me to do cause i know you are not happy with the way i am cause i do things in opposite. He said. Even though i want you to change Ofego. She said. I can't go to that extent of poisoning you cause i know with time you will change when you come to the reality of this modern life. Just eat your food, there's no cause for alarm. She said. Are you sure? Ofego asked. Of course i am. She said smiling.

Watch Out For Episode 14

Being Wicked On Weekends Episode 14

Okay, if you are sure, then i can eat. Ofego said and picked the spoon, dipped it on the food, took some and raised it up, placing the spoon with beans on it in front of his mouth and about to eat. But he asked, Are you sure that you are sure that there is no poison inside this food, because after God, fear girls o. What is wrong with you sef Ofego, give me jor, why will i poison you, my love. She snatched the spoon from him and ate the beans on it. You are now safe now, abi, eat your food jor. I am not only safe but now with peace of mind to eat this food jeje. Ofego said. It is you that will kill your own self. Lovingtime said.

After eating, Lovingtime washed the plate and pot and was about leaving. It's getting late and i'm leaving, my parents will be looking for me by now! She said. Are you a baby that they will be looking for you? Ofego shouted. Yes, i'm a baby, to you, come and escort me jor. She said, dragging Ofego up, from the chair. I would have given you something to give to your sister o. Ofego said. Something like what? She asked. A letter of acceptance! Ofego said. Acceptance of what? She asked, curiously. Acceptance of friendship. She wrote me letter of friendship that she wants to be my friend, so, i want to reply her with letter of acceptance. Ofego said. Ofego, you are mad, i say you are mad. You are dating me you are not satisfied, you still have it in mind to enter my sister. What is wrong with you Ofego, is this how you were born, being wicked on weekends? No o, this not how i was born o. This is how i was baptised. Ofego said. You better stop this, i don't like it. Stop having mind for my sister. She said. Okay, i have stopped. When you get home tell her to stop having mind for me cause i am trying hard not to fall so that i will not hurt you again. Ofego said. Come and escort me jare! She said.

As Ofego was accompanying her home on the road, she said, Ofego, for the first time since we started dating, i have been to your place. When are you coming to my place? So soon? Ofego asked. What is so soon? She asked. The return visit i mean. You know, when a football team goes to play away. And the away team wants to come to the team's home for the return leg, it takes time, so that they will plan well before coming, in order not to lose. Allow me to strategise before returning this visit. Ofego said. What do you want to strategise, and what do you not want to lose. She asked. I am strategising on how to build this our relationship to marriage level, and i don't want to lose you in the process. Ofego said. That's thoughtful of you sha but you won't be needing all that because i'm all yours till Jesus comes. Anyway, i would like you to come keep me company at my parents place next saturday. She said. What about your parents, and your sister Maryjane? Am i coming to keep you all company? Ofego asked. No o, only me. They will all be going to vote that day, you know there will be elections that day, Governorship and the rest, and i don't have voters card, i'm only 17. So i will be staying at home all alone. Wow! Okay, i will be there live and direct, what time? He asked. 8am till 2pm. She replied.

The following saturday, Ofego visited Lovingtime at their house, she was home alone. Ofego arrived as her parents and sister just left to the election ground around 8am. They played cards, ludo game, snapped pictures, cooked and ate indomie, watched telemundo. As they were watching, NEPA took the light, and they sat alone in the parlour. Around 1:30pm Lovingtime who had stripped down to bra and pant started saying, Ofego, my parents and sister will soon come o. My parents and sister will soon come o. She said this continuously. Ofego said, But i am not doing anything na. She replied, That is why i want you to start doing something.

Watch Out For Episode 15

Being Wicked On Weekends Episode 15

Chineke! They are already here o! Ofego said. Where? Lovingtime asked, shocked. Here! Ofego said and ran out, running home. They are not here na, where are you running to? Lovingtime screamed after him. I'm running to my house o! They are here! Ofego replied. Just like that? Come and finish what you have not started o. Lovingtime said to the walls.

The next time they saw each other again was in the evening the sunday after the next sunday when Lovingtime came outside to get recharge cards for her daddy at the mallam's kiosk in the estate. Ofego! She called. What are you doing here? He was sitting down on a bench with a man who was smoking cigarrete. I accompanied my neighbour to come and smoke cigarrete. Ofego replied pointing to the man who sat beside him, smoking. Ofego you tried o, you tried. You deserve an AMAA award for forgetting me ever since that day i invited you to our house. Lovingtime said. Lovingtime, it is not like that. I have been busy. Ofego explained. You have been busy accompanying your neighbour to come and smoke cigarrete here, abi? Lovingtime queried. No na, it's not like that, you wouldn't understand. Ofego answered. Mallam, give me recharge card. Lovingtime said. Fine girl no pimple, which one? The Mallam asked. MTN 1,500. Lovingtime said. Wouldn't you buy for me? Ofego asked. Have you ever bought for me? She queried. But i have taken you out to flex you na. Ofego said. All those your local flexing. Lovingtime said. The Mallam gave her the card and she handed him the money. Have i not taken you out for an international flexing before? Ofego asked. No, you've not, and i don't think you would ever. Anyway, the card is for my daddy. Let me go, before he starts looking for me. She said, and was about leaving. Don't worry, i will take you on an international flexing this coming saturday. Ofego assured. That is what you say, but end up taking me to a Mama Put Joint, where local gin is their juice and pounded yam is their snacks. I'm going home jor. She said. Let me accompany you. Neighbour, i'm coming! Ofego said. Okay! The Neighbour replied and said, Ofego when you have used and dump this one, leave her for me o, let me start from where you stop! It is the cigarrete that is talking don't mind him. Ofego told Lovingtime. Are you sure he is okay? Lovingtime asked. He is not. He is my neighbour. Ofego replied, and they left.

Watch Out For Episode 16

Dialogues should be placed in quotation marks; more so, they should be in new paragraphs: Start with that

Divepen1:
Dialogues should be placed in quotation marks; more so, they should be in new paragraphs: Start with that

Thanks!

njuwo:
Thanks!

you are welcome

Being Wicked On Weekends Episode 16

The next saturday in the afternoon around 1 Ofego was at the front of Lovingtime's family house gate shouting, ''Lovingtime!! I'm here na. Let's go out on the date.'' There was no answer from inside. ''She is not hearing me. This is bad news. Why haven't i collected this girl's phone number? We've been dating for months now and i don't even have her phone number.'' ''Lovingtime o! I'm here to pick you up for the date, answer me na. Why are you stressing my voice? Okay, let me increase the volume of my voice maybe, you are cleaning your ears and cannot hear me unless i increase the volume of my voice. Volume of voice increased, you will hear me now, let's go, Ahhhhhhhhh Lovingtime!!!!!!!!!. The loud voice echoed into the house and shook the house. The small gate was opened. Lovingtime came out. ''Let us go, let us go!'' Ofego said. ''Go where, when you've nearly put me in trouble. Why were you screaming my name? Shouldn't you have whispered it?.'' ''Are you Jesus Christ that will hear me when i whisper your name? You are not na!. Ofego said. ''But i'm your lover. Who do my heart beat for?''. Lovingtime asked. ''You are the owner of your heart, only you know who it beats for, i don't know.'' Ofego said. ''Then you don't love me.'' Lovingtime said. ''For my heart beats for you, you are my love.'' ''Ehen! I thought i was your boyfriend. I never thought i was your lover!''. Ofego said. ''Ofego get sense for once. You shouldn't have been screaming my name. What if my daddy or mummy or the both of them hears you screaming my name and comes out to confront you, what would you have done?''. Lovingtime asked. ''I will shout wrong connection and run away.'' Ofego said. ''Then you will be a coward before their eyes who can't defend his love. What eyes do you think they will look at me with? They will look at me that i'm dating my fellow girl, not only my fellow girl, a coward for that matter.'' Lovingtime said. ''Okay, i'm sorry for screaming your name. You know, since we started dating i don't have your phone number because i didn't woo you through the phone number system.'' ''And you are not ashamed of yourself for not having my phone number.'' Lovingtime queried. ''And you are not ashamed of yourself for not giving it to me without me asking.'' Ofego said. Let's go jor. Before we argue endlessly here and summon the presence of your parents to scatter the plan.'' ''We can't go now.'' Lovingtime said. ''Why?''. Ofego asked. ''I need to make up.'' Lovingtime said. ''Okay, i will wait! Don't spend more than two hours o. Ofego said. ''I will see to that.'' Wait at the back of the fence.'' She said. ''No, i'll wait at the top of the roof.'' Ofego said. ''Suite yourself!'' Lovingtime said, and went back into the house.

As Ofego was waiting, his eyes caught a very beautiful girl across the road. ''What am i seeing?''. He asked himself. ''This is my dream girl, curvy, busty, and sexy in body structure. Where has this girl been that i've not been seeing her in this estate. Maybe, she is new here o. Let me go and book her down before someone else does.'' He said and started running after the girl. ''Hello, hello, Angel, Angel, i did not see you at the annual general meeting in Heaven, what happened? Why did you miss it? Don't you remember me? I was the one that shift for you to sit down at the first annual general meeting in Heaven you attended.'' The girl who was gorgeously dressed did not reply any of his lines. She was just cat walking away as he ran after her and she stared at him awkwardly while she walked.

Lovingtime came out and looked around. She did not see Ofego. ''Where is this dummy now?''. I'm now ready and he's nowhere to be found. Where do i start searching for him now? Is he about to disappoint me today of all days? No o, it can't happen o. Yes, thank God, we just exchanged numbers, let me call him.'' She picked up her phone from her purse and dialed his number. ''Yes, it's ringing! Pick your call useless man!.'' She said.

''You see Angel my phone is ringing, God is calling me to ask me to ask you why you are not replying me!.'' Ofego said to the girl. ''I would have loved to answer the call but you see, i don't want to answer it now. I will answer it when you've replied me so that i will tell God meaningfully that you've agreed to repent and will attend the next annual general meeting in Heaven with me. By the way, my name is Ofego. What's yours?'' He asked. The girl didn't reply him. She just stared at him while she kept walking, and he kept pace with her.

''Why is he not picking his calls? Is it a crime to love a joker. If loving a joker is a crime then i will be sad to go to jail for it o. Pick your calls na Ofego. What is happening to you, or, what has happened to you?.''

''Why is this girl not replying me?'' Ofego asked himself loudly. Two guys at the other side of the road started laughing. ''Why are you two laughing?'' Ofego asked. One of the guys replied, ''We are laughing at
you interviewing a deaf and dumb.'' The
other guy added, ''Who doesn't know this
deaf and dumb daughter of Chief Jungle in
this estate?''.
Watch Out For Episode 17