By Toyin Idowu

 
Chris is a 33 year old lecturer in one of the higher institutions in Lagos, Nigeria. He met Funke, a 28 year old dentist when he visited her hospital to sort out the challenge he had with two of his teeth. One thing led to another and they started dating which lasted for 13 months before they eventually got married. Immediately after their marriage, they began to have serious issues that put pressure on their relationship. First, Chris had wanted a child as soon as they could but his wife had a different plan entirely because of her career. Funke had to go and do a comprehensive family planning to bar pregnancy for the first five years of her marriage so as to enable her focus on her career and other dreams. This got Chris really mad. From there on, quite a number of things began to unfold which made Chris understand he had not given much thought to his choice.
Chris is a very homely person who believes family must come first with the highest priority but Funke is a career woman who believes family can always wait while one goes out to pursue her dreams.  As far as Chris is concerned, when you have what can take care of your immediate needs and give you satisfaction, every other thing about you will be successful but Funke’s disposition about life is that money can never be in excess so do all you can to make sure you have more than enough. These and many other things came to limelight for Chris which of course made him to start managing crisis.

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May I start by saying that in marriage and even life generally, there are basic principles and standards to be followed if one is to have a fulfilled marriage. These principles are so crucial that once they are overlooked right from the foundation of choice, there will always be problems to handle. You might eventually get over the problems latter on, but you would have gone through what a human being shouldn’t have gone through in marriage!

I want to talk to guys about the principle of making a marital choice that brings fulfillment to one’s life since the initiative is expected to come from them, they need to know how it works. It’s not enough for you to merely know you need a woman in your life but what’s your understanding of the type of lady you need? It’s equally not just enough for you to know that you are of age but how serious are you with the preparation? What knowledge are you acquiring to put you in a situation where you can enjoy your marriage?

The first marriage that happened took place because the first guy was diagnosed to have had a need for a helper, one that was suitable for his needs. Guys, this means that everyman has a need that could only be met by the opposite sex! Not even the closest person to you in life will be able to address that need in your life as a man. There is a definite touch, every man needs in life which angels, parents, pastors etc irrespective of the close relationship can’t administer to you. No matter who you are, there is a particular set of quality any lady you want to marry must possess to be in sync with your need and configuration. Otherwise, you are bound to have a square peg in a round hole for your life.

These needs could be emotional, spiritual, mental or physical which vary from man to man and that is why you may not be able to cope with the kind of woman I can cope with neither will I be able to cope with the kind of woman you can handle. Reason? Simply because no two men have the same need and make-up. My emotional need for example is quite different from your own emotional need. You don’t have the same type of spiritual challenge as your blood brother does, so your choice and outlook on taking a woman as a life partner will definitely not be the same because it takes a woman that has the in-built capacity to handle your weaknesses to marry you.Quite a number of men could hardly decipher what they actually want in life. A lot of men walk into marriages without understanding their temperament while so many run after ladies when they don’t even understand how their emotions work!
PLEASE CLICK THE LINK BELOW TO CONTINUE

http://expressng.com/2015/05/chosing-mrs-right-guys-understand-how-this-principle-works-realitywithtid/

Many men don't even have an idea what they want in a wife.