Hello folks,
Greetings to all the wonderful people on this forum especially in this section, may God bless and keep your home.

I dont even know where to start or where to begin from, but as the Yoruba says, 'Words cant be too big that we use a knife to break it down', forgive my cliche.

I have been dating a lady since last year, July 2014 and to tell you the truth, I was in love, she was young, smart and kinda homely, also she is a christian which I want anyway, however we have a problem, she had trust issues, she hardly trust people and according to her, it takes her 4 months to make things work between her. Fast forward, we started dating and things get easily well, but she hides a lot of things from me, I hardly know her family details, she gave me her sister's number when I almost turn it fight, and she is too secretive, I have to whine and whine her at times before she opens up a bit, I am more like the talkie talkie in the relationship.

Last week, I decided to check her facebook page, I knew its wrong, but I thought since we are both lovers, we dont need to hide anything from each others, but I got a shocker, when she sent this message to a guy the previous day...

AAA pls start prayn abt dis: dt u weneva I tel my parent abt u,dy wnt object and dy wil agree wit me and also wen dy see u,dy wil accept u. Any opposition wil b clear off d way. Pls pray abt it more.


I decided to wave it, but I cant endure it anymore, and I decided to ask her about it, and her response was, the guy was just a friend but she asks what I see and what happens, then I told her that I checked her fb page and this is my revelation, and hell was let loose, she started that why should I check her fb and what am I looking for, that in fact she is quitting.

Long words short, I tried to calm her down and try to resolve some issues, now she said she has lost trust in me, my offence, I checked her fb, I have been having a hard time because I truly love her but she is not open enough to me.

Please what can I do? If you need any questions kindly ask me.
I apologised if my write up is not that clear enough, my heart is heavy, please pardon me.

Let the relationship experts in this section help you out.

What advice do you need? It's obvious you were 'the other guy' . . . Plan B!!!

Move on . . .

Let her go. You love her, agreed, but it takes two people who really want to be in a relationship to maintain one. Keeping her against her wish would only frustrate your love life and leave you high and dry in the long run.

So let her go

You should get yourself someone better.That lady has issues and it's not in your best interest to try to keep her.

She was caught pants down and she has somehow managed to pin it on you and make you feel guilty. My dear, run from her...

Thanks folks, I appreciate you all,
Let me try to give a little detailed analysis, her secretiveness is really taking a toll on our relationship lately that I decided to call her and explain my mind to her, her response was that, I knew that was her weakness, I have tried to play the role of a good and godly guy to her, I have never cheated on her even when the opportunity are many, I told her to check my fb and I gave her my username and password which she refuses.

I quite agree she might be dating the guy cos she once used the guy as a dp on her bbm before and when I complained she removes it saying the guy is her friend and she has never, I meant never used my picture as her dp except last week which happens to be my birthday, I have lived a transparent live and by the grace of God, I knew am blameless.

When I asked her the meaning of that message if she said the guy was her friend, her response was 'The guy has been on her neck for quite some time and he is disturbing her, she just have to use the message to draw away his attention and let her breath', I asked her if she told him that she was in a relationship and she said NO!!!.

My head is really spinning now, I felt quitting but my mind is still with her.

She is not serious, just quit okay; with time you will feel better.

My guy, leave that girl alone. She is not yours. Don't cry over spoilt milk because it will leave your heart extremely shatterd.

Just look for another girl and switch over your love and attention and watch the emotional warfare begin.

I advice every guy to make the ladies the complainners. Let them be the onese to complain. The more a girl discovers that you don't like a particular thing she's doing and that you complain to make her change she will start feeling like a lord and saviour. She will then believe you can't live without her.

Advice: let her go.

She doesn't worth your love; let her go.
There are better ladies who deserves you wholeheartedly.

sweettease:
She was caught pants down and she has somehow managed to pin it on you and make you feel guilty. My dear, run from her...

Exactly. I hate manipulators. She's done something wrong but using the gentleness of the guy to try turn things on its head.

Guy, i have been in such situations before. Please run for your dear life. It would get to a point you start questioning your sanity. They are always just friends till kasala burst. She's just keeping you as an option. First, she said he was just a friend, now it is that he has been asking her out. Can you see the numerous lies already?

Only if you are silly would you believe a girl sending such a message was to dissuade a guy that was actually on her neck. .some people and lies.

I have to ask this questions and forgive me for asking.

1. Is her family richer than yours?

2. Is she the one financing certain things in that relationship? Like paying the bills, food etc.

3. Are you owing her in such a way that you feel indebted Kind of if you live her?

if the answer to this questions is no, then you should use your tongue to count your teeth.

You should be the one totally upset, and you allowed her to beat you to it.

She is a very good player man. She was the one acting like she got trust issues, and she was the one that got someone playing in her field and kept u on a reserve bench just in case there is an injury.

I know you can not help who you love and I will be the last person to ask you to live her. I just wanted you to know that the kind of snake you got in your livingroom is cobra. And her venom is deadly

"Love is blind but marriage is the eye opener".
If you haven't gotten the message from her (Even after confirming she is planning to marry another man) then who am I to advise you when your mind is already made up?

The day a man fall in love he automatically bcoms a fool... hmmm.

Op let her go, though it's gonna be hard, pls let her go...

From my own personal experience, i have discovered that there is no human being whether male/female that SB can't do away with.If you let that girl marry you out of pity,you will regret it.I urge you to forget about her,and move on with your life.

I dont know what else u want us to advice u on.
U caught her cheating on u redhanded.. She found a way to twist it and blame u for it. U have allowed a chief manipulator to control the outcome of things.
U did not do any wrong, if she had nothing to hide, u wont be here seeking for advice. Its a good thing u found out what u know now. Imagine if u had already married this stranger.
OP leave another man's girl friend alone cuz every detail u have given here shows u were just an option. She knows who she wants.
In a world where it is possible to choose between u and that guy.. She would choose the other guy 1 million times.
Only a wuss wil force a girl to use his picture as DP, stop that sh!t.. It is obvious that she is not feeling u. You have been forcing urself on her all the while. Please move on.
What ever u do, dont try to contact the other guy cuz people do stup!d things when they are emotional. Your dealings should be with ur babe only.
My own advice for u is: Man stop acting like a LOSER.. Leave the 'relationship?' now with ur diginity intact, stop sobbing around or trying to force the girl to be with you. There are plenty nice, christian and homely girl that will appreciate u beta. The earlier the better for u.

"Onoda" MTCHEEEEEEEEEEEEEW topic!
MTCHEEEEEEEEEEEEW!!!!!!

KanwuliaJara:
"Onoda" MTCHEEEEEEEEEEEEEW topic!
MTCHEEEEEEEEEEEEW!!!!!!

Must you talk? If you dont have any m the hell meaningful thing to do, please respect yourself and get the hell out...
Its people like you that makes people insult you.

Richy4:
I have to ask this questions and forgive me for asking.

1. Is her family richer than yours?

2. Is she the one financing certain things in that relationship? Like paying the bills, food etc.

3. Are you owing her in such a way that you feel indebted Kind of if you live her?

if the answer to this questions is no, then you should use your tongue to count your teeth.

You should be the one totally upset, and you allowed her to beat you to it.

She is a very good player man. She was the one acting like she got trust issues, and she was the one that got someone playing in her field and kept u on a reserve bench just in case there is an injury.

I know you can not help who you love and I will be the last person to ask you to live her. I just wanted you to know that the kind of snake you got in your livingroom is cobra. And her venom is deadly

None of the above sir...

Op,don't mind people telling youto quit this relationship,they are only jealous of your stupidity..

Wait till she marries the guy,before you let her go.

Yeye loverboy.

@OP
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA nonsense of the highest order!

FAIL #1 going through your girl's phone and finding out that she is cheating on you, but yet you dont know what to do with this information.... then what the hell did you go and search in her phone?! waste of time!!!

FAIL #2 finding out that your gf is planning to introduce some dude to her parent, and you completely ignoring that fact, thinking that you are still in a r/ship with her, while you are in fact the biggest mugu in town.

FAIL #3 you catch your gf cheating but she turns the table on your weak self and instead blames you for sneaking in her phone (and make this a lack of TRUST issue on your part) while your sorry self completely ignore the fact that she is the untrustworthy cheating person here.

OP please accept all my condolences!

Ok

saints2:


Must you talk? If you dont have any m the hell meaningful thing to do, please respect yourself and get the hell out...
Its people like you that makes people insult you.

So much bitterness for a simple response!
Pathetic soul!

KanwuliaJara:


So much bitterness for a simple response!
Pathetic soul!

I will pretend I didnt see you, you must be a disgrace to yourself, if you dont have any meaningful thing doing, go get yourself a good sleep, you respect yourself and dignity.

Hmmmm,

I really want to appreciate every bit of your comments, I am indebted for your advices here, thanks all.

For the records, its not as if I am a fool, a mugu or a slowpoke as some of us have said, I have only been careful and been considerate, while we are dating, before we got deeper, she explains her weakness as someone having trust issues and she explained that I should not take it personal when its kind of diffcult with time to reply in a way I will like, I did the needful by showing her true love, I hold nothing away from here, I was sincere, I told her even things she didnt even ask or worth telling cos I thought through this she might be able to trust and open up too when she sees am doing the samee, but alas still the same old story. I noticed a change in her temperance last week and asked her what the problem was, she said nothing, unknown to me, just yesterday I found out they are having family issues, how am I to know, am a wizard?

Calling it quit was never a problem to him as it can't take me 48 hours to forget about her, but its just for the records thats why am kind of careful in taking my time and because of the true love I had towards her. Truly, love is wicked.

@op, ur gf reminds me of Ngozi, in fact her name shuld be "Lion". She can LIE... Chai! Umunwayi di too ominimious...

Op this chick did you wrong sorry about that. No need to ask her any further questions. I don't understand why she would have someone she wants to marry yet have another boyfriend again.

But please don't list to these men telling you to start treating women badly. Not all women are like her. I certainly am not and most of my friends aren't either. Most women really appreciate a good guy like you. I would hate to see a good guy become an arse. Just let her go, the right lady for you is coming shortly and you won't even remember this chick again

fem29:
Op this chick did you wrong sorry about that. No need to ask her any further questions. I don't understand why she would have someone she wants to marry yet have another boyfriend again.

But please don't list to these men telling you to start treating women badly. Not all women are like her. I certainly am not and most of my friends aren't either. Most women really appreciate a good guy like you. I would hate to see a good guy become an arse. Just let her go, the right lady for you is coming shortly and you won't even remember this chick again

Don't tell me you don't know. That's the stock in trade of most Nigerians now both male and female. They always have options. They would tell you never to keep all your eggs in one basket. Such schemings and deceit towards something you want to spend an eternity at and they expect to have a happy married life.

I don't want to seem like i am dishing out unreal figures but a whooping 80% of Nigerian ladies have a 2nd boyfriend or friendzoned boy they are keeping in check while in a relationship.