damiso:


Like seriously who does that... . Over pictures Some women are just too petty.

I feel so sorry for the OP cos I know what an awkward situation it is having to take sides between a spouse and a parent where there was even no actual physical or verbal altercation. Try to get some older people to talk to your mum so your wife can apologise and you draw a line under this episode. Hopefully lessons would have been learnt and boundaries will be drawn.

Nne read the original post
That is where the story is

babyosisi:


You are the same person that told us somewhere else in a case where a man hit the wife that the wife may have been running her mouth
But in this situation the same wife should have run off to cry?
You folks are confusing the heck out of me

What are you talking about?

We are talking mother-child, you are bringing up husband-wife?

Have I ever said it's okay to hit anyone?

moca:

Haba!
Then allow mamma to do the finding.
But mind u,any day wifey decides to grow wing,d whole house will burn.
Not excluding u

Mama doesn't have to do the finding, mama only needs to like and be impressed with the woman her son has found a good thing in.

It may not happen the first time they meet, but for everyone's satisfaction, it better happen before the wedding day. . . even if it means locking both of them inside one room until they can talk about clothes, shoes, or whatever else it is you women like to talk about.

damiso:


Like seriously who does that... . Over pictures Some women are just too petty.

I feel so sorry for the OP cos I know what an awkward situation it is having to take sides between a spouse and a parent where there was even no actual physical or verbal altercation. Try to get some older people to talk to your mum so your wife can apologise and you draw a line under this episode. Hopefully lessons would have been learnt and boundaries will be drawn.

the root cause should be addressed before any genuine reconciliation can take place

crackhaus:

Mama doesn't have to do the finding, mama only needs to like and be impressed with the woman her son has found a good thing in.

It may not happen the first time they meet, but for everyone's satisfaction, it better happen before the wedding day. . . even if it means locking both of them inside one room until they can talk about clothes, shoes, or whatever else it is you women like to talk about.

and if it doesn't happen...would you go ahead and marry?

freecocoa:
This is an example of an exception.

OP's case doesn't sound similar, a MIL who hates you won't get cuddly, you sound like there aren't bad DILS.

Bad MILs are not exceptions, they are in the majority.

I never said op's case is similar or different because the op didn't give us enough information to come to that conclusion. All I'm saying is that, I can't judge her for refusing to give her MIL the pictures until the op answers my questions.

The op explicitly stated that his mother and wife have always had issues, I don;t know where you got the "cuddly" info from.

BTW, read my second post on this thread before you quote me.

blublahd:

alas! That explains alot.
Therefore a (fanatical) feminist is born out of circumstance(s).

Not really! It just goes to show that I was exposed to gender issues as a toddler and I have always had questions.

I have always thought like a feminist, even before I discovered there was a word for people that had the same beliefs as me.

Shollypopzz:


Bad MILs are not exceptions, they are in the majority.

I never said op's case is similar or different because the op didn't give us enough information to come to that conclusion. All I'm saying is that, I can't judge her for refusing to give her MIL the pictures until the op answers my questions.

The op explicitly stated that his mother and wife have always had issues, I don;t know where you got the "cuddly" info from.

BTW, read my second post on this thread before you quote me.

Fair enough.

Btw, I got "cuddly" from the original post, you'd get what cuddly means in this context if you checked.

I'm hoping Mr. Perfectionist is already in bed with Mrs. after getting off the phone with grandma to apologize. Living happily ever after.

I have to call Naija, my NTA dish don kaput.

I feel sorry for the younger girls hearing all these scary stories

Mother inlaw lands slap on a DIL on both cheeks for picture
Mother inlaw tackles and pounds a DIL while refusing to give DIL her baby
MIL wants to breast feed grand baby and makes statements about being the real mother
MIL wants to enter baffroom with DIL
MIL pours soup on DIL
MIL hates Dil for not producing male children

kaboninc:


the root cause should be addressed before any genuine reconciliation can take place

They already reconciled since morning. How will you know, you're busy toasting a maiden.

kaboninc:


the root cause should be addressed before any genuine reconciliation can take place

I agree with you but like I said in my earlier post there has to be apologies for lines to be drawn.Ideally sef MIL should be apologising for putting her son in such an awkward position. My mum had issues with hubby and he apologised first.She also apologised to me for putting me in am awkward situation and also to him for any misunderstandings.

Even though I am not holding brief for either party as I feel they both have blame, ,sometimes there needs to be an explosion (abi is it storm) before there can be calm.

babyosisi:
I feel sorry for the younger girls hearing all these scary stories

Mother inlaw lands slap on a DIL on both cheeks for picture
Mother inlaw tackles and pounds a DIL while refusing to give DIL her baby
MIL wants to breast feed grand baby and makes statements about being the real mother
MIL wants to enter baffroom with DIL
MIL pours soup on DIL
MIL hates Dil for not producing male children

Hehehehehehehehe. The wahala plenty. The Sad tales of the Nigerian daughter in law. DILs with good MILs are sooooooo fortunate.

Shollypopzz:


Bad MILs are not exceptions, they are in the majority.

I never said op's case is similar or different because the op didn't give us enough information to come to that conclusion. All I'm saying is that, I can't judge her for refusing to give her MIL the pictures until the op answers my questions.

The op explicitly stated that his mother and wife have always had issues, I don;t know where you got the "cuddly" info from.

BTW, read my second post on this thread before you quote me.

I am afraid this may be so judging from marriages that have hit the rocks at the coming of the man's mother.
It's like talking about child molesters or killers
If you guessed the perpetrator was a man ,you are likely to be correct
But if you tell me a maid was killed,it is most likely in the hands of the wife
Some things are just more common than others

Double

justwise:
[/b]

I hit back even harder.

Okay, it's settled then.

damiso:



Even though I am not holding brief for either party as I feel they both have blame, , sometimes there needs to be an explosion (abi is it storm) before there can be calm .

That's usually the norm in most relationship...

Beatrice

damiso:


Like seriously who does that... . Over pictures Some women are just too petty.

I feel so sorry for the OP cos I know what an awkward situation it is having to take sides between a spouse and a parent where there was even no actual physical or verbal altercation. Try to get some older people to talk to your mum so your wife can apologise and you draw a line under this episode. Hopefully lessons would have been learnt and boundaries will be drawn.

Fighting over pictures, Lol... sounds Nollywood-ish to me, I must admit.


Hopefully lessons would have been learnt and most definitely, boundaries have been drawn... I'm pretty sure the MIL would think twice before getting into an altercation with her DIL ever again.

But even if they do settle their differences, will it ever be let's all sing kumbaya like nothing ever happened?
It's just not a good look on a woman to exchange blows and scratches with her MIL regardless of the cause.

Op, you opened thread, made a few comments and disappeared. I hope all is well.

Ewuro4:


They already reconciled since morning. How will you know, you're busy toasting a maiden.

Omo, the babe dey give me toooughhh time.

But I like it sha.....



Still, I hope it doesn't recur.

damiso:


I agree with you but like I said in my earlier post there has to be apologies for lines to be drawn.Ideally sef MIL should be apologising for putting her son in such an awkward position. My mum had issues with hubby and he apologised first.She also apologised to me for putting me in am awkward situation and also to him for any misunderstandings.

Even though I am not holding brief for either party as I feel they both have blame, ,sometimes there needs to be an explosion (abi is it storm) before there can be calm.

That is just so true.

And, the bond gets stronger.

kaboninc:





Omo, the babe dey give me toooughhh time.

But I like it sha.....



Still, I hope it doesn't recur.

Don't worry you shall conquer this wooing challenge , you just have to prove yourself more she's a toughie like moi.. We don't give in easily.

Yes it might recur.. It's left to both party to restrain themselves when it starts. This is life, shiît happens, we must learn to deal with it like a cognitive adult that we are.

perfectionist:


Thanks, Cococandy. Your advice is always appreciated on this forum.
As to the reasons behind their animosity I cannot say but I do suspect my wife believes my mother is against her and may want to harm her.
The other women present tried to separate the fight to no avail. Even neighbours assisted but they just won't let go until I came.
I've always advised my wife to avoid any situation that would lead to a quarrel or fight with my mother. I guess she chose not to listen.

Did I not say it? What sort of a person thinks her MIL wants to harm her, yet goes about laughing and playing with her? So MIL wanted to harm her grandkids too?

The fight couldn't even be separated.

freecocoa:
Did I not say it? What sort of a person thinks her MIL wants to harm her, yet goes about laughing and playing with her? So MIL wanted to harm her grandkids too?

The fight couldn't even be separated.

He hasn't told us his wife is crazy,has he?
He just didn't tell you the reasons she thinks the mom would harm her


I don't know where you get all these wild scenarios in stories
Laughing and playing with her
Where did that come from?
That a woman chose to be courteous to her visitors translates to laughing and playing
If they were laughing and playing,how then did the Dil sustain a slap?

By the way the MIL proved she could harm the DIL
She attacked her in her own home

crackhaus:

Fighting over pictures, Lol... sounds Nollywood-ish to me, I must admit.
Hopefully lessons would have been learnt and most definitely, boundaries have been drawn... I'm pretty sure the MIL would think twice before getting into an altercation with her DIL ever again.
But even if they do settle their differences, will it ever be let's all sing kumbaya like nothing ever happened?
It's just not a good look on a woman to exchange blows and scratches with her MIL regardless of the cause.

kaboninc:


That is just so true.

And, the bond gets stronger.

You know all the resentment had been brimming under the surface now they have both let it out so they can move on from it.

Ewuro4 do you have TVC News in Canada? That's where we are following the naija elections.

babyosisi:


Nne read the original post
That is where the story is

I read the original post.

Ewuro4:


Don't worry you shall conquer this wooing challenge , you just have to prove yourself more she's a toughie like moi.. We don't give in easily.

Yes it might recur.. It's left to both party to restrain themselves when it starts. This is life, shiît happens, we must learn to deal with it like a cognitive adult that we are.

Lol @ wooing challenge....

So you're tough too? Hmmmm


Yes oh, shiit happens. Personally, I don't think the MIL will just allow this incident to slide especially as she got a scar on her face. Don't know how she thinks but the DIL should be careful. It is well.

damiso:


You know all the resentment had been brimming under the surface now they have both let it out so they can move on from it.

Ewuro4 do you have TVC News in Canada? That's where we are following it.

Let me check.. But I doubt it. Thanks.

I called home already and nothing yet.

Ewuro4:


Let me check.. But I doubt it. Thanks.

I called home already and nothing yet.

Me sef don call taya Our TV has been on naija news all day.

@crackhaus,somethings are easier said than done.

Yesterday,i went to welcome a new baby into this world somewhere.
New wifey.
Hubby was married b4 but pursued the wife cos mama ssaid she wanna see her grandchild. Wifey dey get belle,carry to full term and on giving birth,baby will die. Three good times.

In my former office b4,the mama there has a DIL who gave birth 4 good times and all died.
We gat to know cos we witnessed the last one.
One day now,they will send her packing.

For the fact that u didn't give birth on time,no male child might get u in mama's bad book.
Iim being realistic dear.
Poo happens.

Yep,some DsIL are devil incarnate.
We just pray for the best for us and our loved ones.

kaboninc:


and if it doesn't happen...would you go ahead and marry?

Well since you want to personalize it, I'll oblige...

I already know the type, characteristics, and qualities of women my mother gets along with, bringing one to her that doesn't fall into that category means I'm deliberately looking for trouble.

Does that answer your question?