Even though he has been declared the
Governor-elect of Tafki State Barmu
Dakatsalle has been unable to sit down and
enjoy it because of my refusal to telephone
him and concede.
His wives had planned a big party and invited
musicians from all over Tafki State to come
and perform in front of their house but
Barmu stopped the party, saying things are still
brewing underground. Since then he has been
running helter skelter asking every important
community and religious leader in the state to
plead with me to concede. The day he heard that
two SANs were seen in my house, people said he
almost fell down from his chair. He is so afraid of
what will happen when I go to the election
petition tribunal. He is like the chick who cannot
find a place to sit down and eat his food.
Obviously at Barmu’s prompting, the Tafki
Council of Elders sent a strong delegation to
plead with me to concede to Barmu in order to
give peace a chance. Another delegation of
Muslim clerics also came, saying I should accept
the will of God and concede. Maikahon Karo
arrived at my house just when their leader was
speaking and he promptly jumped into the
discussion saying, “Accept the will of God or
accept rigging? Who told you that Barmu won the
election? Do you know the mago mago that that
professor who calls himself returning officer did?
You people are saying Alhaji should accept the
will of God; is it God that said election should be
rigged?”
Many other groups also came to plead with me to
concede. There was a delegation of civil society
groups. I suspect they were the ones that
sneaked to my house and gave my orderly a piece
of paper containing Barmu Dakatsalle’s phone
number, that I should call him and concede.
Another group of trade unionists also came, as
did a group calling themselves Housewives for
Peace in Tafki State. They were led by one very
old woman. As soon as they came into my living
room, about 30 of them, they all knelt down and
started saying in unison, “Please Alhaji, phone
Barmu and concede so that we will have peace in
Tafki State.” Tsinin Kusa was there that day and
he said, “Stand up, you old women! Who sent
you? Is it not Barmu’s wife that sent you here to
plead with Alhaji? That bus that brought you here,
I know it. Barmu’s wife bought it recently from
her mechanic!”
When he saw that his hired delegations were
making no headway, Barmu decided to come to
my house himself. He arrived unannounced at
midnight together with the GSL party chairman
and Barmu’s close friend Ali Karatsaye. I know Ali
Karatsaye very well; he and Barmu were small
time contractors in Abuja and they used to come
to my office together. Barmu and his companions
were stopped at the gate and a message was
brought to me that someone who says he is the
Governor-elect was here to see me. I said, “Go
and tell him there is no Governor-elect in this
town until the tribunal finishes its work.” Since
his declaration as Governor-elect Barmu now has
four Mopols attached to him; they were the ones
that pushed my maiguard aside and he entered
my house.
I was sitting alone in the living room watching
television when they sauntered in. As soon as
they came into my living room Barmu came
straight at me, grinning broadly and said, “Alhaji,
since you refused to phone me and concede, I am
here myself to receive your concession. Maybe
you didn’t phone because you have no credit in
your phone. After all this campaign, I know you
can run out of money to buy credit. Since I am
here you can now concede to me face to face,
then we can tell the people of Tafki State that
Alhaji has conceded to his old friend. Afterall, I
have been your boy and your friend for a long
time. In fact we nearly became in-laws;
remember that I wanted to marry your sister that
time but you said you had already given her away
to somebody. Even now if you have another sister
I don’t mind adding since I still have one
vacancy.”
I said, “Look here Barmu, don’t bring to me all
those Charlie Charlie jokes. I don’t have any
sister to give you and I am not going to concede
to you whether by phone, by fax, by email, by
post or by courier. You know that you and GSL
betrayed me. We had an agreement but you
abandoned it after your party won the presidential
election. You must be punished for that. You
know you have many skeletons in your cupboard.
Your educational certificate is dubious. You were
once indicted by an investigative panel for
collecting money and failing to execute a
contract. You owe money to many banks and
your name is even at EFCC. That your running
mate was once dismissed from a local
government because he collected payment twice
with the same receipt. So how can I concede to
you with all these skeletons in your cupboard?
Each one of them can disqualify you.”
I expected to see fright on Barmu’s face but he
laughed hilariously and said, “Alhaji, you and I
have been together since when we were walking
about this neighbourhood without pants. Is this
what you want to do to your childhood friend, to
go and start revealing my secrets? What if I also
reveal your secrets? All the contracts that you
inflated when you were a director, was it not my
company’s letter headed paper that you were
using? I don’t think it is good for the two of us to
start revealing each other’s secrets.”
At that stage the state chairman of GSL
interjected. He said, “Alhaji, no one can come
between you and His Excellency the Governor-
elect. You grew up together and even in Abuja
you were doing your things together so no one
can come in-between the two of you. Alhaji, listen
to me very carefully. If you take your friend to the
tribunal it is only to the advantage of lawyers and
judges. A lawyer will eat from your pocket and a
lawyer will eat from Governor-elect’s pocket. The
tribunal chairman and members will also eat from
both of you. Policemen will eat, Malams will eat
and witchdoctors will also eat. My proposal is
this. Pick up your phone now and phone him,
even though you are sitting together on the same
settee. Then when he is forming his cabinet he
will make you the Secretary to the State
Government with a promise to hand over to you
when he finishes his second term.”

source- dailytrust.com.ng/weekly/index.php/satire/20331-gov-elect-cannot-sit-down-to-eat

Has a new state been created?
Which is 'Tafki State' again?

Chasing yourself when no one is ready to chase u fight ur battle to the end and see if u worth being there