So what is she waiting for and not grabbing her copy NOW!

Meanwhile you said she's in her late 30's ! Is she living her life to please her sisters,Anyone or herself ?

Love not always all about show off! The young man has told her his plight not to be Financially buoyant for now! Only if she's planing to get married @ 40+ !


Wish them best in their affairs tho but if I were her would have jumped @ the guy's idea!




Cheeers

Sounds like an ultimatum to me.

Kids before bride price?...hmm... I can't say much but they really should ponder on that decision.

Mistakes are easily made at this stage.

To me, if they should agree on that, then family must be aware. It might sound stupid that family should decide on this, but they are more experienced and can see beyond that, their blessing is more important.

Tah!
So this guy will tell 5 girls the same story and marry the first one that gets pregnant.
Bettter do court wedding as insurance policy.

All I can say is that menopause abt two decades. what am I saying?am sure you know what u want.sorry I mean ur friend

What's this new trend of getting pregnant before marriage?



Guys sha,always coming up with different ways to job girls.

MzCorleone:
What's this new trend of getting pregnant before marriage?



Guys sha,always coming up with different ways to job girls.

There's a higher rate of womenm who lie to men that they are pregnant just to hook the guy. It has happened to me twice and I have friends who have gone through the same thing

Its always the friend, brother or cousin

ItsAnderson:

A close female friend of mine confided in me that her fiance wants to pay for her bride price and do other traditional rights. But he wants her to first have babies now because of her age. She is in her late 30s but she says she does not want to have her babes out of wedlock, Dat none of her sisters did dat and its against her doctrine but the man insists he doesn't have money for wedding now so they should first start making kids before marriage so it doesn't get difficult when she gets older.

She is confused as to what to do?
Please any suggestions?

Which kind condition be that?

they should both join their money together and do a simple wedding

So that's the price she have to pay before marrying him? What sort of dumb azz condition is this my people?


Let her stick to her belief. He either go with it or leave it. Unless offcourse she's desperate for marriage.

MzCorleone:
What's this new trend of getting pregnant before marriage?



Guys sha,always coming up with different ways to job girls.

are they imposing it ? He gave her options if she doesn't want she should DECLINE.

Afterall the man is the one marrying her.

falconey:




are they imposing it ? He gave her options if she doesn't want she should DECLINE.

Afterall the man is the one marrying her.

He made it an-agree-or-leave situation which shouldn't be so. Inasmuch as the lady is 30,she can still give birth,complications start when she is 35 and above. How sure are we that the man ll even still marry her? If he's looking for a baby mama,he should just say so and stop pretending he cares for the lady in question.





What then is the essence of marriage if such propositions are accepted?

hahn:


There's a higher rate of women who lie to men that they are pregnant just to hook the guy. It has happened to me twice and I have friends who have gone through the same thing

Are you now justifying the man's terms with this statement??

Kids before marriage isn't a taboo. Kids without a physical father has societal implications. Wedding doesn't have to be expensive. I know plenty of pastors that will join you two together without all those ceremonial man made crap!... Buy any ring, find a pastor and let him bless you two ( so far your parents are in support)... Gbam! You are married! Then have all the kids you want! You guys are not teenagers Joor!

Every nairalander has a friend that wants to ask a question..... this una 'friends' no de open account and ask by themselves ni?

If I say let her forget about the guy since his condition is against her doctrine, but she is already in her 30s so she needs someone to settle with.

So what I think she should do is ask him to do court marriage for now, if he doesn't agree to that, then just leave, he wants you as a baby mama, not a wife.

It is not until you have a lot of money before you can have a simple wedding. They can both afford it,they should do it.

If she dares having any kid now,he will never ask for her hand in marriage again and she may end up being a single mom.

As for her age,she shouldn't be scared or desperate,if this man leaves,a better man will surely come her way.

rokiatu:
So that's the price she have to pay before marrying him? What sort of dumb azz condition is this my people?


Let her stick to her belief. He either go with it or leave it. Unless offcourse she's desperate for marriage.

At 30, she should be desperate for marriage especially if she found the better half. In rlships, someone must make sacrifices in order to keep it going. If she is not willing to make the sacrifice then her guy should otherwise, that's the end of the rlship. If I were her, I would take the risk unless, the guy is not worth taking risk for. However, if she refuses trust me, some other girls would make the sacrifice and may eventually marry her hubby. She should also realise that there is no guarantee that another guy she will meet, will not directly or indirectly ask for the same thing. In a difficult situation like this, the only solution is decision. She should make a decision and live with the consequencies..

showafrica:


At 30, she should be desperate for marriage especially if she found the better half. In rlships, someone must make sacrifices in order to keep it going. If she is not willing to make the sacrifice then her guy should otherwise, that's the end of the rlship. If I were her, I would take the risk unless, the guy is not worth taking risk for. However, if she refuses trust me, some other girls would make the sacrifice and may eventually marry her hubby. She should also realise that there is no guarantee that another guy she will meet, will not directly or indirectly ask for the same thing. In a difficult situation like this, the only solution is decision. She should make a decision and live with the consequencies..

She should be desperate for marriage because marriage is the pathway to happiness right? SMFH at this lame azz mentality. No wonder we have many African women unhappy and miserable in their marital home. They rather remain there and suffer just so they can all be in the numbers.

Marriage na by force?

MzCorleone:
Are you now justifying the man's terms with this statement??

I was only responding to the comment

hahn:


I was only responding to the comment

Ok

You've not seen men in action before........u better get married fair and square, or he will definitely have the kids with you but he won't marry

if she did not have babies now, she will both lose the man nd will later have babies without husband or no baby at all.

what was she doing till now?

rokiatu:
So that's the price she have to pay before marrying him? What sort of dumb azz condition is this my people?


Let her stick to her belief. He either go with it or leave it. Unless offcourse she's desperate for marriage.

a lady in her late 30's is more than desperate for marriage...no time for beliefs here...menopause is already knocking @ her door

Its nt as if the guy has the money and dnt wna do it,he has made his intentions known to her,if she really luvs the guy she wld step on dt doctrine and do the needful. . *notime2checktime. . .i dedicate my FP to jimi agbaje our next governor of lasgidi. . .

MzCorleone:
He made it an-agree-or-leave situation which shouldn't be so. Inasmuch as the lady is 30,she can still give birth,complications start when she is 35 and above. How sure are we that the man ll even still marry her? If he's looking for a baby mama,he should just say so and stop pretending he cares for the lady in question.





What then is the essence of marriage if such propositions are accepted?

My dear she's 35 and well above

That condition is totally out of it joor!
If she truly knw the God she's serving, then let her uphold her faith in God and do the right.
Why will the man say he doesn't have bride price?!
BRIDE PRICE! Does anyone knw the meaning of that?
Like it has been said earlier by some ppu, let them "join" their purse and do a small wedding with their parent's blessing, that's enuff and better than sayin he doesn't have money for bride price...afterwards they can do the kind of wedding they so mch want.
...But bride price FIRST...(It doesn't have to be much/grand!)

neoapocalypse:


My dear she's 35 and well above

It still doesn't change the fact that he asked her to have a child first before marriage,he was well aware of the fact that she's advanced before asking for her hand in marriage.

EmmySparky:
a lady in her late 30's is more than desperate for marriage...no time for beliefs here...menopause is already knocking @ her door

That's the problem,he knows she's desperate and he's playing on her emotion.