topefun:
At around 6am in the morning, I heard a knock on the door, I moved to the door and opened it, to my surprise, it was my landlord, OMG, he must have seen my facebook status I posted 8hours ago, what I posted was "am getting money everyday, baba God noni" I should not have posted that status, well let me save myself from this landlord mess first.
Me: Good morning baba (with smile on my face)
LandLord: Thank God you are smiling at me, I like that status u posted about you getting money
Me: baba, someone hacked my facebook account since yesterday
LandLord: Rilli? Who normally post in advertise here free group every morning about website, is it hackers ??
Me: (then I realised i posted my site adv like 10minutes ago, chai, am not good @lying) Maybe the hacker.
At that point, I saw my babe coming from a distance, we met in just a week and now we are dating, i don't want her to know my situation with my landlord so I quickly entered my house and gave oga landlord everything I have. Now am cashless, my God will work wonders sha. When my babe finally arrived at my place, we talked happily for a while until she asked for money, then the tempo of our conversation changed. What do I do now ? Let me formulate a white lie for her.
Me: I don't have money with me, should I give you my ATM card ? (I don't have money on my ATM card o)
Bae: Ok, give me your atm card pin, I'll withdraw the amount I need.
Me: Oh, I haven't dome my BVN, you can't withdraw
Bae: I haven't dome my BVN also but I withdraw yesterday
Me: Am using WEMA bank,
Bae: but my friend using WEMA bank who has not done her BVN also withdraw last week
Me: (now vexed) ok, my pin is 1337 here is my atm card
She then put the atm card in her hand bag and smiled. I had no choice than to put a fake smile on my face with lots of thoughts running through my mind, how disappointed will she be if she sees my account balance to be less than 1k. She stood up and walked to the toilet to ease herself, I then thought within myself to perform a simple operation, steal my ATM from her bag before she comes back. Yes! I finally stole my ATM, now that am a little bit relieved, she heads towards her bag and picks it up and told me she is going to the bank. I faked a byebye and went inside, my plan now is to put the atm card on the table so that she will think she actually forgot that card, to my surprise, I took her friend's WEMA bank ATM card, yeee! According to lil kesh, gbese re o. How will I explain to her about my cashless policy when I have already told her am a rich nigga. While still thinking of what to do next, I heard an sms alert on my phone, who could that be ? To my surprise, its WEMA bank, Your Account 306522**** has been credited with amount 10,000.00 your available balance is 10,680.55. Then I remembered one of my client who promised to pay 10k into my bank account for some internet stuff. I don get alert, Godwin! I started singing Korede Bello Godwin song. Dancing and singing, with my heart filled with joy, after 15 minutes I received another alert on my phone from WEMA bank. OMG, she has withdraw 10k with my ATM, my Godwin song changed to Double wahala for myself song by Oritsha Femi. Not too long, my bae came back feeling happy while I was sad but faking some kind of happy spirit. When you don't have money, don't pretend you have bcuz one day, you will blame yourself for pretending. What do I do now ?? My next mission is to collect my hard earned 10 thousand naira from this daylight unarmed robber. "Come and look at this video", she said then I replied "I hate that kind of video and the people who watches it". Am sure she was watching one of those talent hunt clips. How do I collect this raba, that's what keep coming to my mind, she then said to me, will you take me out for dinner tonight ? This was what made me totally vexed. I didn't know when I said to her that "are you mad?", that statement made her pissed off. She then said, "are you talking to me", wow, what a great opportunity, I quickly replied "yes you, what do you expect after that 10k you withdraw, am i wizkid?", then she looked at me and gave me that 10k and said "it don't know you are like this, well its over between us". Mission accomplished! I collected my 10k. Everythings is now back to normal and I've learnet my lessons
Moral lesson: don't pretend to be someone you are not, just be yourself

RichThug:
Pishure of your babe urinating or your landlord knocking or idontbilivit

topefun:
At around 6am in the morning, I heard a knock on the door, I moved to the door and opened it, to my surprise, it was my landlord, OMG, he must have seen my facebook status I posted 8hours ago, what I posted was "am getting money everyday, baba God noni" I should not have posted that status, well let me save myself from this landlord mess first.
Me: Good morning baba (with smile on my face)
LandLord: Thank God you are smiling at me, I like that status u posted about you getting money
Me: baba, someone hacked my facebook account since yesterday
LandLord: Rilli? Who normally post in advertise here free group every morning about website, is it hackers ??
Me: (then I realised i posted my site adv like 10minutes ago, chai, am not good @lying) Maybe the hacker.
At that point, I saw my babe coming from a distance, we met in just a week and now we are dating, i don't want her to know my situation with my landlord so I quickly entered my house and gave oga landlord everything I have. Now am cashless, my God will work wonders sha. When my babe finally arrived at my place, we talked happily for a while until she asked for money, then the tempo of our conversation changed. What do I do now ? Let me formulate a white lie for her.
Me: I don't have money with me, should I give you my ATM card ? (I don't have money on my ATM card o)
Bae: Ok, give me your atm card pin, I'll withdraw the amount I need.
Me: Oh, I haven't dome my BVN, you can't withdraw
Bae: I haven't dome my BVN also but I withdraw yesterday
Me: Am using WEMA bank,
Bae: but my friend using WEMA bank who has not done her BVN also withdraw last week
Me: (now vexed) ok, my pin is 1337 here is my atm card
She then put the atm card in her hand bag and smiled. I had no choice than to put a fake smile on my face with lots of thoughts running through my mind, how disappointed will she be if she sees my account balance to be less than 1k. She stood up and walked to the toilet to ease herself, I then thought within myself to perform a simple operation, steal my ATM from her bag before she comes back. Yes! I finally stole my ATM, now that am a little bit relieved, she heads towards her bag and picks it up and told me she is going to the bank. I faked a byebye and went inside, my plan now is to put the atm card on the table so that she will think she actually forgot that card, to my surprise, I took her friend's WEMA bank ATM card, yeee! According to lil kesh, gbese re o. How will I explain to her about my cashless policy when I have already told her am a rich nigga. While still thinking of what to do next, I heard an sms alert on my phone, who could that be ? To my surprise, its WEMA bank, Your Account 306522**** has been credited with amount 10,000.00 your available balance is 10,680.55. Then I remembered one of my client who promised to pay 10k into my bank account for some internet stuff. I don get alert, Godwin! I started singing Korede Bello Godwin song. Dancing and singing, with my heart filled with joy, after 15 minutes I received another alert on my phone from WEMA bank. OMG, she has withdraw 10k with my ATM, my Godwin song changed to Double wahala for myself song by Oritsha Femi. Not too long, my bae came back feeling happy while I was sad but faking some kind of happy spirit. When you don't have money, don't pretend you have bcuz one day, you will blame yourself for pretending. What do I do now ?? My next mission is to collect my hard earned 10 thousand naira from this daylight unarmed robber. "Come and look at this video", she said then I replied "I hate that kind of video and the people who watches it". Am sure she was watching one of those talent hunt clips. How do I collect this raba, that's what keep coming to my mind, she then said to me, will you take me out for dinner tonight ? This was what made me totally vexed. I didn't know when I said to her that "are you mad?", that statement made her pissed off. She then said, "are you talking to me", wow, what a great opportunity, I quickly replied "yes you, what do you expect after that 10k you withdraw, am i wizkid?", then she looked at me and gave me that 10k and said "it don't know you are like this, well its over between us". Mission accomplished! I collected my 10k. Everythings is now back to normal and I've learnet my lessons
Moral lesson: don't pretend to be someone you are not, just be yourself