My chick is constantly being picked by a guy who is not a neighbour for work and dropped from work,receive personal gifts,calls even at odd hrs etc for almost a year.I hv been uncomfortable by the development nd begged her severally to stop and she also cried and promised to do just that but the calls keep coming from this same guy nd the minute i turn my back she finds him as the best companion.She strongly claims there is nothing btw them but now my tongue is aching cos i'hv been counting my teeth.So now i ask,could it be that am not being reasonable for my failure to believe cos she has kept on saying am unreasonable.I see it all as cooked up story from this woman.Or is it that my woman is simply a cheat?Now i find it had to trust her thou i love her with every beat of my heart.

At this point, It doesn't really matter if you're being unreasonablle or not, you're the one in the relationship that has to deal with it. It's uncomfortable for you and you've told your partner about it and it's not something she's willing to stop. You make your decision from there. Some others might be okay with it, but that's not the point. They are not you. It doesn't mean she's cheating on you either, the guy is probably just her friend. Still, the friendship in your opinion is overstepping boundaries. That's all you need to use to figure out what to do.

you know what they say; a girl seems all the more attractive if she's got a boyfriend. she may not be cheating, but the guy likes her, and the fact that he's all up in her space despite her having a boyfriend is sufficient indication. she's promised to stop, but doesn't? his attention is flattering. it doesn't mean she's cheating, but this guy has more than friendly feelings for your girl .

my advice? you might want to take sometime out and re-kindle the affection you guys had at first. you know, a weekend trip, surprise her (trust me it doesn't have to be a gift) just do something different and fun. get her giggling like a piglet. shoot act like u just met her all over again!

bobbyo:

My chick is constantly being picked by a guy who is not a neighbour for work and dropped from work,receive personal gifts,calls even at odd hrs etc for almost a year.I hv been uncomfortable by the development nd begged her severally to stop and she also cried and promised to do just that but the calls keep coming from this same guy nd the minute i turn my back she finds him as the best companion.She strongly claims there is nothing btw them but now my tongue is aching cos i'hv been counting my teeth.So now i ask,could it be that am not being reasonable for my failure to believe cos she has kept on saying am unreasonable.I see it all as cooked up story from this woman.Or is it that my woman is simply a cheat?Now i find it had to trust her thou i love her with every beat of my heart.

She's a cheat and she's greedy too.

~Sauron~:

She's a cheat and she's greedy too.

maybe. or maybe her relationship has become a routine and she's getting excitement and attention elsewhere. or just maybe she's trying to enjoy the best of both worlds who knows?

poster shd decide if the relationship is worth saving. if she's beginning to forget what a great guy she has, aint no harm in reminding her.

iceblue:

maybe. or maybe her relationship has become a routine and she's getting excitement and attention elsewhere. or just maybe she's trying to enjoy the best of both worlds who knows?

Should a woman live such life?? If she doesn't want his boy/f anymore, why not tell him??

poster shd decide if the relationship is worth saving. if she's beginning to forget what a great guy she has, aint no harm in reminding her.

I would kick her out like POLIO.
There are many pebbles on the beach for a woman to be looking here n there begging for gift cards.

She's probably shagging him.

well honey, the OP aint you. Love might make him look at it differently. He can at least try, so he doesn't have any what-ifs or regrets if/when they break-up. it's not about all the girls out there. it's about the one right here.

Guys are always saying how when they cheat, it doesn't mean they don't still love their partner. There's no proof she's cheating, but if she allows another guy distract her, it doesn't necessarily mean she wants to breakup with her boyfie.

before i forget, OP, you're not being unreasonable. it's very reasonable for you to be bothered by the other guy's undue closeness.

by the way, chicks have drama! if OP hadn't complained at all, she'll conclude he doesn't love her enough

iceblue:

Guys are always saying how when they cheat, it doesn't mean they don't still love their partner. There's no proof she's cheating, but if she allows another guy distract her, it doesn't necessarily mean she wants to breakup with her boyfie.

There's no proof she's cheating but she wants to EAT her cake and HAVE it.
Ma advice to the poster. . . . .Kick her out like POLIO. . . . .
If your conscience can't take it. . . . .Go to Yom Kippur and beg God for forgiveness.
He would answer if you ask nicely.

If its getting uncomfortable for u, then i suggest u get out of it

I suggest you talk to her.Ask her not to see the boy again.If she insist that she cannot do without him, then you do not need any prophet to tell you that they have been making a fool of you all along.

my bro, shine your eyes!!!

oge4real:

I suggest you talk to her.Ask her not to see the boy again.If she insist that she cannot do without him, then you do not need any prophet to tell you that they have been making a fool of you all along.

I have come to a conclusion that talk is cheap
No amount of talk will change her jare, cuz i am sure he has spoken 2 her abt it lots of time

Thanks for your replies,i scared to believe but really am also seeing no amount of talk can change her.I decided to breakup with her and study what difference that will make bt when we chat online most times i see she is unwilling to change.A couple of weeks have past and she is now sending me text msgs telling me for all the pains she has caused me,she is sorry.Funny enough the same laptop she uses,is his which i asked to be return,i guess that shows how sorry and serious she is to be back.Tope i want you to know that when it comes to this woman i have been a saint.